Chapter 2

Shawn thought he caught a flash of something metallic as he put the carton of juice back in the fridge, but when he turned around, Riley was slipping her hand into the pocket of her shorts, head down as she started towards the hallway. Mentally shrugging it off, Shawn went back into the living room and returned to his place beside Katy.

"Where are you going, Riley?" Topanga asked her daughter curiously.

Riley froze mid-step on her way to her bedroom, turning around with a drained smile to say, "I'm tired. I'm going to go to my room and go to sleep early. Goodbye."

"You must really be tired! Don't you mean 'good night'?" Topanga asked, her smile widening.

But Shawn's heart stopped as pieces of a puzzle slammed together in his mind and he woke up to what was actually going on. "I'm tired. I'm going to go to my room and go to sleep early. Goodbye." And that flash of metallic had been a knife!

"Riley!" he cried a little too forcefully, shoving onto his feet with flashing eyes.

Every head in the room turned to him, and Riley asked in confused alarm, "What?!"

And of course that was when he froze. Think, Shawn, think! You can't just accuse her of… This is Riley, right?! You'll look like an idiot… and they're going to want to know why you thought she was going to go off and…

He peered closer at his niece, and his heart dropped into his toes at what he saw. Yeah, okay, this was sunshine and rainbows Riley Matthews, but he knew what he'd seen – what he saw right now in her micro-expressions. And he knew what she meant when she'd said she was "tired;" he'd been there, and Eric wasn't around to rescue them from themselves this time.

So he had to do it.

THINK!

And then it hit him, what he could say – how he could maybe even tell Cory and Topanga what was going on without Riley flipping out on him. The last thing he wanted was a struggle over that knife in her pocket that resulted in somebody getting hurt.

So he walked over to Riley and pulled her into a tight hug, saying casually, "I'm leaving town tomorrow, remember? I just wanted to make sure I was able to give you a proper 'see you later' and tell you I loved you."

Riley blinked up at him, eyes narrowed the slightest bit as she pointed out, "I don't know that you've ever said those exact three words to me."

Shawn winced internally, but surely, surely Riley Matthews knew how loved she was! "Well, if I haven't then that is entirely my fault, and I apologize, because I love you very much." He kept an arm around her shoulders as he moved to stand behind her, continuing, "We all do. So. Very. Much."

No one but the two of them understood what he was saying just yet, but he felt her start to tremble, and her hand began to shake that much more when he closed his own hand around hers in the pocket of her shorts. She had a death grip on the knife, but he wasn't going to let go of her hand, and she had to know she'd been found out. Still, she barely breathed, though he saw her glance around at the gathered group of people, saw Cory and Maya both frown a little as they noticed that something was off here. Shawn had to make them understand.

"I do love you, even when I'm out of town. But you, Riley," his arm around her shoulders tightened, and he had to swallow past the lump in his throat as he recalled infant Josh in the NICU, fighting for his life… about to die. He stared at Cory and Topanga over the top of Riley's head, begging them to understand what he meant as he all but ordered, "Don't you dare go out of town. We have the best family there is, and we love you too much to be without you. Don't you dare go out of town."

Cory and Topanga's expressions changed almost simultaneously as understanding dawned on them both. At the same time, Riley loosened her grip on the knife she held, and Shawn jerked it out of her pocket and slid it into his own in one swift sleight of hand.

He wasn't sure what exactly happened next, he was instantly hit with such a dizzying wave of relief. The way he'd handled the knife meant that Katy and the other three kids had never seen it, therefore they didn't understand what was going on. Cory and Topanga were there though, he noticed vaguely, and though he wasn't sure if Riley slid to the floor or if he had lost his grip on her, when he was finally able to breathe again and focus properly, Riley, Cory, and Topanga were a huddled mass of confusion, sobs, apologies, and "I love you"s on the floor. Katy was standing worriedly at Shawn's side, hand on his arm as she asked if he was alright, and he nodded absently as he fell to his knees beside the Matthews.

No one besides he and Eric had ever known what Shawn had attempted during his year living in New York – he'd disappeared too soon afterwards for that to happen – and he'd very slowly managed to patch himself up over the years – or at least build up sufficient enough walls to keep himself from being hurt again. He could tell at a glance that wasn't what was going to happen here. Even without knowing what was going on, Maya, Lucas, and Charlie were dropping onto the floor too, crowding around Riley and reminding her just how much they loved and needed her, asking her if she was okay… just wanting to be there and help where they could. And experience – or, in a way, lack thereof – told Shawn that was the best thing that could possibly happen for Riley right now.

"We're going to get you the help you need," Shawn heard Topanga promise her daughter. "We are going to be whatever you need. We love you, and we are here for you, and you are going to be just fine. I promise. Because you are too precious to every one of us to be anything but a huge part of our lives for as long as humanly possible. We love you, we need you, we aren't going anywhere and neither are you."

Riley was all but buried underneath the embraces of other people, but she still managed to catch Shawn's eye where he'd ended up on the edge of the little circle of humanity. She was crying, but they were finally the sort of tears that meant healing, that meant she was waking up to just how much she her life was worth to those around her. That thing that had been so wrong in her eyes had slipped away – at least for the moment – and they were all standing at the beginning of a long road, but Shawn got the feeling that at the end of it all, Riley was going to be exactly what Topanga had said. She was going to be just fine.

Riley wiggled an arm free from the mass of humanity and reached for Shawn's hand, choking out, "Thank you so much, Uncle Shawn."

For once, Shawn didn't bother fighting his own tears as he answered, "You are so welcome, kiddo."

He took her hand, and she held on to him. Starting now, for all she was worth, Riley held on.