Jack MacFarline
Ch.- New friends, Old problems...
I didn't even understand, were my eyes getting wet from the pillow, or the pillow was getting wet from my eyes...
The doctor was visiting us everyday, and every time after coming out of her room , he was nobbing, from right to left, which meant only one thing, "not yet"...
In third day, doctor told to mom one thing , that changed everything. That day, I stood next to the door, overhear to their conversation.
"Mrs Marston, we need to understand one important thing, about your son."
"What?!" Mom's weak voice suddenly worried.
"He is not an adult yet , , if you won't find someone as a foster family for him before your death, he'll have to live in orphanage for next 5 years. Do you want me to go to the family you choose?"
My feet started to shake from the word "death". Mom was so young, so beautiful... Death was not in her dying eyes, in her burning smile. "She is gonna be fine, fine... She won't die, she won't... It's all my fold... It's all my fold... It's all mine..." I was telling to myself.
I was just sitting there and waiting for an answer... No one... Suddenly , I woke up from my though.
" Yes." Yes?
"So... Whom should I call?"
There was a long pause after the question. She was thinking. The question was very hard to answer, but...
"Bonnie. Bonnie MacFarline."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, yes I am. She is a good women, she'll take care of him... Yes, yes..."
"Bonnie... Mac... Hmm..." The doctor wrote the name.
Bonnie was visiting us after Pa's death. She told he saved her life from being hanged , after she saved his. She always says that she has a life duty to our family every time we asked for something to her. That's why mom was sure she'll agree. But, also , this five months Bonnie was visiting us weekly. She was the only person ,well , after me ( mom was often giggling at my clumsiness), that could make her smile.
Soon, I heard footsteps from the door . I run to my room and closed the door. The doctor walked out . I opened the door , and saw , that he wasn't nobbing this time. He was looking into the papers so deeply, like if there was a chest of gold... Soon, he went away.
I sat on my bed and putted my head into my arms. "Is this real? Is this it? Is this the end?"... The questions , that are still unanswered, rolled and rolled in my mind. They are still ringing every time I see mom's tombstone, every time I read her name on it, every time I get more and more sure, that it was not a nightmare...
As doctor went away, I went to mom's room and run into it.
"Mom?! Mom I'm so sorry! " I yelled with all my voice, falling down on my knees. She looked at me and smiled.
I was already crying on her bed, when she putted her hand on my head and told.
" You don't have to be sorry , dear boy. It's all right, all right. It's even better to die than to live in this unfair world, than to live , without knowing why... I knew I wasn't going to live much... I am even happy to die, the only think I was living for is you, Jack, but now, you better go and prepare for Bonnie's visit. Now go..."
"Mom, no! " I hugged her now. I didn't want to let her, I just wanted to make the time stop, to go back in time, and change everything... I wanted to stop it, and stop it forever...
"Jack?"
"Wwwhat?" I whispered through my tears.
"Do you know what's my last wish?"
"No... Tell..."
"It's for you to go and start packing your room, and anything you need."
"No! I am not gonna leave you!"
"Jack , do you love your mother?"
"Yes!"
"Then go and make my last wish come true."
I held her for few more minutes and then went away.
"It is better to die, than to live in this unfair life , to live without knowing why... "her words where ringing in my mind , with her weak and soft, dying voice. I was putting my books into a pack , with cleaning my tears from them...
It was 4: 30 something , as I remember, when someone knocked the door.
" W – who is it?" I told trying to waist some time, and clean the tears to not impairs myself in front of Bonnie.
" Jack? Open the door, it's me , Bonnie..."
Her voice was sad. Of course, she was sad. They became very close this last months, she was even very sad. I stood in front of the door , and then opened it.
She didn't even let me open it completely, before falling into my arms.
"Oh my go – o – o – o – o - d... Where is she?"
I showed her mom's room, and she run into it.
If telling the truth , I don't know what were they talking about, but when Bonnie walked out, cleaning her tears, she told
" C'mon...
The ride was long and despicable. I thought, I would jump out of the wagon and straight to mom's arms, but no. I was looking back all the time, I couldn't believe I was leaving, I was leaving her behind...