Sorry for not updating earlier, because it's either been because of school, or because I've haven't had any ideas.
Things You Probably Shouldn't Say or Do
While on Atlantis
By Jezza
Number 9 – Don't make a reference to Sheppard, & Bugs. Not Fun.
I pity the poor bastard who said this one, & it wasn't me, thank god. Nah, one of the new guys, heard about when the Colonal was turned into a mutant bug man. I was there & trust me, what followed, stopped anyone from saying anything like that again. You don't go saying, "Hey Bugman, how ya going?" to the colonal. Not a very smart idea. Let me put it this way, Sheppard grabbed him by the shirt, called for me to come, & dragged him to the Jumper Bay. We flew about 1-2 km out from Atlantis, & told him to jump. Weel, he wouldn't jump, so Sheppard threaten to shot him, at which point, we would then throw him out. He jumped, & I almost followed him to, because of one of my stupid comments. Almost.
Number 10 – No matter how important the mission is, DO NOT sleep with (in a sense) a teenage, virgin Wraith Queen!
Trust me, the smeel stays with you for days, & those claws... Ouch. Ok, maybe I should explain. We found out that a particular hive, whose queen, was, in a sense, a teenager, who had been passed on the control of the Hive, by her still alive mother, wanted an allaince, & peace. We hesitantly agreed,but it was proven to be true, when one of their datrs, picked up on of our teams, & dropped them of safe & sound. Well, this came about because we found a race, called the Eildons, who worshipped the Wraith, & were as technologically as advanced as we were, before the Stargate program. So, there meaner, & deadlier then the Genii, who also happen to be having a Cold War with. Well, to find out more about them, we decided that a few of us should act like Wraith Worshippers. It was acturally good fun, but my part, was to be the Queen's personal pleasure slave, or Consort, I can't remember, so I had to break her in. Trust me, it was amazing, but is the most weird thing that I have ever done, & is just wrong. I won't go into details, so you can use your imagination.
Number 11 – When being shot at, & running to the gate, make sure that the DHD is working.
Otherwise, make sure you have enough ammo, till backup arrives. Well after causing a ruckess on the Eildon homeworld, & making ourselves, probably the best party animals, of all of our enemies, (Emo/Punk clothing, & dress sense, & Heavy Euro Trance, booming throughout the city). Well, normal mission for SGA-1, except Sheppard & McKay both had the week off, so Major Lorne had joined us. Well, it didn't go to well, & we ended up in a fire fight, while waiting for backup, since the DHD, was stuffed. As fun as seeing how many we can kill, before we lose, or backup comes, it isn't fun when you get shot. We finally contained them enough, so a Jumper could come through, & dial as home.
Number 12 – When being shot at, don't keep trying to dial the same address. If it doesn't work, DIAL SOMEWHERE ELSE!!
I'm not the only one to do this, but I did get in shit for it. It was a routine mission, except that McKay & Sheppard were both still on their week off, so Major Lorne was still part of the team. Well put it this way, when does any routine mission go to plan. We got attacked by the Eildon's on a planet, but when we tried to dial home, the wormhole wouldn't engage. Little did we know, that it was the weekly check in from the SGC. So, not thinking, & while being shot at repetitively, I tried repeatly tried to dial home. I'm surprised that I can still use my left arm, after that incident. When we finally got through, thrust me, I wasn't expecting the guest that I had.
Number 13 – Don't come home running through the gate, while being shot at, when your girlfriend from Earth, is standing on the balcony next to Dr. Weir's office, talking to Dr. Weir.
Yep, not a smart idea, but what can I say, but I couldn't help it. I didn't know she was going to be there. But coming through the gate, last, while being shot at, & being shot up (remember, my left arm, that had been shot repetitively), then falling unconsious, probably isn't the best thing to do, when your girlfriend is waiting for you, who you haven't seen for months. She didn't leave my side for weeks after that.
Number 14 – Don't walk through the gate, saying "Hallowed are the Ori." after coming back from a mission. They can't take a joke at the SGC.
Self explained. Not smart. I did it as a joke, on a break from Atlantis. Not the best idea, doing that, with the Book of Origin in your hands. I was locked up for a day, before they found out it was a joke. (A.N. Sorry, I know it's a SG-1 plot, but I couldn't keep it to myself.)
Hope you enjoy it, & please review, & pass on some ideas, I badly need them.
Peoples, I don't mind if you use my characters (or races), just PM me, & use them, I want to see what people say about them (BTW, the teenage wraith queen was named... umm... Kristy, by Sheppard (& another Character, who wanted to name a Wraith)
Thanks
Jezza