"Rose is gone and I'll never get her back."
Sarah's heart sank. Gone could mean just about anything. Rose left him, or they left each other… Or Rose was dead… That wasn't a thought Sarah Jane wanted to entertain. She desperately needed to know what had happened, but The Doctor looked so shellshocked, she was afraid that he'd clam up on her, or worse… He'd just leave again. "It was different with her, wasn't it?" Sarah Jane asked. "You loved her." The Doctor nodded. Sarah couldn't avoid the question any longer. "Is she dead?"
"No!" The Doctor exclaimed. "God, no. Sorry, I'm not really explaining this well, am I? You have to understand, she came along at a time when things were very bad. I'd just lost everyone. The Time War wiped them all out… and it was hard. And it was horrible… And I had lost any desire to go on. I traced these Autons to a shop in London where Rose was working. I was going to blow the place up with me in it… Just finish it all and find some peace." He closed his eyes and sighed. "And then I saw her. If I hadn't led her out of there, she'd have been killed in the explosion."
"Love at first sight?"
"Not in the slightest!" The Doctor laughed. "I followed a signal to her flat, sorted out a bit of bother and then she started following me. Asking me questions, not in the least bit phased or scared by what I said to her. So I asked her to come with me. She saved me. Saved my life… saved me from myself. And I never told her."
"I don't doubt that you will get the chance to." Sarah said quietly. "You always find a way."
"Any attempt to retrieve Rose will result in the collapse of at least two universes." The Doctor sighed. "I've searched for rifts, gaps, micro fractures and I've done the calculations. It's impossible… and that's a word I'm not too fond of."
Sarah sighed. He was still trying to make light of the situation, which meant he was really hurting. She took his hand between hers and looked straight into his sad, tired eyes. "Just tell me. Tell me everything."
And he did. The Doctor told Sarah Jane everything that happened in Torchwood Tower. How the Tylers and Mickey were now in a parallel universe and his frantic search to find a way through to Rose. And while he didn't get the breakthrough he was looking for, "…At least I got to say goodbye. Give her some closure." He smiled sadly, trying to fight back the tears. "And before I could draw breath, the next thing that happens is that there is a woman, in a wedding dress, in my TARDIS."
"A wedding dress?" Sarah laughed. "You didn't waste any time!"
"Yeah!" The Doctor smiled. "Get me, Tiger! My mail order bride from Gobby Brides R Us arrived just in time!"
"You know, It wouldn't have been the first time someone wandered in to the TARDIS, uninvited." Sarah Jane laughed. "Where were you parked?"
"Oh, a few miles from a supernova." The Doctor took another long drink of wine, draining his glass.
"Are you sure you're not confusing it with a Superdrugs?" Sarah raised an eyebrow, feeling relieved that she had raised his spirits a little.
He smiled as he picked up the nearby wine bottle and refilled his own glass and topped up Sarah Jane's. "I suppose you heard about the Thames?"
"You?"
"Me."
"I knew it!"
"It's not like we did it on purpose."
"We?" Sarah Jane raised an eyebrow.
"Ah, yes… Donna Noble. The afformentioned woman in the wedding dress." The Doctor rolled his eyes. "A virago of a woman… I suppose I couldn't really blame her, though. She was walking down the aisle when she got transported to the TARDIS." The Doctor spent the next hour regaling Sarah Jane with his antics with Donna. Wayne, The Rachnoss, Huon particles, evil Christmas Trees, Robot Santas and car chases on the motorway all culminating in the draining of the Thames. "And that led me here… To you. I know we said goodbye last Summer and you didn't expect to see me again… But… I" he began to falter. "I just couldn't be alone. I needed a friendly face." His head dropped and he couldn't look at her. Sarah silently wrapped her arms around The Doctor and held him close to her. She could give a good hug too! The Doctor held on to her, never more grateful for some contact. "Thank you." He whispered.
When he eventually released his hold on her, Sarah Jane couldn't help but stare at his tired eyes. They had none of the sparkle that had been there in Deffry Vale. They weren't dead, but not close off fatally wounded. "Look at you." She placed a gentle hand on his cheek. "You're exhausted. When was the last time you actually ate something?"
The Doctor thought for a moment. Dinner at Jackie's before going to Torchwood? A couple of days ago?… Another lifetime ago? "It's been a while. Good job I don't get hypoglycemic!" His attempt at a smart remark was met with a disaproving Harrumph! "But something to eat would be good."
"Sit down and I'll see what I can rustle up."
The Doctor settled back into Sarah Jane's sofa. The cushions were positioned perfectly at his back and the warmth from the fire had the overall effect of making him feel quite comfortable. The knawing, hollow emptiness of the last few days was still there, but it didn't feel as all consuming. Maybe it was the 2 glasses of wine… or maybe it was because he was exhausted. Time Lords didn't need to sleep that much, but he had raced from one situation to another. Closing the rift, the frantic search for one last gap, Donna. It had all finally caught up with him and he was spent. His eyelids slid closed. 'Just for a minute… just resting my eyes.' The Doctor thought. 'Sarah will be out with food in a moment and I'll wake up then.'