AN: I actually have to do this sometimes. I sometimes do think I am a female Shikamaru. Anyway…kind of long and boring probably should have split it up. Never mind. The first bit may seem pointless now but it will be very important in later chapters. Note that she isn't tying her hair up any longer. That is really important. It's Tsunade's birthday now. The fun begins… for her. Disclaimer still applies.

1795 words in this chapter

Missing in Action

Chapter six- Clock times given to idiots

Ino spent all night tossing and turning. Knowing what she had to do today gave her no rest, though the real reason that she lost sleep was what she didn't know.

She seriously doubted that what Sakura had said yesterday was true. It couldn't be that she would be paired with a member of her team, as none of them were available. Chouji was still in hospital while his palm healed, to ensure that it wouldn't get infected (which with Chouji would be a distinct possibility). Shikamaru had told her last night that he was going on a mission tomorrow, using it as an excuse not to come to the monthly Ino-Shika-Cho reunion meal.

Ino had not been as lucky as this month's get together had been placed at the Yamanaka residence so there was no way she could avoid it. After an hour long argument with her father, she had finally given in on the grounds that, it may distract her from her thoughts.

So she sat with the three families, without the presence of her team mates, listening to them talk on about their time as team mates, not to mention questioning her. It was a kind of game that the parents of team 10 had started up a long time ago, to find out the most embarrassing facts about their children, for use in chore blackmail.

Ino had never felt so alone. Although she had had to face them alone before, for some reason the questions she had faced seemed to strike deeper than before. She knew fine well that her father intended to marry her to either Shikamaru or Chouji, despite her objections, but she never even thought of it seriously.

When Sakura suggested that she might have to… well that put thoughts into her head that she never expected or wanted to be there. It was too much.

Damn you Tsunade-sama was all she could think of when she remembered everything that had happened yesterday, and then what she had to do today.

She still didn't really know what it was she would have to do, and that was the worst part. Sure, she wasn't exactly virginal in any of these matters, but this time it would be her trying to go after someone, rather than the other way around. She was used to men falling all over her, so the last time she really attempted to flirt with someone who didn't respond the exact way she wanted was Sasuke… and that had ended badly.

She dreaded what she would be faced with today. Would he be ugly? Cold? Messy? Brutal? It was a fair bet that he would be smart, probably a jonin of high rank. ANBU? There was so much she didn't know, so much she was un-prepared for.

She turned and glanced at her clock. It was 8 already. She had lost track of time while fretting over the details of her task.

She quickly got up, showered and grabbed her bag that she had packed the night before. There was no time for anything else, and she usually skipped breakfast so there was no major loss there. She had thrown on her usual mini-skirt and halter-neck combo, leaving her jonin vest alone but tying her forehead protector around her tiny waist (she never wore the vest because she thought it made her look fat). It was a "mission" after all.

When she got to Tsunade's office, she was out of breath from rushing around and collapsed into one of the chairs outside, next to Sakura. She looked over to Sakura and noticed that she didn't look nearly as tired. She was dressed in her chunin vest over a light vest-top and long, black sweatpants (she had never had enough time to progress to jonin level). She had her hair tied up with an elastic band and her forehead protector lined up square onto her forehead. She looked so professional in comparison

"How the hell did you sleep last night? I'm completely shattered." Ino moaned at her friend.

Sakura turned her head around to face her like she was the dimmest creature alive. "I'm a medic-nin remember. I'm an expert at sending people asleep, myself included"

"Well I see you aren't going to make an effort for him. If anything, I think you're wearing more clothes than you usually do"

"I'm not a slut Ino-pig" Sakura took an amused glance at Ino's barely existent outfit. "This is a mission"

"Yeah… but we aren't exactly hunting rogues, are we? At least I hope not"

"Still. I try to be at least slightly professional."

Ino was about to object when Shizune walked out and beckoned them over her shoulder as she stomped off down the corridor "go in."

She was in a worse mood than yesterday. The two kunoichi made their way cautiously into the office and stood in the middle of the room, waiting for orders.

Tsunade glanced up and frowned. "She's gone, hasn't she?"

Sakura gave her a brief smile "Yes Tsunade-sama."

"Damn it. I'll be back in a minute. Sit down for a while." With that she stood up and left them alone in the room.

Ino glanced up at the clocks in her office, noting that there were two; one set a half hour behind the other. The top clock showed the time to be 9:05. The bottom clock showed it to be 8:35. She leant forward to read the written label above the second clock.

Clock for times given to idiots. (Nara, Hatake, Uzumaki)

She let out a quick giggle at Tsunade's initiative. She had done the exact same thing with a clock in her own house, knowing that Shikamaru was useless at keeping his attention span running for long enough to do anything useful with that massive brain of his. Apparently, turning up on time was too troublesome.

Sakura gave her an odd look and she pointed out what she had been laughing about. Sakura glanced over and smiled. "Yeah, she put that in a few years ago. I think Kakashi-sensei figured it out though so he still turns up late. It only gets her angry now. That clock has been thrown across the room more times than she's lost a bet, which is a lot."

"Why is Naruto's name up there? He doesn't turn up late, does he? I thought he was much too eager to impress the Hokage."

"Oh, well… no. he doesn't turn up late, but it does take Tsunade-sama twice as long to explain missions and things to him, so she gets him to come earlier."

"Makes sense." Ino sat down on one of the chairs, combing through her still slightly damp hair with her fingers. "Any more ideas yet?" she asked Sakura.

Sakura sat down next to her "I've been trying not to think about it. I can't think of a plan without knowing who I'm dealing with and so far that has been fruitless so…"

"Well I've been doing some prying" Ino smirked proudly "and I know for a fact that you were wrong yesterday because there was only one member of my team left and that was Shika. Anyway, I was talking to him last night and Shikamaru is-"

"Late!" Tsunade called as she bounded back into the office "both of them, as usual. I just sent some chunins to check and they are both still in bed!"

She sat down at her desk as they simply stared back in shock as she tried to calm herself down. "I'm sorry girls. I promise you won't have to wait much longer. Not after my death threats. You'd think even with extra time allowed the miserable sons of bitches could bother to make an effort but no. obviously the male species isn't that advanced yet."

Ino's proud smile was wiped off her face as the Hokage's words sunk in properly. "You mean…Shikamaru…?"

Sakura gulped, remembering the other name on the clock, and finished in a week voice "and Kakashi…?"

"What?" Tsunade smiled "you mean you didn't figure it out? I must say I'm slightly disappointed. My two favorite young kunoichi couldn't figure out something basic like that?"

Sakura barely heard her as her inner voice screamed out so loud it was deafening to her other senses "Kakashi!!! That's so sick! There is no way we are flirting with our sensei! Tell her! Pull out now! Oh Kami. We are going to be mentally scarred if we go ahead with this. Like, Sasuke scarred. The man's a complete pervert!"

"But he's my sensei" Sakura said out loud, voice cracking in fear.

"Ex-sensei Sakura. He's just a team-mate now." Tsunade corrected her "But… if you feel too uncomfortable, that'll still show me your skill level. I told you it wouldn't be easy for either of you"

"What do you mean, for either of us? Ino and Shikamaru are practically married already"

"By force forehead-girl. It's not like we're attracted to each other. Plus, he's got a 200+ IQ remember. Do you really think it's going to be easy for me to out maneuver him?" Ino sulked

"But at least you've spent time with him. You know, personally. I know some of Kakashi's jutsu, and that he's obsessed with those porn books, nothing else."

"Hold on, back up a second. What do you mean, personally? You make it sound like we feel each other up or something"

"No. I just meant…" oh Kami. Sudden thought. Skin to skin contact. Skin to skin contact with Kakashi-sensei. "Ewwwwwwww!!! Make it go away!" "I feel sick"

"You can still drop out Sakura. " Tsunade told her sympathetically "I'm sure he'll appreciate the extra time in bed"

Oh no. what would he think of me? I've always been the failure in my team. I can't drop out now. Without looking at the others in the room she sighed "No. I will do this." "What!!! Don't be stupid!!" "For Konoha's sake."

"Good girl." Tsunade smirked before turning to Ino "What about you Ino?"

"I won't let Sakura beat me in this." She nodded "just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"No-one finds out about this, especially anyone by the name of Nara, Yamanaka or Akimichi."

"I think that's fair. I mean, you wouldn't want wedding bells going before you'd even finished the mission"

"So what is it we need to find out from them Tsunade-sama?" Sakura brought the Hokage out of her day-dream.

"You'll need to figure that out yourself. Trust me; you'll know when you figure it out. You ready?"

Both kunoichi nodded reluctantly in reply.

"Right… they're here now. Have fun!" then she brought her hands together in a number of different positions before their vision of her blurred and they fell into darkness.