Trigger Warning! [Attempted Rape]

Fíli groaned, waking up slowly. His head felt as if it was filled with cotton wool. A sharp pain sat behind his eyes and prevented him from opening his lids. His whole body felt heavy and immobile. For now he just concentrated on breathing deeply, hoping that it would chase away the pounding in his head and return the old clarity to his mind. This was the moment when he recognised the rough fabrics bounding his wrists and ankles.

Frightened, he opened his eyes, only to stare at the ceiling of a huge four-poster bed. The dark green curtains were drawn and denied him a view of the chamber he'd been brought to. But he could see a light through the coat of velvet, it was more than one source of light, candles or lanterns, maybe even an open fire. He wasn't able to listen to any kind of spitting of flames however, for the buzzing in his ears was far too loud.

Where his mind had not long ago felt like it was trapped in a heavy fog, it was suddenly wide awake. His unfamiliar surroundings and the last memories, before his awful awakening, pumped the blood in panic through his veins. He turned his head quickly, jerked with hands and feet, but it was in vain. The tight ropes fastened him nearly to immobility. An ice-cold shiver run down his spine as he realised that someone had undressed him completely.

Despairing, he ripped at his bonds more strongly. Unsuccessfully. By now his breath burned terribly in his chest, the fear compressing is lung like a vice. He couldn't breathe! He was going to choke! He needed to get out!

The ropes cut into his joints, while he reared up and grunted with exertion in the desperate attempt to free himself. The burning on his skin got worse with every heartbeat, but Fíli was willing to go on. He clenched his teeth until he could hear them grinding together, every muscle in his body was stretched to its breaking point. Only as a small trickle of blood ran down his arm he lowered himself back to the sheets.

It was no use… Alone as he was he couldn't win against the ropes.

Just when he'd accepted his hopeless case, he heard the door opening, soon followed by footsteps that aimed for the bed. With a jolt the curtain was drawn and Fíli got finally a view of the inside of the room. Bizarre, was the only word that came to his mind as he observed the chamber. Tapestries with his crest adorned the austerely, grey walls of stone. If it wasn't for the wall decoration the furniture, a the spitting image of his own, would let the chamber look as if he was at home, in his own room. Shivers run down Fíli's spine, while he observed the room through wide eyes.

Only when the dwarrowdam beside the bed started to giggle Fíli paid attention to her. She wore a pearly-white undergarment, a sharp contrast to her dark hair. He knew her from somewhere, that was for sure, but something caught his eye and kept him from thinking about where he'd already seen her. The piece of jewellery around her neck sparkled almost mockingly.

"You mugged my mother", slipped out of his mouth, his voice still throaty after awakening.

She cocked her head with a soft smile and eyed him with an expression that made his flesh crawl.

"I have done what?", she asked with a laugh. "Oh Fíli. You're so funny." She declined and caressed the mithril-medallion instead. "It's sitting well on me, isn't it?"

He pulled at his bonds, aware that it probably wouldn't be successful. As expected he couldn't win against the ropes, only another trickle of blood ran down his arm. The features of the dwarrowdam suddenly hardened and in a quick movement she leaned over him to grab his wrists. Tensing, Fíli stopped his attempts. He wasn't able to free himself and completely at her mercy! His heart fastened its beat fearfully. Faced with a situation like this all the tales about orcs, wargs and other creatures faded. Nothing was more terrifying than the woman that leaned over him, because he could only look on helplessly. If at least he'd a weapon… if he wasn't bound… if his heart wouldn't throb like it wanted to escape his chest. He was naked and couldn't do anything.

"Stop it", she demanded calmly, although Fíli had already given up on his pathetic attempts. "I'm not happy to see you like this, either. We have to bear it however, so we can finally face our future together."

Fíli frowned, there had to be too much panic in his mind to comprehend her words. Before he could bring himself to ask what she was talking about the door to the chamber opened once more and a dwarf was pushed inside. Fíli's eyes widened in horror. No other than Kíli fell to his hands and knees with a dull thud. His wrists were tightly bond as well, but at least he hadn't been undressed. Not a heartbeat later a dwarf appeared behind his brother, grabbed him brusquely by the hair and pulled him up with them. Fíli could hardly believe what he saw.

"Keep your hands off him!", he yelled in fury, while Kíli gave a groan under the harsh treatment.

Kíli's features lost their pained expression, his lids widening aghast when he detected Fíli on the bed. Furiously, he struggled against his tormentor, tried to get to the side of his older brother, but a violent jolt to his hair yanked him back.

"Fíli!", he cried. "What have you done to him? Untie him immediately!" No one did as he said, of course, instead Kíli received a kick in the kidneys.

Fíli hadn't the time to call his brother's name once more, because a cloth was shoved into his mouth. At first he thought he was going to choke on the unfamiliar fabric on his tongue that felt like it filled out his whole throat, until something in his mind forced him to breathe through the nose to get the much needed air. His chest raised and lowered quickly, his heart seemed to beat faster and faster.

"He regained consciousness much faster than expected", Torge noted, still fixing Kíli with a hand in his hair.

The dwarrowdam smiled. Amia! That was her name, Fíli suddenly remembered. Torges little sister, who'd loved to pick her big brother up after his training and had loved to watch them during their sessions as well. But her smile wasn't anymore that of a cheerful child, something else sat behind it, something Fíli wasn't able to explain under the terrible fear that held him captive.

"That's how I know my Fíli. So much stronger than the others", she purred, stroking his hair affectionately.

Fíli flinched from her touch, but couldn't escape her disgusting hands. With wide eyes and flared nostrils he followed every of her movements, terrified. Amia just smiled her gentle, nearly reprehending smile he already came to hate.

"You don't need to keep up this charade, my love", she whispered. "It's honourable that you want to maintain it. Your loyalty to your family is one of the many things I love you for. But it's time to let go."

"Keep your filthy hands off him!", he heard his brother's angry voice, followed by a smacking sound that silenced him.

Fíli wanted to turn his head, wanted to make sure that Kíli was all right, but Amia sat in front of him and blocked his view of the other happenings in the chamber.

"After this night we're finally going to convince your uncle and your mother. I know, the daughter of a baker isn't the match they expected for their golden heir, but as soon as I'm carrying your child, they have no choice but to give their blessings to our love", with a smooth motion she slipped onto his lap.

Frantically, Fíli tried to buck her off, the tight ropes however, located him to the bed. But he needed to get her off of him! Off! Off! Off! His helpless screams were nearly completely swallowed by the cloth in his mouth.

She smiled down at him. "Fíli, you can end this game", Amia repeated. "You don't want to disappoint your brother, I understand. But don't you realise that he's always sabotaged our relationship? You always had to spent time with him, time the both of us could've used so much better. Today he will see how much you love me and after that he can disappear, so we can finally be together. He will go with the knowledge that you have found love. He will go with the knowledge that you're happy."

Fíli gasped for breath and tugged again and again at the ropes, it was in vain. Amia wasn't even bothered by it, when she laid her head on his chest.

"Mhh", she hummed. "You're as excited as I am", she laughed. She laughed! Oh, Mahal! Why didn't he found the strength to free himself? This couldn't be happening! There had to be something he could do! But except for his fruitless escape attempt he wasn't able to think of anything. His mind was frighteningly empty, only populated by a fear he'd never felt before. He was helpless, he couldn't escape. She would rape him and kill his brother afterwards!

It started with a kiss to the cheek that made Fíli shudder with fright. Her fingers gently caressed his chest. Every single one of her touches left an uncomfortable prickling on his skin, it was going to remind him for a long time where she'd touched him. Fíli could barely breathe, the deafening panic in his mind felt like it cramped his lung. Amia just continued, kissing the corners of his mouth, perhaps because more was prevent by the cloth in his mouth, from his chin she worked down his neck, while her fingers rubbed his nipples demandingly.

By now Fíli's body was shaking in despair and under a terrible wave of horror he realised that his body was responding to her touches. It didn't matter how much he loathed her or that he was inwardly begging to every Valar he knew to safe him, his body worked against him.

Black spots darted before his eyes from the lack of oxygen his frantic breathing had provoked. The buzzing in his ears was so loud that it swallowed any other noises and for a split second he wondered if it wouldn't be better to lose consciousness all together to spare him from feeling what was inevitable.

And then, from one moment to another, the weight of the dwarrowdam was gone. Fíli breath was still too fast, his heart hammering painfully inside his chest. He couldn't force himself to become calm again. What would she do next? Was this a trick? What a cruel joke to allow him to be lulled into a false sense of security only to reappear the next moment to finish, what she'd began. But the more seconds passed, the more of his sense returned to him. He heard a faint shuffle of boots, the rustling of clothes interspersed with heavy breathing. It nearly sounded like a fight. He wanted to turn his head, to see what was going on, but his body refused, grasped too tightly by the fear that felt like it was holding him captive for hours already, although it must've been mere minutes. Shudder after shudder rocked his body, while tears blurred his vision. He pressed his lids shut immediately to hold them back and gasped for air. Breathing got easier again, he would lose his mind however, if he couldn't free himself soon! With a frantic groan Fíli gave the ropes an unsuccessful tug once more.

"Fíli!", his name was suddenly called. Startled he flinched from the presence near him, he didn't even need to see it to know that a person was there. It took what felt like an eternity until he realised, that he'd heard neither Torges nor Amias voice.

Opening his lids in an instant, his eyes went wide meeting the most wonderful sight he ever pictured. Kíli leaned over him with a concerned expression.

"Mahal, Fíli", his brother breathed, he was shaking. Awkwardly he removed the cloth from Fíli's mouth with his own still bound hands. Fíli didn't know how Kíli had been able to free himself, it didn't really matter anyway. It was only important that Kíli had succeeded.

Fíli coughed the moment he got rid of the cloth. "Everything is going to be all right, Fíli. I'm going to untie you in a bit. Everything is going to be fine", he spouted worriedly. "I have to leave, just for a moment. I need something to cut the ropes with. I won't be gone for long, I promise. I will be right back to help you. I promise. Everything is going to be all right, I'm untying you in a moment", Kíli's obvious panic, that seemed to be as intense as his own, clarified his thoughts. It had to be an automatic reflex, whenever his brother wasn't well Fíli tried to calm and reassure him, just like now.

Using all of his self-control he breathed deeply. "Go, I'm all right", he reassured Kíli. Nodding, his brother bustled off.

You are all right. You are all right. You are all right, he persuaded himself again and again. Kíli's fear was more important and in the end, nothing had happened to him, thanks to his little brother. Despite himself repeating all these thoughts in his head, he was still shaking and couldn't bring his body to stop.

Kíli returned after a little while with untied hands and armed with a kitchen knife. Immediately he started to cut the ropes and Fíli sat up with a relived sigh, his breathing became calmer as well, the too fast heartbeat and the trembling of his limbs, however, stayed. His arms and legs felt numb, when he left the bed. Hurriedly he brought a great distance between himself and the green sheets. Kíli was instantly at his side, slipped off his coat and handed it to Fíli. Grateful, he slipped in.

Only then he dared to eye his surroundings, but he was only able to catch a glimpse, for Kíli dragged him outside. Still he was able to see that the medallion wasn't around Amia's neck anymore – Kíli must've taken it – instead strangulation marks covered her throat, looking just like the ropes had caused them they'd been bound with. It told him how Kíli had saved him.

"Kíli, wait", he stopped the younger after leaving the house of the siblings.

The other dwarf turned around worriedly, Fíli couldn't tell what his brother was expecting to cause such an expression, but it didn't matter, for he had a different concern. Standing beside Kíli, he pushed his brother's hair to all sideswith nervous hands.

"Fíli?"

He might've only caught a glimpse at Torge, but he'd spotted the tuft of dark hair in his clenched hand right away. Kíli must've seen no other choice, but to tear away from Torge, regardless of how much it would hurt him. It didn't matter if he'd knocked Torge down or had strangled him like Amia. He just hoped it hadn't caused an injury. After all, it would be Fíli's fault. The poisoning, the assault on his mother, their kidnapping and now perhaps even Kíli's head wound. If he should be the reason his brother was hurting, he would never forgive himself.

"Fíli."

And then he found it, a big, nearly star-shaped, bald spot. Fíli gasped, his hard still pounding much too fast, the nausea had returned to his stomach as well. He did this. How agonizingly it must've been for him to break free and only for Fíli's sake. He was responsible. Of course, the wound did not bleed, but his brother's head must hurt so bad, that it was astonishing how well the younger could control his features. What had he done?

"Oh, Mahal", he breathed in shock. "How are you feeling? Are you all right? You should go to Óin. Who knows, what this did to your head. This can't be good, not at all. Oh… oh… I'm so sorry, Kíli, this shouldn't have been-"

"Fíli!", his brother suddenly snapped at him, which caused Fíli to give a wince of fright.

Swallowing hard, Fíli dared only slowly to meet Kíli's eyes.

"How I am feeling?", Kíli asked aghast. "Fíli, how are you?"

"What about me?", he pressed uncomprehendingly, before a violent shudder chased through his body.

Disbelieving, Kíli blinked.

"Fíli… she almost raped you", he whispered troubled.

Fíli inhaled sharply. To hear it being said so unadorned felt like a slap. Something in him had tried desperately to suppress the knowledge, despite the horrifying moments he just had to go through. Kíli's words however, had mercilessly brought him back to reality, in which he now, despite the coat, felt terribly exposed. The shaking in his limbs got worse with every heartbeat. She would've… within a hair's breadth… if it hadn't been for Kíli…

And all at once Kíli's arms were there. They embraced him so tightly that it nearly took Fíli's breath away. He'd never thought possible to feel so much gratitude for a simple hug, but this was exactly what he felt. It calmed his heartbeat and soothed the trembling in his body. Exhausted he leaned his brow against Kíli's shoulder and savoured the tight embrace for a while that radiated so many things: warmth, comfort, but above all safety. He was thankful for Kíli, thankful for his mother and Thorin, because his family gave him a feeling of security he felt nowhere else.

He closed his lids tiredly. The halls were deserted, through Fíli couldn't tell what times it was and Kíli must've lost track of time, too. But it was late at night, this much was obvious, otherwise the voices of countless dwarves would echo from the walls.

"I'm so sorry, Kíli", Fíli mumbled feebly.

They stayed as they were, although he could hear how his brother held his breath.

"By Mahal! What are you apologising for?", he asked, sounding completely confused.

"This is all my fault, if it wasn't for me nothing would've-"

"Stop it, right now!", Kíli interrupted him with a snarl. "It's not your fault that she chose you as her victim. It's not your fault, that she is mad", Kíli tried to reason.

Reluctantly, he nodded. Of course, Kíli was right, at the same time it didn't help to get rid of the nagging feeling inside him and he knew that it would take a long time until it finally happened. When he thought of all the pain his family had to endure in the last month the little voice in his head would remember him that it was he who'd attracted her. It had been him and no one else.

"Come, let's bring you home", Kíli said as the brothers broke their embrace. Fíli was thankful that nothing had changed and Kíli was still at his side. His body was even now on alert, but Kíli's presence dispelled some of the tension he still felt.

When Kíli led Fíli to his own room with a strange expression in his eyes that worried Fíli, he didn't protest. Perhaps it was childish, perhaps it was a normal reaction after what had happened, but he too feared to be left alone now. Even though Kíli had to leave for a little while, it was his familiar scent sticking to the whole chamber that calmed Fíli. Meanwhile his little brother informed Thorin of their knowledge, thankfully keeping a secret what Amia had almost done. Fíli would need a couple of weeks to feel ready, and until the nightmares faded, before he was going to tell Dís and Thorin of the happenings of this night. So Kíli strained the truth, as he told Fíli later. Instead he said that Torge confessed his guilt under the influence of alcohol. The former puzzle was now pieced together to a clear picture. Torge was the apprentice of a healer and knew the effects of all kinds of plants, including rhododendron. Dís' medallion convicted the siblings as well. Fíli didn't care what Thorin arranged as a result, it was enough to know that he was never going see Torge and Amia again.

"Move over, I'm not going to sleep on the floor", Kíli said as he returned to the chamber.

Fíli followed the instructions with a small smile, glad that his brother didn't treat him like a fragile being. For a while they just laid side by side in the darkness without saying a word, eventually Kíli took a deep sigh.

"I wonder if that's how the dragon sickness looks", he whispered to his brother and the quietness of the chamber.

Fíli frowned.

"Why are you thinking this?"

A soft tug at his hair was the answer. "Not all treasures are gold."

Normally such sentimental words would've made him snort, but not this time. Not after Kíli had saved his life, accepting to get hurt in the process. Not when there was so much truth in his words. His family was a greater treasure than any pile of gold inside Erebor. They proved it to him anytime, like Kíli in the same night, when he calmed him after Fíli awoke from a nightmare.

Manni: Dankeschön, ich mache das ja hauptsächlich um mein Englisch ein bisschen zu üben und da freut es mich sehr, wenn einem nicht ständig irgendwelche Fehler ins Auge springen, besonders da ich die Sprache auch nicht so gut beherrsche, wie ich es gerne würde. :)

Thanks for reading!