It Was Just Sex: Version 2

Chapter 4

Nearing the evening portion of the day he looked up from reading papers on the couch in the suite as a light rapping came to the door. Slowly it pushed open to reveal Ebizo holding a stuffed animal in form of a puppy with a light blue satin collar. "I thought I should bring him a welcoming gift," he gently shut the door after stepping in.

Setting the papers down he stood up and met him over by the hospital crib with a heating pad underneath where his son is resting. "Thank you Elder Ebizo," he watched the man set it down by his little body.

"Have you thought of any names for him," he questioned after seeing the name spot blank.

"Not yet, Kagome called him a 'miracle child' due to the situation surrounding her pregnancy and birth," he felt something along those lines would fit nicely.

"Kichiro and Kei fit along those lines. Kei means: blessed, lucky, excellent, respect, square jewel, and wise. Kichiro means: lucky son. Perhaps one of those might be to yours or hers liking. I'm sorry your mother had passed after your birth but I'm glad she hasn't." He turned to study her quietly and asked, "what color eyes does she have?"

"A light shade of blue," he looked back over at her as a machine she is hooked up to continues to beep occasionally while her stats remained in a slightly below normal range. "She had an enemy and a duty to take care of. When a lead was found on the enemy she left the village in pursuit. At some point she realized we had conceived a child and she was going to find a safe place to carry out the pregnancy and get the child to me but her enemy found out. She killed them along the border but the hit she took pushed her into labor. Kagome was alone with several injuries and gave birth right where she landed. They called her weak but after what she endured, weak will never be in a description of her from my mouth. Somehow she was able to give our son using her life force to keep him alive and her powers as a priestess has been in his body helping him mature to where he doesn't need the help a normal premature infant would require. I have a feeling Kagome is actually a very strong priestess even if she won't admit to it."

"A priestess you say, that isn't very common at least in these parts. It is thanks to her that your son is alive or doing this well, I do agree with that. Do you think it is because of her abilities as a priestess that she somehow managed such a feat whereas we have only found methods that kill the user or exhaust to a near extent," he thought of his sister and other clans that are known for such techniques.

"I am but I have no clue to how she did it or if she is aware that she did it. Separating her from our son is likely what saved her life since she was reaching a dangerous level," he wished he could speak with her, get her to see he really wants to bond with her. "I hadn't mentioned at the meeting but she still has a threat to her life out there. Someone had resurrected a priestess by the name of Kikyo, the very one Kagome is reincarnated from and Kikyo already has part of her soul and wants all of it. Kagome doesn't want to bring danger to our son or the village so she had been adamant on either not returning or just accept death. I'm not letting the mother of my child be out there alone. It might be rough for a little while but she is not to leave the village with this Kikyo still out there."

He took a real good look at her as he approached the side of her bed. "A pretty little thing isn't she," he could see she is on the petite side. "I'm sure you will do what is best for her, you just have to understand this is her maternal instincts at play and she must feel you are better suited at keeping the child safe. Do your best to understand," he advised, "but I do agree she shouldn't leave the village or she could end up in a dangerous situation. I'm going to head on out now. Congratulations Lord Gaara on your young son and the fortunate turn in events, good day," he began to slowly head on out of the room.

"Good day to you too Honored Sibling Ebizo," he watched the door slowly shut leaving him alone with his son and the mother. 'If not for the border patrol finding them I may never have known,' he thought about it and knew it was his foolish actions. He has to at least try and see if he can have something more with Kagome. This could be the last chance he has to grow a bond with her.

It was a while later after he had dived back into the papers that she began to stir. Setting the papers back down again he went over to her side seeing how drowsy she still looks. "Kagome do you need anything," he asked for lack of anything to say.

Her eyes focused on him and then took in the room as words escaped her foggy brain. "What is this," she asked with a slight croak in her throat. Not feeling any pain she tried to sit up and Gaara searched around for a way to adjust the bed. Trying to be careful he found the levers and put it at what he thought might be a comfortable position.

"We are at the Suna Hospital, it is only the first day but the medics had you healed and cleaned up by noon," he wasn't sure if she is going to remember she had wanted to die and not return with him. "Our son is sleeping over there," he thought that might help things as he figured a mother would be happy hearing their baby is close by.

Her eyes looked at the portable crib. It was little more than a stand with drawers and clear plastic tub meant for the baby to rest in. From her new position she could make out the pastel blue and green blanket over a small bundle. The more she let her brain catch up to things the more everything cleared up for her. A slow realization dawned on as she finally remembered the last thing that happened. "I killed InuYasha," her mouth was slightly opened in shock when she remembered the panic she felt at the attack she felt could have killed Gaara at least.

"He is alive Kagome, I would say you saved him in all actuality," he did feel discomfort over knowing she had at one point been in love with InuYasha if not anymore. The possibility that she might turn him down because of her feelings for another had him a little down in spirits. When she finally looked at him again he figured he should fill her in. "When he got up he had no knowledge of what was going on or that you had crossed into a new era, he threatened to slaughter us because he thought we had harmed you so I would have to say he was instead feeling protective and called you by name. I gave him advice and told him to seek me out when he figures things out since he wasn't trusting of anything I had to say. Since my sand is in his bloodstream I can still sense where he is," he could see she at least believed what he is saying.

"It did cross my mind that Kikyo could have done something to him," she folded her hands in her lap and stared at them. There was silence between them for a long while and instead of hovering over her he returned to the couch. He thought it might be best to let her have time to think while he instead kept reading. It is all information on how to care for a newborn and he hasn't even cracked open the book. She glanced at him as he sat calmly reading, she could barely even hear any noise outside the door and finally turned her attention to the noisy machine they have her hooked up to. It was almost hard to believe she is already healed up after the pain she knows was shooting through after being slammed into that tree. Gaara had won; she is now back in Suna and alive. "What do you expect from me?"

Pausing in his reading he lowered the papers to look over at her. "To live and let me protect you," he figured that would entail her not leaving the village. "I would like our son to have both parents and know the love we can each offer him. I also have room to spare for you both to live with me and the financial means to support a family if you would prefer to focus most of your energy towards him rather than having a nanny. If you have any thoughts I am open to hearing them," he knew there are a lot of things he would like but he was unsure how she would feel about any of them. Sex crossed his mind now that she is doing okay; it was hard not to think about it since that was all they did is have sex when they did interact. They didn't chat, grab a bite to eat, or walk around, it was sex and only sex. He wasn't all that sure how he is supposed to not think about it or even adjust to her living with him so they can both be in their son's life and he can provide for them.

Rather than go straight to being mad at him she shrugged it off for the time being, it isn't like he is being all that pushy just sharing his thoughts. "I will probably return to working," she put out there since he said he is at least open to what she has to say. "I'm not sure I want to live you with you though," she didn't look towards him, just stared off at a wall while her mind takes everything in. If she is to live and allow him to protect her then she will at least live on her own. InuYasha was able to breach the village undetected before and end up under some sort of spell, it isn't impossible for it to happen again.

"You don't need to make any decisions today, we could just give it a try since you will have the place to yourself most of the day," he wasn't sure why she found the thought of living with him unappealing. He isn't the most sociable person or more like he isn't used to socializing but he hopes she can see he is trying. With a slight frown he didn't feel like he has much of a chance with her and she is really pretty. He was never the only guy with eyes for her and he doubted the sex or having a child will be enough for her to feel like giving him a chance, a chance he isn't sure how to even execute. It had been on his mind that through being home at the same time and raising their son together under the same roof that he might be able to gain her interest, it is what he was counting on to help them form a bond but if instead their only interaction is drop offs and pick-ups with their son then he likely doesn't stand a chance of gaining her affection. Feeling disheartened he finished the conversation saying, "Just let me know what you decide," then went back to reading trying to get his mind off the tightening in his chest.

Kagome looked at him from the corner of her eye after hearing the slight lowering of this tone. He was already back to reading whatever was in his hands. She didn't feel in a real good mood, instead she felt a bit at a loss. On the one hand she has her son that she still feels like she is endangering by being around so it pulled her down mentally rather than let her feel the joy of having her own child. When this whole thing started she thought her chances at getting married and having a family were over so she took Gaara's offer of a no strings attached relationship that resulted in conceiving a child, a very big string that attached them but at that point she had left. Then she is left just trying to survive long enough for her to give birth and see to it that the child reaches its father with no plans of going with. If not for the stubborn ninja she could have gone to sleep for good knowing her son is with his father who is an honorable man. Then Gaara showed up before InuYasha could get to her and that right there could have been her end if she didn't slip off for good after her son's departure. Now she is sitting in the hospital pain free and unsure what to do.

She does now have a chance to rethink her dreams of getting married and having kids that is if she can find it in her to put an end to this charade with Kikyo. Anger bubbled up into her chest, 'Every time I try to think of something that would make me happy it has to be ruined. First the jewel, then Kikyo, and finally Naraku, two of them are finally out of the picture but now I have to constantly fret over her using my son against me to get what she wants. Why couldn't Gaara have listened,' she fumed silently. It was tempting to just walk right out of the village again. What could he honestly do? If she ever wants to really feel like she can move on in her life then she needs to have this chapter closed.

"Kagome is something wrong," he asked her as it looked like she could be mad or something.

Tempted to let him hear her famous temper she bit her lip. This is not the time or place to get into such a thing. Instead she tried to put it out there as a question, one that will likely tip him off to what is on her mind. "What is more important, having your idealistic thoughts of the future or knowing your son is safe from harm," she knew he would read into the question and could see from her peripheral that he lowered the papers again.

That analytical mind of his picked apart her question rather easily. "I'm more than capable of protecting my son and keeping my hopes for the future. This is a village of ninja at my command and you have yet to see even half of my abilities," he was not happy feeling like she doesn't think he has what it takes. "I only held back with InuYasha at first because I knew you two were close at one point and I didn't want you to hate me."

"Kikyo is not about to just sit around waiting for me to die. This may be a ninja village but InuYasha infiltrated it before with no problem and was under her spell, they could both happen again and you haven't seen the full extent of his destructive capabilities. How can you expect me to just sit around waiting and worrying about an attack that will come? Our son could be used as a hostage," she stopped there as she finally faced Gaara. "The evening after we had last been together is when InuYasha jumped in through the window to let me know it was time to pack up and go. We walked right out of the village and no one even stopped him or took much notice to him. If he can get in Suna and search all over for me and then leave with me don't you think it is very possible for him to do it again?"

"All it took was you blasting him with your power to return him to normal so he wouldn't be a threat after that if this Kikyo manages to manipulate him again. After learning about what each one can do and obtaining a sketch or picture of at least Kikyo I could put her in the Bingo book of my shinobi so they know to kill her on sight." He knew he could get further into the topic but she isn't likely to understand everything. "Kagome, if I had known you were in some sort of trouble I would have helped you and kept you from leaving this village. If all of this is the reason why you didn't want a relationship I would have taken care of it all for you so you wouldn't eventually leave and I could feel free to pursue you the way I wanted to," he set the papers aside and stood up.

"You didn't want a relationship, even said so straight out," she still remembers his exact words that night at the bar.

"I didn't understand what I wanted and my offer could have been fueled by the alcohol or seeing you in that dress if not both. It was the first time someone had that effect on me that I hadn't thought it through. Before we were introduced I already knew about you. When Suna gets new residents I am given a list and watch them to ensure they are not a security threat but I couldn't stop noticing you, for the first time I was interested in someone. By the time two months had passed I knew more about you than I did compared to most anyone else. When I finally knew what I wanted we had already made the agreement and I learned you wouldn't be sticking around or likely returning." He slowly raised a hand longing to feel her cheek or brush his fingers through her hair, "I regret not trying to bond with you and I thought I would forever regret many things. I may have partially approached you with that offer only thinking in the short term but it didn't take long for me to realize my want for more. It stopped being all about the sex but I-," he dropped his hand leaving Kagome sitting there in anticipation. "I'm going to get a breath of fresh air," he walked around the bed heading out of the room quietly hearing the thudding of his heart in his chest. It has been a long time since he has feared rejection and he isn't fond of feeling it again, not by the one woman he has felt interest in but then again he doesn't want to see another romance her. What does he have to offer her beyond stability, something he will give her regardless just because she is the mother of his child?

Sitting there staring at the door he just walked out of she tried to wrap her mind around the longing in his gaze, the message in his words, and the fact she just realized that the Kazekage is insecure and possibly on the shy side. 'Has Gaara been holding feelings for me all this time and I never knew?' The confession really made it sound like that. For so long she has felt her self-worth be trampled on but time and time again she felt him wipe it all away just by the simple fact he desired her enough to ask her of all people to grace his bed and still be respectful. Now she finds out all of this as he insists she needs to live and even ask her to find happiness. "Gaara," she whispered still staring at the door.

After waiting around for him to show back up she finally nodded off. He came back in the room and found she didn't look all that comfortable. Coming to a quick decision to adjust the bed so she can rest more comfortably he tried to ease it down without disturbing her but before he could step away she woke back up.

"Gaara," she pushed on her hands to sit right back up looking tired.

"Get some rest Kagome," he was just going to sit down on the couch.

"No," she tiredly said but had a determined mind. Aqua eyes moved back over to her and he found her hand stretched out towards him as the other trembled with fatigue as it held her body up. Not really thinking much of it he steadied her with a hand to her back relieving the one arm while the other rested on his vest. "I care about you," she wrapped her arms around his waist in a hug and rested her head, "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

He wasn't quite sure what to do or say as he stood there. Uncertainly he set a hand on her back and was unsure what any of this really meant. "Kagome you don't need to apologize for anything," he was left remembering when he realized he felt more for her than he let show. It then reminded him of the day he gained Matsuri as a student whereas he was scary in the eyes of the others and regardless of how well he does it doesn't change the fact he is still lacking in social situations. How is he going to achieve growing a bond with her?

"Gaara, I feel lost," she admitted as she continued to hug him around the waist. She wants to be close to him right now, he is all she really knows beyond the friends she kept at bay.

'Lost,' he has felt lost before. He was once lost in the darkness and then he was lost in the light. He also felt a little lost when he came back from both but then again he also had a direction. "We can speak if you would like. I will listen," he wanted to help her and see what more he can do. Maybe they could at least be friends, it is better than her leaving or not having anything to do with her.

She collected a breath and focused on the why. "When things went south with InuYasha I started having doubts that I would live. When we chased Naraku through the well I thought he would end up in my time and hurt my family who would have been defenseless against him but we ended up here. InuYasha had been my first friend on that crazy quest, he had promised to protect me. Having him shoot down my worth hurt a lot but actually leaving me behind in a foreign land until they needed me was more crushing. Kikyo liked to rub it in my face that I was lucky she hadn't decided to reclaim her soul yet. My whole world flipped upside down and I just wanted to die. Dying in the final battle was what I hoped for; I just couldn't see a future and life felt more like hell. I tried working myself until I could drop but it didn't work so I tried to be active in the village but keep my distance yet it still didn't help enough. Sex had become my way of escaping reality and I felt better if not guilty then. Even though I wasn't making you smile I was at least bringing you pleasure and you had never been mean to me. I just didn't see myself worth going after or anything, I just constantly focused on meeting up with border patrol after giving birth and hand you our child then disappearing for good, I had been so certain it would go that way. It was just so bittersweet because I cared about everyone in the village and wanted to do something to make you smile but I knew keeping my distance meant I was probably not really missed. After focusing on dying for so long but ending up alive… I just have trouble accepting; still have trouble believing something good could happen. Gaara I don't want to burden you, I don't to be a danger to our son or keep being so weak. Where do I even go from here," she quietly asked him and pulled away from him now that she hopes he understands he hadn't caused her pain.

"Would you mind if I sit with you," he asked her as he had felt nice feeling her give him that kind of physical contact. She moved over and patted a spot while he adjusted the bed back to a reclined position and pushed the bed rail out of the way. With a light blush to his face he said, "If it comforts you, you can hold on to me again, I don't mind." Now she felt a bit shy but after turning on her side and adjusting he got comfortable as well letting her head and arm rest on his chest, it felt relaxing to both of them. "I have had times where I felt lost but even so I had a direction I just needed to learn how to execute how to get to my end goal, one I have yet to feel that I have really reached. There used to be a lot of negativity in my life that I couldn't understand why it was aimed at me. At times it felt like no one would acknowledge my existence so I came to feeling like I proved it by killing others and came up with a false reason as to why I was alive. Thankfully I was pulled out of that darkness and now succeeded in becoming the Kazekage and protecting my village from threats. I did learn though that we all suffer at times but it only takes a friend or direction to help you get back to living your life. Kagome I know it gets tough, I have been there and learned that many have but at least you don't have a past full of mistakes like mine. Sabaku no Gaara is a name that still terrifies some who has only heard of me in my former days, not who I am today… back to my true self, the one that was formerly lost as a child."

"I never really took you to be a scary person in all honesty. It is hard to even think that when you have the kanji for love on your forehead," she felt a little better but still feeling the need to be finished with this chapter of her life or more like just Kikyo.

It was his turn to feel bittersweet now. "It is there because I meant it as a demon that only loves oneself back in my days when it felt like it was me against the world. I still like it there even though I still don't entirely understand love. I have read romance novels trying to understand my sister and her husband Shikamaru, how they ended up dating and then getting married. Someday I hope to but it has been a while since I have picked up a book in that category."

"Way to turn a cute thing into something else," she felt it is a bit comical now. "Gaara could you tell me about what the ninja of this era are capable of," she hoped he would understand her need to know what is out there, what her options are.

"If it might help put your mind and heart at ease I am willing to tell you almost anything. I was born able to manipulate the sand, not something that another has been known to do. I can also use wind release, lightning release, magnet release, and earth release. We use them by weaving hand signs to control the flow of chakra and manipulate that element. Kankuro can use his chakra as strings to control puppets whereas my sister uses a fan, those are their specialties. My father could manipulate gold dust and then there is many more. By focusing our chakra we can balance on water, walk up a tree or building, make harder kicks or punches, even create clones, multiple if you have enough. The majority of this is all called jutsus like when I used wind against InuYasha twice, which was me making the hand signs necessary before taking a deep breath and releasing the attack. I can create a tsunami of sand to attack enemies, seal them in a pyramid, or even bury them below ground and send shockwaves through it to hopefully kill them. I have spying techniques as well and use my imagination to create what is needed out of the sand, even use it to ground up the hardest minerals of the earth to use them in shields or my absolute defense. Other than that I am one of the strongest in the village and have guards on duty keeping watch of the village." He could feel her soft touches on his torso as he let her think. It was a feeling he really couldn't name enough words to but he knows they are all good. She had chosen him for comfort, for guidance, information, and someone to confide in. A show of trust he had unknowingly gained just by being kind and respectful.

"Thank you Gaara," she felt so relaxed with him.

"You're welcome Kagome," he rubbed her hair between his fingers for a long while as a comfortable silence surrounded them. She slowly stopped moving her fingers and after a while it was clear she had fallen asleep. With her resting peacefully he enjoyed this change in things at the end of his second day of having them. He is finally seeing the possibility of them maybe having a chance, that maybe he does have something to offer her that she might not seek from another. After using the sand to gather the papers so he may finish reading them he also used it to bring the crib over to the side of the bed and later on retired into slumber while actually sleeping with Kagome rather than sex.