Disclaimer: Yeah... For the last time (seriously, last chapter of this story) I don't own any of these characters and, hand to God, I don't make any money off it... And... yeah... You know the rest. Thanks for reading!
Chapter 9
Mad Hattery
Babs raced down the aisles of Arkham cells. She turned down one aisle, and then down the second one after that, skidding to a halt in front of the sheet glass of a cell half way down the hall built for those Batman had put away.
There lied the Mad Hatter on his bed, facing away from the glass, his right foot on his left knee, moving it to the tune he hummed, completely oblivious to everything else in the world.
"What's going on?" Babs demanded from the other side of the glass.
"Why, whatever do you mean, my dear Batgirl?" He asked, foot sill bouncing idly.
"I just took out both Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, who were trying to escape from police having stolen something from Gotham mall. Harley said they were working for the Joker, but I don't believe that. Ivy wants Harley rid of that psychopath; she would never have worked for him."
"So why are you here?" The Hatter asked, still not moving from his sleeping position.
"You'll never guess what Harley and Ivy stole from the mall," Babs said, trying to draw the Hatter out.
"You're right, my dear. I'll never guess."
"Hats," Babs said matter-of-factly.
The Hatter, unnerved, chanced a glance up over his pillow at her before turning back and acting as though everything was perfect. "Have I done something wrong? I've been faithfully sitting in my cell here for several months, patiently awaiting my parole. I'm hoping I might get some time off for good behavior." He breathed heavily on his knuckles and used them to polish his chest.
"Then why are you wearing your hat?" Babs asked smugly.
"It's part of the costume, little . Arkham doctors don't care how I look, as long as I bear the appearance of to making progress. Any other bat-brained ideas?"
"Last time I checked," Babs replied. "That was true for parts of your costume that don't have weapons. Your costume, however, puts the power in the hat."
He shrugged as he stood up from his bed. "Then I guess, my dear Alice, you have discovered me, but as you might've noticed, you've no where to take me. I'm already here, and in this place where I can get that… reform that you think I might need."
"That's ok, Hatter. I'll just take your hat and be done with it."
"By all means," he withdrew a small remote control from his coat pocket and pressed a button, turning the red light over his cell from red to green. He strolled over, pushed open the door stepped out, took off his hat, and bowed low. "You have bested me in our battle of wits. How could I compete with such logic?" He held out his hands in surrender. "I yield to you, my worthy opponent."
"How did you do it?" Babs asked, not taking the hat. "And how are Two Face and Psimon involved? I know they are, and you can't deny it."
"Isn't that two questions?" The Hatter teased. "Regardless, I hypnotized Two Face to steal a bag of commemorative coins and had him return them here. When he returned, I made sure to have him go into his cell like nothing happened, remembering nothing."
"Coins? Is that the best you could do?" she scoffed.
He gave her a look. "Lewis Carroll commemorative coins. Very valuable and very pretty. Psimon, I sent after the Titans because I wanted Robin disposed of. I was convinced he was onto me, and I planned to dispose of him through a tragic accident with the Fearsome Five, and because it is well known the group lacked cohesion I took control of Psimon and used him to mentally coerce the team. When you showed up later that week, however, I feared that I was after the wrong person, and proved myself correct in this respect. You however, did manage, somehow to wind up with the Titans on the day they fought the Five."
"But how did you get to Psimon?"
"Quite simple. I offered him hat for his birthday to cover up that ghastly brain of his. When he put it on, I managed to hypnotize him to do one thing: Take down the Titans by any means necessary. Now, I believe I was humming a tune." He took off his hat, twirled it idly right into Babs' hands, smiled nobly and strode back into his cell. "My goodness! I almost forgot!" He hit his head and turned around, tapping a few buttons on his remote control again. How did she not remember to take his remote control?! "We haven't completed our tea party my dear lady Alice! The March Hare hasn't yet arrived!"
Babs spun around, red hair obscuring her view for a second as the red light above the door next to The Hatter's cell turned green, unlocking the cell. The cell's occupant stepped out, clunking large metal feet on Arkham's hard, concrete floor. A shiver went down Babs' spine.
There, in full metal containment suit, glass jarred head, and ray gun in hand stood Mr. Freeze. "You killed Nora?" He demanded, cold blue face fuming.
"Wait," Babs stammered as the Hatter crept up behind her. "I don't know what you're talking about. I never touched your wife."
"Ah, ah, ah" The Mad Hatter tutted, grabbing his precious hat out of Babs's hands and placing it on his head. "Wouldn't want to disturb our dear Mr. Hare, would you? He isn't the warmest of characters," he laughed maniacally. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late. I'm late, for a very important date." He bolted down the corridor and around the corner.
She needed to stop him, but Freeze took priority for the moment. "Freeze! Stop! You don't know what you're doing!"
Freeze pointed the gun at her. "Don't lie to me. I watched her die and you did it. You must pay for her death." He fired the freeze ray at her.
She tucked and rolled to the left, his gun following her trail across the walls as she jumped up from her roll and sprinted down the corridor towards the end. There had to be a way to take him out. How could she do it though? She needed to get the drop on him. A wall of ice shot up at the end of the corridor, closing it off. Babs skidded to a stop, catching herself as she fell from the quick slide and loss of momentum. With nowhere to go, she ran towards him, zigzagging and ducking her way out of the path of his blast, pulling several batarangs from her belt and throwing them at his helmet, attempting to puncture the glass so that she might heat up his body enough to disorient him, long enough for her to push him back into his cell.
To her dismay, the batarangs merely bounced off of his reinforced glass casing. He continued firing at her, more agitated that she would try such an attempt. She sprinted along the nearest wall and threw four more batarangs before cartwheeling off of the wall. The first three knocked off his helmet ineffectually as the other two did. The fourth, however, flew off trajectory and cut the line connecting the freeze gun to the coolant tank on his back, slicing it so that it vented steam and coolant from the tank onto the floor, turning that section of the floor into a thick patch of ice, and stopping the gun functionality. Disgusted, Mr. Freeze threw it aside and charged her fist raised. She ducked, grabbed his arm and flipped him over her, putting all of her weight into the throw, using her feet as leverage as she kicked him in the stomach and rolled backwards, still trying to figure out how to shut him down.
He flipped over, landing partially on his head, cracking his helmet slightly. She smiled, an idea suddenly coming to her. As he stood, she leapt forward and landed on the top of his helmet, pushing off as hard as she could when she had the footing and slamming his helmet into the ground, splintering it and cracking the helmet, spider webbing the glass. Air hissed out of his helmet, creating fog that obscured his vision inside of the helmet.
Freeze stumbled around blindly for several seconds as Babs waited for him to stagger in front of his cell. The second his made a pause in front of his cell, she charged him and pushed him inside, slamming the door and turning the light above it red.
Babs sprinted to the end of the corridor where Freeze ha placed the barrier of ice, pulling a hypersonic ice pick from her belt and ramming it into the ice. She stood back and covered her face from the blast as the pick sent inaudible sound waves through the ice, shattering the ice wall into a million pieces. The hatter had a good forty-five second head start on her, but she sprinted down the corridor as fast as she could run. As she reached the main entrance hall, she stopped watching as the Hatter hopped into one of the Police cars parked in front and peeled out of the driveway, cutting down the long zigzagging path to the main street. She tried to sprint after him, several guards, all under The Hatter's thrall, batons out, stood between the door.
She threw a smoke bomb from her belt, covered her face with her cape, and sped through the guards, their coughing attack dropping them all to the ground, unconscious, down the Asylum's steps, and onto her bike, hopping on and slamming down the ignition, and rocketing out after the Hatter. Following the distant red lights of the Hatter's police cars, she revved the engine harder and began to gain distance on him, speeding after him down the Gotham Bridge, weaving in and out of traffic, not cutting her speed in her mad chase after the Hatter.
As he cut his speed rounding the corner of Cameron, she cut a diagonal towards the end of the bridge and caught up with him just enough to jump off of her bike and onto the back of the Hatter's car, leaving her bike skidding behind the car, shooting sparks as it slid to a stop and down the street in its original direction, stopping as it crashed into the stars of an apartment building. She punched through the driver's window and punched the Hatter as hard as she could in the face. Dazed and confused, his head lolled forward as he slipped into unconsciousness. Steering the car quickly to one side and then the other, she jumped off as the quick turn forced the car to lose control and onto two wheels. She fumbled for her grappling gun, shot it at a lamppost, and jumped as it pulled taut, the car beneath her flipping onto its side and rolling several times landing, totaled, on its hood a hundred feet away.
Jumping off the lamppost, she ran towards the car as The Mad Hatter crawled desperately out of the window, finally looking up at Babs standing over him, a thin line of blood dripping down his face.
He clawed desperately at her feet. "No more! No more! I yield!" He cried.
She pulled the hat off of his thin, straw colored hair and crushed it under her heel. "Didn't you yield to me before?" She asked ly.
"Yes but-"
She kicked him in the face, knocking him unconscious again as the police rounded the corner.
"You did good," Batman said her as he drove her back to the cave. "You discovered it was Jervis Tetch all by yourself and foiled every scheme he attempted. True, you wrecked public property throughout Gotham and at least two of my bikes the bikes in the process, but that comes with the territory."
"Thanks," she said, still smiling from her victory. She tried to think of something else to say, but thought of nothing. His praise helped fuel both her ego and sense of accomplishment. With nothing else to say, she brought up Pixie Boots. "How's Dick?"
"Fine," Batman stated. "The Scarecrow's toxin was similar to one he had used before. I managed to modify one from my stocks and treat him. Alfred has him bedridden at the mansion."
"Can I see him?" she asked as the Batmobile screeched to a halt in the Batcave.
"Of course."
"Thanks, Bruce," she said, calling him by his real name, careful to over enunciate it so that it rang in his ear. Now that she said the name, she found she liked it a little better than Batman. Their latest Batmobile ride had somehow humanized him more. But perhaps it wasn't just that. Maybe she felt like more on his level.
She hopped out of the car and ran up the winding staircase that led into the manor nearly bumping into Alfred in her rush.
"Congratulations, Miss Gordon," he bowed his head slightly. "Master Bruce said that you did some excellent work tonight."
"It was nothing," she blushed slightly. "Where's Dick?"
"Master Grayson is in his room on the second floor. He was resting just a few minutes ago when I went up to check on him."
"Thanks Alfred," she kissed him lightly on the cheek. "You're the best."
"Thank you, Miss Gordon," he replied, bowing.
She ran up the stairs and burst into Dick's room only to see him lying in bed, watching the large TV in his room. He turned it off as she entered.
"Hello, hero," he smiled, impressed as she entered the room and shut the door.
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," she averted her gaze and blushed.
"Not according to Bruce. He said you did really well, and I agree with him."
"Really?" she asked, putting her hands behind her back and stepping flirtatiously to his bed, one large step at a time.
"Would I lie to you?" he asked back, smiling.
"Not unless you count every time you kissed me."
"I never lied about that! I distinctly remember-"
"Shut-up, Dick," she said, crawling onto his bed, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in close, kissing him passionately.
They stayed there for a long time, lips locked in their kiss. Babs smiling as they pulled away, a nice shiver shooting down her spine.
"Wow," Dick whispered, his eyes closed even after their kiss.
"See what can happen when you don't take me completely by surprise?" she asked him, pulling him in for another one, kissing him again.
Dick pulled away from it. "Last time I do that," he said, his lips brushing against hers sensually, pleasurably.
"It's your fault," she smiled as she went in for another kiss, contended for the first time since becoming Batgirl.