"Problems with friends…"

Day: 190

Gary "Roach" Sanderson

Task Force 141

Unknown

I have bad social luck, and at this point in my life I've come to terms with it. It is still a pain in my ass, no matter how old I got. It just seemed that no matter how hard I tried, I was always going to be surrounded by idiots. At least they were the loveable kind.

I watched as Zach, one of the newer recruits stood next to Scarecrow as the older of the two tried to explain the ropes. Zach was fresh out of the Navy Seals. He was considered one of the best on his team. He was smart which he proved by outsmarting Scarecrow, who was trying to trick the man at every turn.

MacTavish checked out the data from our latest raid. His grey eyes were trained themselves on his PDA, and I wondered if he was secretly just trying to block the other two men out.

Zach put a hand on his hip and frowned at Scarecrow. "I don't think that's true. Archer doesn't seem like a bad guy to me. Sure he's a little rough around the edges but… I mean we all have our issues, ya know?" He said with a huff, and his face turned a strange shade of red.

Scarecrow continued on, completely oblivious to the man's sudden change in tone. "I'm not so sure. I think he's just old and grumpy."

I stood next to MacTavish, who chose to fiddle with his PDA. He leaned up against a nearby tree looking rather comfortable and normal for being in war zone. He was dressed in issued cargo jeans that had three pairs of issued dog tags that had been clipped to his pants. He also wore our issued jacket that was green, and it fit him rather snuggly. He had his mic up and his gun hung haphazardly at his side. He seemed rather relaxed for where we at, and if it wasn't for the rifle, and explosives strapped to his hip he could have been a tourist.

I thought about Wings for a moment, thankful that my helmet was on as my face began to heat up. I wasn't sure why Wings had ran across my mind at the time, but I still thought of him. He'd been a little strange since our kiss, and I wondered if he regretted it at all. He was constantly avoiding me, or at least that was how it seemed. We naturally didn't have training together, but if I tried to stop him in the mess hall, or even try to sit in the same room with him, he would make some strange excuse and leave.

I at first, was inclined to believe him. I just figured he was having some kind of personal dilemma. Maybe a family member was ill, or he was finally starting to feel the pressure of war and was trying to adjust. I didn't want to pry, but I didn't quite understand what we were. Boyfriends didn't usually kiss me, and then avoid me unless they were assholes. I kept thinking it had to be he was truly busy, but even still… shouldn't he tell me when something is bothering him?

Then there was the nightmares. Everyone was different, and new. Some nights I would wake to find myself alone in my bed, and him gone. I never asked where he went, choosing to simple let him have his space. However I was curious as any normal person could be. Other nights I would wake startled as he would give a rather fearful yell and fling himself out of bed. Every time he would leave, but I still didn't ask.

For the most part we had been good. We kissed and held hand making sure not to be noticed by the others. It was harder to explain it to them, and personally I didn't want any of them to know. The only person I knew could have possible guessed it decided to keep it quiet, only giving me knowing glances and soft smiles. That person was Zach.

I wasn't sure how he had discovered out little secret, and I wasn't even a hundred percent sure he knew. Thought he had to know something.

"Aye," I blinked as MacTavish's voice broke my thoughts. He slipped his PDA away in his sleeve and closed his eyes. His face reminded me of anytime he and Ghost were having one of their infamous bickering fights. He looked annoyed and I was half expecting him to pull his fingers to his nose. "Scarecrow, leave the lad alone. We lose more members from your jokes then in battle."

Scarecrow didn't blink, but a cheeky grin came across his face. He didn't say anything, but he did bow as if happy about what MacTavish had said. Scarecrow was one of our oldest members, but if you asked anyone, we would all tell you to avoid him unless you were trained. He had straw like blonde hair which never seemed to be brushed of kept neat. He had deep brown eyes which were always shiny with mischief and I was sure the only thing the man thought about was how to prank his next victim.

MacTavish rolled his eyes and pulled out a cigarette from his front pocket placing it in his mouth. He patted around for his lighter, but quickly gave up looking even more annoyed then he had before.

"I'm going to murder Ghost when I get back. Damn bastard never returns my lighter." He said leaving the cigarette in between his lips letting out a sharp sigh.

Scarecrow went back to messing around with Zach, who ignored him in favor of smiling at me. Zach was a little strange, but I felt myself growing to like him each day. He talked a lot, but he wasn't loud about it. He had a soft calming voice, which was strange for a man in his line of work. He had brown hair which was always cut short on the sides, and longer on top. He always had it styled and done up nice. He had green eyes which were always sparkling with curiosity and wonder. He reminded me of a kid with his innocent demeanor that never faltered on him.

After what felt like the longest minute in the world MacTavish stood up tossing the cigarette aside, not really caring that he wasted it. "Let's head out. Evac will arrive in ten." He opened his eyes wide, and stared at all of us. "No messin' around, got it? I've lost three others here today, and I want the rest of you asshats home. Are we clear?"

I nodded and Zach gave MacTavish a rather excited nod. Scarecrow just grinned and MacTavish rolled his eyes at us.

)-(

Zach huffed angrily at Scarecrow as we sat with the rest of our men in the debriefing room. Scarecrow just smiled at him as if completely oblivious that he was making fun of the younger man.

"… So then I look over and Zach is picking himself off the floor. Took 'imself a bullet to the vest. His face was hilarious." Scarecrow said laughing as the few others that sat around laughed with him.

Zach glared at the other man, but turned his eyes over to the only other person in the room he cared about. I watched as his green gaze shyly trained itself on Archer, and then I realized. He was in the same position as me. He was able to put two and two together base on what he was experience.

I looked over at Archer, who sat at the other end of the table appearing to be bored, but I could see in his blue eyes the worry he was feeling. Archer had thick black hair which was littered with grey hair from the stress of the job. He was one of our best snipers, and was also one of the first members to make it into the task force. He rested his head on his hand trying to appear bored, but his eyes gave Zach all the words he needed to hear.

Zach smiled once again, and it was brighter than any before it. Scarecrow looked a little taken aback when Zach simply stuck his tongue at him. "At least I didn't rip my jeans on a twig. Tell me, is the breeze nice on your ass?" Zach asked chuckling happily before deciding he'd had enough of Scarecrow's jokes.

I stared at him curiously, and Zach noticed this giving me a smile. I found myself thinking of Wings in that moment. Zach looked a lot like him, but that wasn't what made me think of him. I wondered how Zach did it. How me managed to feel so reassured by Archer's eyes, rather than needing the physical contact. The more I thought about it the more it bugged me, and I frowned.

Zach noticed this, but it was Scarecrow who asked as he tossed a hand over my shoulder. "You 'kay Roach?"

I didn't answer him, and continued to glare at Zach, not really meaning to. I stood up, knocking Scarecrow's arm off of me. He looked slightly startled, but I didn't really notice as I trailed my eyes over every face in the group. Where the hell was Wings?

I knocked my chair backwards as I left the room, making sure to shove the door open with a startling force. I made my way to our room, but found it empty. I searched the mess hall, and the library finding them completely vacant of the blue eyed male. On my way to check the shooting range I ran into Ghost, who looked slightly surprised to see me.

"Eh, Bug? Back already? I bet you came to see Eve." He asked scratching his face from under his mask before readjusting it to fit.

I glared at him for a moment debating on whether or not I wanted to ask him, or continue one with my search. "I'm looking for Wings. Have you seen 'em?" I asked him and he lifted his glasses giving me a curious look.

"Uh… Yeah. What did he do?" He asked, and I thought I saw a hint of anger pass over his eyes, but he slid his glasses back down before I could get a good look.

"Nothing. Well I mean… he did… b-but… Look can you tell me where he is?" I rushed crossing my arms over my chest, and Ghost laughed at me.

"Yeah. He's in the med bay." Ghost said flatly, and my eyes widened in surprise. "He's fine. Just got a little banged up. He got jumped by a group of guys today, and had Eve not showed up and took one down… well… I doesn't matter. He's okay."

I turned my eyes to the ground, and I felt my fist clench as anger filled my chest. "D-did you catch them?"

Ghost pondered that for a rather long moment, even going as far as to put a finger on his chin. "Yes. We caught them, but I'm not at liberty to give the names out. Might cause the man of steel some trouble, yeah?" He said the last part with a laugh before putting a hand on my shoulder. "I got to go. Got to go round up the guys for running. I'll see ya latter okay?"

I nodded and before Ghost could walk away I mumbled softly. "Thank you…"

He smiled back at me, but didn't say anything back choosing to just walk away. Of course Ghost would have so nicely giving me the information I wanted. He gave me the name I wanted and did so without questioning it. Superman was going to pay, but before that I rushed off to the infirmary.

)-(

I took a deep drag off another cigarette, and felt my nerves calm. "I didn't hurt him. I never hurt Superman. I wanted to though. I wanted to find him and beat him within an inch of his life. I never did though."

Dr. Reed nodded her head slowly as she leaned against the railing uncaring how dirty it was. She had abandon her shoes off to the side and didn't seem to complain as her feet slapped against the wet ground. I was starting to think she had once been a country girl before being a doctor. "Well that is understandable. I would feel the same way if someone hurt John like that."

I shot her a curious glance, and she simply smiled at me as if waiting for me to ask. "Who's John?"

She chuckled a little bit before turning away from me to look out across the parking lot. "My… boyfriend." She said simply and I knew that was all she would give on the subject. "So you were angry? What did you do after that?"

I sighed and took another drag off my cigarette. I was happy that the rain had finally stopped, but the silence was starting to drive me crazy. "Well I went straight to the med bay to see Wings. He was a lot worse than Ghost had lead on. He was covered in bruises with cuts littering ever part of his face and… well you know. You did the report. What I wasn't expecting was MacTavish to be there…"

)-(

Wings looked horrid as I ran my eyes over every inch of his body. He had one black eye, and a busted lip which made my blood boil at the thought of someone hitting him. He had cuts and scrapes here and there, but what was really upsetting was the gash on the top of his forehead.

He smiled in relief when he saw me and he reached out timidly. "Gary… I- It is not as bad as it looks." He said trying to comfort me but I hushed him with a glare.

"You are covered in wounds. Don't try to be a hero." I said as I leaned over his bed examining his face closer.

He glanced away from me, and mumbled an apology. We sat in silence for a rather long moment, and I reached for his hand only to have him dodge it rather slyly with a little chuckle.

I tried my best to hide my irritation, but he picked up on this and gave me a sad smile. I opened my mouth to speak, but he quickly beat me to it.

"It's not that I don't want too. I just… What if someone sees, ya know? I mean I already take heat because I'm American…" He added really softly and I couldn't help the sigh that came from my mouth.

I reached over to one of the nearby visiting chairs and dragged it over to the side of the bed. I plopped down in the chair, and I quickly reached for Wings hand again. He let me take it this time and I smiled at this.

"I know. I just… When I found out… I was so…" I trailed off trying to think of the word. "Terrified."

Wings smiled and it was reassuring as I rubbed my thumb over his hand. He leaned back in his bed and seemed rather at ease about everything. He blinked at me with his good eye and we shared a comfortable silence.

"Who told you I was here?" Wings asked after a long moment as he tilted his head ever so slightly to look at me.

"I ran into Ghost while I was searching for you." I said and I watched his face distort into a frown. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing!" He said quickly pulling a smile to his face, and I gave him a look.

"Look… I wanted to talk to you about something. You've got to stop running from me." I said and he quickly looked away from me, leading me to believe I'd hit a nerve. "I get that I'm not an easy person to talk with. I don't talk, and deal with my emotions is a whole other ball park… But I'm always here for you… I… Please stop running from me."

Wings stayed very still for a moment, and I just looked at our entwined fingers feeling a since of dread. Maybe now wasn't the best time for this? I'm and idiot.

He turned to me and I was relieved to see a small smile on his lips. "I know. It's just… I'm used to dealing with these things on my own. I always handled my own problems. I don't want to burden you."

I laughed at him and he blushed a little looking rather cute. "Ryan. I think I love you." I said and he smiled at me once again looking relieved.

"I love you too." He said a grin across his face looking almost like Cheshire cat.

The moment was ruined when the nurse made her way into the room. Wings let go of my hand quickly, shooting me an apologetic look and I just gave me a soft smile in return.

"Eh?" The nurse said as made her way into the room. "Captain MacTavish. I was wondering when you were going to get here. He's cleared for desk duty only. You are here to sign his chart right?" The nurse asked completely unaware of the world that she just crushed.

"Aye… That's why I'm here." MacTavish said as he stood in the doorway, and I felt my heart sink into my stomach. His eyes revealed nothing to me as he passively looked down at the chart and signed it. "Get better eh Wings?"

He left quickly after that and Wings grabbed my shirt sleeve panicked. "Did he see us?" He whispered to me as the nurse fiddled around in the cabinets looking for the right medication to give Wings.

I opened my mouth, but words failed me for a long moment. Wings panicked eyes watched me as if gauging my reaction to what was going on. "No." I said with a soft reassuring smile, but I knew then it was a lie.

MacTavish had seen us.

)-(

Later that evening, I sat in the mess hall with Eve Riley. Eve was one of my oldest friends. She and I knew each other in high school, and she also introduced me to Ghost.

Eve was one of a kind. She was one of those old souls, who was wise for only being twenty-two years of age. She grew up with Simon and her oldest brother Tommy with their crazy father in Manchester. Eve managed to make it out relatively unharmed and even went as far as to say Ghost was the reason for this. After turning 18 Eve left home and quickly and with a little help from a strange man name Alex Mason, she was able to open up her inn.

She had long black hair which was usually tied back into a ponytail or even braided back depending on how she felt. It was rare to see it down, but not unheard of. She was wearing a long t-shirt that looked a little too big on her small frame, and a pair of jeans that had holes ripped in them from working. Eve was easy to get along with, and I couldn't think of anyone who didn't like her. She even had Shepherd wrapped, which still blew my mind as the man always seemed so angry.

Eve smiled at me as she swallowed down a bite of her food. "So… Gary. What brings you by so late?" She asked as her voice rang happily, letting her accent break through.

She was right. It was rather late, but I had skipped dinner to stay with Wings. I probably would have stayed there longer had the nurse not shooed me away claiming visiting hours where over.

"Eh? The food of course. Benny's the best cook around." I said and Eve laughed at this.

Benny gave me a thumbs up from behind the counter before disappearing in the back room. I turned back to her and asked quickly. "Why are you up so late?"

"Well… I missed my bus. Simon came to see me a few minutes before I was to leave. He was pretty down, but I think he will be okay." She said with a rather happy smile before taking another bite of her spaghetti.

I nodded slowly trying to think if Ghost had looked upset earlier when we had spoken, but came up with nothing. He had seemed fine.

She gave me a rather strange look. It wasn't curious or even knowing. She just looked at me with sadness in her face. I was going to ask about it, but she didn't seem like she would answer if I did.

"So… you save my friend earlier." I said trying to get the image of her eyes out of my head. "Ryan Stephens."

She smiled. "Oh yeah! Ryan. I like him. That boy is a keeper. He's as cute as a button, and he's got quite a charm. You are very lucky Gary."

I blushed my eyes bulging out of my head. Had it been that obvious? "Well y-yeah. How did you know...?"

She had a grin on her face, but the sadness in her eyes didn't pass. "Eh? If I gave away my sources how would I get all the good gossip?" She asked and then winked at me to let me know that everything was going to be fine.

There was silence between us for a long moment before she sighed setting her fork aside. "Can I tell you something important?"

I nodded my head slightly shocked that she had to ask, but she simply looked down at the table.

"When I was younger, I thought Simon hated me." She said as she folded her hands on the table. I scoffed at that and she chuckled knowingly. "I know. How could I possible think that when Simon and I are so close? Well he never says I love you. To anyone because he doesn't think he has the right to love anyone after what he has seen and done." She said looking up at me with a sad smile on her face. "I thought he hated me because of this. I quickly discovered that Simon loved me very much, but as I said before he doesn't think he deserves to love. So instead of saying I love you, he says, 'More than the universe.'."

"More than the universe, huh?" I nodded my head slowly, trying to figure out why she was telling me this.

Eve nodded her head, her pony tell bouncing as she did. "Yep, and it even takes him forever to say that. I would think that if he ever told someone that he loved them it would be for life, ya know?"

I nodded giving her a questioning look before placing my hands on the table to match hers. "Why are you telling me this, eh?"

She just smiled at me again before tossing her head back in laughter. "I just wanted to share the enigma that is Ghost Riley, eh?"

For the remained of the evening, we spoke of life back home. She told me about running the Inn where soldiers stayed while off duty. She talked about meeting a man named Elise and his two sons David, and Logan. She spoke of how she spent a lot of time with them as they helped her around the Inn.

Her eyes twinkled as she spoke of her adventures with the Walker brothers. "So David flips the lid down, and I come out and I'm like "What are you doing?" He had Riley stuffed in a large pot, said he ate all of the soup. Needless to say David paid for dinner that night. 200 hundred people, he paid for." She chuckled, and smiled fondly at the memory of the two. "Those lads are too funny."

"What about Logan?" I asked, grinning myself. The idea of seeing a full grown war dog shoved in a pot was oddly appealing.

Eve's smile changed into something different. A look came about her that was all her own. It was the kind of look that she gave Ghost when he did something she was fond of. She smiled rather softly and her hand went to her chest. "Oh Logan… He's one of the kindest people I've ever met. He's always fixing stuff that breaks and helping me cook. He is kind to everybody that stays at the Inn. He… he is nice." She sighed as if remembering an entire story she wasn't willing to share.

I grinned at her. "In love much?"

She playfully glared at me. "Oh hush!"

We giggled at each other before she suddenly yawned. "Oh goodness. Sorry, Gary, but it is well past my bed time. I'll see you tomorrow before I leave wont I?"

I nodded. "Of course!"

She stood up and walked away with a wave. "Goodnight Gary."

"Goodnight Eve."

)-(

I snuck back into the med bay around midnight. It was common knowledge that the night nurse slept though most of her shift, so sneaking past her and into Wings room had been easy. What I wasn't prepared for was Wings being awake.

I entered the room and his eyes went wide with surprise. He sat there shirtless of all things and his hair looked messy from sleeping. He was covered halfway with the white blanket, which made him look sickly. His burses and scrapes were nearly invisible as the TV illuminated him. It was clear by the way he was sitting in his bed that he hadn't been watching the TV, but rather the outside world through his window.

He twisted around to sit fully in his bed, his face resembling that of a child getting caught doing something they weren't suppose too. "Gary? What are you doing here? I swear I didn't get up. I just looked. Honest."

I chuckled at him and placed a hand to my lips to hush him. I walked over to sitting down in the chair I'd been sitting in earlier. "I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by."

He smiled at me and took my hand in his. He muted the TV and turned to look at me again. He'd been crying. I could see it now that I was up close. Tears streaked his face like rain on a window. I watched him for a long moment, and I studied everything about his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked him softly and he blinked at me as if trying to figure out how I knew.

"N-nothing… I…" He sighed and looked down at his lap as if disappointed in himself. "I was just scared… That you might leave me."

It was my turn to blink at him. I wasn't sure where that had come from as I tried my best to give him everything I could. "What? Never."

His face shifted into what seemed like relief, but something danced behind his eyes. Something he wasn't say to me out load, and I wondered if I should press him on it. "It's just… Ghost… The way he looks at you… It makes me feel like there is more there you know?" He said as his face grew red. He continued to look at his lap as if afraid I might be cross with him.

I laughed at him, and kissed his hand. "You don't need to cry. There is nothing to be scared of. Ghost doesn't look at me that way."

He didn't seem entirely sure so I sighed pulling myself up out of the chair using his hand. He looked at me, confused of what I was doing. I nudged him over and slipped in to his bed next to him. I pulled him close to me, putting his head on my chest. "You are so silly Ryan. I love you remember."

He nodded his head and for a while we laid there in each other's arms. I felt myself drifting off ever so slightly, when Wings lifted his head up to face me.

"Gary…" He asked very quietly as if unsure if I was asleep or not.

"Hm." I said opening my eyes a little bit to see him bite his lip nervously.

"Will you kiss me again?" He asked as red brushed into his face. He averted his eyes to look at my chest.

I chuckled and placed a hand on the side of his face. "Yeah, Ryan, I'll kiss you again."

)-(

I'd kissed him slowly at first as he tried to find a position on the bed that accommodated his wounds. He ended up underneath of me squirming underneath of me as if he was the one with ADD. It was slow at first, and then it was soft light little kisses, which I was sure were his favorite. He had even commented that they felt like butterfly wings against his lips. His lips felt like soft down feathers that were ghosted over lips as if to tease them.

I kissed him again, this time on the tip of his nose, and the hollows of his cheeks. I kissed his cheek bones, and his eye lids along with every other available spot on his face and neck. He giggled when I kissed his neck and I couldn't help but smile at this. I continued to do this until he pulled back to look at me. He searched my face until finally he darted forward to my lips and kissed me as deep as he could. He tangled his fingers in my hair pulling me closer.

There were no words to describe what being with Wings was like. He was everything, and yet he was nothing. He was soft, but yet rough. Needy yet he shivered away from my touches. He was silent, yet so loud. He moved with a sort of easy grace, yet every movement was filled with just as much passion as the first.

I remember what it felt like to lay next to him, tangled together, as our sweaty and tired bodies found solace in each other. He rested his head on my chest and I held him closely as if afraid he would disappear.

Wings kissed my chest and smiled up at me with shiny eyes. "Gary, I want to stay this way, forever." He mumbled laying his head back down with a content sigh.

"I'd like that a lot." I said kissing the top of his head with a smile on my face. "Goodnight Ryan."

"Good night, Gary."

)-(

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