"But I love, love, (loathe) the way you'd roll excuses off the tip of your tongue"

((Yuffie))

"First things first, we meet tomorrow at 2.30 outside the café. Kay chuckeroo?" I was intentionally being annoying by the way. No one tries to get rid of The Great Ninja Yuffie and survives. "I'm having lunch with Squallie there, and he takes sooooooo long to finish, so I'll meet you then. Bye Riki-roo!" I waved goodbye and scampered off.

Next day, I waited for a full ten minutes for that stupid prat Riku. I bet he did it just to make me mad, I thought he was going to stand me up. Because I would not let that happen. But he did turn up eventually, linking arms with this bimbo and flirting like mad. I just knew he was trying to tell me something, I just didn't know what at the time. I waved enthusiastically and rushed up to him, giving him a massive hug and earning a major glare from Bimbo. She muttered her goodbyes and I swear as she tottered off, swaying slightly on her ten-inch or so heels, she muttered 'bitch' to herself. Riku was trying his best to make hazy-eyes at her.

I grabbed Riku's hand and led him off; talking ten to the dozen about how much fun it was having lunch with ol' Squall. I just knew how much he was enjoying it… mwahah. As we walked up the street, looking casually for any shop that would sell anything remotely water-fied, I was making sure I was going to put my plan into action. He was going to be so embarrassed, and I wasn't even going to take him swimming today. Another mwahah, which I almost emitted. 'I'm going to have to watch my brain-mouth co-ordination', I could tell. We were about to walk past the shop I wanted to take him in, when I stopped, pretending to have just seen something in the window by coincidence, and yanked him inside. Ooooh the fun I was going to have!

Humming, I looked around and pointed out, very loudly, all the extremely tight Speedos which we could have invested in. I picked up about a million of the lycra garments very hastily, something I had been practising, trying to make it look to all the onlookers like I was the doting girlfriend and he was the ungrateful one. Mwahah. Anyway, I was sizing them all up on him, holding them up to his middle, shaking my head, and sometimes saying 'quietly' things like:

"No, I know you like that one, but it does make your willy look a bit small, doesn't it honey?"

Let's just say he was the most attractive shade of beetroot at that point. He then just grabbed some of the boxer styley ones and rushed off to the changing rooms, leaving me standing in the middle of the shop still holding all the different swimming shorts in my hands. I pretended to look hurt to the onlookers (who seemed to be quite enjoying the show), then shrugged and went to put phase two into action.

I went into the changing room area, glanced around for a second and then dropped to the floor, shimmying along on my tummy, looking underneath all the doors for feet which looked like they belonged to Riku. Eventually, after a couple of stifled giggles and 'sorry's to men who really didn't want teenagers peeking in on them whilst getting their swimming cozzys on, I found my favourite person, trying on some very fetching navy trunks, which were slightly less… restricting. I stood up and knocked on the door, whispering 'Riku, let me in, I want to see which ones you've decided on'.

There was silence, while he churned things over in his head. I seriously could hear the cogs turning. Eventually he decided that I'd probably cause less commotion if he just let me see and murmured 'one second, let me just pull them on'. I was a bit shocked at this point, but left it, thinking if he was going to just take this lying down, and let me win, then I'd have to up the stakes a little. Finally the door swung open and I slipped in, gaining a couple of odd looks from older women who didn't think this behaviour was 'appropriate'. Ah, they were just jealous 'cause I got to see Riku with not only no shirt on, but with practically nothing on. I almost giggled as I thought this, but the sight of him in the swimming shorts was enough to put an end to my amusement and I had to stop myself from drooling. He was stood there with his hands on his hips, looking directly at me, looking at his… well… needless to say I probably commandeered that gorgeous shade of red he'd been sporting earlier and deepened it a tad, because I suddenly felt really light headed, as though every single blood cell in my body had just gone whoosh to my head. He smirked at me, and I damned him for being sexy, nodded my approval and stumbled out of the changing rooms.

But I was yet to get my revenge. As I went out, ready to wait by the cashier's desk for Riku to appear, I spotted, to my rapture, some blow up arm bands (fluorescent pink, naturally), and a rubber ring in the shape of a flower. They were the only ones left, so, what a shame, I couldn't buy him any, more manly, aids for staying afloat. He was just sauntering out of the changing rooms, eyeing up the almost swooning assistant, when I jumped on him, presenting him with the 'gifts' which I was about to make a very public display of buying.

"Since you can't swim, Riku my darling," I crooned, "I thought I'd just get you these, just in case, you know? Wouldn't want to drown you with my rigorous swimming activities darling" Riku seemed at a loss for words, so I said a brief, "Good." As I went to the cashier, looking behind me as I did in an 'I win' kind of manner.

All in all, a very successful day.

Chapter two done and I'm going to bugger off and do my textiles homework before (perhaps) doing chapter 3. I'm not sure if I like this, it's a little… I don't know. How are we liking scheming Yuffie? Tell me if there are any changes you guys would make, because I'm not too sure about her myself.

Thanks for reading; I still don't own anything, since my first disclaimer was only put online about half an hour ago, not much has changed.

Bracken xx