Sorry for not updating earlier, because it's either been because of school, or because I've haven't had any ideas.

Things You Probably Shouldn't Say or Do

While on Atlantis

By Jezza

Number 5 – When looking for work off Dr McKay's Laptop, don't mention his screensaver of Col. Carter to anyone, he sicks Ronon onto you.

Yeah, funny story, on one of my many stays in the labs, not all from punishment, I might add, I decided to check Dr McKay's computer for the info we needed. The first thing I see, a half-naked picture of Col. Samantha Carter, on the screen, (I had nightmares for days), & I was stupid enough to tell the Doctor I was helping. The next thing I know, Dr McKay walks in the room, & starts to threaten me. Of cause, I don't think much into it at the time, but as I later found out, I was wrong. I think I got 20 metres away from when I started, before Ronon caught me, picked me up by my shirt, & started threaten me. Not fun, I was almost shitting myself.

Number 6 – When looking for work on McKay's laptop, don't blow it up………

Yeah, it was bad, but it was an accident this time. I mean it. Me & this laptop don't mix, (like me & boredom). Once again, I find myself in one of the labs, helping the same doctor, & once again I need to go to McKay's laptop to find something. But this time I got to the work I needed, but it was password protected. So, I've forgotten how many times I tried to enter 'My' access code, which didn't work, before I started hearing a beeping sound, & a number on the screen. The next thing I know, it blew up. Seriously, who has a freaking explosive device, as a security measure, that man is insane. Read on for the aftermath.

Number 7 – Don't try & escape from the infirmary, Beckett is smarter then that, & is not afraid to shoot you.

Not literally, but never the less, with a Wraith Stunner. I know have to thank Sheppard for that one, always trying to escape the infirmary. So where was I, oh yeah? This one happened right after blowing up McKay's laptop. I was getting patched up by Dr Beckett, the Scottish doctor, also known as the CMO, or Chief Medical Officer, telling me to rest, & asking how I managed it, when a furious McKay, carrying the remains of said laptop, followed by Ronon, & Sheppard, on a unrelated matter, something about contraceptives, if I recall correct. So, what is my first reaction… you guessed it, RUN! I didn't even manage to get 3 feet out the door, when Beckett shot me, which caused me to go head first into the wall, which I didn't feel by the way. Dr Weir wasn't impressed that I blew up McKay's laptop, but she thought my injuries were enough punishment.

Number 8 – Don't go walking around the city at night, you never know what you might find.

Are yeah, that's something I never thought would be a bad thing. I couldn't sleep one night, so I decided to go for a walk, or run. This city never ceases to amaze me, the only light that were on in the whole city, were either, the labs, the gym, or the control room, no other light came on. Trust me, the night shift are crazy, so I decided not to go there. So the gym was my next destination. I think I got within 10 metres of the gym, before I started hearing grunting, so I thought, someone must have been up, then the next thing I hear is a moan. I later found out that it was Ronon & Teyla sparring, but that wasn't what I thought, at the time, so I quickly moved on. The labs were next. I heard McKay & Dr Brown (AN. Katie Brown, the botanist, I think), talking softly, & giggling, so I once again, backed away & left, (They were having a romantic evening since they had the night shift). Ok, guess what I heard on one the balconies, Dr Weir moaning, "Oh John, John, John!" That was all I heard before I got scared & ran, (Sheppard was giving Dr Weir a massage). So I quickly went back to my room, & tried to sleep which I managed.

I hope you enjoy, & if you have ANY ideas, please tell me, I need some ideas.

BTW, if you want to borrow my character, just PM me that you're using him, & then go ahead, I will most likely get it within a day of you sending it.

Laters

Jezza