Alright here it is! I apologize that this comes so late, but not long after I posted the first chapter I had a lot of problems crop up at work and then my uncle passed away. It's been tough but now I'm ready to come back to this and I hope that I won't leave you all hanging for so long again. Enjoy this and please review!
Notes: This chapter is all Merlin-centered, not OUAT this time. I needed to set this up properly for the next few chapters but don't worry we'll be getting back to our favorite mixed up fairy tale heroes and villains soon!
Also, for the sake of the narrative I've moved Merlin's timeline of events around a bit. We're still set in 2x01 The Curse of Cornelius Sigan but for my purposes just pretend that it comes after 2x02 The Once and Future Queen. I don't recall any shatteringly vital reason for Sigan to come first so I'm moving it.
The next morning Merlin woke bleary eyed and aching to the sound of crying. He lay there confused for a moment before memories of the previous night came flooding back and he jolted out of bed so quickly that the covers tangled around him and he fell to floor with a thump. He bit back a curse as his head smacked into the rough stone floor.
"Merlin? What are you doing in there?" Gaius' voice drifted through the door. He'd obviously heard the noise from clear into the workshop.
"Nothing, just thought I'd start the day off with a bang." Merlin wheezed trying to untangle himself from the cocoon of blankets.
"Well hurry up, you've got a busy morning ahead of you." Gaius' voice grew faint as he walked away from the door and Merlin sighed as he finally managed to pull himself out of the tangle of sheets. He rubbed at the back of his head where a lump was beginning to form as he stumbled into the workroom to see Gaius feeding Emma who suckled greedily from a bottle that he'd fashioned for her.
"It's not perfect but it'll do for now. You may have to see if any of the new mothers here would be willing to wet nurse for her but this will keep her for the moment." Gaius said when he saw Merlin's gaze lingering over the baby in his arms. Merlin started and a blush crept into his cheeks at the thought. It would be mortifying to have to approach any of the castle servants with such a request but as he looked down at Emma he knew that he'd do it. She gurgled happily as she finished her meal and Gaius motioned for Merlin to take her. Merlin hesitated as Gaius held her out to him until the old man sighed.
"You chose to take her on Merlin, you'll have to hold her sooner or later." He said glaring at his young charge.
"I know, it's just – what if I drop her? I've never held a baby before." Merlin held his arms for her just the same and Gaius showed him how to support her properly before bustling over to the kettle that held their breakfast. As he stirred Merlin watched Emma yawn and snuggle into her blanket for a nap.
"What are you going to call her? She can't be the child forever." Gaius asked turning to watch Merlin watching the baby. A soft smile came over the old man's face at the expression of wonder he saw in Merlin's eyes. For a boy who was so full of wonder himself it was a miracle the boy didn't realize how special he really was. He'd watched the boy grow into a fine young man over the past year and a half, but had also seen that carefree joy fading with each danger he escaped as he was wound ever more tightly into the destiny that had been foretold for him. Perhaps this child would help him to see that his worth was more than what was decreed by the hope of an ancient dying people. She could be the one to show him the worth in just being Merlin, not the savior of magic or the harbinger of a golden age. More than anything Gaius regretted that Merlin had been given such a burden so young. He mourned the loss of that innocent light in the boy's eyes and held hope that the little girl in his arms would help to put it back.
"Her name is Emma, it's on her blanket. It's the only thing she has of her family. I don't want to take that away from her." Merlin muttered looking up from the baby to stare at Gaius. There was a flicker of hurt in Merlin's eyes that Gaius realized was about the kindred feelings the boy shared with the orphaned child in his arms. Merlin had grown up with a loving mother, but he'd always been an outcast; first because of his fatherless status, then because of his magic. Suddenly Gaius understood why Merlin had bonded so fiercely with the little girl in the short hours they'd been together. Gaius walked over from the kettle and placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder.
"It's a fine name. I'm sure she'll do them proud, wherever they are. They'd be glad to know that someone like you is looking out for her." He added as he gazed down at the of the two them with a tear in his eye. He sniffed then, walking back to the kettle and rubbing at his cheek.
"I've brought some clothes for her as well. They're on the table. I changed her last night but you should put her in a clean one." He pointed at the pile of soft, baby sized tunics lying on the edge of the table with his spoon.
Merlin gaped in surprise at Gaius' sudden change of subject but as the older man turned back to stir the kettle he saw a glimmer of wetness on the wrinkled cheek and hid a smile.
"I'll change her after breakfast. She's quiet now and I don't want to disturb her." Merlin said as he rocked Emma gently in his arms. Her eyes were starting to droop now that her belly was full and she was cradled against his chest. He could feel the slight rise and fall of her breathing and marveled at the sensation until Gaius set a bowl of porridge in front of him.
"Eat. You won't be any good if you fall over from hunger." Gaius admonished. Merlin ducked his head in response. It was true that he often skipped meals, as he always had so much to do but he listened and after tucking Emma back into her basket dug into his porridge with gusto. After helping to clear away the dishes he turned to the pile of clothes that Gaius had lain out and started sorting through them. They were mostly variations on the same, as patterns for baby shifts were fairly unadorned for everyone except but nobles. He sorted them into color piles thinking about what would look best on her without even wondering why his thoughts had turned down that avenue. It seemed only natural that he wanted Emma to look her best even if she'd never know.
"Have you thought of how you're going to explain her presence yet?" Gaius asked interrupting his thoughts. Before he could answer the older man continued.
"If Uther knows she's a foundling he'll give her to the orphanage. You won't be able to help her then and she'll be lucky if she lives three years." Gaius muttered grimly.
Merlin grimaced at the thought. It was no secret that Gaius held a deep contempt for the so-called caregiver who took in the orphaned children of Camelot. The old woman who ran it was given a stipend for each child's care by the king, but the death toll in the place was so high that most able bodied children escaped within weeks, to live on the streets or out in the forests. Those who couldn't run away or were too young to do so eventually succumbed to the harsh conditions without fail and very few of the children there were ever offered new homes due to their sickly natures. Every time the woman was confronted she had a new excuse and most often blamed magic users for the deaths of the children in her care. She had singlehandedly engineered the deaths of over twenty people in the last ten years as scapegoats for the lack of care toward her charges. With the deaths of children in the balance Uther never searched hard for the truth, happy to appease the people's bloodlust with the first likely culprit. Gaius had been campaigning for years to shut him down but Uther wouldn't hear of it, trusting him as a true and loyal subject to the crown.
"I don't know but I won't let that happen. I promised her I'd be here for her, that she wouldn't be alone. I won't break my promise." Merlin said.
The idea of Emma in that horrible place made his blood boil. No one was going to take her away from him he thought as he pulled the shift that Gaius had put on her last night, now stained with the overenthusiastic results of her meal, and began to wriggle her into a clean one. She gurgled unhappily as the cool air hit her skin and Merlin worked quickly, pulling her little arms through the openings in the cloth. The door flew open just as Merlin finished pulling the tiny shift over Emma's head.
"Merlin where are you? You're late." Arthur boomed as he strode through the door. "Again."
Merlin turned slightly so that he could look at Arthur over his shoulder. He hadn't realized that it was so late in the morning, Emma had driven all thought of his duties straight out of his head.
"Would you care to explain where you were this morning? You were supposed to meet me at the stabl-" Arthur's voice dropped off as Merlin turned toward him, Emma cradled in his arms. Arthur's eyes widened as he spotted her and then he looked up at Merlin's face, then back down to Emma, then back up at Merlin.
"Merlin, why are you holding a baby?" He asked in a strangled voice.
Merlin looked at Arthur then at Gaius. The old man shrugged his shoulders almost imperceptibly and Merlin fought down a scowl. Some help he was being. Neither of them spoke, looking at Arthur as he stood there expectantly. Merlin shuffled from foot to foot until Emma began to fuss. He shushed her quietly then bent to lay her down in her makeshift crib, tucking her in gently. He used the time to wrack his brain for an explanation that would satisfy Arthur.
"Merlin?" He can hear the impatience in Arthur's voice. It was now or never, if he botched this Emma would be on her own and he'd have failed her.
"Well you see sire," Merlin mumbled, tripping over his words as he frantically tried to come up with a story. Arthur crossed his arms and began tapping on foot against the floor impatiently.
"No I don't see. All I see is my manservant playing with a strange child when he should have been readying my horse for a hunt. What is going on?" Arthur growled.
Merlin bit his lip. There was nothing for it; it was the only thing that would save her. He opened his mouth to speak.
"I'm waiting." Arthur was glowering at him now in a way that made Merlin almost relish what was about to come next.
"She's my daughter!" He declared settling himself on the bench in front of Emma's basket.
Complete silence. Arthur's mouth dropped open, both eyebrows raised so high that they nearly disappeared into his hair. Merlin chanced a look at Gaius only to see that he mirrored the prince's stunned surprise. He bit his lip to keep from smiling at the both of them looking like gasping fish.
Arthur opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. Merlin watched him sheepishly trying to contain a laugh. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Arthur at a loss for words. After a moment Arthur seemed to get hold himself though because a look of suspicion bloomed on his face.
"Merlin, when did you find time to even court a girl, let alone become a father? And what girl would find a buffoon like you attractive? " Arthur asked.
"Just because you don't find me attractive doesn't mean that no one else does." Merlin shot back. "Just ask Gwen, she seemed to like me well enough when I first got here."
Arthur's eyes narrowed and Merlin reveled in the small victory. Arthur's new crush on Gwen provided him no end of amusement and now he was finding it useful as a distraction. Arthur chewed his lip for a moment before throwing his hands up in the air.
"If you're not going to tell me the truth –"
"It is the truth! I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't know." Merlin said all trace of amusement gone. An idea had come to him in the moment of laughter over Arthur's crush. If he'd understand anything at the moment it was unrequited love.
"It was back in Ealdor, when we went to fight Canaan's men." Merlin face fell as the memory of that day came to mind. He could still see Will throwing himself in front of the arrow that had been meant for Arthur and it brought tears to his eyes even now. He felt even worse knowing that he was using Will's memory to fool Arthur but it was to keep Emma safe. Besides, he vaguely that Will would have approved, he would've boxed Merlin's ears if he'd ever found out that he'd abandoned a child when he could save it. They both knew all too well what it felt like to be alone. Merlin said a silent prayer to Will as he sank down onto the bench beside Emma's basket and hung his head.
The sound of shuffling feet met his ears and Merlin realized that Arthur was had come towards him. It wasn't until a hand fell on his shoulder that he realized how close Arthur had gotten. Merlin raised his head and was taken aback at the look of sympathy on the other man's face.
"What was her name?" Arthur asked gently.
Emma chose that moment to make a burbling sound in her sleep and Merlin let a small smile cross his face. This part was easy, he'd actually had a crush on a girl in the village before he'd come to Camelot. They'd been friends as small children until his magic had become noticeable enough that her parents forbade her from speaking to him. He'd still been smitten with her though nothing had ever come of it, him being such an outcast, but he'd always thought her eyes had followed him as they worked in the fields together or when he'd walk through the green. She'd always had a secret smile for him when her parents weren't looking.
"Mary." Merlin said. He remembered seeing her after the fight, bruised and bleeding but still standing, her dark golden hair tangled and dirty. His mother had kept him updated on her condition knowing how he'd felt about her. She'd come down with an infection from her wounds and passed away not long after. He'd wanted to go to her when he'd gone back home. He knew her parents had been killed during one of Canaan's earlier raids, but there hadn't been time. Now there never would be. Their trip to Ealdor had been a little over eight months ago but hopefully Arthur wouldn't question him too closely. If he could convince him now, he probably wouldn't even send anyone to check out the story. He glanced down at Emma and realized that she was smaller than most babies so perhaps he could say she'd been early if Arthur did question it?
"Where is she? Why isn't she here?" Arthur kept his voice soft but Merlin could hear the steel behind the question. He understood the meaning but didn't look the other man in the eye as he confirmed Arthur's fears.
"Her mother's dead. I'm all she has in the world." Merlin said. He meant to leave it at that but before he knew it more words were tumbling out of his mouth, they were out before he could stop them and he hoped they wouldn't come back to haunt him later.
"She was on her way here when she went into labor. The man who brought Emma to me, he said she died on the way. I'm lucky that I didn't lose them both." He wiped away the tears that were sliding down his cheeks, brought on by the thought of both his childhood friends dead.
"I'm sorry." Arthur muttered. Merlin nodded but didn't look up.
"Take the day off, I can handle myself for one day." Arthur said.
Merlin's shoulders shook with sudden laughter and he couldn't stop the smile creeping over his face.
"You? Take care of yourself? You didn't hit your head this morning when you got out of bed all on your own did you?" Merlin quipped, laughing as the tears began to slow. Arthur scoffed and cuffed him gently across the head
"Go spend time with your daughter. I'll see you tomorrow." Arthur glanced at the sleeping baby for a moment before nodding at him and striding out of the room. When the door closed behind him Merlin let out a sigh.
"Well done. I never knew you could act so well."
Merlin started at the sound of Gaius' voice. He'd forgotten the other man was there.
"Yeah, neither did I." Merlin bit his lip and looked at his mentor.
"Quick thinking that, using a girl from Ealdor, but what if Arthur asks after her?" Gauis asked.
Merlin shook his head.
"It won't matter. She died after the fight with Canaan, her parents not long before. I'll write to mother, she'll waylay anyone who comes questioning. Did I tell you that they look up to her now? After she brought us to help them? She's a regular hero in their eyes."
Gaius shook his head fondly.
"That doesn't surprise me. Hunith always was tougher than she looked. I'll watch her for a bit, go write your mother. The sooner you send that letter the safer you'll both be."
Merlin went to grab pen and paper reflecting on how he'd tell her what had happened. His mother had always wanted a grandchild but he wasn't sure she was prepared for this. He'd have to word it carefully in case the letter was intercepted. Anything even hinting at magic would have him on the block before he could blink. He shook his head as he realized that this was another secret he'd have to keep from Arthur. They just never seemed to stop piling up. Even if he couldn't share it with anyone else maybe one day he could share the truth with Emma, if she even wanted to know.
Well, Arthur came off as a bit more of a prat than intended there for a moment but I feel he redeemed himself in the end. He was my favorite part about this chapter and I hope I did him justice. Please review if you enjoyed, you're feedback helps me know what I'm doing right and where I need to improve. As always thanks for reading!