A/N:

Yo! xP

A reviewer actually got the quote I used last chappie! I'm so proud! :DD

An anonymous reviewer almost got it – alexdemyx. You were almost right; you had the right movie in mind. xP

But CONGRATS, H. E. Vaughn! :DD I'm über proud of yooou~! x3

So proud, in fact, that I updated a day after you reviewed! :DD

Nice try to everyone who guessed but didn't get it. Most of you were actually really close! ;D

Here's what it was:

While Arthur was trying to stomp Gilbert's hands so he'd fall off the cliff, poor Gilbo said, "Let's not be too hasty!" It's from Aladdin. ;P

OH, and I'm so glad that like, no one expected Maximus to be Francis. Everyone was so excited that he was Gilbert! ;D So YAY. Good job on my part! xD

WARNING: Though the plot hasn't quite developed to that point yet, this will be BL. Yaoi. Gay love. MaleXmale. Don't like, pleasedon't make and ass out of yourself by reading.

DISCLAIMER: Me? Own Hetalia? Or Tangled? PFFT! Such idiocy!

I huffed, running a hand through my golden locks. I'd made a bold move, actually coming up to some guy – who could be a thief or who might want to steal me – and hitting him upside the head with a baseball bat.

Brave indeed.

I had seen the man from my window while I was – again – man-baking. I had been transitioning a pie from the oven to the table when I saw a flash of yellow from the corner of my eye. At first, I'd thought it was just a yellow bird passing by the window. However, when I looked out of said window…

Now I had a messy, on-the-floor pie and a meanie, on-the-floor crook.

"What the Hell'm I supposed to do with this guy?" I poked his cheek with the tip of my bat –

And got a groan in response.

I quickly whipped the "weapon" hard on his back, and there was silence.

Tony came fluttering over. You're scrambling his brains, Alfred.

"Hey, I didn't actually hit him in the head that time."

The bird gave me a look. Okay, then. You're rupturing his spinal cord which, in retrospect, is no better than scrambling his brains. In fact, it's probably far worse.

My eyes rolled skyward in annoyance as I lightly flicked him away with my hand. He used his signature dramatic huff. Someone's grumpy.

I grabbed my hostage/thief's legs, dragging him – none too gently – over to my armoire. "Tony. Seriously? This guy just broke into the tower lookin' all creepy and I had to beat him senseless with a baseball bat." I kicked open one of the doors. "Would you be in a splendid mood after that? I mean… this is the first person from the outside world I've ever seen other than my mother."

What does that have to do with anything?

I grunted as I shoved the other blonde into the armoire, glaring at my tiny bird friend. "He-llo? I want a happy reunion with the outside, not… this." I gestured to the man, thick-ass eyebrows and all.

He tumbled out of the piece of furniture.

"UGH!"

I threw him back in, quick to close the doors on him this time so he wouldn't fall out.

I ended up slamming them on his fingers. They stuck out from between the doors awkwardly.

My front teeth bit into my bottom lip. "Ouchie…"

I stuffed them in, attempting to ignore the crack that came from his index finger.

I brushed my hands together, wrapping them in fists and placing them on my hips as my chest swelled with pride. "I. Have a grown man. In my closet." I turned to my full-length mirror, grinning widely to myself into it. "Dude! I have a freaking grown man in my closet!"

I laughed almost manically as I said this. "Can't handle myself, Mom?" I swung around my bat in what I thought, proudly, was expertise. "Why don't you tell that to my deadly swinging weapon of doo – OW!"

I'd ended up hitting myself in the shoulder with it. Hard.

"Mother effing piece of…" Something sparkled in the corner of my eye. I raised an eyebrow.

"Huh?" I turned to it, discovering that it was, in fact, in the guy's man-purse. Whatever was inside gleamed happily at me as I leaned down to pick it up.

I examined it, taking in the tremendous amount of expensive-looking jewels engraved in the solid-gold wiring and plating of – whatever it was.

I held it delicately, but feared dropping it, so I tightened my grip a little.

It really was gorgeous.

"Tony… what do you think it is?"

The bird's head tilted a little as he pondered. Bracelet?

I tried it, but it just… no.

Looking glass?

I gave him a severe 'are-you-kidding?' face and turned back to my mirror.

Gently, oh so gently, I placed the – what I assumed was jewelry – on my head, thinking it looked really girly, but really good. "Whoa… it's so…"

"Alfred~! I'm ho~ome!"

I jumped at Mother's voice, placing the jewelry and the bag in a jar on the far-side of the room.

"M-Mom! Welcome home!"

She placed the things she gathered while out on the table, an eyebrow quirked and a smirk sent at me. "What were you doing?" Once my mouth opened to speak she continued. "Oh, never mind that. I have a big surprise!"

"Uhm, actually, I have one too –"

"I tell you, mine is even bigger!" Mom's strange accent made the sentence sound actually eerie in a way, but I tried to pay it no mind.

Under my breath, I stated, "I highly doubt that…"

She walked toward me, silver hair swishing at her hips as she sashayed over. Her hands landed on my shoulders. "I'm making those burger-things you love for dinner tonight! You're welcome!" She laughed, turning on her heel and pacing back to the table to unload her supplies. "It's my apology for the fight we had earlier…"

"Uh, yeah, about that…"

My mother visibly stiffed. "I hope you're not still going on about the stars, Alfred."

"Th-the, uh, floating lights," my palms began to sweat. This is harder than I thought it'd be…

I moved to the armoire. "And you may think I'm not strong enough to handle myself out there, but –"

"Oh, sweetheart, I know my baby is not strong enough to handle himself out there."

"But if you'd just let me –"

"Alfred. We are done with this conversation."

I sighed in frustration. "But, Mom, trust me! I know that –"

"Alfred."

"But Mom –"

"Alfred…"

"Oh, come on –"

"Enough with the lights already, you silly boy!"

I flinched.

"You. Are not. Leaving this tower EVER! NOT EVEN AFTER YOU DIE!"

I tried to blink back my tears, but considering how blurry my eyes had gotten, if I so much as blinked, rivulets would pour down my face.

My lip quivered and I looked away from my mother. I couldn't let her see that she hurt me; I'm a hero, and heroes don't cry.

"Tsk." She shook her head. "Fantastic. Now I'm the bad guy."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. That's really what you care about right now? Do you know what you just said to me? Do you know you practically crushed me?

I avoided looking at her as well as possible, my gaze sneaking over to the mural I painted above the fireplace.

Though slowly, and shakily, resolve came through me, and I felt my body move to stand in front of the cell of my prisoner.

"All I was going to say, Mother…" she stiffed once more, especially so since I almost never called her so formally. "Is that… I know what I want for my birthday now..!"

"And what is that?" Her voice was hard and cold.

I hesitated. "Some paint. The paint made from those pretty white shells you brought me once…"

"Well, Alfred, that trip is extremely long. We're talking three days!"

Her chilling, calculating, indigo-blue eyes stabbed into mine.

"I just… I just thought it was better than the…" I swallowed my pride for a moment. "… stars."

Her dark form stood, a hand coming to her head to brush back silver locks and to re-adjust her bow. She blew out a heavy sigh and walked over. Her hands again fell upon my shoulders.

"Are you sure you'll be alright on your own?"

Something warm – probably relief – raced through my veins, and I relaxed, knowing she'd be gone for three days. I fell into her, sighing. She wrapped her arms around my back.

"I know I'll be safe as long as I'm here, in my cozy tower."

She kissed my forehead.

My mother had left, we both exchanging our ritual goodbyes – her telling me how long she'd be gone, me saying I loved her, but how she loved me most. Then she was gone.

"Finally!" I rolled my eyes, running past a startled Tony. "You're gonna have to help me with this one, buddy!"

I swung a chair out from by the stairs, placing it in front of my makeshift prison. I moved to the right side of the furniture and gripped the handle. "Here we go…"

I tugged the handle and both doors swung open.

The shorter man fell out and onto the floor almost immediately, and his face landed with a satisfying splat on the floor. I had to hold back a snicker.

I gulped and treaded cautiously over to him, kicking his head lightly with my bare foot, my bat at my side.

He didn't so much as stir.

"Tony?"

The little grey bird flew obediently to my side and chirped.

"Could you get me a really long vine from the forest?" I threw him onto the chair I'd brought out. "If you're strong enough?"

The creature seemed to snort. Don't worry about me. Just make sure bushy here doesn't wake up.

And he left me to my own devices.

I stared at the man I now had in my custody, my chin resting in my open palms.

His head was bowed to his chest, having nothing to support it. I'd seen his large eyebrows and bright, blonde hair (brighter than my gold), but I hadn't actually gotten a good look at his face.

Curious now, I drew my bat and tip-toed to his front, placing my hands gently on each side of his face, fearful of my touch being too rough and waking him.

Lightly as possible, I lifted his head.

He had boyish features and a sharp chin, and his eyebrows were actually bushier than I'd thought. His gold lashes were long and plentiful, brushing at skin that was a clear, snowy ivory.

I blushed. "Whoa…"

Yeah, he's pretty.

I jumped, allowing the man's head to drop back down to his chest with a thud.

"T-Tony! Don't scare me like that!"

The bird's red eyes rolled. You were only startled because you were staring at him like a schoolboy with a huge crush.

I glared at him, though it obviously lacked intensity. "Was not! His face is admirable, I'll give him that, but he's not that pretty."

He seemed to scoff. Right. Anyway, I leaned your vine on the window sill. It was heavier than anticipated…

I sighed, patting him on the head. "Give yourself more credit. At least you got it over here. You're barely the size of my fist."

… But your hands are huge.

I paused.

"Still. You're freaking small."

I retrieved the vine and tied my victim with it tightly - around his arms, legs, and upper body – and grabbed the quite-a-few-feet that was left. Tony flew onto the guy's shoulder, and I mentally prepared my speech, nodding to the bird.

He pecked a closed eye with his sharp beak.

"BLOODY HELL, THAT HURT!"

Tony jumped and flew at me in a flash, planting himself on my shoulder and attempting to hide in my chin-length hair. I rolled my eyes.

"Wh-what the..? Are these… vines?"

I came into his field of vision, setting a harsh glare on his face (which was hard to do – he was so gorgeous, now that his vivid green eyes set his look) and patting my bat into my hand.

"Struggling's pointless," I pointed out, seeing the beginnings of him doing just that. "I wrapped you up nice and tight."

His gaze shot up to mine and, what was a stony, tough expression, melted into a soft awe.

"Who are you, and how did you find me?"

"I-I – uh –" He cleared his throat, bowing his head slightly but keeping eye contact. His eyes bore into mine, the expression in them arrogant and smug. "I know not how I came here, nor how I came to find you…"

His British accent nearly crumbled all of my resolve.

"But allow me to say that you are the most handsome man I have ever laid my eyes on."

Aw, crap. He was a player.

So much for that wet dream…

I gave him a 'you-must-be-joking'-type face.

"I am Arthur Kirkland, gentleman and thief-for-hire."

I scoffed at the contradiction, pointing my bat threateningly at his face, acting unfazed by his sly, sleazy expression. "Who else knows where my tower is, Kirkland?"

"Look, boy –"

"Alfred."

"Terribly sorry," he took in a big gasp of air. "I was running away from someone when I came across your tower. I came over, found the entrance and was cur –" His bright green eyes widened, and his head turned this way and that. "Where – what – " He looked up at me desperately.

"Where is my satchel?" He bit his lip.

I tried to ignore how irresistible that looked.

"I've hidden it. Somewhere you'll never hope of finding it."

I smiled smugly. Oh yeah. Who's the hero now?

"It's in that pot over there, isn't it?"

My eyes darted to him and I gave him the harshest glare I'd ever given anyone. "Way to spoil my fun!"

THWACK

While he was knocked out – again – I ran to the pot, grabbed its contents and –

What, you think I'd tell you where I put them? Pitiful.

I asked Tony to commit one more painful blow to the Kirkland's eye (which he said a hearty Hell yes to) and we positioned ourselves once more.

"OW! God damn it, boy!"

"ALFRED!"

The Brit gave me a hard stare.

"Anyway," I strode around his chair, never taking my eyes off of him. "Now it's hidden where you'll never find it."

The blonde man's stunning green orbs rolled upward dramatically.

"Now then." I put the bat to his Adam's apple, and those eyes became wide. "What do you want with me? To kidnap me? Sell me?"

He snorted. "For God's sakes, no! The only thing I want with you is for you to let me go and give me my bloody satchel!"

I paused, quirking an eyebrow at him. The bat hand faltered. "Wait. You don't want to kidnap me?"

"Of course not! Why in the world would I do something like that?" He huffed, looking me straight in the eye. "I ran away. I saw this tower. I found an entrance and came in. That's all."

I blinked at him. "Y-you're telling the truth?"

He seemed taken aback by the fact that I stuttered. "Yes."

Tony suddenly sprang from my shoulder and flew at light speed onto the Brit's nose, his expressive red eyes peering into the wide green of the other, studying.

The bird turned his head to me. Nope, doesn't seem he's lying.

My bat arm dropped to my side. "Oh."

The Kirkland stared at me. "Oh?"

I cocked my head at him. "Did you not hear what my partner just said? Confirmed. You're not lying."

He looked at me as if I had the plague.

It got on my nerves the longer he gave me the look. "What?"

"Are you saying… that bird can speak?"

"Yes. Rather clearly." A wry smile claimed my face. "Anyway, Kirkland – I am prepared to offer you a deal for your release."

He snorted. "A – a deal? Surely you're jo –"

"Look this way~" I roughly tugged the vine in the direction of the fireplace, but kicked his chair over just for good measure, knowing he'd be able to see my mural anyway.

"Do you know what those are?" I pointed to the mural with my bat, emphasizing that I did still have it and was prepared to use it.

He glared at me from the stony floor, half of his face smushed against it. "You mean the lanterns the King and Queen throw into the sky for the Prince?"

My interest piqued at that. "Lanterns… of course!" I chuckled at myself, the Kirkland giving me another look. I just rolled my eyes in reply. "Well, tomorrow night they're gonna throw the lanterns, and I need an escort." I raised my chin and pointed my stick of doom at him, trying to look intimidating. "You will be that escort. Take me there, get me back – without a scratch. That is the only way you're getting your man-purse –"

"Satchel."

"- back at all. Got it?"

He sighed in faux sadness, twisting himself so his chair would turn upright somewhat, putting him in a more comfortable position. "Yes, well, I'm afraid I can't. Unfortunately, the Kingdom and I aren't exactly 'simpatico'(1) at the moment, so…" he laughed a little, "I won't be taking you anywhere."

My face hardened at him, and I looked at Tony from the corner of my eye.

He nodded his head toward the other man and snapped his jaws.

I placed the swinging stick on the Brit's shoulder none-too-gently and leaned down to his level.

"Something brought you here, Kirkland. Call it what you will – fate, destiny –"

"A royally pissed off Prussian…"

"But I have decided to trust you."

"A right horrible decision, really."

I stomped my leg onto his thigh (uncomfortably close to his crotch) and leaned in extremely close to his face, our noses nearly touching, oceanic blues meeting with surprised, grassy greens.

"But you had better trust me when I tell you this:

You can tear my tower apart brick by brick, but without me, you will never find your precious, God-forsaken satchel. Capiche?"

He blinked as my eyes tore into his, a fair few emotions flickering through the toxic orbs before he spoke. "Alright. I take you to the lanterns, bring you home, and I get my satchel?"

"I swear to you as a hero."

There was a pause as his eyes scanned mine.

"Well. You obviously take this 'hero' stuff very seriously, but… I'm going to have to pull out my secret weapon." He took in a steadying breath. "Here comes… The Smolder."

He gave me the strangest, most sleazy, goofiest look I had ever seen in my entire life.

His huge eyebrows were raised high on his forehead, lips puckered, eyes somehow clouding with a bittersweet emotion that I didn't want to read for sake of my innocence…

I snorted, trying to contain my laughter.

'The Smolder' shattered into a million pieces, seemingly with the man's soul. "Fine, I'll take you to see the stupid lanterns..!"

"For real?" A wide grin spread across my face and I gave an uncharacteristic giggle, which he blushed to, eyes wide.

"Now… before I say anything else, would you mine stepping away from my thigh?"

"… Oh." I blinked and back away from him, leaning on the fireplace. "Sorry. Intimidation over."

He scanned my face, seeming to think over something.

"You know," he smirked. "That had to have been the sexiest show of dominance I have ever experienced."

My face went red hot and I waved my bat at him. "I still have the power here, y'know!"

I showed Alfred the way in and out of the tower – it seemed he'd never known about it before, which was strange. Did he never leave? And, if so, who was the one who did go to the outside, and where were they now?

The golden-haired boy lingered behind by quite a bit as I flopped the trap door at the end of the tunnel open. "Boy, what could you possibly be staring at?"

His eyes narrowed. "Alfred," he walked up through the door first as I allowed him. "And I was only wondering how that place was –"

He froze, one bare foot on the grass, one on the wooden steps.

"Al..?"

He suddenly tipped over, flipping onto his back as he fell onto the soft tufts of green.

"Ha ha! Oh my God, it's exactly as soft as I imagined it! And it tickles!" He rolled around quite a bit, seeming to enjoy the experience.

I was curious. It was only grass…

He abruptly stopped as he rolled into flowers, sniffing each and every different kind. "And the flowers smell awesome - !" He hugged his baseball bat to his chest, that little grey bird-thing flying about him and chirping happily.

It was rather adorable, actually.

The light breeze blew through his golden hair, and his eyes snapped open in astonishment. "Oh my gosh, that feels so nice~" A serene smile came over him and his eyes closed in bliss – until he turned himself over and his hand splashed in a tiny stream. He gasped.

"It's cold… and crisp!" His – surprisingly – tanned hand splashed around in the water, a child-like joy radiating from him and, as I watched, I couldn't help but find it breath taking.

A butterfly landed on his cheek, and his eyes roamed curiously toward it, his hand creeping up from the water –

"Aw, man!"

It fluttered out of his grasp but he didn't miss a beat, bolting up and chasing after it, giggling the whole way. "Christ, I'm running! It feels really good!"

I never thought I'd hear any person say that running felt good, but I supposed Alfred was just a little different from everyone else, what with the way he was taking just being outside.

He sped out of the clearing and into the forest.

I shook my head, chuckling, a happiness I rarely felt clutching my heart.

I heard the younger man shout, "My life has finally begun!" before I raced out to meet him.

A/N:

(1): 'Simpatico', I've discovered, actually means "likable and easy to get along with; compatible". So. XXDD

I am so unsatisfied with this chapter.

I hope you guys like it, though. ;A; I updated faster! :DD