Alice needs help!

(((I don't want to get sued! So I guess I have to say it I-I-I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT there I said it and I am not ashamed!!!)))(((I just noticed that in New Moon, in Volterra, Edward is not wearing a shirt the whole time.)))

Okay, can't think about E-Bay, or shopping, or anything else that is not Jasper! I have to think about Jasper, and only Jasper!!

I can do this. I can do this. Oh, who am I kidding I can't do this! I really need to get some help!

"Jazzy-Bazzy?" Did he just wince? No, he couldn't have. I must be seeing things. Why would he wince? I mean it's not like I said something, did I?

"Yes, Alice-Walice?" okay I think I winced… walice… shudder. I think I should left out the 'Bazzy' part. Then maybe he wouldn't have said… what he said.

"I think I am addicted to E-Bay. Do you think I need help for that?" surly I am the only one who thinks that. No one else has notice yet, Right? Surely they would have said something to me… maybe they did and I just didn't listen to them because I was one E-Bay.

"The truth?"

"No, I want you to lie to me. Of course the truth Jazzy, I wouldn't have asked if I wanted something else!"

"Okay, sorry Ally, if you want the truth then… yes. We never have anytime together anymore. You are always on the computer, and telling me to go see if something has arrived yet. Didn't you notice the maze we had to go through to get out the door? Or the loud cheer for our family at you being of the computer? Alice, you and I are not the only ones who think that you need help."

"Jazz, what are we going to do? There is no E-bayist Anonymous!" What will I do!!! I can't go to any special class for this!

"What do you mean 'we' it is your problem not ours," I just gawk at him disbelievingly; I mean really, did he just actually say that? He is supposed to support me no matter what! Does this mean he-he-he wants a-a-a DIVORSE! "Alice what I mean is that this is something that only you can fix, I can give you support and that's it, well maybe make up about five-or-so steps to help you get over you addition," oh, so that's what he meant, I get it now! I can just forget the whole thinking-he-wants-a-divorce thing then!

"Oh, okay. So what do I do, then? I need to get better before I shred our family into little families!!!" Okay so maybe I am a bit of an over-dramatic, but still!!! It could happen, and I would be the cause! I could never forgive myself if that happened!

"Calm down, Alice. You might annoy them but I don't think that you are going to rip this family apart; we are too strong for that. But, to answer your question, I think we should get you a little audience with the whole family, including Bella, so you can admit that you have a problem. And so you can apologies to Edward and Bella for trying to send Bella out into the forest just because you wanted her to leave so you could get back to E-Bay," I did what? How could I forget I did something so stupid and dangerous! I hate myself right now, "Alice, hating yourself is not going to help you solve anything, it is not like Bella would ever go into the woods by herself, give the girl some credit," true, very true. She is an extraordinarily smart girl, for a human girl that is.

"But I still told her to go into the woods, by herself, all because I wanted to buy crap that you do not need! I am so stupid!"

"Calm Down, Alice. Bella is safe, you are safe, and everyone else is safe. And Emmett enjoyed a nice llama the other day. You are not stupid," maybe he is right. Wow, how did we get home? I didn't even realize that we were moving! Well I guess there is no time like the present to do… things. Oh my pickle juice… did I really order this much stuff? I CAN'T SEE THE FLOOR!!! How did I not notice that I had to climb over stuff to get out of the house!!!!

"Jasper, could you call a family meeting outside? I don't think we have room in here, thanks to me," he frowned when I blamed myself, but said nothing in reply. He just went around the house, gathering all the family. It kind of looked funny, like Jasper was the mother duck, and the rest of them where the baby ducks. Emmett would make one funny baby duck! Jasper smile when he senses that I am not all depressed and stuff anymore.

"Okay, everyone, Alice has an announcement to make!"

"Uh, I just wanted to say that I am sorry that I got all psycho-E-Bay-maniac on ya'll and filled the living room with useless junk. Edward and Bella I just wanted to say sorry for telling Bella to go into the woods just so I could get back to buying more stuff that we don't need, as vampires. And also I am working to fix this little problem of mine, and I would thank you numerous times if you could help and support me," after that little speech I was attacked… with hugs and many 'of course we will's. Then everyone except Jasper, Bella, Edward, and me left.

"Alice, you know I would never take that as a serious request when you where acting like that right?"

"Yeah, Bella I do. But I can still feel guilty about it."

"And believe you me, she does."

"Alice, it's in the past. No bodily harm was done to anyone. You can let it go now."

"Thanks, Edward. That means a lot to me, especially seeing and your and overprotective boyfriend when it comes to Bella," he really needs to lighten up a bit, she can't hardly go to the bathroom by herself.

"First of all, I am not THAT bad. And secondly, I am over protective of you and Esme, too."

"What about Rose?"

"Her and I cannot get along long enough for me to be over protective over her."

"Ah," that sounds reasonable. I go up to Edward with my arms spread wide. What I want a hug? Can't a girl get a hug from her brother any more?

Before we un-embrace a whisper in his ear, "I love you, Edward," Everyone knows that it is sibling love so yeah, no need to clarify!

"I love you, too, Alice," and he kisses my forehead in a brotherly-love kind of way. Then takes Bella away after her and I hug, which consisted of us embracing in a hug then me picking her up and spinning her around while she laughs.

"So Jasper, is step one complete in our EA class? Or do I need to do something else?"

"Nope, step one is complete."

"So step one was Admittance, wasn't it?"

"You hit the nail on the head with that answer. Now all you have to do is face what havoc it has reeked, and use less and less of E-Bay."

(((So… what are the real steps? Unless you only want like two more chapters you will tell me!!!)))