"I'm miserable, and you're just getting started"

((Riku))

She is going to kill me. KILL ME.

You know what she had me doing today?

Confidence building.

Why? I am Riku! Since when do I need confidence?

But what was weirder, was her tactics. She managed to repay me for making her wait to meet me the other day, with the most embarrassing shopping excursion EVER. I'm not exaggerating. Although it was fun to see that look on her face when she joined me in the changing rooms.

Almost too funny…

Anyway. So the midget mite had me walking up to people around town, random ones I've never met before, and starting a conversation with them. She gave me these conversation starters and made me wear her origami around my waist.

1. The weather. Or the stars. There's not really much weather so it'll have to be the stars.

Example: "Wow, would you look at those stars? They're almost as twinkly as that coke can over there. You didn't drop that did you? Because I'm a firm believer in non-littering. We need to keep this beautiful town beautiful…" etc etc.

2. Sexuality/relationships.

Example: "Hello, how are you? That's good. No, actually, I'm not okay. My girlfriend dumped me for another man because she said I was too 'effeminate' and now I think I'm gay and attracted to that fat guy who always talks about munny. Yeah, about how it talks. Yeah."

3. The origami.

Example: "Yes it is nice isn't it? My good friend Yuffie over there made it, she's very good and is a brilliant ninja. Yes, very stealthy. This one time, she sneaked up behind me and jumped on me screaming 'MAD NINJA SKILLZ ATTACK!' and I jumped so high and almost wet myself. Yeah, she is very pretty, isn't she?"

Needless to say, I didn't like the list. However, Yuffie would hit me if I didn't appear to be reading off it. She would also stand close to me and keep waggling her arms to indicate that I should look up at the person's face because it makes you appear more confident. She'd hit me if I didn't do what she said.

I think she enjoys hitting me. They always say that people who have a crush on you are mean to you.

After a few hours of chasing and scaring random citizens of Traverse Town, Yuffie decided that we needed to stop for a coffee break.

"You can order, and pay too. That'll give you some experience with dealing with places where there's large crowds, and hot waitresses. We all know how stuttery you get, Riki-roo."

Well I'm finished for tonight, thankyou to Laurie my Mercutio and Scarecrow for proofreading this, I dedicate this chapter to you!

Anyway, I might add some more to this chap, or make a new chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own any settings or characters you recognise, Coca Cola, or 'MAD NINJA SKILLZ ATTACK!' which originates in Sonora Faye's story 'When Ninja's Attack!' (thankyou Sonora, told you it'd be my new attack phrase)

Thanks for reading, Bracken xxx