Rated: K+
Summary: How to make Tezuka give you laps, some things should never enter Fuji's head.
Pairings: implied Imperial, Dream or FujiTezuka
Category: humour
Characters: Seigaku
Disclaimer: If I owned PoT… I would… oh whatever … I just don't.
Day 1
Some things should NEVER enter Fuji's head, nope, because if they did, Fuji would surely wreak havoc upon us all but people usually can't help what goes through Fuji's head. Therefore, Fuji stood in front Tezuka brazenly, the same smile as always on his face facing the cold frown of Tezuka. Anyone who wasn't a sadistic tensai wouldn't have been caught dead within a 10 metre radius of Tezuka at his moment however Fuji was a sadistic tensai, arguably the most sadistic of them all and therefore, he was standing right in front of the stoic captain.
Tezuka's eyebrow twitched.
Fuji's eyebrow twitched.
Tezuka's eyebrow twitched some more.
Fuji's eyebrow did the same.
"Fuji… why did you decorate the court with pink, red and purple hearts and streamers?" Tezuka finally demanded.
"It's Valentine's Day!" Fuji declared.
"It's May." Tezuka's eyebrow twitched yet again.
Fuji didn't answer but just twitched his eyebrow.
"…"
"…"
"30 laps."
Fuji still smiling freakishly started running his assigned laps while the rest of the regulars stared on in horror.
"Have a chocolate, Tezuka!"
"50"
Day 2
Fuji and Kikumaru were late for practise the next day and they were NEVER tardy, unless they had cleanup duty. It didn't help that the courts were decorated with green and cold with scattered clovers all around.
"What is going on?" Oishi asked.
"Beats us," Kawamura looked around nervously.
"Fshuuu…"
"Where's Eiji-senpai and Fuji-senpai?" Momoshirou asked.
As if on cue, Fuji and Kikumaru came in, Kikumaru was wearing a green leprechaun suit and a fake beard while Fuji was carrying a pot of (chocolate) gold coins.
"Fuji, Kikumaru…" Tezuka twitched, "Care to explain why you're late?"
"Hoi, a big fat green kangaroo was chasing after us!" Kikumaru's eyes opened wide to exaggerate his point.
"Saa Eiji, it's called a leprechaun…" (Deep apologies to those Irish readers out there) Fuji corrected.
"Oh, yeah, that too."
"So you're dressed like one?" Echizen asked.
"Ii data…"
"Well it IS Saint Patrick's day, nya!"
"It's still May," Tezuka's expression changed not a whit.
"HAVE SOME GOLD!" Fuji smiled, throwing the (chocolate) gold coins into the air.
"Chocolate!"' Momoshirou took one and unwrapped it.
"100 laps to Fuji and Kikumaru, 20 to anyone who further disrupts practise by eating the chocolate."
"I don't think that's necessary, Tezuka." Inui pointed out.
Tezuka merely glanced at Inui questioningly.
"They spiced up the chocolate with AOZU." Inui said, gesturing at the half-dead people sprawled across the courts.
"Hn…"
Day 3
The regulars, except for Fuji and mysteriously Inui, and Tezuka faced a black and orange court with a feeling of dreaded apprehension and extreme déjà vu. After about five minutes, another Tezuka entered the court, except this one, while wearing the same type of glasses as Tezuka, his glasses gleamed quite strangely and his hair didn't flip up the same way.
"What are you doing, Inui?" Tezuka asked, easily penetrating the disguise.
"It's Halloween, Tezuka, I'm dressed up as you." Inui replied and scowled, "The frown is, however, 0.6 percent less stoic."
"…"
"I mean, do not be careless…" Inui said in a perfectly imitated Tezuka voice while the scowl was etched on his face.
"Wow, Inui, you're good!" Momoshirou commented.
"Where's Fuji??" Kikumaru looked around.
At that moment, Atobe walked into the court with his all knowing smirk.
"Atobe-san?"
"Yes, it is ore-sama, be awed."
"…"
"Nice decorations, is it Halloween already? Aa-an?" Atobe asked insolently.
"…Atobe, why are you at Seigaku?" Oishi asked.
"Ore-sama has something to say to Tezuka." Atobe actually turned to the real Tezuka.
"Hn?"
"Ore-sama is in love with you… for a long time now…"
"……………………………"
"WHAT THE HELL?" Everyone thought it was a good chance to take a few steps away from Atobe and Tezuka.
Tezuka's expression didn't change except for a twitch of his eyebrows.
"Well? Ore-sama is waiting." Atobe raised an eyebrow.
"Fuji…"
Suddenly, a flutter of wigs and clothes flew into the air and Fuji was standing in front of Tezuka in his regulars jersey smiling as always. "Boo."
The rest of the regulars fell flat on their face while Tezuka stood there stoic as ever.
"Saa Tezuka, what did you think of my acting?"
"150 laps…Fuji, and Inui, 100."
"Hn." Inui starting running while keeping the same scowl on his face.
"I think I achieved a new record…" Fuji smiled sadistically and took off running after Inui, leaving the others to wonder how Fuji pulled Atobe off.
Day 4
The next day, the orange and black decorations were replaced with red and green ones, there was also a huge tree decorating a corner of the tennis courts and fake snow fluttering around, covering the grounds. Fuji was standing in the middle of the scene, wearing a Santa hat and lip-synching an off tune version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer which was playing at full blast over and over again.
"Fuji…" Tezuka twitched a little.
"Yes Tezuka?" Fuji smiled while the song was still playing.
"What are you doing?"
"Celebrating Christmas!"
"It's May…" Tezuka pointed out yet again.
Fuji smiled his oh-so-innocent smile once more and cocked his head to one side, "But you asked me decorate the court for the festive season."
"I did not."
"But I have it recorded!" Fuji smiled and played a tape.
The tape was obviously Kikumaru imitating Tezuka and doing a bad job at it too. It didn't help that Kikumaru burst out laughing right in the middle.
"Mada mada dane, Kikumaru-senpai." Echizen said.
"Eiji…" Oishi sweatdropped.
"Fujiko…" Kawamura looked at Fuji nervously.
Tezuka started twitching… no more like convulsing…
"Saa Tezuka, do you want a present?"
"1000 laps Fuji and Kikumaru."
"Ouch," Momoshirou winced.
"That's so mean Tezuka, nya!" Kikumaru complained and took off running with Fuji.
"Very entertaining, ne?" Fuji still retained that same smile that told everyone who wasn't a stoic captain to stay as far away from Fuji as possible, preferably a 100 metre radius or more…
Yep, some things should never enter Fuji's head…
A/N: I wrote this at 12 and I'm supposed to move the next day so yeah, don't mind, and my internet isn't working so I'm here like –slit- meh, this is posted at a later date… just didn't bother to edit. -yawn- I think hafta go to bed now…
I'm stealing my neighbor's internet to post this... i love wireless!!! But the signals really weak and its almost as slow as dialup ewwww...
I might write a How To Make Sanada Slap You one… sooner or later…