As We Go

by wannaBbritish

REREAD Chp 7! REVISED! A deadly mission makes the Dr put Rose on holiday, but the mission follows him home. Now Rose is at risk and he's forced to face the future. Dr10Rose! My first Who fic! Rating may change. Better summary on my profile.

7. Chapter 7

Hey All... I hate to disappoint everyone but I have completely lost my muse for this story. I had this whole ornate idea planned out but never got around to writing it. Now after I've been so sick I've just lost interest. I will however post the seventh chapter I have and what little I wrote of chapter 8... and to hopefully make things easier I'll post a little one shot I did of Rose rejoinging the Doctor and Martha. It's poorly written and terribly short but I like the idea... Again I'm sorry.

Last time!!

"I think we're surrounded," she gulped and dared to glimpse over her shoulder at the newly present figure bringing up the rear. Mickey gripped her hand tightly now, drawing her closer as the figures began to close in. What did they want? Hadn't he told them they had no money? He scanned the area desperately. Did they want Rose? Were they planning to rape her? Kill her? Kill him? It was just like watching a crime show on the telly. They were surrounded by wordless, faceless thugs and their lives were inaudibly at risk. He had to do something, she was gripping his hand twice as hard. He had to think fast!

"RUN!" he belted and jerked her into a sprint for their lives.

What's Ahead??

He couldn't believe what he was seeing, couldn't fathom the chance that she was wounded within the Tardis, and yet - there she lay, tossed aside as though someone had slammed her physically into the wall and simply allowed her to drop. Horrible images filled his mind of her being tortured, abused even while he deftly slept away in that blasted compartment of his. How could he have let anything bad happen to her, how??

The men were slow at first, creeping forward in a perfect formation around them as the two watched on in stunned horror. Then Mickey pulled her off in a general direction and they managed to get out of range before the men gave chase. She'd been clutching to his hand ever since. No more was she certain of anything, of any aspect of her world. The Manipulator chip was hidden off in the Doctor's coat somewhere, harmlessly sitting in lint, and yet even then she felt it's effects. When would they go away and leave her to her own capabilities? When would her reactions and emotions feel like her own again instead of some false sensations pushed into her mind by futuristic technology? She had lost touch with her mother, breaking her heart every time she turned around. She had lost perspective on Mickey, on their relationship, on what he meant to her. She had even practically lost her sanity over the easily repaired wound on the Doctor's chest … When would it end? When would she be Rose Tyler again, standing valiantly by the Doctor's side?

The only time she believed herself fast enough was with him, with the Doctor. When he was holding onto her hand, risking his life for hers, gleefully facing death just for the chance to be beside her in danger…. that was when she truly ran. At that moment however, when he was further away than he'd ever been before and it was Mickey holding her hand, she seriously doubted that they'd make it. She was already ignoring the burning pain in her lungs and the stabbing stitch in her side just to keep up. How much longer could she physically continue that? How much longer could she run without knowing where they were running to! And did it have an oxygen machine? Cause she needed an oxygen machine about then.

Mickey jerked on her hand for the fourth time since they had fled the enclosing circle of attackers, pleading with her silently to stay with him. He glanced back at her. "You alright??" he huffed, crushing her hand in concern. She was certain he didn't know how much it hurt, after all they were both rather panicked, but still, it paled in comparison to the reassuring squeezes of her Doctor. She sucked in a gulp of air before responding: "Fine!".

"What do they want?" he queried suggestively, glancing over her shoulder at the figures beyond.

"How should I know?" she barked, feeling a bit of her mum tinge her voice as he helped her leap over a trash bin. He said nothing of her tone, only dropped his jaw in outrage.

"Well you're the one who travels with the Doctor! What'd you do?" he accused.

"Just because I travel with him doesn't mean I know everything!" she snarled back, shooting him a glare also worthy her mum. "And I didn't do anything! What'd you do??" Perhaps there was something to her father's statement about sounding like her mum when she shouted… cause Mickey swallowed visibly her intensity.

"It wasn't me! I've never seen 'em before in my life!" he squeaked. She chanced a glimpse at the men behind her, insisting that her brain reconnect if only for a minute as she studied them. For starters she didn't know where Mickey was leading her, she didn't know how long they had been running for and she wasn't even certain what - exactly - they were running from… All a day on the job for her, but what was different that time? What could help them get out it?

Inadvertently she noticed what the predators were wearing; that they were all dressed alike in tan slacks, blue striped polo tees and combed over hair. They all appeared to be utterly average, of middle class ranking with the popular style of dress and hair and yet they were chasing two very non-average people down the street in the middle of the night.

Suddenly Mickey fumbled, stumbling over the street curb as he struggled to regain his footing and accidentally interrupted her line of thinking. She swerved back to help him up when he finally fell, but powerful, clammy fingers wrapped around her wrist, yanking her backward off her feet. For all of an instant she could see nothing more than darkness, the swirl of distant street lights and the mixed grain of road pavement beneath her. Then Mickey screamed her name somewhere nearby and the hand that had caught her constricted painfully enough to break her wrist if she moved. All ideas she'd had of an escape vanished.

He slowly turned her to face him, wanting her to see exactly what she was running from and why she should fear it. The sight almost stopped her heart cold. He had deep, engorged black holes for eyes that almost seemed to bleed unhappiness into the viewer… and skin, withered and gray, cracked like gnashes across an old canvas. She tremored frightfully when he growled at her, hatefully discharging a putrid stench of decaying flesh through his thick, un-parted lips into her face. She knew then that it was something she would see in her dreams, something that would stalk the deepest paranoia within her and haunt her in the dark for years.

"ROSE!" Mickey's voice pierced through her head like a bullet, stirring up the muck that had temporarily taken over her mind. She felt his hand rejoin hers, lacing their fingers in preparation of a struggle that would likely decide her fate as the intense connection the man had forced onto her broke. Mickey tugged and she dropped to the ground. He screamed for her to run and she allowed him to drag her away.

"Where are we?" he yelled as deep guttural howls echoed on the night air. She watched as he scanned over the darkness. All around them stood street signs and buildings, things that she had seen every day of her life and things that she would recognize for every day to come. Something clicked then, something familiar and right.

"We're on the estate!" she replied happily. All at once she knew they were in the courtyard outside her flat and she knew that if there was a courtyard then there was of course a -

"There's the Tardis!" Mickey cheered, pointing to the blue box in question. It was robustly sitting under a yellow cone of street light up ahead where the Doctor had parked it so long ago. She almost laughed in relief. Not even the Hun army could penetrate those walls, the Doctor had said so himself, so nowhere else in the world would be safer. She reached into her pocket for the key and together they aimed for the double, paneled doors they knew so well.

She had the key in hand when she slammed into the side of the police box, unable to slow herself enough for a stop. Mickey skidded along behind her not long after and immediately accepted the job as look out while she wordlessly went for the lock. She knew he understood her stronger knowledge about those sort of scenarios, that she lived them everyday and probably could gather the importance of speedy actions. So when he laid a hand atop hers for attention she stopped.

"Listen," he whispered, scanning over the abruptly empty courtyard around them. She noted the surprising silence surrounding the area and cautiously took one step closer to the Tardis. Neither of them moved.

"Where did they go?" she asked.

"Oh, this can't be good..." he muttered back and turned to check his right flank. She swallowed back the knot of mounting worry in her throat and she shook her head in agreement. "Do you think they've gone?"

"No."

"Right then - in we go," he hurried and like scared children they leapt through the spaceship doors, slamming them behind them and clinging to each other as they awaited any sounds of others trying to get in. Nothing more than the sounds of their adrenaline labored breathing and the comforting hum of machinery even registered with their ears though and slowly their fear abated. "Well... that was fun," she sardonically quipped, pulling back from him. "You should suggest walks more often," she added and headed for the console tiredly. He rounded on her in disbelief.

"What? You're blaming me?"

"Yeah. If we hadn't gone for a walk then we wouldn't have been chased now would we?"

"Yeah, but I didn't know that was going to happen! Hell I'm not even sure what happened!" he yelled. Rose sent a smirk at him over her shoulder, barely containing the giggles as she stepped around the room. "You - Oh you! I actually believed you were being serious!" he scolded, rushing at her playfully. He smacked her arm gently when she slid into the Doctor's favorite chair and wasn't able to get away.

"Yah, you did didn't you?" she chuckled. He smiled and relaxed against the console in front of her.

"Seriously though… what do you think all that was about?" She averted her gaze. Truthfully she had no idea what was happening to them… or to herself. She was completely clueless and afraid of what that would mean.

"I don't know," she at last sighed and for a long moment he watched her. He watched the melancholy shift from laughter to defeat, the way she hid her inner workings too well to be uncovered. He questioned her honesty in a subject he knew little about and she could see it in his eyes.

"So... what do you think about going back out there then?" he snorted bemused, a way of confessing his acceptance of her and moving on. Her face lit up with curiosity, half fending off a weak smile of gratuity as she raised one eyebrow and stared off into space blankly.

"I think - we should stay here," she grinned. "At least for a while. Can't be sure they're really gone can we? And what don't we have access to in here?" she said, slipping off the chair and walking around the console for emphasis.

"You mean other than ANYTHING?? We aren't supposed to touch a single button, Rose. You heard the Doctor… or rather, the hologram… the hologram of the Doctor… the Doctor hologram…"

"I didn't mean touch anything, I meant like food and beds," she retorted sarcastically. "We can get to those without buttons." He shrugged and sat in the abandoned pilot chair.

"Yeah sure. I don't mind staying… at least until the creepy feeling wears off," he smiled again. She reached into her coat pocket and withdrew the super phone the Doctor had created for her.

"Better call mum then. Warn her not to come home until we're sure those guys are gone," she muttered. Mickey bent forward and lifted the sonic screwdriver's manual off the console while she dialed.

"Yeah cause I'm sure they might still be out there. THEY don't know what this nasty blue machine really is," he insulted, loving the objection on her face at the bitter blow. "It shouldn't be a problem though about your mum. She'll just spend the night at Howard's again. Always does," he added and opened the book totally unaware of the revulsion he had inspired.
Several minutes later Rose wandered circles around the console. She tossed the Doctor's favorite silver ball up and down idly as she thought. Mickey had been right. Her mum had promised to stay with Howard on the other side of town for the night if Rose called in the morning to let her know they were safe. She agreed, though not something she liked (her mum staying with Howard that was) and settled in.

Mickey still sat in the Doctor's chair flipping through the pages of the sonic screwdriver manual, his feet propped comfortably on the console. They had only spoke briefly after she hung up to convey that Jackie was safe. Then they went to their respective deterrents from boredom and she had time to go over all the torrents of feelings and thoughts bumbling about inside her… Including her conversation with Mickey. He was insistent on ending what they had, blaming her attraction to the Doctor as the reason, but she knew that was all it was - a reason. He had wanted to leave her countless times before and been unable. Was he suddenly testing her? Was he trying to find out her feelings for him by scaring her like that?… No, she knew Mickey better than that. He had always been a stand up guy and she was sure he'd remain that equivalent till his dying day… so what then? Did he honestly believe she loved the Doctor? Did she love the Doctor? That was ridiculous right? … Right??

"You alright?" he asked softly, barely disturbing their extended silence.

"Yeah? Why?"

"Cause you stopped throwing around the ball and there was this vacant look in your eyes," he grinned. "The one you get when you think too hard." She looked down at the ball resting motionless in her hands and then back at him. His face was still inclined on the book though his eyes were obviously on her. She shrugged. She didn't want to lie, she just wanted answers.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Are we alright?" he added, eyebrows raised in curiosity. The awful feeling she had of being torn in half by her love for Mickey and her love for life came back in a jolt and for an second it was as though they hadn't been chased by crazy men on the street mere hours ago. She walked over to where he lounged and leaned against the console.

"Are we over?" she replied, finding her voice whispering as though it could possibly assuage the reality they held. He sighed in response and sat up, dropping the manual back on the console. "I don't know... are we?" He didn't want this to hurt her. He didn't want to see the sadness in her eyes over this same thing again, over the same indecision they had been dancing with for years… but he also didn't want to go through that dance with her another day. Not when it was secretly killing them both the longer it was put off. Rose looked away from him, turning her eyes to the wall as she rolled the ball over the palm of her right hand. He could see her rallying her strength, controlling her emotions enough to try and articulate the proper words for each feeling. He fidgeted. "I mean, we were kind of in the middle of it when those jerks started chasing us… I think we ended up somewhere around me forbidding you to date that Captain friend of yours EVER.. Who was he again?" Despite her best efforts, Rose laughed."Stop it!" It came out a plea. "Be serious."

"About what? There's nothing to be serious about! You love him," he almost chuckled. "That's all there is to it."

"And what's that got to do with anything, hm? Don't I love you too?" she demanded hotly. He scoffed at her, glancing away to the console with the most agonized streak of hurt and longing unconsciously lacing his features. She knew it. She recognized that everything she saw there was caused by her and her unquenchable thirst for the Doctor. It broke her heart that she couldn't change that, that she wanted so terribly to take it all back, but never could. Taking it back would denounce the Doctor, eject him from her life with a springboard and that was something she could never be prepared to do… not even for herself.

"Not like you love him, you don't. Trust me, I've learned that the hard way," he muttered, looking back up into her face sadly.

"So what then? Now you're going to act like I turned you away for him?"

"But you did, Rose! You turned everything away for him, even your own life! I - I just don't know…. HOW did you not see this first?? How is it that you should be breaking up with me, but- but you're not??" he grumbled loudly. There was defeat in his voice, his lower lip protruding as his shoulders slumped. He reminded her of a sulking child who hadn't gotten their way.

"So that's what you're wanting?" she pressed uncertainly. "You're wanting me to break up with you so you don't have to? It has nothing to do with him!" Mickey blinked incredulously at that.

"Pssh," he huffed, puffing out his chest as proudly as any four year old. "I - I did this on my own didn't I? I brought it up, made you confront it. Now you want me to do the breaking up part too? I'm not THAT strong," he defended weakly. "Whatever you may think..."

Rose smiled warmly, finding herself unwanted and loved at the same time. In a round about way he was really trying to give her exactly what he thought she wanted - freedom. He just wasn't as good with his words as she would've liked.

She couldn't tell him he was wrong, that she hadn't considered breaking up with him so many times she'd lost count and that she hadn't forgotten about him for a while when she was with the Doctor. That much was true and rightly his to charge, but… did it really have to mean the end of what they had? The end of almost seven years? Tears stung at the corner of her eyes, threatening to fall once again. He was making her choose, just like he claimed he wouldn't…

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked bluntly, hunting for any clean cut answers to erase her confusion, to set her emotions right. Part of her was mourning the pain she caused him, but the other, larger part was ashamedly excited with the prospect, with the very potential her freedom carried and the liberation from guilt it would invite. She wanted nothing more than to understand who she was, to just understand how she felt about the world and where that chip had changed all that for her and the only way she could see to do it was by confronting everything -- including her feelings toward Mickey.

He groaned light heartedly, dropping his head backward in mock exhaustion of her stubborn progress. "Rose, I already told you I'm going to love you no matter what and I'm not going anywhere!" he promised, lifting her left hand into his as he grinned. "Nothing's going to change for us but the kisses... and the hugs... and the other stuff--"

"Alright! Cheeky," she chuckled through a sniff. He smiled encouragingly at her.

"My point is... you love him. You do!" he insisted, staring hard into her eyes for emphasis. He was going to have no arguments again. "And when you see I'm right," he added simply, "You'll be a whole hell of a lot happier than you were clinging to something that hasn't existed in a long time." Ending the conversation he reached for the manual.
Rose reclined on the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees. Tilting her head back against the smooth wall of the blue room she gazed over her Doctor's odd, sort of, smile. She hadn't noticed it before... or the way he almost seemed to smirk at her… or the adorable way his tousled hair stood on ends in clear defiance of gravity. She guessed the chamber came filled with a gel or goop of some kind that made such feats possible. That was what they always did in movies at least. Of course he was still as deathly pale and painfully full of tubes and wires as she had found him the first time. The interest she could take in just the image of his face however hadn't ceased to amaze her. In fact, that was why she was still sitting there. Seeing him in such fashion had interfered with her thought process and distracted her of topic repeatedly. She finally gave into the expression on his face, stopping herself from forcing uncomfortable thoughts through her head. She could never be in love with the Doctor. He was an alien, a time lord, and beyond settling with anyone. Therefore even if she were in love with him, he would never love her back… but did she want him to? The thought nagged on her mind.

Mickey had told her numerous times in the past that she cared more for the Doctor than him, that she was obviously in love with him. Now that he'd broken up with her because of it she actually wondered if she did… Her mother had said something too. Every time she spotted the two together she would mutter a comment about lovebirds when she didn't think they could hear her. Or she'd treat the Doctor with resigned acceptance similar to that of a son-in-law. Actually that was quite funny since he didn't particularly like her either. He only put up with her because of Rose.

He did a lot of things just because of "Rose", she pondered idly in third person. He took on a companion after years without one. He frequently revisited 2006 London. He chose odd and exotic places to stop in on - not just to help but to enjoy. He smiled… He laughed… she even spotted him dancing alone once, humming an indiscernible tune as he bebopped around the console… She wanted him always happy, always . She never wanted to see that frown he liked so much or the sorrow that was in his eyes. She wanted to change it. She wanted to make him happy, to keep him from forever being alone. She'd go to great lengths to get that, even if it meant her life in the end… he was worth it.

She considered for a second that she did, in truth, love him. That the butterflies in her stomach when he looked at her were attraction and not thrill. That the shudder under his touch was needing and not the effect of an alien caress. That the coziness and relief she felt to be beside him was affection and not habit… Was that why total strangers questioned their relationship? Was that why she would follow him anywhere, do anything, and try everything with him? Was that why being separated ached so rawly? She allowed her head to fall off to the side while her eyes clung to him. Could she stand to live her life without him? Without what he gave and who he was? Without the hum of the Tardis and the glint in his eyes? She had gone on holiday less than a week ago and had to experience life that way… could she do it again?

She sighed. There were so many questions unanswered and so many feelings unattended… she was about to explode. She was tired and sleepy from going a week without rest, she was nervous about being chased downtown, she was sad and dejected about being cast off by Mickey, she was guilty about hurting her mum, she was afraid of the Doctor not waking up, and to top it all off she was absolutely disconcerted that the effects of the Manipulator chip hadn't worn off. She had kissed the Doctor while under it's influence, and yelled at him… did that have anything to do with what she was taking into account now?

No. Rose Tyler knew the answer to that question. She had kissed the Doctor because she wanted to not because something told her to. She had also behaved her whole life similarly without the assistance of mind control. She had hugged him, shivered beside him, smiled at him, held his hand - all because she wanted to. Those things had nothing to do with the Manipulator and she would never be convinced that they did. She grinned. She had figured it out, it was easy. She did love the Doctor. She was completely, hopelessly, head over heels in love with Sir Doctor of Tardis and always would be! Suddenly it made sense all the things she had been lost on before. That WAS why she reacted so jealousy to any challenge for his heart, why she protectively watched over him, why she desired nothing more than the feel of his hand around hers… It was why she felt sad and guilty over her mum and Mickey, because she had moved on without them and never known for certain why. It was also why she hadn't slept in a week. She had spent many long hours thinking about him when the Manipulator had kept her awake!

"Damn," she murmured with a smile, "the world really does revolve around you… I'm out ten quid"
Mickey was still comfortably lounging in silence, reading the manual innocently. She sauntered into the room grinning manically as she watched her pace in contained joy.

"What is it?" he demanded, keeping the anxiety from his voice when he looked up to see her.

"How long was I in there?" she asked. The smiled was so powerful she could hear it in her voice and Mickey didn't seem too pleased with that. She rounded the console. He checked his wrist watch, pressing the small buttons on the side to illuminate the digital face.

"An hour? I think. Not sure when we got in here," he replied slowly. "Why?"

"I just -- wanted to know…" she sang, biting her tongue between her teeth as she smiled, "… how long it too me to realize you're always right"

Past three AM the sounds of laughter finally dulled to a trickle. Mickey had taken to Rose's revelation very well, causing her to seriously question his state of health. He laughed it off with an explanation of how he had come to terms with the Doctor and accepted him for everything he was - even if it meant he was everything to her. Then they had laughed about her blind refusal and what her friends would think if they knew she had fallen for a alien this time. They tossed the Doctor's ball back and forth across the console for almost an hour in boredom. Mostly they were just happy to have found something to do. She idly chatted about how she'd tell him when he woke up what she'd learned and wondered what colorful reaction he might have. Mickey suggested the Doctor might not have the same feelings for her, something she had forgotten about in the course of her revelation and she forgot it was her turn to catch the ball. Brushed metal bounced off her face, leaving behind an agitated cut below her left eye. He apologized profusely for hurting her, vowing never to throw anything at her again, but the damage had been done. For the rest of the night, she dreaded that maybe she too would have to experience the Doctor's rejection first hand. She finally laid in the floor to stare at the dark nothingness of the ceiling, stretching her legs upward on the wall for support as Mickey advised they'd fall over while she slept and that she'd wake up sore if she didn't chose the couch. She ignored him.
The Doctor blinked as the chamber glass lifted and the tubes/wire retracted from his skin. He winced at the uncomfortable sensation, but quickly smiled when he realized he was through. The full twenty four hours had gone by and with only one minor problem: a recurring fault in the data transmissions the Tardis referred to as the Bad Wolf Vector. It repeatedly kept rerouting to it until he finally surrendered. He assumed it was somehow related to Rose anyway and deemed it safe enough. She would never do anything to harm the Tardis -- not intentionally anyway.

Silently he looked down over his bare body, still coated in the foamy, snot colored stasis plasma that sustained his vitals until he was released. He made another, equally displeased face at the smell it emitted (sort of lemony with a hint of rotted fruit) and checked his chest for bruising. To his refreshed delight there were none and the ones he had shown off the previous morning had also been healed away. His smile was tapered however. Everything was working out well except for his still general gooey status and the horrible stench of rot. That had to go. Rose wouldn't want to come anywhere near him ever again if she smelled it. It was off to the showers with him.

Thirty five minutes later a brown pinstriped suit and white converse all-stars carried him toward the console room, smelling of clean linen and after shave. He ran a hand through his dry hair. He always loved perfectly groomed hair... at least with this body he did. Really his last body might have too if he had known how much Rose liked it. Entering the control room he fiddled with the rogue cow lick dangling over his forehead obsessively until something pink snagged the corner of his eye. Both hearts skipped a beat when he recognized the oddly strewn blond hair and bright pink top of Rose Tyler on the floor by the wall.

"Rose?" he whispered, almost in denial of what he was seeing. She was supposed to have spent the night with Mickey, having fun and being with her… boyfriend. Not lying in the floor of the Tardis like she was dead. When she didn't respond he rushed to her side and dropped to one knee. "Rose!" It was an order, a command to open her eyes and relieve him of his worries despite her stubborn parentage. Normally she would have listened to him, only him, but not that time.

He began to panic. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, couldn't fathom the chance that she was wounded within the Tardis. Yet - there she lay, tossed aside as though someone had slammed her physically into the wall and simply allowed her to drop without caring... Horrible images filled his mind of her being tortured while he deftly slept in the zero room chamber. ?
How could he have let anything bad happen to Rose, how?? "Rose?" he pleaded this time, the name faint on his breath as his fingertips delicately found the softly swollen skin and dried blood of a cut under her eye. Her left wrist was bruised too, he noted vaguely.

Rose inwardly felt the sleep drift away though her eyes remained shut. She was weary and sore from the rather undesirable position she had fallen asleep in (what with her feet having fallen to the side during the night like Mickey had claimed they would… right again she groaned). She was also very reluctant to adjust beyond it, as that would only cause her to awaken further. She really didn't want that. She was in the middle of having a lovely dream about the Doctor whispering her name and was trying to cling to it rather than the nightmares that had plagued her earlier that night. Groggily she admitted defeat and stirred out of her unpleasant position, reaching thoughtlessly to rub the sleep from her eyes.

A reminiscent jolt of fear shot down her spine as a firm hand reached out to stop her. She sat upright with a yelp, transfixed on the feel of his hand around her wrist where the attacker's had been only hours before. She identified the hand as her Doctor's after a second, knowing all too well the way it felt but incapable of collecting herself enough to relax.

Realizing he'd grabbed her injured wrist he instantly let go, attributing her reaction to the wound. "It's me. Are you alright?" he tenderly questioned. She managed a stiff nod in response. It was the best she had to offer through her clouded thoughts. He swallowed as he watched her shiver before him, dread welling up beneath his skin. He couldn't figure out what had frightened her so bad. He had never seen that startled of a reaction from her before. He was even seriously considering protectively wrap her up in his arms to assure her of her safety with him.

"Um... What time is it?" she finally broke the silence. She was still struggling to regain composure, her voice hoarse from sleep. His eyes narrowed.

"Eleven. Are you alright??" he repeated less gently. The concern for her reaction and his own lingering fear of losing her earlier had tweaked his attitude toward disgruntled and she blinked up at him.

"Yeah? Why?"

"Because you looked like a scared rabbit when you woke up," snickered Mickey from the console, surprising them both. The Doctor's head whipped around to the boy who had once been his companion as the young man sat up in the pilot's chair. "Sore?" Mickey asked Rose.

"A little… I hate you when you're right," she muttered.

"You?" spat the Doctor incredulously. He hadn't yet gotten past the unwelcome presence of the boy in the room much less his interruption. "How long have you been there?"

"Since about..." Mickey glanced at his watch, "Oh hell! Best call ya mum Rose, you're about eight hours over due," he said. She nodded silently, still blinking away the remnants of sleep as she got to her feet. The Doctor followed suit, his jaw hanging ajar in bewilderment. Two minutes ago he was terrified she was seriously injured, watching her all but whimper in fear, and then she just gets up and ignores him??

"Jackie knows you're here too?" he cried, disbelief still roaring in his ears as he watched the girl dig through her jean pockets. It wasn't that he couldn't believe Rose would want to sleep aboard the Tardis, but that Jackie would ever let her was another story. She had told him on numerous occasions that it had something to do with needing time with Rose and feeling alone without her. He never once challenged that, knowing too well how it felt to be separated from her, but this time he was tempted.

"Yeah, course," replied Rose matter-of-factly. There was a hint of concern creeping into her voice as she eyed him. "S'not like we really had a choice to stay here, Doctor. It was the only place that felt safe at the time," she supplied. One of his eyebrows quirked.

"Safe? Why in the world would you need to be safe? What is going on here!" he demanded angrily. Mickey cowed in response, his large expressive eyes holding worry while Rose merely quirked her eyebrow back.

"Being rude again," she informed him tartly, the phone waiting unused in her left hand. Mickey was quiet and motionless in his chair. He knew very well the extravagant rows they could have over little things and judging by the tone of the Doctor's voice this was going to be one of those things. The last thing he would ever want to do would be to interfere. The Doctor would never hurt Rose.

"Good!" snapped the Doctor, his emotions brawling for dominance over his body as he glared at his companion. She stared back thoughtfully, her tongue pushing out the inside of her cheek as she watched his hands unconsciously clench and release at his sides.He was battling two emotions right then that she couldn't read. One, and he admitted it freely to himself: part of him was utterly aroused by the disheveled turn in her appearance. He had never really owned up to his physical attraction to her, but he never really denied it either. With her right hip cocked out in the very classic Tyler position, her hair feathered out around her face, and her clothes, wrinkled and loose, hanging off awkward places on her body… he could hardly keep his eyes from wandering...

The other part of him, the part very far from the latter, however, was stronger. He was much more disturbed by the gap in their communication lines than he was interested in the glint of her eye.

She narrowed said eye in thought, valiantly contemplating where she had experienced that particular shade of anger off him before. As realization dawned on her she grinned evilly.

"You're worried!" she accused and pointed victoriously at him. His fury dropped away, replaced with embarrassment and slight pride at the way she knew him so well.

"That is so beyond the point," he scolded, tossing his arms into the air melodramatically. He wanted to avoid full agreement and surrender if possible. He was still pretty aggravated at them. She giggled again at him, crossing her arms over her breast as his own smile tugged on the corners of his lips. He cleared his throat to strengthen his sobriety. "What happened? Why are you hurt? Why are you "here" (he added a gesture to the Tardis around him)? And what have I missed while in the zero room?"

"Zero Room?" she countered confused.

"Yes," he replied impatiently. "That's the name of the room where I was in the chamber. It was specially adjusted by the Time Lords upon the growth of the Tardis and others like it to be a sort of restore point for seriously damaged equipment. Now answer my questions…" His voice had fallen to a tone of seriousness and worry, a tone that left no room for argument and she obeyed.

Together they stood around the console, Rose and Mickey rambling swiftly the events of the night before. They went over the way their day was spent alone, the tidying up of the console room, and their after dark adventure. They also covered how Rose had ended up with such ugly bruises encircling her wrist and neglected the rather intense conversations they had shared on his behalf. He absorbed every word, glancing from one of them to the other and then back again whenever they traded off. He was noticeably relieved to discover that Rose had accidentally fallen asleep on the floor and was not attacked by some faceless maniac. He was also less noticeably relieved when he found out that the two of them had not been up to any romantic doings in his absence… even if they had, he didn't really want to know about it… he couldn't imagine her with another man… Otherwise he was somewhat perturbed that they had been chased so randomly on the street like that.

"I don't think they were human, Doctor," whispered Rose only loud enough that the Doctor could hear while Mickey toyed with the console. Secretly she was ashamed of her fear. Ashamed that Mickey and the Doctor might know she wasn't as strong as they believed her to be. That their opinions of her might somehow be lowered. His gaze held hers earnestly, trustingly.

"They don't sound it…" he assured, holding his volume low for the same discretion she had shown. Silently she blessed his supreme wonderfulness as he turned to face Mickey. "What about you, Mick? Did these guys give off any particular alien vibes to you?" the Doctor wondered. Mickey shrugged as he distractedly at the question, fiddling with a button on the console rather than paying attention. He'd already started to feel awkward between the two of them, the way he always felt when they were together.

"Seemed human enough to me."

"But -- Didn't you see their faces?" she suddenly cried out, winning a look of pure interest from the Doctor that she couldn't bare to face. She didn't know what he was thinking behind those chocolate eyes of his, but she knew that if she looked at him she would find out… and the answer might not be pleasant. "They were all - decomposing and menacing. They had this rancid breath that smelled like lemons and the sort of face you see in horror films… That wasn't just me, was it?" Her voice broke to the end of her statement as the confidence she'd felt petered out. What if she had only dreamed the horrible expression she remembered? What if she was so sleep deprived and exhausted from the use of the Manipulator chip that she was hallucinating? Could the Doctor read her hesitation?

"I never saw their faces. It was too dark," Mickey replied indifferent. "But c'mon Rose, they totally looked human! They didn't even pull any of that normal alien stuff."

"If you didn't really see them, then you can't be certain what they were," the Doctor retorted irritated. He really believed that if Rose was saying it, it was worth paying attention to and Rose was saying these men weren't human. Her astute perceptions had always held some truth in the past... The very suggestion of anyone challenging her was laughable in his opinion. Crossing his arms he looked to Rose. "You said they ran when they spotted the Tardis?"

"Well sort of. More like disappeared by the time we were to the doors."

He thought for a second, blankly staring out into the empty air around him. "Well…whatever they were they weren't normal… No, regular assailants would have kept after you - they always do. They have no idea what this police box really is and therefore have no reason to avoid it." Rose nodded in agreement. What he said was the truth. Perhaps she was just making a big deal out of a nightmare?

"That's what I said," grinned Mickey triumphantly. "With different words."

"That's a boy, Rickey!! You do have a bit of wits in you!" the Doctor laughed, patting him on the shoulder. Mickey grumbled about where he'd like stick those wits if he didn't lay off the stupid jokes and Rose grinned. The Doctor rounded on her purposefully, trained on intimidating the truth from her with every fiber of seriousness in his being. "What I still don't understand though, is how you got that cut -- under your eye," he continued, tenderly tracing it with his index finger. Rose swallowed and exchanged a rigid glance with Mickey.

"Well… see, Mickey and I were playing - with that silver ball you used to love so much? Yeah? And… well there was an accident and I - sort of…. Missed a throw," she explained lamely. The Doctor's eyes turned first, then the rest of him slowly faced Mickey."So you did that?" he demanded. "You threw a ball at her and hit her in the face??"

"I didn't do it on purpose! She said she missed didn't she?" Mickey squeaked.

"It doesn't matter. You still threw a metal object at your girlfriend and maimed her face!"

"Hey! It's not that bad," objected Rose, her fingertips feeling at it for affirmation.

"Firstly you say mean things to her and then you throw things at her??"

"It was a game! We were playing!"

"Playing? Like children? I left two unsupervised children on my Tardis???"

"Are you calling me a child?" Rose stepped in fiercely. The Doctor recoiled his disbelief only slightly.

"YES!" She glared harshly at him, trying to will the flesh off his bones with only the heat of her eyes. After all they had been through together, after all she was going through now over him, he still believed she was some stupid ape?? She hadn't already proved her merit to him yet? He glared back at her for as long as he could before his resolve cracked and shattered. His features relaxed and he moved closer to her. "I didn't mean that… it's just that --" What? Just what? He wavered as he thought. Its just that seeing you hurt kills me? Just that he hurt you and now I want to hurt him but won't? "-- it was such a stupid thing to do and now you're hurt."

"We all do stupid things," she returned. For a second he wondered if she was talking about the kiss she had shoved on him back in her bedroom and it stung ferociously. "But it was an accident… you do stupid things all the time just for the fun of it," she reminded him. "He didn't mean to do it, Doctor," she added softly. "I promise."

For a second they gazed at each, reading the other for any fault lines of weakness or lies and finding nothing. Really, neither of them ever expected to. Satisfied that the minor wound wasn't intentional the Doctor changed gears.

"So, who wants to check out that Manipulator?" he announced. Mickey almost moaned with relief as he giddily raised his hand.

"Oo - oo! I am!" he cheered, eager to make up for his apparent transgression. The Doctor fought bravely not to laugh and failed.

"Wait, what are we going to do about the guys who chased us?" said Rose. The Doctor languidly shoved his hands into his suit pockets and screwed up his face.

"Well, seeing as there's no proof that these men were nothing more than that - men. There's nothing we can do. There's not even a reasonable enough excuse to stick around here to find out. What you saw could've been your brain convincing you that that was what you saw because of the strong fear you had while it was happening and the correlating fear you felt in your dream. It merely made a transemblance of the picture of fear in your dream and told your memory that that was what you saw, thereby excusing your illogical fear."

"Oh."

"All I can say is that you should get to the police and inform them of the incident immediately. Actions like that should not be left unpunished… disturbs the balance of things," the Doctor informed Mickey, rocking on his heels. Mickey nodded dumbly and Rose wasn't so convinced. She wondered if he even truly believed what he was telling them.
-
Several moments and a scan of the destroyed manipulator chip later, the three time travelers zealously awaited a read out at the monitor on the console. Rose chewed quietly on her nails over the Doctor's hunched shoulders, thinking desperately over what exactly the data would reveal. Would it tell them she had complete control of herself all along? Would it blatantly say exactly what she was told to do? Would it put into words the things she had felt and who she had felt them for?

The Doctor could practically feel Rose gnawing on her nails behind him. He hated that habit. He had begged to her stop the last time they were locked up in prison together on Potthe three weeks ago and she had sworn she'd try. Obviously that promise was forgotten… but he wouldn't complain too much. It was just another thing that made her Rose. He snuck a glimpse of her over his shoulder with a smirk.

"Oh! Something's come up!" Mickey alerted, pointing at the screen where various ornate scribbles were scrolling up the frame. The Doctor pulled his eyes back to Gallifreyan analysis and began to read aloud for them.

"It's giving the average dosages for a human… hmm, all very normal… testosterone low, adrenaline moderate… all very typical…" he droned, skimming over the digits. "Now its giving us the original designated dosages that were inputted… wait, original??"

"What does it mean? There were more than one set of programs?" Rose queried.

"Seems like it. The original data says it was to send you ever decreasing levels of serotonin." He glanced at her, "to cause a deepening depression…" Rose swallowed hard, memories of her past week alone too vivid to ignore. The Doctor returned to the read outs. "There are other inputs, but mostly to similar lines. Guilt, rotating happiness that could come over very unnatural stimulus, physical pain… Ah, here's the active dosages as of the moment I found it…" The Doctor read silently for a while, his eyes following quickly over every unreadable symbol and his expression falling gravely.

"What??" she finally cried, ripping through the anticipation and tension his silence had created. The Doctor took a deep breath.

"The levels of serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and melatonin continue to reduce to almost catastrophic levels… at the rates these chemicals decreased you should be dead." She hid her emotions well from the two men before her, stonily nodding in understanding. On the inside though she was weeping like a scared baby over what could have been.

"Is it only giving you chemical names and levels or effects and side effects too?" questioned Mickey solemnly.

"It's a very scientific device. The inventors expected whoever received the read out to already have a knowledge of brain activity and functioning so what it gives of the rates, levels, chemicals, and percentages of change is supposed to tell you that… That could change still, we aren't done yet," he replied, eyes glued to the screen. "It seems the original dosage wasn't doing anything, at least not enough to affect your daily routines which was the goal, so the program was altered continuously to adapt to your amount of resistance. Which I'm proud to inform was a significant amount," he grinned. "It says here that the messages the Manipulator was sent were so ineffective that the entire set of chemicals in your brain had to be practically shut down to inflict any sort of change in you… these levels would kill anyone if they were administered as they were last transmitted." She could feel a lump growing in her throat, a sign of the tears she felt prickling the edges of her eyes. Someone had tried to kill her… would have killed her - if the Doctor hadn't saved her in time… and all she could do was look at the information in awe. The Doctor wordlessly gripped her vacate hand behind him, giving her the reassuring squeeze she had needed when they were being chased. She squeezed back."The best I can gather is that Rose was furiously fighting this foreign influence in her mind to the point that her body automatically raised the lowered levels back up and above regular standards, to normally unhealthy conditions in order to keep her alive. The human body however Isn't equipped to sustain that sort of war for any period of time and a trigger eventually cracked the dam, giving the concentration full reign over her body."

"Well that's Rose isn't it? Never does anything the way she's supposed to," joked Mickey with a grin. The Doctor snorted a laugh as Rose jerked back her hand in mock betrayal.

"Oi! So cheeky with me," she teased. Suddenly her cell phone went off, flashing the word MUM in all caps across the screen as it sang. "Oh m'gah! Mum!" she shrilled and answered the line quickly. "Hi Mum… yes we're alright… yes I promise… I'm sorry, we fell asleep. It's not like I didn't mean to call you back… the Doctor's awake… yes he's fine too…" she chattered tiredly, roaming around the room. The Doctor and Mickey meanwhile watched her with amused interest from the console. "No Mum, we're okay!… we're fine!…" she insisted, mouthing 'why me?' to the Doctor. He shrugged and lifted his eyebrows bemused. She began to head for the hallway just outside, quietly taking her mother with her. "We just had a bit of a fright, nothing to it… the Doctor says not even to worry about it, those guys were probably just--" and with that her voice faded from earshot. The Doctor shook his head resigned and turned back to the Manipulator data that had begun printing off the panel. He was growing accustomed to her domestics. The usual activities of her life had only become more endearing as he got to know her. He guessed it had a lot more to do with his love for her and little less to do with the domestics themselves.

"I guess I'll be off then. Got to be at work in two hours and if I plan to talk to the police before I get there I've best leave early," Mickey groaned. The Doctor nodded without looking away from the monitor. "Keep me up to speed on the manipulator would ya?" he requested. Again a detached nod.

"Certainly. I can't have Rose's family in the dark now can I?" he replied. "You lot'd kill me." Mickey sniggered an unspoken agreement despite his lessened concern for Rose and greater interest in the Doctor himself. He was focusing on something he needed to say, something he felt should be happening to give the Doctor his blessing, though the Doctor didn't really need it. He'd already had Rose for a long time. That only made it harder to place exactly what should be said.

Should he congratulate the Doctor on being the best man? No, cause then Rose would look like a trophy, something they both knew she truly was but that would only upset her. He could always just admit defeat… but the Doctor knew he had won the moment Rose went with him. Mickey studied the Doctor for a long second, reading his body language for any signs of what to say. He did want to be sure that the words he'd give would actually be taken by the timelord. Separately, the Doctor raised an eyebrow in mild irritation over Mickey's watchful eye and looked up.

"Yes?" he sighed, accidentally startling him from his reverie. The poor kid virtually had a heart attack at the sound of his voice.

"Well, see… it's just that…" he turned his eyes to the button that had occupied him earlier. "I have faith in you…" he murmured weakly without looking up. "She really cares about you." The Doctor gaped, his jaw ajar and his brain running a thousand miles an hour in attempts to decode what had just been said.

"Everything's fine," Rose proclaimed, reentering the room with her hands in her front jeans pockets.

"She's home then?" asked Mickey. He moved in to stand beside her. Rose shook her head, her eyes lingering on the Doctor's paralyzed expression and the curl of frustration in his upper lip that always showed up when he was confused.

"No, but she's heading there… Was on the tram when we hung up… uh Doctor.. are you alright?" she asked.

"Hm? Oh - yes. Yes yes, always fine," he muttered strangled, the full meaning of Mickey's words crashing heavily on him.

"…O- K?" She wasn't sure she believed him, nor that he believed himself. What had happened while she was gone? What had Mickey said? She tossed him a desperate glance of doubt, interrogating him in silence as he smiled.

"Right then, I'll see ya, Doc," said Mickey raising a hand. The Doctor raised his own with a good natured nod. To Mickey's benefit, the almighty Oncoming Storm seemed very much subdued. "Talk to you later, Rose," he then added, wrapping her up in a loving embrace. He squeezed tightly to remind her of their conversation and that he'd always be there for her.

She squeezed back, but hers was fear of letting go. She was afraid to be left alone with the Doctor… afraid to deal with his rejection so soon… afraid to move on into the day without knowing what Mickey had said while she was gone. With Mickey she had charted frontier she knew would never change… with her Doctor nothing stayed the same.

"'ey, would you mind stopping by the flat later? Just to check in on Mum for me?" she spoke over his shoulder. Mickey nodded into the crook of her neck, taking a deep breath before he pulled back."I've got the home front…" he promised. "You two just be careful!" he ordered, pointing accusingly at the Doctor as he made for the exit. The Doctor made innocent faces of incredulity, ignoring the slight glisten to the boy's eyes as he saw the doors close.

"Where's he off to so lively?" she asked. The Doctor shrugged aloofly, turning back to the console once again only to set their next coordinates. He was still having difficulty comprehending the weight of Mickey's gesture. The boy had grown so much in the short time he'd known him… the Doctor hadn't really noticed - until then. He was touched that Mickey trusted him so fully. That he was willing to give over the one thing in the world that meant the most to him to someone else… well even the best beings in the universe couldn't do that.

The Doctor regarded Rose as he reached for a lever. In her face he could see every ounce of happiness he'd experienced in ten lifetimes and every molecule of hope he held for future happiness in the days to come. Yet all he could think of was how badly he'd hurt Mickey and it pained him... He'd always known it had been him to come between them…

She was apprehensively gawping at the console lights trying to think of how to act with him when she felt his eyes on her. She looked up just in time to catch him spying and though he pretended to be looking past her she knew better and grinned. Just like it had been before he collapsed on her three nights ago. Perhaps things wouldn't change as severely as she feared. Perhaps there was a slim chance that the alien standing across from her really could view her romantically... On that prospect she built a foundation of courage with which to move around the controls to his left.

"Where are we going?" she mulled, trying to hide her anxiety. They had hardly had the time to wake up, much less to blast off into danger, but in all honesty, she shouldn't have been surprised. He gave her the smallest of smiles before turning to his right.

"To find out how a manipulator worked its way onto your head and who was trying to control you of course," he replied. He slowly sauntered around the controls pressing buttons and turning dials as he went. There was no real interest in it for him yet as the Tardis hadn't taken off and she followed blindly.

"Naturally," she smiled.

"Naturally," he chuckled, that time making eye contact. He set the date and time (she knew those controls well) and continued to move away from her.

Why was it that when he really felt guilty for being around her and just needed space, that she pressed in harder? Could she sense his doubt? His self reproach? Was that how she had managed to get so very integrated in his life without his consent, by doing it anyway? Did she know him that well? Every step she took behind him was hesitate. In the back of her mind he was sure there was something bubbling toward the surface that she only managed to keep down with well practiced over thinking.

"About that," she started, scratching the back of her neck nervy. He stopped wandering opposite her on the console, the heart beating in between them. "We never really got to - talk - about it and, I wanted you to know I'm sorry for how I behaved. I don't know what got into me - well I mean I do, at least what got ONto me, but still I - " His warm smile told her she didn't need to explain anymore, that he already knew and she could stop. So she did. Her eyes fell to the floor with a faint blush, trying to hide from him the plain vulnerability there. He was happy to see it, happy to know she felt the same way he did about it, and happy that he knew her as well as she seemed to know him… it was always in her eyes, he thought. Sometimes he could simply envision them and know what emotions were growing in that little brain of hers. It was like he could sense it, feel it even - at least to some degree. He leaned forward against the machinery.

"It wasn't really you per say. You were being… well manipulated seeing as there's a lack on a better term," he joked.

She chortled uneasily. What if she were to tell him right then that she loved him? Would he leave her? Would he find the tension on board too much and simply drop her off at the Powell Estate next chance he got? Could she live the rest of her life without knowing?

"Yeah, but I'm still sorry," she vowed, forcing her angst as far down as possible. She didn't have to do or say anything yet, she could still think on it for a while if she wanted. He'd never know the difference… He came around the console to stand in front of her, hands in his pant's pockets. A lopsided grin fought to lighten up the mood around them. She was positive that he knew she was hiding something from him. Positive that he was staring at her like that because he wanted to know… "I never should have yelled at you like that… I'm sorry. I wouldn't normally do that," she chattered defensively, hoping he would his suspicions. He allowed his playful air to slip off a little, those intensely dark eyes boring calmly into her skull.

He could always find passion there in her eyes. A bottomless pool of it, swimming with spirit and life that he could enjoy whenever he pleased. "I- I wouldn't normally kiss you either," she stuttered and he flinched, more than intended. That solved the issue then. Rose Tyler would never view him romantically, she would never want to kiss him and had never intended to to begin with. Despite the fact that he had just convinced himself that anything with her was better than anything without her - it hurt.

"Naw, It wasn't that bad," he assured sympathetically, boxing the pain away as he did so many other emotions. "I knew something was amiss when you lost it over me implying that you lead Mickey on…" he added and she smiled widely at the recent memory.

"Well, all I can say is thanks for knowing me so well then," she laughed and he answered with his own, weak smile. She was relieved by it, aside from the half hearted effort behind it. It told her that there wasn't anything they couldn't get through together, not if they tried, and that no matter how bad she felt for him they would always be together. It was encouraging and yet frightening in the same.

He couldn't bring himself to look away from her right then. To acknowledge that his love for her would perpetually remain one sided, that his lips would never graze hers in earnest, and that her head would never rest on his chest as she slept… it was too much to let go of all at once. So he held on to delusion a little while longer, pretending it didn't matter. Pretending that she was his for the taking and that would never change… She swallowed lightly in his trap, giving surrender to his overwhelming attentions without so much as a second thought. She was always so accommodating, his Rose - always so devoted to whatever he desired…

He could see everything in her eyes. Everything he'd ever wanted to see and never thought he could see. Everything she didn't say aloud and everything he wished she would. There was happiness, tinged with an odd variety of sadness about the edges, a combination that openly offered welcome and compassion to others by empathizing - something she'd given him. There was hope, affection, devotion, fear, and awe, adoration, respect, desire and stubborn will - all there in her stare and, for the first time in a long time, he felt his inhibitions cracking under duress.

How long had he been staring at her? How long had they been silent whilst their eyes held the conversation for them? How long would his cravings for her grow until he died beneath their weight?

He wanted to kiss her, wanted to feel her against him the way he had in her room. He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go. His palms were itching with restraint. "D-Doctor?" she whispered and a tremor ran down his spine. It was suddenly evident to him that if he didn't reign in his emotions then, that something terrible would happen between them. Something he was sure he would never forgive himself for.

"Right! So off we go then?" he chirped and ceremoniously rounded the console to put space between them. He couldn't look at her again, not if he planned to control himself, and he did. "Every manipulator put into creation was given a general serial code and individual statistics like a sort of finger print to identify it by, just like humans have -only with the manipulator it's binary data is engraved into its brain." Rose turned to look at him over her shoulder. She hadn't moved when he walked away. She'd stayed glued to the spot hoping that he might come back, that he hadn't just rejected her without a single word… but he kept talking. "Now the chip that came off you is no different." He pressed on in false cheer, his hands nimbly wandering the controls. She could see it. She could tell he was trying to hide something from her, trying to mask some terrible emotion he didn't want her to see. It was only her curiosity that proved strong enough to lift the hurt off her face and return her to his side.

"The TARDIS can read this information clearly," he said, lifting a yellow sheet of paper into the light as she came nearer. "This would be the print out version… all we do is follow it straight to the manufacturer on the given development date and start asking questions." He handed her the paper for her personal inspection and bent to look at the monitors. "Which looks to be Russia, circa 3345. Hm, not so bad a year if you had to chose one I suppose." He flashed her an empty grin of defeat, but she wasn't looking at him anymore. Her eyes had trickled down to the console and he couldn't help but feel slightly guilty. There she'd been - the one woman he wanted more than anything, the one person who had changed his entire life - and he had turned away from her, callously changing the subject in the midst of a heated moment that he had instigated. She was still fragile after a week under the chip's influence. He was wrong to indulge in his own emotions when she needed his understanding.
-She listened when he spoke, barely scanning over the oddly shaped numbers and symbols on the read out he'd given her. None of it felt real. None of their usual banter made sense. It was all an effort to cover up what had happened before and she wasn't sure she wanted to. He had been so close to doing what she yearned for, to saying the things she would die to hear… at least she had thought he was. She couldn't understand what had caused him to throw himself into reverse so abruptly. There had been, for all appearances, something mounting between them until then. The only possible thing she could come up with to explain it was a lack of romantic interest on his behalf, but even then his behavior wasn't right. If anyone knew the Doctor, it was her, so if he truly wanted to gently let her down she would know. This was nothing like that. It seemed almost like he was trying to let himself down instead? Was that it? Was he convincing himself out of loving her? Because if that was true, she would have to remedy the situation immediately.

"It does seem, however, that there is a 'slight' flaw in that thought process," he interrupted with a sigh. She looked up. "The restoration procedure can utterly deplete any source of main and back materials in the ship's supply. Meaning that, as we didn't have much to start off with, we now have even less… there's practically no fuel or supplies … left… on board. What?"

"What?"

"You were looking at me just then."

"You don't want me to look at you?" she asked coyly and batted her eyelashes ever so lightly. He squirmed under her stare, knowing something dangerous lay within them for him.

"No, I don't mind but - " She closed the space between them quickly and pressed her lips gently into his before he could finish. It was intentional this time. She wanted him to know exactly how she felt about him and it took every ounce of courage she'd ever possessed.He responded immediately, lips moving slowly while his hands swiftly cupped the edges of her face. It was one more chance for him to hold the sweet purity of Rose in his arms again and before he'd have to let it pass. So he indulged. For one more instance his control slipped and he dwelled in the electricity of her kiss -- until his brain screamed for him to stop. She had done this twice before, once recently, and neither of those times had been purposeful. He was crazy to believe it was any different then. He was also wrong to take advantage of it. He wretched away bitterly, avoiding the hurt on her face as he had before, knowing that one glimpse of it could break his resolve. He placed four fingers to the sides of her temples to investigate her mind and whatever had it taken over that time.

"Doctor?" she questioned, when he neglected to explain. He grunted in response, his countenance warped in a way she wasn't used to and a tragic concentration pouring off of him. He wasn't going to dig deep. It was her mind, not his, and she would feel greatly invaded if he did. She did deserve an explanation however, he realized with delay

"Mind control or possession… I'm checking for anything that could've made you do that… kabflax perhaps, " he added in that thoughtful way she knew held no intent of showing off.

"Kabflax?" she questioned again, hiding a smirk. He truly didn't know how she felt! The man must've been blind and deaf surely.

"It's a serum that induces psychotic behavior in humans, but cures sysroistra in - 'partial humans'," he answered quietly. "Not that I'm calling you psychotic," he promised as his hands returned to his sides. She grinned teasingly at him.

"Oh. So no mind control then?" The Doctor crossed his arms baffled. He had found nothing more than a lingering side effect of the Manipulator chip and it all it would ever do was give her hallucinations, not make her randomly kiss people.

"No." His replied serious. The expression on his face could've told her that, but she retained her smile. Realization dawned on him much too late. "That was you?" he awed. The question, so pregnant with meaning and feeling, came out completely small and hesitant from him. She didn't think him capable of it. Yet, he was doing a lot of things lately she never would've expected. He could read the answer in her eyes, though he hid his excitement. "How long?" She fidgeted anxiously, knowing the answer would probably lead her to more rejection than he'd already dealt her but never wanting to hid anything from him.

"Forever?"

"…and Mickey?" The words stung.

"… We - sort of broke up last night…" she whispered. "He kept saying he was tired of standing in the way and… that I'm really in love with you." She glanced at him, hoping that he wouldn't pace away in the typical manner of his avoidance. Sometimes she knew him too well for her own good.

"In love with me?" he repeated astounded and she had to forcefully squelch a giggle. His jaw dangled limply at the idea and he was shocked to say the least. She couldn't tell rather it was good shock or bad shock, but either way she didn't want to take the chance. So she did what every respectable Tyler woman would do with their dignity on the line, she pretended it hadn't happened.

"Isn't that crazy? I - " but she never completed her sentence. He silenced her with a firm hand on the small of her back, jerking her into him as he gazed heatedly down on her. She swallowed hard at the darkened intensity of his gaze and the new feel of his double heart beats against her chest. This was a look she had never seen before and probably never would again. His arms tightened possessively.

"Rose… are you in love with me?"

She smiled nervously at him. "I already told you," she scolded. "- forever." He didn't wait for anything else to be said. In a flurry of kisses he passionately claimed her lips beneath his and squeezed held her closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck immediately, feeling him shudder beneath her touch as she offered up parted lips. Eagerly he accepted the invitation, sliding his tongue slowly in and over the roof of her mouth making her moan. The very sound told him that it was real, that they were really kissing of their own accord and really liking it.

She suckling at the new talented appendage in her mouth, her fingers running roughly through his hair. He leaned in for more, desperate to know every flavor of her lips as she lost her balance. Together they stumbled back, the console being the only thing that prevented them from tumbling furiously into the floor. She broke from him with a surprised giggle and he rested his forehead against hers.

"Wow," she rasped, her lungs crying out for oxygen. He nodded agreement. She toyed with his hair for a moment more, trying to put words together to describe how she felt as the Tardis rumbled contentedly beneath her. "Wow," she repeated and he smiled from ear to ear. Somehow she knew how happy he was, how utterly relieved and grateful he felt even though he hadn't said a word.

"I know!" he whispered.

"So then… I take it this means - you're in love with me too?" she goaded, bringing him back to conscious thought and placing a frown over that lovely grin. His eyes held discomfort and sadness as he sucked some air in through his teeth dramatically.

"Well… I suppose. Seeing as you didn't really leave me any other choice now did you?" She lifted her chin stubbornly, the joy flooding her veins held down.

"Can't say that I did," she replied. He gripped her to him again, pressing her pelvis into his lower chest as he suffocated the conversation with his kiss. She melted into him languidly.

"AH! I just - I just feel like screaming!!" he cheered suddenly, breaking away from her and twirling with his arms in the air. She laughed out right as he then danced around the controls, smiling that smile that wouldn't go away, that would always be there for her. "I mean can you believe it??" he cried, circling back to face her. "You and me?? In love? The two of us?? Like regular people?!" She laughed again and shook her head.

"Nope." He beamed at her lovingly, keenly aware that no one would ever replace her, no one would ever be better than her… she was it. She was that once in a lifetime love and that once in a million person. Her thirst for adventure, her adoration of life, her use of sarcasm to make the hardest things easier… there would never in the existence of time be another Rose Tyler…

"You are just - fantastic." he cooed, staring at her. "Just absolutely, positively, bloody fantastic… You know that?" She slid off the control panel he had held her against seconds before and moved to stand beside him.

"I have heard that," she answered cheekily.

"Rightfully so. Because its true," he chuckled dumbly as he turned to set some new coordinates. "I've met a lot of people Rose, a lot, and never has there ever been anyone more suited to that word than you… Have you ever thought about changing your name to it?" She sank back into the pilot's chair behind him, preparing for the inevitable lift of the time machine and watching him intently. She ignored the joke. Finding out what he was up to was far more interesting.

"Where are we going?" He turned back to face her with his hands in his pockets.

"Well," he started, rocking back and forth on his feet. "We were going to go ahead and check out that manipulator chip that found its way behind your ear. I mean really, I can't just let people go around controlling you now can I? But now my little Rose, I think we'll make a stop off first." She raised a curious eyebrow of concern.

"At?"

"If I told you that'd ruin the surprise," he retorted wickedly. "But what I can tell you is this," he added, leaning over her so that his hands were on either side of the chair. "Its not to see your mother." She smirked deviously at him, knowing full well where he was going with that, and guided him toward her by the knot in his tie.
-The Tardis touched ground moments later with both time travelers still snogging by the console. The Doctor was bent over Rose in his pilot's chair, aimlessly reveling in the taste of her kiss. He had managed to get between her legs along the way and was caressing the side of her face and was too distracted to notice. Rose, on the other hand, was very aware the ship had landed. She was intensively curious as to what sort of surprise he had thought up and tried to pull away until he followed her.

"We've landed," she chuckled weakly between kisses.

"I don't care," he retorted and she had to stop him before he kissed her again.

"But shouldn't we like, go see what's going on outside though?" she reasoned. He almost growled with frustration, his nostrils flaring impatiently.

"No."

"But - I really wanted to see my surprise," she pleaded and he glowered at her unhappily as though she had just denied him his favorite candy. She pouted back.

"Aw c'mon Rose," he begged, throwing a new distressed tone into his voice to make her cave. She gave him her best 'pretty please' bat of the eyes, the one that always convinced him to do something he shouldn't do just because she wanted him to and he groaned. He knew that face. He didn't like that face. "Oh FINE," he groaned. Rose clapped her hands overjoyed.

"Yay!" He wandered away to the console to check the read outs.

"You might want to get changed though," he added. She jumped out of the chair and placed a sweet peck on his cheek before running for the hall.

"I'll only be a minute," she promised and immediately was out of view. When she was out of earshot he slumped back into the chair defeated, grinning like a wild man at the prize he'd won. She would never know what she could do to him.

It didn't take her long to come barreling back into the room. She beamed cheekily at him from the doorway, cheeks flushed from hurrying and eyes glittering with mischief. She had put her hair back up into the ponytail, saving her a little on time, but her clothes had changed. He noted with satisfaction the tight blue jeans she wore and the long sleeved white top that she had jazzed up with a red zip up fleece vest. His only concern was that she'd be too warm on the planet's surface. He grinned back at her, throwing on his coat and excitedly heading for the door.

"Close your eyes," he ordered before she could reach him and she stopped herself from taking his hand. Instinctively they went her to hips instead.

"Why would I do that?" she demanded.

"Because I said so. Do it," he insisted. She huffed but did as told and he grinned again. He'd like to see anyone else try taming her the way he did, they'd die half way through.

"Am I gonna have to slap you for this 'surprise'?" she asked suddenly and his laugh escaped before he could stop it. She peeked an eye open to look at him curiously.

"No, you aren't," he assured, gently dragging his thumbs over her eyelids to close them back. She obeyed the silently repeated order, standing more rigidly to mirror his seriousness. He smirked. "To which I am particularly glad, as I haven't yet forgotten my last encounter with a Tyler slap." A snort of laughter ripped through her then and he took her hand. "Keep them closed," he added.

Rose allowed the Doctor to guide her out of the Tardis without hesitation. She trusted him, perhaps too much, but she trusted him. It was only on the last step, the one that let her down out of the ship, that she faltered. It caused her to slide forward and he had jump in front of her before she hit the ground. She heard him sigh that "stupid ape" sigh in her left ear and felt his arms shiver with adrenaline. Her eyes snapped open to glare at him.

"Well its not like I could -- see or anything--" she tapered off. "Wow…" Her words fell short of any real emotion, dangling at the end of her lips as her jaw hung open. Bewildered he turned to see what stopped her.

"What? What're you looking at??" he demanded, eyes roaming over sky and land.

"The sky."

"Yeah? What about it. Haven't you ever seen a sky before? And I told you to close your eyes."

"Its purple," she insisted.

"Yeah but its still just a sky."

"Its purple," she repeated indifferent to his attitude, watching as gray clouds rolled by.

"Well if I had thought you'd be so fixated on something that simple I would've shot for somewhere a little less expensive," he groaned, sliding his hands into his pockets. She looked at him confused.

"What do you mean?" He gestured behind her with his head, telling her to turn around and see for herself the beauties that awaited her. She almost fell over again. There, just beyond a field of yellow grass and nested in front of a horizon of blue mountains was the most spectacular site he'd yet to show her. Hovering cars zoomed by and danced in the sky as clouds poured rain on and off on cue. Balloons and people did tricks in the air and raucously played music wafted up to her. It looked like a carnival, a gigantic city sized carnival full of dazzlingly colors and twinkling lights. Screams whimpered in from the rides, wailing in all directions all over the city while smells of exotic foods and drinks sailed up at them like waves. Cheering reverberated less audibly from all corners of the visible land. "Oh my gawd," she whispered awestruck. "That… that's… its beautiful! Where are we??"

"The Nabuck galaxy, about oh 50 thousand light years from earth on a little planet known the universe over as Orleans. It's the first planet of its kind, devoted entirely to the preservation and growth of fun and party, stretching the size of … Saturn I think would be closest." He moved to stand next to her, inclining his head her direction as he spoke. She listened intently, never taking her eyes off the scene in front of her while he preened ecstatically at her elbow. "That there in front of us would be called Ong-NAK," he emphasized. "Largest city on Orleans and record holder for largest carnival like environment for hundreds of galaxies… though I think Reblar is trying to take away that title…" he trailed off in thought.

"Hold on, Orleans?" she questioned, looking at him with a full smile. He smiled back, his train of thought abandoned to whim. "Like New Orleans? On earth?"

"The very same. You see Ong-nak is also Orleans' capital and holds the majority of the planet's control structure. Here they decide on advertisements throughout the universe, security over the planet, where to import food from, radiation level adjustments, etc. and one day they thought to expand, to make a sister planet in another end of the universe where they could increase their profits for lesser developed civilizations."

"And they targeted earth?"

"That's right! They landed smack dab in the middle of the Mexican mountains with their delegation team, ran into some friendly American explorers who they eventually made their mark on and then left"
"Wait, if they left what happened? Why'd they leave?" The Doctor took her hand again and started walking toward the city below, swinging their arms enthusiastically as she gazed at him.

"Well, they also ran into other explorers that weren't so friendly."

"The Mexicans?"

"Nah, Mexicans don't really care about aliens. Quite fascinated with them actually. Anyway, they were Germans, well future Germans. Gave them a decent fight for the times and sent them running home with their tails between their legs. That moment on all Orleans gave up the idea of a sister planet."

"So the Americans named the city after the aliens they met?"

"Yup. And many of the original travelers hung around to try and make it worthy of the title."

Rose laughed so hard that she jerked him forward with her. "That's fantastic!!" she piped.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Toward the evening they had ridden at least 30 different rides until Rose got so motion sick she vowed to rip his arm off if he tried getting her on another. He surrendered bemused and opted to introduce her to the self proclaimed 'orgasmic' shopping experience on the outskirts instead. He lived to regret that decision after sitting by a wine fountain for three hours waiting on her to come back out. She waved at him from a window in each store she entered, joyously pointing to the new article of clothing she didn't really need but was going to purchase anyway. It was growing on the fourth hour when he finally gave up and followed her into a designer store. She quickly dumped all her bags into his arms and ignored the way the weight of them dropped his height by an inch.

"What in the world did you buy, a small factory?" he screeched in disbelief.

"Sort of. I got mum's Christmas, birthday, anniversary and anytime gifts ahead of schedule. I got Shireen an adorable little red dress with -- "

"Who all did you buy for???"

"Well, lesse… me… Mickey, mum, Shireen, cousin Sarah, auntie Gorge, uncle Paul, Bev (the pot simply screamed her name) and I think great aunt Clara… can't remember. And before you ask," she started just as he opened his mouth to exclaim his outrage, "I didn't buy just clothes. I got some books, some albums, some clothes, candles, music, movies, cards, um…." she twisted up her lower lip in thought.

"How much did you spend??" he squeaked. Hadn't he explained how expensive this planet was???

"Only about $3000, no big… right?" she replied and turned to face the new rack of clothes on her right.

"No big?? Rose, that's a lot of money!"

"And? You can get unlimited funds can't you?"

"Yeah but that doesn't mean I SHOULD! What if somebody realizes that money's just gone missing and connects the dots that it was all being spent by some puny earth ape from the year 2006 on clothes? I can't just go around doing whatever I want, Rose. It draws far too much attention!"

"You think I don't know that? Its not like I was trying -- hold on. Puny earth ape?"

"Oh you knew what I meant! You can't get all of this. Take some of it back"
"But - but -" she pleaded, breaking out her puppy face once again.

"No buts, Rose. It's too conspicuous."

"But - I like the things I bought… I got you something too," she pouted, staring him in the eye. The muscles in his jaw tightened against her efforts and she knew she was breaking through his barriers. Several store employees, some in human appearance - most not, glanced at the two, but she paid them no mind.

"It doesn't matter, that's way too much money… What did you get me?" he added, rummaging through the bags. If she got him more boxers with bananas on them he wanted to know now. She snatched them shut to keep his eyes from snooping.

"I'm not gonna tell you! You're making me return them!" she snapped.

"Oh c'mon!"

"Nope."

"Just a little?" She giggled at the lovable way his face curled up when he whined but retrieved the rest of the bags from his grasp and headed for the return counter, nose in the air. The employees who had been watching with amusement snickered as she went past.

"Unh unh. You'll just have to wonder," she replied. He lingered behind her for a second, brain running on empty as to how to out think her when she was so precisely under his skin. Sometimes he hated that girl!

"Fine! You can keep the stuff… now just tell me what you got me!" he demanded, rushing along behind her as a couple of blue women chuckled knowingly at him and he blushed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"How much longer are we going to shop??" he moaned and let his head drop into his hands. He was sitting in a soft recliner by the shoe department of Faxco Inc. while his beautifully disshelved companion sat in the floor surrounded by shoes. He was beginning to think Rose was obsessed. Five hours now, five! They had been shopping for FIVE hours. He was a patient man when it came to Rose but even that had a line. She looked up at him questioningly as she hadn't heard a word he'd said.

"I'm sorry? I didn't hear you… these shoes are just too awesome! Check it out, a little mock society in the heel of this shoe! How interesting is that???" she chattered, holding it up for him to see. He rolled his eyes. "Doctor?"

"How can you shop for five hours? Scratch that. How can anyone shop for five hours? I mean really it's unnatural… you're unnatural Rose Tyler!" She smiled sincerely at him, the way a teacher smiles at a student.

"Please! This stopped being about shopping long ago. Now its more like… a school field trip," she replied, "and an enjoyable one at that." She put the shoe down and lifted another to inspection. He gazed at her transfixed. He had thought she was just shopping to be shopping, going fanatical over all the cute merchandise and stellar sales, but he hadn't considered the rarity that was Rose. She wasn't like normal people. She did things far more different and surprising than even he expected and that was saying something. First she had learned Gallifreyan just to make life a little easier on the Tardis, then she spends the whole afternoon sitting in stores and watching fellow customers simply to learn more about the culture? He was impressed, and not for the first time. "You're bored aren't you?" He blinked, pulled back to real time by her voice. His response was a dull stare and she giggled. "You've already seen all this, it's all new to me! Its all so beautiful and different. Everything here tells a story, everywhere we go tells a story. I guess I just got caught up in it…" she apologized whole heartedly. He sighed.

"Well you've got that right. Everything has a story. There's a lot to learn out there and this is just the tip of the iceberg… do you plan to spend your whole life sitting and learning?" he lectured. She scoffed affronted.

"Like you can talk, Mr. Throw Yourself In It's More Interesting That Way. I suppose you can think of something more fun?"

"Like having every finger nail slowly removed, one at a time?"

"Why are you even here? I thought you hated 'shopping'," she muttered.

"Well I didn't think you'd be this long," he retorted sharply and readjusted their now armada of bags.

"Oh you're full of it!" she countered, tongue between her teeth. "You're just here because you love me. And - I'll bet," she deduced, "you don't really care so long as I'm happy." There was too much confidence in her voice for his comfort and so he shot back with a defensive: "Liar" before any silence could sit between them. She grinned at him. "But fair is fair. I'm willing to bet you can think of something much more fun to do that doesn't involve sitting…can't you? Somewhere in that big brain of yours? A place like this has to have fun things to do, yeah?" With the way she had said it he honestly believed the immensity of his intelligence turned her on, but then again, there were stranger things in the universe than an intellectually stimulated human female. He eyed her suspiciously. Was she coming on to him? Was that even her intent or was she toying with him? His stony features revealed nothing of thoughts and she hated it. Without warning he turned toward the door and started walking. "Doctor?" No response. "Where are you going?… Doctor?" She threw the shoes back into the floor and leapt to her feet shouting an apology to the employee who would have to clean it up as she raced out the door.-
"Alright… you win! I surrender. This place is absolutely beautiful. I admit it, you're the surprise king," she cooed. The Doctor chuckled lightly, bouncing her head on his chest. He had brought her to the most romantic spot in all of Orleans, Shimmer Falls. There he stretched out on his coat in front of the largest waterfall cluster of the group and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arm snuggly over his torso.

Colored lights, very similar to those of the park before, sparkled and moved behind their crystal green curtain of water. It reminded her of a ballet or a poem… anything carefully constructed for elegance and wonder. The bags, or rather the things Rose had collected with her unlimited spending capabilities, were set to the Doctor's right in the shade of an oddly shaped tree, while their owners soaked up any remaining warmth from the setting sun. The Doctor's eyes traveled upward to the evening sky. The rich black and blues had always captivated him about that place. "Oh I dunno," he finally replied. "You're pretty beautiful… and you're always doing something to surprise me… I say we share," he grinned. She lifted her head enough to turn and face him, playfully digging her chin between his pecks as he winked at her cheekily.

"Deal," she blushed. "Now, tell me something."

"Shoot."

"Why did you bring me to the most romantic spot in Ong-nak?" she smirked. It was his turn to blush then, unwittingly giving away his thoughts. He looked back to the sky again.

"Not just Ong-nak, but all of Orleans. And who said this was the most romantic spot?" he asked seriously. She frowned. He was right. There had been no signs advertising it as such and he hadn't called it that… So how had she known? And how had she known how he felt in the Tardis? It had been like reading his emotions off a book… To hide how much those thoughts disturbed her, she chose another topic.

"So it is the most romantic spot?" He looked back at her with a lazy smile.

"Of course it is. Where else do you think I'd take you? I mean this is the best place to get a good snog," he answered and she gasped in shock of his boldness. The Doctor was cunning that way, thinking when no one else was. Pushing herself up on her elbows she crawled suggestively toward his lips.

"You sly dog, you!" she taunted, dangling her mouth over his as bait. He was weak when it came to her, a fact she liked very much. He lifted his head immediately to take it and she shivered. He couldn't hold out even for a second, she thought evilly. She, on the other hand, could hold out for much longer. She took a breath before responding.

Two hours later, once the sun had finally set and they had finally stopped snogging, the Doctor sat up to face the falls while Rose laid in his lap fast asleep. He didn't mind at all. The position kept him close to her and out of mischief while she was asleep… and occasionally a planetary employee would stop by to service the area and bring him refreshments. The first time, Rose had been awake to see them. She asked countless questions about why they were half pink - half orange, why they spent their entire lives in servitude, and if there was space on the planet reserved for their homes. He had answered them as best he could. He knew that Orleans had a moon on which all Orleaningian natives lived and that they commuted there every day in different shifts. Also that they were half pink/orange due to the opposing polar levels of radiation on said moon and that some of them were even radioactive. He didn't know how they spent their lives though. Really he didn't care. They appeared happy enough from the few conversations he'd had with them and if there had been a problem he would've picked up on it before then. It was when she asked if they were in any danger of becoming radioactive themselves that she finally passed out. He had to chuckle at her. She should've known better by then that he'd never intentionally take her somewhere dangerous without telling her first.