"I hate to be a downer and all, but I hope you have a good plan." Killian grumbled.
"You bet I do." Rosalie said confidently from the prow of the little boat. "However I may dislike the fact that Morcant won that last round, I cannot deny that I learned some valuable information."
"Like what?" Ozzy asked. Rosalie smiled mischievously.
"Sometimes it pays to have a father who was a wandmaker," She said. "Morcant's wand is made of gopher wood with a blackdragon whisker core."
"And what exactly does that mean?" Adam questioned.
"Gopher wood is exceptionally powerful, but it has a nasty habit of causing spells to backfire when the wand owner gets frustrated."
"So the plan is to make Morcant so frustrated that he slips up?" Ozzy inquired. "And how are we to do that?" Rosalie grinned.
"We have a secret weapon." She said, pointing towards the back of the boat. Everyone turned and stared at Accordion Girl as she made crazy faces at Gypsy.
"Oh, well, yeah, it shouldn't too hard for her to infuriate Morcant…"
"Our plan is hoping Accordion Girl frustrates Morcant enough that his spell backfires and doesn't kill her?" Adam frowned.
"Do you have a better idea?" Rosalie countered.
"'Suppose not."
"Right then," Rosalie said cheerfully. "Now that we have it all in order, all we have to do is wait for Alfred to get in position." Moments later, the Night Swan dropped from the clouds and swooped low over the Day Hawk. There was an angry roar from the enemy ship, and the crew in the little boat had a perfect view of Morcant dashing about on the deck in a rage. Adam gave the boat a tap with his wand, and they stealthily sped forward towards the Day Hawk.
The small boat silently pulled up next to the Day Hawk, where it sat dwarfed by the imposing vessel. Due to the commotion on deck, no one noticed the tiny ship as it bumped against the hull. Ghostlike, the small crew clambered up the wooden hull and into cover. Ozzy pointed towards a large wooden hatch and hissed a few words to his companions.
"Down there is the bridge, that's where Andel and Diane will be."
"Righty then," Rosalie whispered. "Stay low, once we have got Morcant's attention, then you can head in."
"Got it. Whenever you're ready..."
"Get out the cannons, you useless pondscum!" Morcant bellowed, spittle flying madly from the corners of his mouth. He turned and shook his fist at the Night Swan, his eyes wild. "You'll be shark bait before I'm through with you!"
"That's very scary coming from a pirate who couldn't kill a monkey with a shoe!" Alfred hollered back, mooning the villainous pirate.
"Merlin's Beard!" Adam yelped, turning away. "I did not want to see that!"
"Well, I dare say that Morcant did not either," Rosalie chuckled. "Alright, that's the signal, get ready Ozzy." Rosalie stood up and boldly marched out of hiding, flanked by Adam and Accordion Girl.
"What are you waiting for!" Morcant screeched at his crew below deck, leaning over the railing. "Fire those cannons!"
"CANNONS!" Accordion Girl squealed. Morcant whipped around and his jaw nearly dropped to the deck.
"Close your mouth, Morcant; you look like a codfish," Rosalie lazily drawled. "It's not an attractive look." Adam snorted as their opponent spluttered in anger.
"Enough of this! I almost killed you once, I can do it again!"
"And you are more than welcome to try again," Rosalie bowed. "But only if you defeat my secret weapon first."
Morcant gave a harsh cackle. "Oh, don't tell me your parrot is trained in the Dark Arts, now!"
"Well…." Rosalie tilted her head side to side. "Not quite." Rosalie and Adam stepped aside dramatically to reveal Accordion Girl who was standing behind them frantically trying to lick her elbow.
Morcant howled with laughter, pacing about the trio like a Wampus. "You want me to fight your ship mascot?" His back finally facing the hatch, Ozzy and Killian darted out from their cover and down into the depths of the ship.
"That's the general idea." Rosalie grinned.
The fearsome pirate snickered. "Well then, this'll actually be pretty fun. I love me a good murder in the afternoon. Prepare your, er, 'weapon'."
"Now, Accordion Girl, make sure you give us a good show." Rosalie winked.
"Okie-dokie!" Accordion Girl looked up from her accordion, a stormy look on her face. She slowly set the instrument on the deck, then drew her wand as she walked towards her opponent. Then she threw her left arm in front of her face, with her right angled up, pointing her wand at the sky.
"What's that supposed to be?" Morcant tilted his head. Adam and Rosalie tried and failed to conceal their laughter.
"Sorry Morcant, we don't know either."
Accordion Girl whirled her wand and pointed it at her foe. "Alarte ascendare!" Morcant snarled and lifted his own wand.
"Protego!"
The first spell slammed into the shield and deflected off, hurtling off towards one of Morcant's crew members. It hit him full on and sent him spiralling into the air and off the ship.
"Oops…" Accordion Girl looked around, startled.
"Score!" Rosalie crowed. Morcant shot a glare her way and turned back to his younger opponent.
"Lacarnum inflamari!" With the pirate's words, a fireball materialized from the tip of his wand and sailed towards Accordion Girl.
"Aquamenti!" She countered, sending a jet of water to extinguish the fireball. With a sudden pop, Alfred apparated next to Rosalie and Adam.
"I had to come and watch," he explained. "This is shaping up to be one of the best duels in history."
"Indeed it is," Adam nodded. "Ooh, this'll be good!"
Accordion Girl thrust her wand out. "Dimi… uh… innuendo!"
"Wait, she messed that up." Rosalie whispered. "It's diminuendo, not whatever that was."
"It won't work…" Adam replied softly.
Yet Accordion Girl had evidently done something right, for Morcant began to shrink down to the size of a doll. A high pitched squeak, evidently a counterspell, rose up from the tiny form. Morcant's transformation reversed, and he was at full size once again.
"Well, what do you know…" Rosalie murmured.
"Levicorpus!" Morcant shrieked. While his size had returned, his voice had not, and he now spoke in as if he had inhaled a large amount of helium. Accordion Girl found herself hanging upside down, suspended in the air.
"Liberacorpus!" She countered, dropping down to the deck. "Took you long enough to get me!"
A smile danced across Rosalie's face as Adam and Alfred bent over laughing. Morcant whirled on them. "Silence!"
The command only caused further laughing. Morcant simmered, then opened his mouth to speak. Accordion Girl's voice cut him off before he could start. "Anteoculatia!"
"Protego!" Morcant squeaked again, sending the spell ricocheting off. Just then, Killian emerged from below deck with Ozzy and his friends in tow. The spell hit him dead in the forehead, causing his hair to transform into antlers.
"Bloody hell! What did you do to me?" Killian shouted, rubbing his head. Ozzy grabbed him and yanked him away from the duel.
"Sorry!" Accordion Girl peeped, then turned back to Morcant. "Ebublio!"
A flurry of bubbles erupted from the tip of her wand and swarmed across her opponent's face, some popping on his nose and others sticking in his goatee. He let loose several oaths and swatted the rest away.
"Good one!" Alfred shouted.
"Ducklifors!" Accordion Girl's wand aimed at Morcant, but instead of the intended effect, they all found themselves watching a barrel transform into a duck. It waddled between the combatants, looked about, quacked a few times and then flew off the side of the ship.
"Was that supposed to happen?" Adam frowned. Rosalie shrugged.
Morcant drew himself up and pointed his wand at Accordion Girl, who had her hands on her hips and attempting to dance. "Epoximise!"
Accordion Girl found herself rooted to the ground, her legs frozen in the midst of a dance step. She smiled, for an idea was forming in her head. "Tarantallegra!"
Against his will, Morcant began to dance, moving rapidly and striking his feet against the wooden planks of the deck. Several minutes later, amidst raucous laughter, the spell wore off. Grimacing, the pirate recomposed himself.
"I'm going to crush you, girl, like a bug!" Morcant growled and lifted his wand. "Limaxmorphis!"
Instead of casting the spell normally, it burst out from the back. He flew backwards, shifting and transforming into something quite small. Soon the transformation was complete, and a rather ugly, brightly colored sea slug flopped against the railing and rolled off into the sea.
Everyone stared in shock, except for Accordion Girl, who was giggling loudly.
"Well I never!" Rosalie murmured.
"Dubious Dugbogs!" One of Morcant's hooligans hollered. "You's dead!" The crew of the Day Hawk reached for their wands and advanced upon their enemies.
"Flipendo!" Another goon snapped his wand up, sending a spell towards Killian. Distracted, he glanced up, only to be hurled through the air by the pirate's jinx. As he flew threw the air, the rest of the crew of the Night Swan sprinted towards Morcant's former employees. Killian flipped through the air, head over heels, and landed in Accordion Girl's arms.
"Good eye, mate!" Accordion Girl grinned and flipped up her eyepatch. Kilian gave a surprised yelp as she blinked two functional eyes at him, and he squirmed out of her arms.
Ozzy paused with his wand extended to stare at the two. "Oi, now that's something else… uh, nice eye you've got there, Accordion Girl."
"Thanks, 'eye' think so too!" She snapped the eyepatch back down and scampered off, stopping only to grab her accordion. Immediately she launched into a song as she ran back and forth across the deck, playing loudly behind the battle.
Spells flew back and forth, most being repelled or deflected. Adam aimed his wand and bellowed "Periculum!" Red sparks flew from its tip and struck one his opponents in the chest, pushing the man off the deck and into the waves. A few of the sparks popped through the air, then faded away.
"Accordion Girl!" Rosalie called. "I want you to levitate this ship!"
"Oh yay!" Her comrade yelled back, over the deafening sound of her accordion.
"Why her?!" Alfred groaned. "This isn't going to end well, lassie!"
"That's exactly the point!" Rosalie barked, a grin on her face.
"Wingardium Leviosar!" Accordion Girl squealed, removing her wand from a compartment on her instrument. She made a vague motion with it and struck a pose. Instead of levitating the ship, Accordion Girl's spell caused several tongues of flame to erupt from the deck. Smoke plumed up through the air as the flames spread across the ship. "OH YAY!"
Morcant's minions looked about in terror and ran towards the railing. One after the other they leapt overboard to escape the flames.
"Someone grab Accordion Girl!" Adam hollered. "We all know she can't apparate!"
"I'm on it!" Rosalie shouted as she ran towards Accordion Girl, who was performing the chicken dance in front of the flames. Rosalie tackled her friend and popped away. The others followed in turn, vanishing from the deck to reappear on the Night Swan.
Behind them the Day Hawk burned, the flames now completely covering the ship. Cheers filled the air, Accordion Girl's loud "Yippee!" standing out from the rest. Rosalie grinned and made her way over to where Ozzy and Andel were slapping each other on the back, Diane hanging off Ozzy's arm.
"Ah, and here is our brilliant Captain I was telling you about." Ozzy winked at her approach.
"Captain Rosalie, at your service," She said, performing her signature sweeping bow. There was a croaky squawk, and Gypsy landed on Rosalie's shoulder. "So, you must be Andel and Diane," she said, stroking Gypsy's glistening feathers. "Ozzy's told me a lot about you two."
"Oh, really?" Andel snorted and raised an eyebrow at Ozzy. "Both of us, or just her?"
"Both, actually," Ozzy laughed.
"I admit, I am very surprised."
Ozzy rolled his eyes and punched Andel in the arm. His friend chuckled and looked aside at Rosalie, as the captain took a step forwards.
"You know, I could use two more scallywags on my ship," Rosalie winked, flicking her brown curls back. "And any friends of Ozzy's are more than welcome."
"What do you think? Sounds like a good deal." Andel looked at his sister. She shrugged.
"No complaints here!"
"That's great and all," Killian snapped from behind Rosalie. "But has no one noticed that I STILL HAVE THESE BLOODY ANTLERS?"
"Oh…" Rosalie grimaced and turned to the glowering pirate as the crew roared with laughter. "Right… does anyone know the counterspell?" Killian spluttered indignantly as the crew shrugged and shook their heads, laughing at his predicament.
"Sorry, laddie," Alfred chortled as Ozzy bent double with laughter. "I've seen my fair share of spells, but nothin' like the stuff I've just seen spouting for Accordion Girl's wand!"
"Don't you fret now, my prong-horned friend," Rosalie howled, wiping tears from her eyes. "I'll have those gone in a jiffy."
"In a jiffy?" Killian screeched. "I thought you said you didn't know the countercurse!"
"On the count of three…"
"No, wait!"
"One!" Adam grinned.
"No, it's ok, really!"
"Two!" Ozzy shouted.
"Hang on-"
"THREE!" Accordion Girl squealed.
"Arboreis Apage!" Rosalie bellowed. Killian yelped, and his antlers vanished with a pop. He frantically felt his head, then relaxed once he made sure that he was antler-free.
"Ugh, it's going to take a lot of drinks to forget that!" Killian grumbled, and the crew howled with laughter.
"Then it sounds like a stop at The Eighth Child is in order!" Alfred winked.
"Righty-o, you heard him, men!" Rosalie cried, climbing a ways up the shrouds. "To Octavia it is! So, lift that anchor, will ya?" The crew cheered and faster than you could say terrible terrorsquid, the Night Swan was sailing once more.
"I daresay this calls for a celebration!" Adam grinned.
"A splendid idea!" Rosalie laughed. "Killian, Accordion Girl, Ozzy! Fetch those instruments of yours!"
"Aye aye, Captain!" Killian saluted her.
"HA HA HA, ACCORDIONS!" Accordion Girl trilled excitedly.
Rosalie snorted ungracefully at the startled looks that had appeared on Andel and Diane's faces. "Then in honor of our two newest crew members, would one of the Watters like to choose a song?"
"Well," Diane said, a smile spreading across her face. "I've always liked Wizards of the Sea."
"Excellent choice!" Rosalie roared, and conducting the crew with her wand, she led them in a rousing chorus as the Night Swan sailed off into the setting sun.
"With a hi hi ho and a hi hi hey!
We're hoisting the crest to be free
We will steal the show, Hogwarts go
We are Wizards of the Sea
Don't try to run, it's all said and done
There's a treasure in sight
We are robbing you blind I hope you don't mind
We are taking it all tonight
Just walk away we will conquer it all
Pirates will stand and the loser will fall
With a hi hi ho and a hi hi hey
We're bound to be close to the sea
Our captain will stand on the bridge and sing
Pirates are all we can be
With a hi hi ho and a hi hi hey!
We're hoisting the crest to be free
We will steal the show, Hogwarts go
We are Wizards of the Sea
Down to the core we're coming for more
With a wand close at hand
We are scary and bold, with a chest full of gold
We get sea legs when sighting land
The wand of our captain is pointing at you
There's no Vindictus Viridian so what can you do
With a hi hi ho and a hi hi hey
We're bound to be close to the sea
Our captain will stand on the bridge and sing
Pirates are all we can be
With a hi hi ho and a hi hi hey!
We're hoisting the crest to be free
We will steal the show, Hogwarts go
We are Wizards of the Sea
With a hi hi ho and a hi hi hey
We're bound to be close to the sea
Our captain will stand on the bridge and sing
Pirates are all we can be
With a hi hi ho and a hi hi hey!
We're hoisting the crest to be free
We will steal the show, Hogwarts go
We are Wizards of the Sea
With a hi hi ho and a hi hi hey
We're bound to be close to the sea
Our captain will stand on the bridge and sing
Pirates are all we can be
With a hi hi ho and a hi hi hey!
We're hoisting the crest to be free
We will steal the show, Hogwarts go
We are Wizards of the Sea
We are Wizards of the Sea!
HEY!"
Author's Note:
The song is based on Pirates of the Sea's song Wolves of the Sea, albeit the Alestorm version. Changes by Frederic Axel Rorland.