Chapter 6

Lunch with Steiner

The next morning, Dean Garland was conversing with Queen Brahne about the parade, while two janitors were trying to carry Doug's dead Sea Flyer out of the office.

"If you want the homecoming parade in my city, you have to pay, Garland," Queen Brahne said as she fanned herself with the ridiculous red folding fan she always seems to carry around.

"Your Majesty, I don't think it's right that you should extort money from the college," Dean Garland said.

"Look, Garland. These parades are very expensive, you're using my knights, my sanitation people, and other things. So if you mention extortion again, I shall have your legs broken," Queen Brahne responded as a seemingly evil grin spread across her butt-ugly face.

"Well I suppose I could arrange a nice little honorarium from the student fund," Dean Garland said with a rather nervous chuckle.

"And one more thing, you had better sit on that zoo fraternity of yours. I do not want any drunken riots in my city," Queen Brahne pointed out.

"Don't worry, Your Majesty. I've got those boys right where I want them, we'll have the best homecoming parade that Alexandria has ever seen," Dean Garland said. The two janitors then started dragging the dead creature out.

In the cafeteria, Steiner was getting his lunch. He grabbed a bowl of soup and saw something round and white floating in the broth, he picked up the object. It was a golf ball. Steiner put the golf ball in his pocket and proceeded to get his lunch, he piled as much food as he could onto his tray, he ate some of the food while still picking up more. He even stuffed some food into his pockets. After he felt he had collected a decent amount of food, he started heading for a table. At one of the tables, Lily was sitting down and minding her own business, until Marcus sat down next to her.

"Hey, Lily, what's happenin'?" Marcus asked with a smile.

"Go away," Lily said.

"How about I buy you lunch?" Marcus asked. Lily held up her lunch.

"Oh, you already got your lunch. Well, how about I just massage your back while you eat?" Marcus asked.

"Do I have to leave?" Lily asked sharply.

"Hey, is this any way to treat a potential friend?" Marcus asked.

"I asked you never to speak to me again, now will you bug off?" Lily asked. Steiner soon caught sight of Marcus and headed over to him, but first he slipped up behind Doug, who was sitting with several other tall mages, and made a few chirping sounds, similar to the sounds that Luna made. This caused Doug to abruptly sit straight up and grunt. Steiner quickly slipped away after that. Kuja, Skip, and Beatrix sat down at Lily's table.

"I hope we're not interrupting anything, Lily," Beatrix said with a giggle.

"Oh, Marcus was just leaving," Lily quickly said.

"No, I was not," Marcus said.

Kuja then said, "I could easily make you leave ri-." Kuja stopped to see Steiner sit down.

"Hey, Stein-O," Marcus said to Steiner, who took a quick look at Beatrix and then just started pigging out.

"Really, Kuja, can't you make them both leave?" Lily asked.

"Don't worry, just keep your arms and legs away from his mouth," Marcus chuckled while Steiner continued to pig out.

"Don't you have any kind of respect for yourself?" Kuja asked Steiner. Steiner just ignored him.

"This is totally disgusting. That man is a complete pig," Lily said.

"No he is not," Marcus protested.

"No, Marcus, she's right. I am a pig, but let's see if they can guess what I am now," Steiner said. He picked up a ball of clotted icing off his ice cream. He held up the icing ball for a second before popping it into his mouth. Steiner chewed for about a second or two, then he puffed his cheeks with air and smashed them with his fists, spitting out and splattering bits of icing on Kuja, Skip, Lily, and Beatrix, all of whom groaned in disgust.

"I'm a zit. Get it?" Steiner asked with a grin on his face.

"Alright, you bastard! Let's go, right here!" Kuja growled through his gritted teeth. Steiner bounced his eyebrows up and down for two seconds and then got up and ran. Kuja and Skip got up and ran after him. Steiner ran as fast as he could, and in the process he ran into another student and caused him to fall backwards onto Neidermeyer's table. Doug and the tall mages got up and ran after Steiner. Steiner threw a chair behind him, which Doug tripped over and the other mages tripped over Doug. The mages quickly got back to their feet and chased after Steiner. Marcus chuckled at the scene, then he turned to Lily.

"Why don't we go out tonight?" Marcus asked.

"Don't flatter yourself, Marcus. It wasn't that great," Lily answered.

"'It wasn't that great'?" Marcus thought.

"FOOD FI-I-I-I-IGHT!" Steiner yelled out. The other students instantly started throwing their food at one another. It was complete pandemonium. Food, dishes, and trays were flying everywhere. Later that night, Beatrix was hanging out with Kuja in his hover-car.

"The sky is so beautiful at night," Beatrix said as she leaned her head on Kuja's shoulder. Kuja said nothing in response.

"You okay, Kuja?" Beatrix asked.

"It's just that whole thing with the Deltas. It has me a little distracted. Gods know how much they've stolen," Kuja said.

They were both silent for another few seconds, then Kuja said, "That Marcus Stratton's lucky he's not in prison."

"I'll say," Beatrix responded.

"You'll say what?" Kuja asked.

"I'm saying that I agree with what you said about Marcus," Beatrix answered,

"I should probably get home, it's really late."