Chapter 2
"Well, no husband of mine is going out in public smelling like hot sauce." Karen said.
Plankton became incredibly agitated with Karen. What if he liked smelling like hot sauce? What if smelling like hot sauce was a part of who he was as a microorganism? Why should he have to change who he is to fit society's messed up anti-hot sauce standards?
"Darn flabbit, Karen! What if I want to smell like hot sauce? It is my right as a citizen of America to smell like whatever I want to smell like." Plankton screamed.
"Plankton you know we don't live in America, so don't pull that nonsense on me. I am your wife!"
Karen was very mad at Plankton by this point, and Plankton was unrelenting on his position. He knew, however, that Karen being mad at him over the whole hot sauce ordeal was going to put a strain on his marriage, and that just wasn't fair to the children. Not his children, just children in general. Plankton had one more argument that he was sure would at least make Karen not mad at him anymore.
"Look Karen, if I am smelling like hot sauce because I bathed in hot sauce, it is clearly because this is what the Lord has intended. You cannot argue with that!"
"I may not be able to, but I know someone who can!"
Karen dragged Plankton forcibly to the Bikini Bottom Jesus Church of the Lord. She brought him there so he could talk to the preacher. The Planktons had admittedly never been to the church before, but churches are only for when you need them, like on Easter or Christmas Eve, so Karen did not feel it would be wrong to burden the preacher with Plankton's hot sauce issues. They reached the cathedral, which was very large and seemed almost familiar, like it was a mildly famous Cathedral stolen from a former Soviet State. But Karen shook off the feeling and proceeded into the chapel to meet the preacher.
"Hello! Is anyone here? My husband is having a hot sauce related issue that he believes is caused by the Lord and I need a preacher to exorcise him or whatever!"
Suddenly, a figure arose out of the darkness and began walking towards the couple.
"Hello! Hello? Are you the preacher here? You see, Sheldon over here is having a hot sauce crisis and he needs the help of a Godly man."
"Karen, don't give out my first name! That is private information that is only shared between a married couple. A carnal knowledge of a moniker, if you will." Plankton stated.
"Plankton what would you even know about the joys of the flesh with a wife, I am literally a computer on a pole on wheels. Have you been cheating on me?! Seriously, after all we have been through, after I helped you get clean when you had that Krabby Patty addiction?"
"Krabby Patty? Sheldon? Karen?! PLANKTON?" The mysterious figure said still standing in the dark, unable to be seen.
"Yeah that's literally what she just said, you hula hoop!" Plankton angrily shouted.
"Well, well, well. Looks like the Plankton couple is having marriage troubles, hmm? I really couldn't expect more from a marriage to such a sinner! Karen, you are well aware of your husband's, shall I say, transgressions, aren't you?"
"Of course, I mean, everyone knows that Plankton was involved in a Ponzi scheme which cost people millions-"
"Your husband's a thief! And a right terrible one, too!"
The mysterious figure stepped into the light, revealing him to be Mr. Eugene Krabs.