Total Drama Bonanza

A Total DramaFanfiction by StoryCrafter12

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fanfiction. Total Drama and all of its characters are property of Teletoon and Fresh TV. Please support the official release.

Warning: This story is rated T for teen. It contains mild danger, language, brief nudity, and some crude humor and sexual elements. To be fair, though, these are teenagers I'm writing about.

Author's Note: Chapter four has arrived, bringing with it the start of day two and the truth or dare challenge! Sorry for the wait, but I had to take a short break after churning out that mammoth of a third chapter. And now this story has crappy cover art courtesy of myself, demonstrating why I should never be allowed to make cover art, ever.

Have fun!

"Last time on Total Drama Bonanza…

"For our fourth season, we returned to the place where our series was born, the legendary Camp Wawanakwa! We brought twenty-six brand new campers to experience all of the joys the island has to offer, from the collapsing Dock of Shame to the crappy sleeping quarters to Chef Hatchet's gross grub! To our surprise though, the campers decided they'd rather forage for their own food rather than try and keep Chef's slop down. Makes me wonder why the first generation didn't try that… Oh well.

"After lunch, the campers competed in their first challenge, which required them to build devices to launch themselves off the thousand-foot cliff onto targets below. The Wild Wolves worked well with one another, while the Extreme Eagles were a manic mob of miserable morons! Several people dropped the ball on the Eagles, but the crowning moment of idiocracy goes to pageant queen Sugar, whose inability to follow the most basic instructions caused Max's rocket ship to go out of control, losing the game for her team and earning her a one-way trip on the Boat of Losers out of here!

"What further drama awaits us on a brand new season with this brand new cast? Will any friendships blossom into romance? How vindictive and crafty will the villains be this time around? And the biggest question: which lucky teen will walk away from it all with one million dollars?

"Find out right now on Total! Drama! Bonanza!"

Day Two, Part One: Dare to be Stupid

It was morning on the second day of Total Drama Bonanza. The sun had just started to rise in the east, dyeing the sky in brilliant shades of orange and red that pushed away the last traces of night, only a few of the brightest stars and the ghost of a waxing crescent moon still visible. A light mist had settled over Camp Wawanakwa and the surrounding lake, leaving the whole island in an ethereal, dreamlike state. All was silent, save for the gentle singing of early-rising birds and the chirping of nocturnal insects and animals as they settled down for the day.

Sky took in all of this as she jogged around the campground, her legs pumping and her breathing steady, goosebumps prickling her skin as she ran through the cool fog. As a rule, Sky had never been one of those athletes to get up at the crack of dawn to train, but she made an exception today since she didn't know when Chris would spring the next challenge on them or how long it would last. Running always cleared her head and helped her think, and Sky had a lot to think about.

Admittedly, her confrontation of Jo, Anne Maria and Max last night after the elimination ceremony hadn't gone quite as planned. The idea had been for Sky to make sure the three of them understood how badly their actions had damaged the team before choosing a leader right then and there, then making sure the other two agreed that a team captain had been picked and they'd just have to deal with it and work together or else face elimination.

The curveball had come when that Cameron kid had suggested Sky become leader instead, which had stunned the athletic girl so much that she couldn't bring herself to object before half the team had voted for her. It wasn't that Sky didn't have experience leading – she was captain of her school's gymnastics team back home. But she'd known and formed a bond with those girls for a long time, and didn't become leader of the team in less than a day like she had here. It was all happening a little too fast for Sky's comfort, but like it or not she was head of the Extreme Eagles now, and had promised to do her best to lead them to victory.

The athletic teen vaulted over the tree stumps where her team had sat last night as she ran through the bonfire area, and her thoughts wondered towards the people she was now in charge of. Out of all of them, Jo seemed to be the one Sky had the most in common with: both were tough, sporty, take-no-nonsense women who were determined to win. Jo's biggest problem was her absolute unwillingness to compromise and take orders from others. Now that Sky was in charge though and Jo had admitted she had been in the wrong, maybe she would soften up a bit and hopefully not a hold a grudge. Hopefully.

Anne Maria and Dakota were a mixed bag, Sky decided. The former was almost as stubborn as Jo, the latter a vapid attention hog, and both were a little too girly for Sky's tastes. But they both seemed nice enough under rough exteriors, and hopefully Dakota would be able to keep Anne Maria out of trouble. As for the final girl on their team, Scarlett was clearly the most intelligent out of all of them, but her quiet demeanor made it hard for Sky to get a bead on her personality.

As for the guys of the Extreme Eagles, Sky wasn't sure what to make of most of them. Dave, Mike and Scott were fairly average, with no major good or bad traits to speak of. Rodney seemed like an okay guy, even if his "falling in love" with Anne Maria after knowing her for less than a day was a tad creepy. Beardo and Max were… interesting, to say the least.

And then there was Cameron, the camper whom Sky was the most conflicted about. On the one hand, he was easily one of the nicest people Sky had interacted with during her short time at Camp Wawanakwa. His enthusiasm for being there and making new friends was infectious, not to mention he had been the one to step up during yesterday's clash and diffuse a situation that could have turned very violent, very fast.

On the other hand, he was physically the weakest member of their team, probably the weakest out of the entire cast. And while he was as smart as, or perhaps even smarter than Scarlett, she had least handled herself well enough during Chef's barrage in the last challenge while he… didn't. Given how most of Total Drama's challenges had major physical aspects to them, Sky wasn't sure how well Cameron's brains would really come in handy. As much as Sky hated to admit it, keeping Cameron on might drag down the whole team.

Oh, but voting off Cameron would be like drop-kicking a puppy… She found herself thinking, before shaking her head. Gah, don't start going soft, Sky! Remember, the Eagles are counting on you to do what's best for the team. Besides, you're here to win a million dollars, not make friends. Sooner or later, they're all going to lose to you, whether you like them or not. You're here to win.

Sky repeated that mantra to herself as she completed her jog, ending at the Extreme Eagles' cabin just as the sun finished rising. She was surprised to find Jo standing on the front porch, leaning forward to touch her toes, a towel and water bottle beside her.

"Jo?" Sky asked, and the female jock stood up, startled.

"Sky?" Jo blinked, taking in the thin sheen of sweat on Sky's skin, as well as her disheveled hair and faint flush on her cheeks. Jo smirked and offered her water bottle. "I was wondering where you had gotten off to. Damn, I thought I got up early for my morning jog."

"Oh, I'm normally not up this early," Sky explained, pausing to accept the bottle and take several big gulps. "I wanted to clear my head after all that happened yesterday, you know?"

"Yeah, that was one hell of a first day," Jo agreed, now offering her towel. Sky took it and patted down her face, before glancing through the cabin's windows and seeing empty beds.

"Everyone else is up too?" She asked, returning the cloth.

"Yeah, they went to go forage for breakfast." Jo threw the towel around her neck. "I asked Beard Boy to save some for us while I did my morning routine and you were off jogging. They couldn't have gone far if you wanna catch up with 'em."

Sky thought about it for a moment, then shook her head. "I will in a bit. Right now I really need to shower. Have fun on your run."

"Thanks, captain," Jo said, smirking at Sky's blush before hopping off the porch and taking off in a sprint.

Confessional Cam: All the cool people jog before the sun is up.

Jo: "Okay, so I'm not crazy about Sky being in charge of the team, but when you think about it, this works in my favor. Either she'll do a good job and I can get buddy-buddy with the captain, or she'll crash and burn and I'll step up to lead after she gets voted off. It's a win-win situation for me."

Sky: "Ugh, I haven't even led our team in a challenge yet and the stress is already getting to me. I've got to stay focused. Remember Sky, you're here to win."

Eight of the Extreme Eagles trudged through the wilderness, morning sunlight streaming through the forest canopy. Birds were chirping happily, a sharp contrast to the dejected mood of the teenagers.

"Ugh, I can't believe I'm stuck hunting for my own breakfast," Dakota said as she applied her lip-gloss. "I feel like… like a poor person!"

"Most people in this part of the world living in poverty don't hunt for their own food, Dakota," Scarlett clarified, leaning down to gather blackberries from a bush. "This is merely a necessity for surviving on this island if we don't win any challenges."

"Well, we're gonna have to fix that," Anne Maria said, crossing her arm as she sat on a stump. "This whole 'living off the land' business is really hard!"

Scott, who had plucked and taken a bite of a bright red apple, rolled his eyes as he chewed and swallowed. "How hard is it to have Rodney gather your food for you?"

"Oh, having him get the food isn't hard. The hard part is eating nothing but fruit and leaves. I need some variety in my diet over here!"

Dave, who had been meticulously polishing each apple he picked with a cloth, spoke up. "Speaking of which, where is Rodney?" He asked. "He's been gone a really long time now."

As if on cue, a soaking-wet Rodney emerged from the brush, his skin covered in swollen red bumps. He dropped down on one knee and offered a handful of blueberries to Anne Maria.

"Here you are, my love," he said, head bowed as the New Jersey girl took some of the berries and plopped them in her mouth. "Sorry it took so long, but I accidently disturbed a wasp's nest and had to hide in the creek until they went away."

Beardo made the sound of a swarm of buzzing wasps as Anne Maria finished the last of the berries.

"Thanks, Country Boy," she said, not even looking at Rodney. "Mind finding me some raspberries now?"

"Anything for my lady!" Rodney declared, darting back into the woods in a heartbeat.

Anne Maria smirked and wiped the blueberry juice from her chin, until she noticed the others staring at her. "What?"

"Uh, don't you feel even a little bad about using Rodney's affections to turn him into your man-servant?" Mike asked with a raised brow.

"Hey, I ain't making him do nothing. Not my fault he's willing to do what it takes to get a piece of this action." Anne Maria gave a flirtatious smile and gestured to her curvy body, followed by a decidedly unfeminine belch.

"Yeah, you're such a catch," Scott said, tossing his finished apple core over his shoulder. He looked around and frowned. "Hey, anybody seen the 'evil genius'?"

The rest of the team glanced around them. Sure enough, the group was short one purple-haired megalomaniac.

"Hey yeah, where is Max?" Cameron asked, scratching his head.

"He was with us when he left earlier," Scarlett observed. "Where could he have gone off too?"

"Did somebody say 'evil'?!"

The teens cried out as Max seemingly fell from the sky, landing in the middle of the group. The boy then bounced in place, getting less and less height each time until he finally came to rest. He took in his team's bewildered stares and smirked.

"Sorry I'm late, minions," he said, "I was just up at the junk pile from yesterday gathering supplies to build my latest astounding invention!"

He held up one foot. Attached to it was what appeared to be a tattered ice skate with its blade replaced by mattress springs, a small wooden board duct-taped to the other end of the coils.

"Spring-powered jumping boots?" Cameron asked, sounding simultaneously confused and impressed.

"That's right," Max said. He gave a small hop went five feet into the air. "With these, fruit hiding on even the highest of branches will not be safe from our appetites!"

"Uh, question," Dave said. "Wouldn't it be a lot easier just to pick the apples closer to the ground, like Beardo, Scott and I have been doing for the last fifteen minutes?"

Max scoffed. "You clearly don't get this whole 'evil' thing, do you? Watch and learn!"

With a mighty leap, Max shot several feet into the air, collecting a few apples in the process. He came back down, landing in a low crouch, and bounced even higher, swiftly picking all of the apples in his path as the branches and leaves slapped his skin, adding each fruit to the pile he was holding against his body with one arm. On his third leap he leapt higher still, this time twisting in the air so that he might look down at the astonished faces of his teammates.

"Behold, my henchmen!" He said, striking a triumphant pose as he started to come down again, "this is how a genius picks ap-"

Thwack!

"Oooooh!" The rest of the Extreme Eagles cringed, even as some stepped back to avoid the falling apples. Max, his face frozen in agony, slowly slid off the branch he had landed, where he tumbled the rest of the way down and landed in a crumpled heap.

"Oh, my kiwis…" he groaned, his voice rising several octaves as he clutched the spot between his legs.

Beardo imitated the three-note trumpets of failure, "Wah-wah-waaaah," as Mike and Scarlett rushed over to help Max to his feet.

"You okay, buddy?" Mike asked, concerned.

"I'll… I'll be fine," Max squeaked, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. "Note to self: my next invention should be an evil codpiece… ow…"

Confessional Cam: Wait, how can a codpiece be evil? It's not like normal codpieces go around donating to charity or anything.

Dave: "Okay, I'm starting to think I should move my tent deeper into the woods. The last thing I want is to be anywhere near the cabin when Max decides to build and test a death ray or something."

Beardo: (holds up a photo of Max and spins a finger around his head, making a noise like a cuckoo clock.)

Scarlett: "Max is clearly quite intelligent, and his ability to construct inventions on the fly is impressive, but he's often done in by his own hubris and short-sightedness. If I can just figure out how to point his energy in the proper direction, it could offer our team a serious advantage."

Scott: "Wow, Max really likes his crazy contraptions. I sure hope that if he makes something to help us during the challenges, they won't malfunction and go horribly wrong. That would be just awful." (he chuckles and rubs his palms together.)

Over the boy's half of the Wild Wolves' cabin, spirits were high as the sweet sound of sizzling bacon and eggs filled the air.

"Toss me another egg, Brick House," Lightning said, standing in the corner of the cabin, holding a frying pan over a hotplate.

True to Chris' word, when the Wild Wolves had returned to their cabin after yesterday's challenge, they had not only found a new hot tub waiting behind their swelling, but each side was now equipped with a cabinet full of cookware and utensils, along with a small counter holding a hotplate and toaster oven, all sitting in one corner. In the other corner sat a mini-fridge and small cabinet, both of which were stocked with a small assortment of groceries. It wasn't enough to feed the appetites of thirteen teenagers for more than a day, but it was certainly better than being forced to forage for their meals.

"Can do, Lightning my man," Brick replied, plucking the last egg from the carton in the tiny refrigerator. "Head's up!"

The egg arced through the air, landing in Lightning's outstretched palm. He used the momentum to crack the egg against the side of the pan, dumping the runny contents into the sizzling pan and tossing the broken shell out the window.

"Sha-bang!" Lightning said, grinning at the sight of the egg white and yolk solidifying. "Man, Chris could give us only food as prizes for the rest of contest and we'd be good to go!"

"You can say that again," Topher said, shoveling another forkful of bacon and eggs into his mouth. "I tell you, Chris knows how to treat the contestants on this show."

"You mean when he's not tormenting us for fun and ratings?" Brick asked as he poured a tall glass of OJ.

"Hey, the man does what he can to give the viewers what they want so we can keep this show going." Topher handed his empty plate to B, who added it to the growing pile of dirty dishes. "Just wait, it's all going to be worth it for the one who walks away from this game with a million big ones."

"Yeah, and only for the winner," Sam said, before turning back towards Leonard, who was resting on the bunk above him. "So you really ended the siege of Kvatch without any of the guards getting killed?"

"That's right," Leonard said with a proud smile. "I take great personal pride in not losing a single companion, no matter how expendable they may be."

Sam nodded, taking a big bite of his egg, bacon and toast sandwich. "So I take it you always play good karma characters."

"It's what I gravitate towards. At worst, I'm an anti-hero."

"See, with games that have a karma system like that, I prefer to play at least three characters: one who's a paragon of virtue, one who's a sort of neutral, and one who's as evil as possible within the game. Helps me explore all the story has to offer, you know? Also means I can get some variety and play as a purely physical fighter, a stealth type, and a magic user. Gonna take a shot in the dark and guess that you prefer mages?"

"Of course!" Leonard sat up, extending his hand in a dramatic fashion. "There's nothing quite like bending the elements themselves to your will, calling forth fire from your palm and shooting lightning from your fingertips!"

"Or controlling your enemy's mind and forcing him to turn on his former allies!"

"Or summoning beasts from the darkest corner of the underworld to fight alongside you!"

Topher leaned over to B and whispered; "You following any of this?"

B held up his hand up flat, the "Eh, kind of," gesture.

"Man, as long as they keep winning us challenges, they can keep up that nerd jibber-jabber all they want," Lightning said, slapping the finished scrambled egg onto the last plate alongside two strips of bacon, a similar plate resting next to it. "Speaking of nonsense, anyone seen Zombie Boy? I made enough for everyone."

"I'll take it to him," Brick offered. He hopped off his bed and grabbed one of the plates before making his way out of the cabin.

"So what do you guys think today's challenge will be?" Topher asked.

Sam shrugged. "Judging by what we know of the show, I think the best we can hope for is something that will only end with moderate injuries and a shred of our dignity intact."

Confessional Cam: Wishful thinking, Sam. Wishful thinking.

Lightning: "Gotta say, the rest of the guys surprised me yesterday. Silent B and Brick House were good with me on defense, the Wiz gave us the idea for a catapult, Gamer Boy helped us score the winning points, and even Zombie Boy and Chris Jr. proved to be useful. With me around to whip 'em all into shape, the Wolves are gonna go all the way, baby! Sha-zam!"

Sam: "Leonard's a pretty cool guy to talk to. He's played enough fantasy games to make me look like a noob. It's still a little weird how he goes on about magic like it's a real thing, but hey, I'm in no position to judge what's normal."

Over on the girl's side, Jasmine awoke to the sweet smell of cinnamon. Rubbing her eyes, the Australian girl yawned as she sat up in bed and stretched, taking care not to smack her head on the haphazardly-repaired ceiling. She looked around to see Zoey, Dawn and Amy sitting on their bunks, plates of pancakes in their laps. Samey was nowhere to be seen, and Ella was in the corner, holding a sizzling skillet over the hotplate.

"Oh, someone's in the kitchen with pancakes," she sang as she poured some thick batter from a large plastic bowel into the skillet, "someone's in the kitchen I know-o-o-o/someone's in the kitchen with pancakes-"

"Playing on an old banjo!" Amy snapped, pouring more syrup on her final pancake. "Yes, we get it! We got it the first ten times you sang it."

"Hey guys," Zoey said, pointing a fork up at Jasmine. "Look who decided to wake up from the dead."

Dawn and Ella looked up at Jasmine and smiled.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Ella said playfully as she flipped the breakfast cake in the pan. "Glad you finally decided to join us."

""Finally'?" Jasmine repeated, swinging her legs out of bed and hopping to the floor. Dawn nodded.

"We tried several times to wake you," she said, "but you're quiet the sound sleeper."

Jasmine chuckled, rubbing the back of her head. "Yeah, guess I am. My mum says that during a camping trip when I was little, dingoes howling kept the whole family up all night while I just slept like a rock. Wha'cha making there, Ella?"

"Just some of my world famous cinnamon pancakes," the princess replied, sliding the last pancake onto a plate that held two, sitting next to two other stacks of three. "I saved some for you and Samey."

"Much obliged," Jasmine said, picking up a platter of hotcakes. "Speaking of which, where is the shelia?"

"Oh, the poor dear was still feeling sore from yesterday," Dawn explained, "so she went out for an early-morning soak in the hot tub."

"After what she went through, I'm not surprised," Zoey noted.

Ella nodded, picking up one of the last plates. "Would anyone like to bring her breakfast to her?"

Amy set her empty plate aside, raising a hand as she dabbed her mouth with a napkin. "I'll do it," she said.

Ella handed her the plate, keeping the last one for herself. The cheerleader smirked as she walked out the door and started to walk down the steps. With an exaggerated yelp of surprise Amy pitched herself forward, landing hard on her hands and knees, the plate and pancakes slapping down on the grass in front of her.

"Ow!" Amy cried, shutting her eyes and masking her cruel grin with a look of pain as she heard footsteps running up behind her.

"Are you okay?" Zoey asked as she and Jasmine pulled Amy to her feet.

"Yeah, I just tripped," Amy said, leaning down to rub one knee with a loud wince. She opened her eyes and frowned at the spilled breakfast in front of her. "Aw, I dropped Samey's pancakes."

"Well, ain't that a kick in the teeth," Jasmine said, shaking her head. She glanced over to Ella and Dawn, who were poking their heads out of the doorway. "Don't suppose you could whip us up a few more, Ella?"

The princess shook her head, looking sad. "Sorry, but I used up all the milk and flour we had to make just enough for all of us."

Dawn glanced down at the one-and-a-half pancake left on her plate and shrugged. "I've got some left, so I'll share with her."

The moonchild walked down the step, casting a sidelong glance at Amy as she did so. The cheerleader snarled as she watched Dawn disappear around the cabin.

"You know what?" She heard Ella say. "I think I'll share as well."

Amy gaped, and felt Zoey let go of her arm. "Me too," she said.

"The lass certainly earned it," Jasmine remarked, also letting go.

Amy watched, flabbergasted as the other girls gathered their plates with varying heights of pancakes and followed Dawn, leaving the blond twin alone. She looked to the pancakes in the dirt, snarled and kicked one of them so hard that it flew all the way to the lake.

Confessional Cam: Hey! What did those pancakes ever do to you?!

Amy: "What is that hippie's deal? Not only is she treating Samey like a human being, but then she looks at me like I'm the bad guy?! She's up to something, I just know it!"

Dawn: "I can't shake this bad feeling I have about Amy. Negative energy just seems to pour off of her like a frigid tidal wave…"

Zoey: "Truth be told, I kind of didn't want to give up my last pancake, but I felt bad for Samey. But those are really good pancakes. And get this: when Ella was getting ready to make breakfast, she started singing, and these birds just flew through the window and helped her cook! I swear to God, they were grabbing her ingredients, getting out the pan and bowl, everything! I'm telling you, that is a legitimate superpower."

Ella: (giggles, with a blue jay perched on an outstretched finger) "What can I say? I have a way with animals." (she whistles a brief tune, which the bird copies perfectly.)

Dawn stepped around the crushed soda cans and discarded candy wrappers as she made her way to the hot tub, making a mental note to pick the trash up later. The events of last night were still fresh in her mind: the Wolves had returned to their cabin to find a bubbling pool installed in the rear, and a nice selection of foodstuffs in each half the cabin. The team had spent hours relaxing in their new hot tub, celebrating their victory in yesterday's challenge. Brick had challenged Lightning to a soda-chugging contest, Shawn struck up a conversation with Jasmine about the finer points of wilderness survival, Dawn had conversed with Leonard and Sam about fantasy literature, and Zoey had shared beauty tips with a bored-looking Amy.

Samey was the only one who didn't get involved with the festivities, even when some of the others tried to draw her in. She spent most of the night looking the same way she did now: tucked away into one corner of the tub, head down, eyes closed, shoulders hunched, up to her neck in the bubbling water. So absorbed in her withdrawn world Samey was that she didn't even noticed Dawn's approach until she spoke.

"Um, Samey?" Dawn asked, and the twin jumped with a yelp.

"Wha?! Huh?" She blinked, then noticed Dawn and gave her a small smile. "Oh, hey Dawn." She noticed the others falling in behind her, and raised an eyebrow. "Uh, what's going?"

"Ella made pancakes," Zoey explained, gesturing to the smiling girl in pink. "We kind of dropped yours though, so we thought we'd share ours."

The four girls held out their plates, the sweet smell of cinnamon wafting into Samey's nose. She stared at the offerings like her team was offering her the keys to the lost kingdom of Atlantis.

"You guys…" she said, stunned. "You didn't have to do that for me."

"I made the pancakes for everyone, including you," Ella said, leaning against the hot tub.

"Besides, after what you did for the team yesterday," Jasmine added, "I think you've more than earned these."

For a brief moment, Jasmine saw a flash of pain in the shorter girl's eyes. But then she shut her eyes tight, and when she opened her eyes it was gone.

"Thanks, guys," she said with a smike, pulling her hand from the water to grab the fork from Ella's plate, tearing off a piece of pancake and popping it into her mouth. "Mmm!" Her eyes went wide, and her smile grew to a grin. "Okay, this is delicious! These are cinnamon pancakes?"

"It's a family recipe," Ella said with just a touch of pride of her voice. "Passed down for four generations. You like them?"

"They just might be the best freakin' pancakes I've ever had."

Jasmine took a bite of her own pancakes and beamed. "You can say that again," she said, digging in. "So, what do you guys think the second challenge will be?"

"Well, yesterday was a different take on TDI's first challenge," Dawn said. "Maybe now we'll have to do a new version of the Awake-A-Thon?"

"Oh God I hope not," Zoey said, shaking her head. "I could never stay awake for that many days! I don't know how Gwen and Duncan managed to do it without keeling over."

"Well Duncan did eventually," Samey said with a smirk, "sitting on the can, remember?"

The girls shared a laugh at that, which continued until they heard someone calling out.

"Shawn! Where are you, bro?"

The five looked over to see Brick wander around the other side of the cabin, a plate of bacon and eggs in hand. He saw the women near and in the hot tub and waved.

"Morning, ladies," he said, jogging over to them. "Any of you seen Shawn anywhere? I've got his breakfast."

"He's not over on your side?" Zoey asked, raising an eyebrow. Brick shook his head.

"He said something about sleeping in the trees to hide from the shufflers, whatever that means."

"'Shufflers'?" Jasmine repeated, now confused herself. "What the bloody hell are those?"

"Zombies!" A new voice called out.

Startled, the six looked up towards the source of the exclamation. Shawn sat on a branch high up in a tree beside the cabin, leaning up against the trunk with one leg tied to the branch.

"You know, the undead," Shawn said as he undid the knot securing the rope around his shin. "Ghouls, geeks, freaks, shamblers, walkers, infected, rotters, moaners, biters, maulers, exes… they go by many names, but they all follow the same basic rules: they can only be killed by removing the head or destroying the brain, they're all dumber than a bucket of doorknobs, and – here's the important part in this case – they don't have the motor skills to do things like climb a tree."

Shawn finished untying the rope and deftly hopped down from branch to branch as he continued his monologue. "Yep, I've been training myself to sleep in trees in case I need to hide up here from zombies overnight. Been doing it for about a month now, and the only things that have bitten me are spiders, mosquitoes, and the occasional rogue squirr- aah!"

One of the branches he landed on snapped beneath his weight, and Shawn screamed as he fell. So did the rest of his team.

All except for Jasmine, who reacted instantly. She shoved her plate into Dawn's hands and shot forward, arms outstretched, making it just in time to catch Shawn before he could painfully hit the ground.

"Whoa!" he gasped, realizing that he had landed in a soft pair of arms instead of on the hard forest floor. He looked up to see Jasmine staring down at him, concern and annoyance in her soft features. "Uh, thanks Jasmine. Guess my descending still needs a little work."

She smiled at him and set him down. "No problem, mate. Just be more careful next time." She looked over to the broken branch that had landed nearby, and picked it up to examine. "Well, here's your problem: this branch was way too thin. If you're going to use a branch to support your weight, look for one about twenty centimeters in diameter."

"Oh yeah, I remember now," he said, looking closely at the branch himself. "About as thick as your forearm is the rule of thumb, right?"

"That's right." She took in Shawn's gangly appendages and chuckled. "In your case though, you might wanna use your whole torso as the base."

Shawn held his noodle arm out, letting his forearm hang down and swing back and forth like a pendulum. He laughed. "You may have a point there."

Confessional Cam: Well, at least he didn't land in her boobs this time.

Jasmine: "Okay, I think me and Shawn got off to a bad start yesterday. He's quite the outdoorsman, and he's funny to boot. I mean, zombies?" (she giggles and snorts a little.)

Shawn: "I'm glad Jasmine's forgiven me for, you know, accidently falling through the roof and landing on her… chest. She knows a lot about surviving in the wild, and seems like she can handle herself in a scrap. Pretty good odds for the surviving the zombie apocalypse with skills like that."

Samey: "I can't believe the others were being so… nice to me. I've never had anyone be that nice to me before. (gives a small smile) I… I kind of like it."

As Shawn accepted his breakfast from Brick, the intercom system crackled to life.

"Good morning, campers!" The always-enthusiastic Chris proclaimed. "Time for another day of pain and humiliation for the amusement of myself and the viewers! Meet me down at the beach in twenty for your second challenge!"

The twenty-five teens quickly finished their breakfast and made their way to the beach near the campground. There they discovered two sets of stands had been erected, speakers lined at the top and a large flat-screen TV standing between them. Beside the TV sat a podium lined with buttons and switches and two decks of cards, one black and one white. Behind the podium stood Chris, who was talking to a disturbed-looking Chef Hatchet.

"… some sort of transsexual Taiwanese hooker," the group heard Chris say as they approached. "And that's why I'm not allowed back in Finland." He looked over at the contestants and beamed at them. "Hello, children! Welcome to the second challenge of Total Drama Bonanza! Eagles, please be seated to my left, Wolves to my right."

He waited until the two teams had taken their seats before continuing. "Today's challenge is a game that, as teenagers, you should all be familiar with: truth or dare!"

Chris pressed a button on the podium and the television flickered to life, divided into two sections. The left half flickered rapidly between the faces of all of the campers, while the right half switched between pictures of a halo and a burning fire. "We will alternate between teams each turn, with one randomly selected player performing a dare or answering a personal and most-likely embarrassing question. Succeed in the dare or tell the truth, you earn a point for your team! First team to fifteen wins the challenge."

"Wait, how will you know if we're lying?" Sky asked.

In response Chris pressed another button. A small compartment slid open on the counter in front of Sky, and out rose a small circular steel ring, attached to a metal base. "These special Truth Bands are designed to monitor your heartrate and blood pressure when worn, allowing us to tell if you're lying or not. Speaking of which, if you fail a dare or lie, not only do you not get a point, but your whole team gets a mild electrical shock."

Everyone gasped in fear, and Chris chuckled. "Relax, scaredy-cats. We tested these things earlier to make sure they were safe."

Earlier…

"Um Mr. McLean, are you sure these things are safe?" a nervous-looking intern asked, wearing a Truth Bands as he sat at one of the seats on the bleachers, the sun barely poking over the horizon.

"Of course not," Chris said as though it were obvious, standing nearby with a clipboard in hand, "that's why we're testing them first! Now go ahead and tell a lie."

"Okay. Uh… I'm a seven-year-old blond girl named Sandy who can breathe fire and-"

A buzzer on the podium sounded, and the murky dawn briefly became as bright as day.

Chris threw up his arms to shield his eyes from the raging ball of light and energy the screaming intern had become, the electricity crackling as thousands volts coursed through him with an audible hum.

This went on for a few seconds until the flow of power finally stopped. It was a few seconds more before Chris lowered his arms. He was greeted by the sight of the intern slumped back in his seat, his entire body charred, limbs twitching, trails of smoke drifting from his singed clothes. Sparking sounds echoed with even the slightest movement, and a scent like burnt barbeque filled the air.

"Yeesh," Chris said, making a note on his clipboard. "Maybe turn the voltage down just a tad."

And Back in the Present…

"Now then," Chris went on, "since the Extreme Eagles lost yesterday, their team gets to go first in what I like to call 'Truth Aches and Dare Scares'!"

He pressed a button on his podium. On the TV, the flickering images came to a halt, settling on a picture of Sky next to a fire.

"Kicking things off is newly-appointed Eagles leader Sky performing a dare! Come on down, captain!"

Sky gulped and slowly made her way down from the bleachers, exchanging concerned glances with her team on the way. She stood in the sand in front of Chris, who drew the top card from the black deck.

"Sky," he said, reading, "to earn the first point for your team, you must chug… an entire two-liter bottle of soda!"

Chef held a large bottle of bubbling green liquid. Sky sighed in relief.

"That's all?" She asked, taking the bottle. "For a second I thought I was going to have to drink something gross like expired milk or toilet water."

"Not this time, it would seem," Chris said, pressing another button. A timer set at 0:30 appeared on the screen. "You have thirty seconds to down the entire bottle and earn a point. Ready… go!"

The countdown began and Sky twisted the cap off, throwing it to the side as she brought the bottle to her lips. She held the plastic container almost straight up as she tilted her head back, the soda sloshing inside as she gulped it down as fast as possible.

"You can do it, Sky!" Jo called out. "Chug! Chug! Chug!"

The entire team quickly joined in on the cheering, loudly chanting "Chug! Chug! Chug!" as Sky lowered the bottle for a second to take several rapid breaths before going right back to drinking, tears leaking from the corners of her closed eyes.

"Seven! Six!" Chris narrated as the clock wound down. "Five! Four! Three! Two!"

"Done!" Sky said, throwing the empty bottle down on the sand as she gasped for breath. The sound of a bell ringing echoed from the speakers, and the Eagles cheered.

"Sky earns the first point for the Extreme Eagles!" Chris said as the woozy-looking gymnast made her way back to her seat, exchanging high fives and fist bumps along the way.

"Nice job, Sky," Cameron said as she sat down beside him. He frowned at the sight of her pallid features. "Uh, are you okay?"

Sky groaned, a hand over her stomach as it grumbled and gurgled. "I've-" she paused to let out a loud belch, "never drank that much pop that fast. I don't feel too good…"

"And now, we go to the Wild Wolves!" Chris said as Cameron rubbed Sky's back. He pressed the button, and watched the screen flicker and flash until it settled on two pictures. "Opening for them is Brick doing a dare of his own!"

"All right!" Brick cheered, throwing two fists in the air. From his spot at the bottom of the bleachers he vaulted over the counter and swaggered up to the host. "A soldier like me can handle anything! Hit me with your best shot, McLean!"

Chris chuckled maniacally. "Okay, you asked for it." He drew another black card. "Brick. Your dare is… to dump an entire tray of ice cubes down the front of your shorts and underwear, and hold them there for thirty seconds."

Chef held up a tray of gleaming ice cubes to the cadet, who took them with a perplexed look.

"O-kay. Never really had ice in my pants, so I'm not sure how to feel about this," he said, and shrugged. "Guess I'll find out."

With one hand Brick pulled the waistbands at the front of his jeans and underwear out. With the other he gripped the ice cube tray and pressed the other end against his abs, bending it upwards, the frozen squares breaking free and tumbling into his pants.

Brick's eyes shot open, his pupils shrinking as he dropped the empty tray and clutched the bulge in his pants with both hands. (Giggety.)"Oh sweet mother of Patton that's cold!" He screamed, his voice rising dangerously close to a pitch that only dogs would be able to hear.

"You can do this, Brick!" Jasmine said as the timer appeared on the screen. "Remember, it's only thirty seconds."

"Just think warm thoughts," Sam called out. "Think of a beach on a bright, sunny summer day."

"Or a tray of chocolate chip cookies, fresh from the oven," Ella offered.

"Or the inside of a tanning bed," Dakota added.

"Or the volcanic lair of Malwrath the Infernal!" Leonard threw in.

It was, without a doubt, the longest thirty seconds of Brick's life. After five seconds, his legs grew weak and he dropped to his knees. After ten seconds, he lost all sensations in his nether regions. After fifteen seconds, his teeth started to chatter. After twenty seconds, his skin took on a bluish tint. After twenty-five seconds, not even imagining himself on the surface of the sun could alleviate the biting cold that seemed to sink into his very bones.

"Five, four, three, two, one," Chris said as the clock hit zero, signified with another bell ring. "And that's a point for the Wild Wolves! Brick, you can-"

"Oh thank merciful God!" The boy screamed, pulling open the bottom hem of the right leg of his shorts, letting the partially-melted ice cubs fall out. Chris grimaced and pushed the ice away with his foot while Brick climbed to his feet and slowly shuffled back to his seat, his team congratulating him along the way.

"Nice work, Brick House," Lightning said as Brick sat next to him, still holding his crotch. "How you holding up?"

Brick moaned, shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. "I-I-I th-think my t-testicles shot b-b-back up into my b-bo-body," he managed to say. "I-it's like r-r-r-reverse p-puberty over h-here…"

"And with that, the score is tied one to one!" Chris said with a grand gesture to the camera. "What other gross, painful and dangerous dares will the campers have to endure next? And what humiliating truths with they be forced to reveal to the entire viewing world? Find out when we return to Total! Drama! Bonanza!

End of Day Two, Part One

Part one comes to a close, with two campers already suffering at the hands of Chris and his twisted game of truth or dare. Which team will come out on top, and which member of the losing team will be sent home? The answers await in chapter five!

Also, writing Chris's recap made me wish I had named the Extreme Eagles the Mighty Moose instead. Oh well, hindsight is a bitch like that.

See you all next time!

StoryCrafter12