Secret Life: If Amy had the Abortion (part 5)

After Ben left I took a pill from the bottle Ashley gave me, and called the OBGYN. I asked if she was free anytime today and she said her lunch break was in an hour. I told her I'd be there, forgetting that I don't have a car. After the conversation I thought about who I knew with a car. Ricky, Ben, Lauren's brother, and Adrian. After yesterday's events there was no way I was going to ask Rick for a ride, I just sent Ben away and he's already done too much for me, and Lauren's parents wouldn't let either of them ever drive me anywhere anyway. So that just left Adrian. I dialed her number from my contacts, using he dial tone to even my breathing.

Adrian: Hello?

Me: Hey, Adrian. It's Amy. Although you probably knew that, caller id. Well anyways, I kinda need a ride.

Adrian: What am I, your taxi driver?

Me: Please? I need to talk to the OBGYN. My mom doesn't know about the a-b-o-r-t-i-o-n and I want to see the doctor first. I would walk but apparently i am supposed to be resting after the... procedure.

Adrian: Fine, what time?

Me: I have to be there in like an hour.

Adrian: Consider it done. I'm on my way. Put some clothes on, I want to grab a bite to eat.

Me: Sure, thanks. I'll see you in a bit.

Adrian: K bye.

Me: Bye

*click*

I put on some jeans and a shirt and waited for Adrian to come. After few minutes the doorbell rang.

"Wow, that was -." I said as I opened the door. It wasn't Adrian. It was Ricky.

"Hey Amy, mind if I come in?" He looked apologetic, but I knew the mask. I was instantly furious.

"Yes, I do. Ricky what the hell were you thinking, kissing me?" I shouted at him. He put his hands in his pockets.

"I wasn't thinking okay. Except how much I like you and how if you hadn't gotten pregnant than I wouldn't even have remembered the night we had and it sickened me. I like you Amy, I like you a lot. I'm sorry for trying to kiss you. You're Ben's girl and that was wrong. Maybe though, someday in the future, if you're not with Ben we can see each other." He said it like it made perfect sense, like it was a sure thing. But I saw through his lies, I knew what happened last time I fell for it.

"I highly doubt all that. But you are right about two things, you hardly remembered us having sex, and I am with Ben now. So just leave okay. I have a doctor's appointment to go to anyways and it's soon."

"A doctor's appointment? I could take you. I have my car. I mean, it's the least you could do after killing our child." My vision ran red, adrenaline flowed through my veins I was so angry. My mind flashed images of injuring him, screaming at him and even spitting on him, but I just shut the door and clicked the lock. I don't know how long I sat there crying. When I first saw Ricky I would've done anything just to talk to him, and now the thought of him sickened me. After knowing who he really was I could never be with him. After a while a knock sounded at the door.

"Go away Ricky!" I shouted through tears.

"It's me Adrian, don't you want to go eat?" She sounded bored and confused. I wiped my face sloppily with my sleeve and answered the door Adrian was outside she saw my face and looked worried.

"Why did you think Ricky was here?"

"Ricky, he came and tried to apologize. I just. I CAN'T TAKE IT!" I was screaming now. Ricky's face brought memories of my baby. The baby that would never grow up because I killed it. I was a monster what was wrong with me.

"Calm down and come inside." She shoved me back inside and shut the door. By then I was hysterical. I remember feeling the sting of a slap on my face but I don't remember anything else except tears and more screaming. After a while I felt arms around me and it took time for me to realize it was Ben.

Adrian must have called him. For a second I was angry but then I realized it was okay. Ben made everything better. He was the only good thing in my life right now. He was whispering to me sweet things and compliments, reassuring me on how everything was alright, but I knew it was a lie. Nothing would be okay ever again and that was my fault. When I told them what Ricky had said, they were both shocked but didn't say anything. Adrian looked pissed and Ben's knuckles turned white from how hard he was clenching his fists.

When I finally calmed down Adrian helped me fix my makeup and we went to the OBGYN. The doctor was nice and when I explained to her my situation she didn't seemed that shocked.

"Well, I understand your situation, but why are you telling me this?" I gulped and searched Ben's face as if looking for answers. He spoke.

"We were hoping you could help us. You see, Amy's mother doesn't know she had an abortion." I winced at the term. Did Ben have to be so blunt? He knew what the word did to me, what memories it brought up. I didn't know if I'd be okay ever again because of it. At the very least the doctor didn't start yelling but, I didn't seem that convinced that she would do it. She explained that lying was wrong and that I should tell my mother the truth. Ben finally managed to convince her to help us, pointing out that as teenagers we couldn't raise children and therefore our decision had been just. She agreed to help. Now, tomorrow she will assure my mom I'm pregnant, and later she will help me fake a miscarriage. Then we thanked her and left. Ben stayed with me for a couple hours but Adrian and went back to school. All he did was hold me in a warm embrace, he didn't try to kiss me or anything, and he was just there for me.

That's one of the things that I love about him, he knows there's a time and place for everything. While having Ben there didn't make me happy it at least kept me from breaking down again. I decided right then and there that I would never see Ricky again if I could avoid it. It would just cause problems and make moving on worse. Seeing Ricky would not help ever anyways, he just came with so much drama. Besides, I was in love with Ben, and for right now that was enough to make life worth living.