DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL.
F Is For Friends Who Do Stuff Together
It all started with a package.
There was a small, brown cardboard box left on his doorstep. He wisely prodded it far away from his house with a long stick before opening it. Just in case it blew up, or something. He could never be too sure those days. The packaging tape that sealed it was easily cut by his fingernails, which he really should have gotten around to cutting.
After cautiously folding the flaps to the side, he had to dig through the multiple layers of Styrofoam and bubble wrap before getting to whatever he was meant to receive. Once his fingertips touched something cold, hard, and smooth, he was disappointed to find a hand-sized rectangular metal plate with glass on the front. He turned it over and saw a note stuck to the back. Click here it said, with an arrow pointing at a flat button at the top. It was almost as if the person who sent the package was absolutely certain Gray was going to miss that button.
Gray put the pad on the ground before poking the button with his stick. After all, it might have exploded while he was holding it. Losing his hand would present a rather difficult…handicap. The screen flickered with light and the device began to beep loudly. The ice mage ran as fast as his legs could carry him.
The noise stopped, and was replaced by a voice that made Gray instinctively run even harder. "Answer the phone, Gray, or I will come down there myself and surgically attach it to your ear."
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It would have been nice, having a friendly conversation with Erza. Gray hadn't seen her in months, and he missed her like fuck, even if she did beat him up all the time. She was like his bossy, violent older sister who was there to call him out on his shit and guide him through life. He would have liked catching up with her, asking what she was up to, talking about the good old days.
He would have liked that a lot. Unfortunately, their friendly conversation felt more like a soldier giving his general a status report.
"I trust you have found suitable living conditions?"
"Yes."
"And you had better be keeping it clean, Gray," she told him very sternly. "I've been to your old apartment, and you're much too old to be leaving your clothes lying around anymore. Just because no one's around doesn't mean you can just let the place go."
"It's clean. Juvia's sort of a neat freak. I mean, of course I help with the cleaning, but she –"
He heard her her spit out whatever she was drinking. "Juvia?!"
"Oh yeah, I was getting to that. We're together." There was a screeching sound that made him jerk the phone an arm's length away from his ear. Even then, he could hear successive crashing of things being toppled over.
"How could you not have invited me to your wedding?!"
Okay, it might have admittedly been the fault of his wording, but Gray still had every right to spit out his imaginary drink. "What the actual fuck?"
"Really, Gray, that was very rude of you," she said, and she sounded genuinely hurt. "Just because the guild is gone doesn't mean we aren't friends anymore. It wouldn't be that hard to send a letter, now would it?"
"Erza," he said exasperatedly, "We're not married. We just live together."
There was a pause on the other end of the line. For a moment, Gray thought that comprehension of what he was trying to tell her was starting to sink in.
"YOU'RE LIVING IN SIN?!"
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After explaining to the Requip Mage that he and Juvia were only together in the physical sense (and even that needed some clearing up. God, Gray really needed to work on his wording) she seemed to grasp the concept of them simply being friends who lived under the same roof, in very separate bedrooms. Oddly enough, she sounded a bit disappointed.
They did catch up, in their own special way. While there was no question that Erza was fully capable of taking care of herself, it was comforting for him to hear first hand that she was doing fine.
"Anyway, I didn't send you this just for idle chatting," she said, suddenly adopting a more formal, business-like tone. "I have a job for you. You might have some personal interest in the matter, but I expect that to be useful instead of a hindrance."
"I'm listening."
"It's going to be dangerous."
"It always is."
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The first step in his mission was gathering information. This involved hanging around shady places and making shady friends. There was a network, and pyramid of people in charge, and Gray had to integrate himself into that system. To do that, he had to start from the bottom.
"Success. Brann is getting me in. I'm a neophyte," he told Erza over the phone as he began his journey home. She called him every other day to check up on him and feed him instructions.
"Congratulations. I'll ask Jellal to send you a list of potentially useful contacts. Not necessarily people you can trust, but they're in strategic positions."
"Alright, that's –wait a minute. Jellal?" he said, his lips curling into a smirk.
"What, did you think I would be familiar with all those criminals?" she said haughtily. "I'm working with Crime Sorciere. The remaining members of Oracion Seis have joined Jellal and Meredy, so they're the experts on who we're supposed to know, how they operate, and how to deal with them."
With more than ten years of friendship and horrendous beatings on his side, Gray could call himself an expert on how Erza operated. "So…you're with Jellal," he said slyly, dragging her back to the topic at hand. He could practically hear the steam rising from her ears.
"Yes. So what?" she said, and he might have been more scared if her voice wasn't quivering slightly. Her face was probably as red as her hair.
It was becoming clear to him that it was much more fun to tease Erza when she was a hundred miles away. "Do you stay up late together, going over documents on his desk and then –"
"I know where you live," she snarled, and that made him shut up a little. It would have been nice to pay her back for all her loaded questions. He liked having his body in one piece, and he wouldn't put it past her to drop by just to beat him up if he pushed her too far.
Once he arrived home, he locked the door behind him and took of his shoes. The phone was tucked between his ear and his shoulder. Erza was still rattling off instructions, along with subtle death threats. "How's Juvia?" she asked once she was done.
"She's okay. We trained pretty hard yesterday, so Juvia was dead asleep when I left. Made it easier to sneak out," he said. He'd discovered that Juvia's body clock was rather unique. She could sleep through a nuclear holocaust, and yet rose early every morning without need for an alarm.
"It's good that you train together. Your affinities are similar, so you could both learn from each other," Erza said.
"Yeah, I know. She showed me some pretty interesting tricks, so I tried teaching her some of the Ice Make basics Ur taught me."
"I hope she doesn't catch this stripping habit of yours," Erza joked. Gray did not respond.
"Um…"
"HOW DARE YOU TAINT THE WHITE LILY OF JUVIA'S INNOCENCE."
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After a few weeks Gray started to disappear more frequently for days at a time. He'd finally achieved control over his new Demonslayer powers. He could recede the markings on his body at will, and he knew just how to use the menacing appearance it gave him to his advantage. He was officially a member of Avatar. He could begin working his way up the ranks.
Juvia was visibly worried about him. Whenever she asked where he was going, he'd reply with a vague explanation about going on some errands. She never pried. Gray wondered if perhaps she was afraid to hear an answer. He didn't like to think about what she probably thought he was doing.
"I think she hates me," Gray told Erza one day.
"There is no universe where that is physically possible," Erza replied. Reconsidering her answer, she added, "except maybe Edolas."
"She's mad at me. She won't look at me," he said glumly.
"She does have a right to be upset," Erza conceded. "It really is a lot safer to keep her out of this, though. She'd definitely follow you if you told her."
"Yeah, I know, I know," Gray sighed. He wanted so badly to tell her, but held himself back. Not when there was so much at risk. Not when there was the slightest chance she would be put in danger.
"Why don't you make it up to her?" Erza suggested. "Do something nice. Take her out, get her a gift, bake her a cake." At this, Gray heard her stomach rumble.
"I tried baking before. She banned me from getting anywhere near the oven," he snickered at the memory. Erza had a point though, he thought as he mulled over her advice. "I could take her to the beach. She loves the ocean."
"That's a good idea," she said encouragingly. "It might take her mind off things. And you two deserve the break. You're also conducting your own investigation on E.N.D. right?"
"Yeah. She's been really helpful. She's got her own underground connections from Phantom, and she's a lot better than me at doing research." Gray wanted to thank Juvia for everything, from the work on E.N.D., which she had no obligation or personal motive to do at all, to making awesome food every day. He'd initially intended to purse this mission by himself, but now he knew he wouldn't have made it that far without her. "Maybe I should prepare a picnic too. I could bring take-out from this restaurant she likes."
"You do that," Erza agreed. "I need to go now. Have fun on your date!"
"Okay, thanks for –this is not a date!" he shouted, his face flushing beet red. He heard her cackle before hanging up.
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This was it. This was the big one. He was almost a part of Avatar's inner circle. All he needed to do was prove his dedication to the cause. There was going to be a tournament system to determine who was going to be a part of Avatar's strongest. Gray had to stifle his laughter when he heard this. Not only did this give the opportunity to beat up the assholes he'd been craving to punch in the face for weeks, he could test out the full extent of his training's progress.
"I sent you a present."
"I see it. This better not be condoms again," he growled. He shuddered, remembering the fiasco that transpired when Juvia found the box. He ripped the brown paper open and found a folded black and gold cloak.
"Does it fit?" she asked, upon hearing the tearing sounds. He headed to the bathroom, took off his shirt, and slipped it over his shoulders. It was his size, but collar was too high for his taste.
"I look like a fuckboy, damn it."
"That's the point. I went shopping with Cobra and told him to pick something he would wear on an everyday basis."
"This is supposed to help me blend in?" Gray said, practicing his evil face in the mirror.
"You'll need to be very convincing," Erza told him seriously. "While you are brash, occasionally arrogant and often tactless, merciless killer you are not.
"Gee, thanks. I'm touched."
"You're welcome. I raised you well." He had plenty of scarring childhood memories to attest to that.
"So what do I do? Like you said, my natural state isn't merciless killer. I don't even look like one, even with this thing on.""
Erza hummed as she contemplated a solution. "Who would you consider the biggest douchebag you know?"
That was easy. "Lyon."
"And what is it about Lyon that makes him a douchebag to you?"
"Where do I even begin," Gray scoffed. "His complete lack of shame, his annoying 'I'm better than you' attitude, how fucking entitled he feels to everything he wants."
"Focus on aesthetic first."
"Okay. His dumb clothes, his dumb smirk, his dumb hair…" he trailed off, catching sight of Juvia's hair products on the side of the sink. "Bingo."
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The first time Gray called Erza, it was a Code Red. It was early in the morning, and Erza had still been sleeping quite soundly, dreaming about eating her strawberry cake atop a pile of bodies, when her phone rang like a siren. She scrambled out of her bed in alarm, getting tangled in her sheets. Once she kicked them off, she dove for her phone.
"Have you been discovered? Are you under attack?" she asked frantically, ready to spring into a rescue mission.
He was panting heavily. "I'm fine. No, I'm not. Well. It's…it's…complicated."
Sensing he was in no life-threatening situation, Erza was starting to get annoyed. "What happened?"
Gray was leaning against a tree in the forest, trying to catch his breath. "I wasn't thinking. I tried so hard but I can't. It's there, it won't go away," he choked.
"Spit it out," she barked.
"I'm in love with Juvia," he said hoarsely. The line was silent. He thought perhaps she had fainted in shock. "Erza? You there?"
"My hair is red."
"What?"
"I thought we were making a list of obvious things," she deadpanned.
"How the fuck could you have known, I only admitted that this morning," Gray said angrily. "I even rejected her after the Games!"
"Because I know you," Erza said, and that was it. He slid down against the trunk, sitting with his legs sprawled in front of him.
"Why am I such an idiot?" he groaned.
"I've asked myself that since day one. I tried beating it out of you but evidently it didn't work." He began hitting the back of his head against the tree. "I'm curious, though. What triggered this grand epiphany of yours?"
"It isn't something that just happened, honestly. I mean, I've found her attractive for a long time. Fuck, she was cute the first time I fought her, with her girly parasol thing and. Fuck."
"Gray. Focus."
"And you know, I could never look at her the same way I look at you and Lucy. I mean, she's in love with me, so of course our relationship would be different. But after moving in together her, I've started to have…stirrings."
"Stirrings?"
"Yes. Stirrings. So I knew what was happening. It's been here for a while but I thought it was just because we were spending so much time together. This morning was just. Fuck. Her fucking eyes oh my god."
"What happened this morning?"
"And the kitchen was a mess and she was laughing and –"
"Well? What happened?" she coaxed excitedly.
"I almost kissed her." Erza stopped speaking, and Gray knew he had finally surprised her.
"What do you mean almost?!" she screeched.
"Seriously? That's what you're reacting to?"
"Do you know how it feels for a girl when you almost kiss her?" she raged. "She wonders what's wrong with her. She wonders if her breath stinks or if there's something in her teeth. She'll think that it was only a spur of the moment thing, because you're already there but you pull back because you don't actually like her. And then you make up some shitty lie about having a fiancée so then she's really going to think you don't like her. But no, you're actually just this really clueless, really inconsiderate, stupid piece of –"
"…Jellal pulled this on you too, didn't he?"
She proceeded to scream at him, and it made Gray feel a little. It was comforting that he wasn't necessarily the biggest idiot on the continent.
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Telling Erza about his feelings for Juvia proved to be pleasantly cathartic for Gray. Now he had someone to rant to whenever Juvia was being obnoxiously adorable. Unfortunately for Erza, this happened to be every waking second of the day.
"Her legs, man. Every part of her is amazing, of course, but her legs. She came out in a pair of white shorts this morning to do some gardening and I pretty much died."
"Does she still have those? They were my birthday gift for her last year," Erza said, trying to steer the conversation to a more family-friendly direction.
"Then you're indirectly responsible for the heart attack I almost suffered."
"I think I liked you better when your feelings caused you inner turmoil," Erza grumbled, but the jab was half-hearted. This was a big step for Gray. He wasn't someone overly fond of talking about emotions, or even having emotions to begin with. "When do you plan to tell her?"
Gray rubbed the back of his neck. "It isn't a good time to start anything. Maybe after this E.N.D. business and when I'm not a wreck. She deserves that."
"I understand. I just want you to think about this; occupational hazard is the entire job description. There's never really going to be a 'good time.' And that doesn't stop time from passing."
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"And there's this guy, Jerome. He has this sword with some sort of corrosive on it. I think you could take him, but the thing that worries me about this guy is that he has dirt on everyone. He does his research. It's a matter of time before he gets suspicious."
"I see. We'll discuss how to deal with him tomorrow. Good work," she told him, and then she hung up.
He'd been gone for a week. That was the longest he'd ever been away, but he needed to work on gaining their trust. He wasn't in deep yet, so he still hadn't been offered the privilege of a bunk at the base, but it he expected it to happen soon.
Gray caught sight of his reflection in the window. He looked the part, and given how much respect he garnered in Avatar, he played the part well. He smoothed down his hair and waited for the marks to disappear before quietly entering.
Juvia was fast asleep on the couch. She was clad in one of his old shirts, and it was much too big for her, reaching up to her thighs. Gray gently hooked his arms underneath her legs and her back, cradling her against him. His stomach lurched as he noticed the dark circles around her eyes. She'd been crying. She'd been waiting for him.
He laid her on her bed and spread the sheets over her. Giving in to the urge to reach out and touch her, he brushed the bangs away from her eyes. It calmed him to simply stand there and listen to the sound of her soft breaths. She snored every now and then, ungracefully, as though there was something caught in her throat. He really did love her.
It doesn't stop time from passing.
"Just a little longer, okay?" he whispered, more to himself than the sleeping girl before him.
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At six in the morning, Wednesday, Gray received his first Code Red call from Erza. He'd barely touch the 'answer' button when, "I think I'm pregnant!"
What great news to wake up to, Erza, congratulations. "You're WHAT?" He felt a bit bad that his instinctual first thought was shit, she spawns.
"I just had my period a week before waking up in bed with Jellal so I don't know if I'm late or not, but I've been throwing up a lot." Never in his life had he even once desired to know anything about her menstrual cycle, her sex life, or her digestive refluxes.
"You're always harping on me about having premarital sex with Juvia but apparently you've been doing the nasty with your own blunette? Hypocrite."
"Shut up," she hissed at him. "It was one time. We were very drunk, and I think Meredy put something in our drinks –are you having premarital sex with Juvia?"
"If I were, I wouldn't have answered the phone," he replied harshly, rubbing his temples. It was too early for this. He wished Erza would stop calling to scream at him about hypothetically besmirching Juvia's virtue. The migraine it caused prevented him from doing more important things. Like actually besmirching Juvia's virtue. "I'm going back to bed. Tell me if there are going to be mini-Erzas running around anytime soon."
"No!" she shrieked so loudly that he nearly dropped his phone.
"Stop screaming," he groaned.
"Stop complaining. I'm very stressed, and the idea of being stressed because of hormone imbalance is making me even more stressed," Erza babbled. "I need a drink."
"The fuck, if you actually are pregnant then you're not supposed to drink! Ugh. What do you want me to do?" he asked, finally giving in. It was no use. She'd bully him until he did what she wanted.
"Meet me at the address I'm going to send. Also, I need you to buy me a box of pregnancy tests. See you in two hours." This was not in the job description.
"Don't you dare hang up on –YOU BETTER NAME THE THING AFTER ME, GODDAMNIT."
A/N: In the end, it was just food poisoning from spoiled strawberry cake. Lol this turned out longer than I expected. Wow, I have no idea why 15 year old me wasted so much time torturing dbag Gray. Dorky, lovestruck Gray is so much more fun to play with. Also I will never characterize Erza Scarlet decently so Jesus take the wheel.
Thank you for reading this mess! Please feel free to tell me whatever you thought about it through a review. I'd love to hear from you. Also, I've got chapter with Love Guru Juvia planned, so if you want some love advice from her, go ahead and send your situation /question through the reviews or through an ask on my Tumblr.