Just read the story. Oh, by the way, DxS Phreak if you're reading this, I couldn't put in your dreadlock request. As much as I love his dreads and want them too, we can't make Jack bald. He wouldn't be as hott. Or the love request either, read the episode and you'll see why.
Captain Chartman: Hi! In this episode I decided to bring in a special guest – Beckett! Beckett say hi.
Beckett: Hi.
Jack, Will, and Liz: (glares at Beckett)
Beckett: (backs away)
Captain Chartman: Anyway, here is the first request of the day by XxXPanicAtTheDiscoXxX and she says: LMAO! This is HILARIOUS!
I dare Will to buy Jack a 1 year supply of rum once Jack's time without rum is up.
Will: What?! Well, I guess it could be worse…
Jack: Did somebody say the word rum?! RUM!! WHERE ARE YOU RUM!!!???
Will: There's no rum here!
Jack: I heard the word again! There must be a lot of rum here… But where…WHERE!?
Liz: Jack, there is no sign of alcohol here!
Jack: Why do you have to ruin it for me? Honestly…
Liz: (sarcasm) Sorry…
Captain Chartman: More of the request: I dare Beckett to sing "I'm to sexy for my shirt", while doing the macarena dance. LOL!
Ok, that's it for now!
Beckett: eh heh…
Jack: have fun.
Beckett: shut up, pirate.
Jack: (glare)
Captain Chartman: Beckett, we're waiting.
Beckett: (starts singing and dancing)
Captain Chartman: Yay! You're not as stubborn as Jack and Will!! That's good for this show.
Jack and Will: HEY!
Captain Chartman: Don't deny it, you two refuse to do everything I say.
Will: Refusing to wear a dress is really so bad?
Jack: And refusing to come out in public wearing a speedo is a sin?
Captain Chartman: On this show it is.
Jack and Will: (glare)
Captain Chartman: Next request: LostWitch5 typed for Emma and Tresier (pronounced Treasure) says: Will: truth! When you and Jack kissed in the second episode, did you REALLY feel that it was completely gross? Or was there some feeling? (put on the lie detector!)
Will: …huh…?
Captain Chartman: (puts lie detector on Will)
Will: oh crap.
Jack: Why are you mad that she put on the lie detector? (mocks) Is it because oh, say, You enjoyed kissing Jack? Hmm?
Will: shut. Up. Jack.
Jack: just sayin'
Captain Chartman: Come on Will.
Will: …
Captain Chartman: Jack can go in a different room if you want.
Jack: What?! No way! I refuse!!
Captain Chartman: I told you you refuse everything I tell you to do. You're just too stubborn.
Jack: Well…well…I still refuse!
Captain Chartman: You know, I wasn't actually going to put you in a different room. That was just a test to show you that you are stubborn.
Jack: (folds his arms across his chest)
Captain Chartman: Now, then…Will?
Will: uh, yes it was disgusting. (lie detector flashes yellow.)
Jack: and what else…?
Will: (doesn't notice that it was Jack who just said that) But I couldn't help but feel some sort of…passion…(lie detector flashes green)
Jack: I knew it! HA! You're gay and you love me!!
Will: Don't be so conceited Jack. I'm not gay.
Jack: Well, you felt "passion" during that horrible kiss we unfortunately had to do.
Will: So what did you feel?
Jack: (gulp) what?
Will: If I felt passion, did you feel it to?
Jack: uh…no…
Will: (puts lie detector on Jack) what was that, I didn't hear you?
Jack: No I didn't feel passion in that disgusting kiss. (lie detector flashes red.)
Will: (smile) I think you're lying.
Jack: (notices he's wearing a lie detector.) That's not fair! This was a request for you!!
Will: well, we could change that. I could do what I did in the last episode about your lovers…
Jack: Don't. You. Dare.
Will: Someone request for Jack to tell if he had passion or not during our kiss!!
Jack: I hate you!! (lie detector flashes red)
Will: HA!! NO YOU DON'T!!
Jack: AT THE MOMENT I DO!!! (lie detector flashes green)
Captain Chartman: Part 2 of the request: Lizzie: Give Beckett a lap dance for 10 minutes. Make Will AND Jack watch!She has to wear a bikini!!
Jack: I don't mind watching that.
Will: Why is it everyone but me!? I'm her fricken husband!
Liz: (sigh)(goes into the backroom to change into bikini)
Captain Chartman: While she's getting ready, here is the final part of the request: Jack and Lizzie: Make him act like Elizabeth for a whole show, and make she act like Jack for a whole show, which includes clothing and personality
Jack: (cough) Did you just say I have to act like a woman?
Will: Elizabeth to be specific.
Jack: (glare)
Captain Chartman: Yep. Speak like her, have her reactions, walk like her, have the same hand motions, etc. And she has to do the same, only she's acting like you. After the lap dance, of course.
Will: Really? Lap dancing is very sparrow like.
Jack: No, having a lap dance done on me is very sparrow like.
Will: (shudder) That was very disturbing to listen to, just so you know.
Jack: Doesn't bother me.
(Elizabeth comes out in a bikini and starts lap dancing on Beckett)
…
…
(Elizabeth gets off Beckett and goes into the backroom to change back into her regular clothing. She comes out and sit down.)
Liz: I swear if I have to do another lap dance…
Jack: Why did I have to get three seconds while Beckett got to have 10 minutes!!??
Liz and Will: JACK!
Jack: uh…loss of rum…?
Captain Chartman: I don't think that excuse works anymore, Jack. Liz, you were dared to act like Jack for the rest of the show.
Elizabeth: I was what?
Captain Chartman: You have to speak like him, have the reactions he would, walk like him, have the same hand motions the whole shebang. He has to do the same acting like you.
Liz: I have to act like Jack? Oh, great, I have to stare at my own breasts all the time.
Jack: That's not all I think about you know.
Captain Chartman: This should be interesting. Our next request is by blackrose305 and she says: awesome story.
jack:what mark did you really leave on beckett.
Beckett: (lifts his arm to show a "J" carved into his arm) predictable isn't it?
Jack: I don't think so.
Captain Chartman: It's very predictable. Part 2 of the request: will;I dare you to sing behind these hazel eyes by kelly clarkson.
Will: (sigh)
Jack: (says in a british accent and a high-pitched voice to try to sound like Elizabeth) You can do it Will!
Will: Gee, you're encouraging.
Elizabeth: (says in a very low tone and waves her hands around exaggeratingly) Will, you're a eunuch.
Beckett: (bursts out laughing)
Jack: I don't talk like that.
Elizabeth: You demonstrated me horribly too.
Jack: (says in Liz voice) No, I did not.
Elizabeth: (says in Jack voice) Yes, ye did so.
Jack: (glare)
Elizabeth: (glares back)
Jack: Don't wave your hands around too much.
Elizabeth: Don't talk in such a high-pitched voice.
Jack: But you talk really high pitched like a little girl.
Elizabeth: And you wave your hands around like a complete spaz.
Jack: (glare)
Elizabeth: (glare)
Jack: I'll still make a better imitation.
Elizabeth: We'll see about that.
Will: (glances back and forth at Liz and Jack) uh, guys?
Liz: Shut up, eunuch.
Will: Elizabeth!!
Jack: Yes, dear?
Will: Okay, that's just creepy…
Captain Chartman: Will still has a dare waiting for him.
Jack: Oh, right, that's correct.
Elizabeth: Aye.
Will: (starts randomly singing)
Jack: What are you doing boy-I mean…dear? (shudder)
Elizabeth: (smirk) What are you doing, boy?
Will: That was my dare.
Elizabeth: I knew that! The amazing Jack knows everything!!
Jack: I don't brag like that!
Elizabeth: What are you talking about?! You're obsessed with yourself! You say your name all the time!
Jack: Yes, but I say my full name. You only said Jack. (glare) I am not obsessed with myself.
Elizabeth: (smirk) Nice hand motions.
Jack: (puts his hands behind his back) shut up. It won't happen again, luv.
Elizabeth: I don't say luv.
Jack: But I do.
Elizabeth: But you're me.
Jack: And you're me.
Elizabeth: Unfortunately.
Jack: And what's that supposed to mean, exactly?
Elizabeth: Well, who wants to be a smelly pirate that only cares about rum, sex, and his ship?
Jack: Well, who wants to be an annoying two-timing rich lady that only cares about a eunuch?
Elizabeth: I am not annoying!
Jack: I am not smelly!
Elizabeth: Yes you are! When was the last time you took a shower?
Jack: Last time I swam in the ocean.
Elizabeth: Well, I am not a two-timer!
Jack: Then why did you kiss me when you were engaged to Will?
Elizabeth: So I could chain you to the mast and leave you there to die! (thinks for a minute then smirks) Why did you kiss me back?
Jack: (blush) uh, well, I…
Captain Chartman: As much as Will and I would love to see you two argue, we have a show going on here. Part 3 of the request: elizabeth:i dare you to spend the remainder of the show in a mini skirt,a corset, and stilettos.
Liz: You heard her, Jack.
Jack: What? NO! No, no, no, no, no. I am not doing that.
Liz: You have to, your me remember?
Jack: Yeah, but…
Captain Chartman: It's okay Jack, I decided to take that out of the dare for the sake of you guys.
Jack: (clasps his hands together as a thank you.)
Liz: Okay, that's my cue then. (goes in the back room to change.)
Captain Chartman: While she is getting ready, here is part 4 of the request: beckett:I dare you to french kiss Elizabeth.
Beckett: No problem.
(Elizabeth comes out and Beckett plants a French kiss on Elizabeth.)
Elizabeth: (after Beckett finishes and lets her go) You're a terrible kisser. What was that all about?
Captain Chartman: A dare for Beckett.
Jack: (mutter) Why couldn't I have that dare…
Elizabeth: I heard that!
Jack: (gulp)
Elizabeth: I know you want me, but keep your hands to yourself if possible.
Jack: (rolls his eyes) I don't want you.
Elizabeth: Yes you do. Admit it.
Jack: I do not. It's you that wants me.
Elizabeth: No I don't.
Jack: You kissed me!
Elizabeth: You kissed me back!
Jack: (folds his arms across his chest)
Elizabeth: (glares then sits down. Turns to Captain Chartman) I'm extremely sorry for that (points to Jack) childish behavior. Do continue.
Captain Chartman: This is good for the show. Anyway-
Jack: Good for the show?
Captain Chartman: Well, yeah, this is a parody and what you are doing is funny.
Elizabeth: What? Trying to make Jack admit that he loves me and I don't love him.
Jack: Or the other way around.
Elizabeth: You're the one that proposed!
Jack: You're the one that started kissing me!
Will: Wait a second, Jack…PROPOSED?! Why wasn't I informed of this?
Jack: You're not informed on anything.
Elizabeth: You see, what happened was, I-
Jack: DON'T TELL HIM!!
Elizabeth: Will, I'll tell you after the show.
Jack: Not if I can help it.
Captain Chartman: Liz and Jack, you do realize that you're not fulfilling the dare of acting like each other.
Elizabeth: I know. Jack keeps starting a bunch of childish arguments that get in the way.
Jack: I start the arguments?!
Captain Chartman: Okay!! Next request is by Compleatly Random Dissorder and she says: Jack...your my second favorite character...but your an IDIOT! You need to take a course in marine biology! OCTOPIE HAVE TENTICALS TOO! Oh by the way Will is my fav, YOU ROX!
Anyway. I dare Jack to say more disturbing things about his imaginary sex life
Jack: (crosses arms) My sex life is not imaginary, thank you. And squids are cooler.
Elizabeth: Oh, come on!! I don't want to listen about Jack's sex experiences!
Will: Neither do I!
Jack: Nope. It'll take all day anyway.
Liz: Oh, that's right, I remember a certain truth last episode where you said you slept with 30 women.
Jack: …heh…
Captain Chartman: As much as Will and Liz hate it, you have to do the dare.
Jack: But I don't want to!
Captain Chartman: Just do it!
Jack: uh, uh, gosh where do I begin…
Liz, Will, Beckett, and Captain Chartman: JACK YOU PERVERT!!!!!!!
Jack: Can I resign myself from this dare?
Captain Chartman: No.
Jack: (starts talking about completely gross and too-graphic-for-TV sex sequences)
Elizabeth: JACK I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!!!
(slap)
Jack: OW!
Will: (glare) you so deserved that.
Jack: Okay, maybe I did deserve to get slapped…BUT NOT THAT HARD!
Elizabeth: You deserved it hard!
Jack: But now you broke my record!
Liz: Record?
Jack: Yeah, I've pissed you off so many times and never got slapped and now you broke it!
Liz: You set a record on me?
Jack: Yeah…why?
(slap)
Jack: STOP DOING THAT!! ONCE IS ENOUGH!!!!
Liz: Apparently it's not!
Captain Chartman: Okay, before Jack gets murdered let's go on to part 2 of the request: I dare Will to taunt Beckett about his shortness by saying "Your a vertically challenged It" In a sing song voice
And I dare Beckett to CRY like a little kid when Will taunts him.
Will: HA! You're a vertically challenged IT!!
Beckett: (cries)
Captain Chartman: Part 3 of the request: I dare Lizzie(I'm only calling you this cuz i'm to lazy to type Elizabeth)Run around screaming I'M A PRETTY PONY
Lizzie: (runs around screaming I'M A PRETTY PONY) Well, now I fulfilled two dares.
Captain Chartman: What?
Liz: The pretty pony one and acting like Jack.
Jack: HEY!
Liz: (shrug)
Captain Chartman: Next request is by Vicster's Jar of Dirt who says: Beckett - Dare: To french kiss Jack for two minutes.
Beckett: …I refuse…
Jack: What's with all the gay requests?! Why can't it be "Liz go make out with Jack?!"
Liz: I knew you loved me!
Jack: (blush) I do not.
Captain Chartman: (talks to Beckett while Jack and Liz are fighting and can't hear) Beckett you have to do the dare. It's only two minutes of your life and Will did it to Jack so it's nothing really.
Beckett: (Liz and Jack are still fighting and can't hear) Oh, alright, fine. But I won't like it.
Captain Chartman: (Liz and Jack still out of it.) You don't have to.
Beckett: (Liz and Jack still in their own little world)(takes a deep breath) Here goes…(plants a kiss on an unsuspecting Jack who was once still fighting with Liz)
Liz: (giggle)
Jack: 0.0
(2 minutes goes by and Beckett lets Jack free)
Jack: uh…what did you just do to me…?
Beckett: It was a dare, remember?
Jack: right. Don't ever do that again.
Beckett: Trust me, I won't want to.
Jack: good.
Captain Chartman: good. Part 2 of the request: Elizabeth - Dare: Wear a corset, extra tight, for the next three shows and inbetween too. No taking it off.
Liz: Well, I'm already wearing a corset, so I vow not to take it off.
Captain Chartman: Okay, next request is by a muggle named Caity and she says: Darn. I should've put a time limit on that lapdance... Oh well. I think Will suffered enough with three seconds anyway.
Jack: You should have made it an hour! Will didn't suffer enough in just 3 seconds!!!
Liz: Calm down, Jacky.
Jack: Don't call me that.
Captain Chartman: She also says: Uhm, more requests? Let's see...
Elizabeth: (Dare) Give WILL a lapdance. For...5:37 minutes? And Jack has to watch, tied to a chair, with his eyelids taped up so he can't close his eyes. I think that's fair game...
Jack: THAT'S NOT FAIR GAME!!!!!
Will: Yes it is.
Jack: of course you're going to say it is…
Liz: Don't be jealous Jack.
Jack: I am not jealous! And this has nothing to do with any suspicion that I may love you because I don't.
Liz: Sure…that's why your mad because I only gave you a 3 second lap dance and everyone else gets 5 minutes.
Jack: (glare)
Liz: (gives Will a lap dance while Jack is tied to a chair watching)
(5 minutes and 37 seconds go by…)
Liz: (gets off of Will and goes back to her seat) I really hate doing lap dances…now that I'm doing so many…
Jack: But you are getting quite good at it…
Liz and will: JACK!
Jack: Why do you guys always yell at me?!
Captain Chartman: Because of your perverted mind. The next request is by DxS Phreak and she says: Liz - Truth: You love corsets, and I know it! They make your non-existant bozom look curvy and huge! D: ARE YOU DOING FOR JACK? WELL, ARE YOU?!
Jack: From what I can tell, Elizabeth's chest is not non-existent.
Liz: FROM WHAT YOU CAN TELL?!?!
Jack: Er, I mean, um…uh…
(slap)
Jack: (in pain)
Liz: Anyways, I do not wear corsets for Jack. I wouldn't do that, he probably doesn't even care what I wear anyway. DON'T COMMENT ON THAT, JACK!
Jack: Aye, Lizzy.
Captain Chartman: …okay, now we know not to get on Elizabeth's bad side. She also says: Beckett - I love you, too. -giggles fangirlishly- What're you doing after the show? ;)
Beckett: (sweatdrop)
Captain Chartman: Scary, I know. Our next request is by mrspatrickdempsey and she says: Will: Roll across the floor singing " Im so pretty, Oh so pretty, Oh so pretty and witty and GAY" (come on please put this one in! you didn't let will make out with Davy)
Will: You didn't let me make out with Davy Jones?!?!
Captain Chartman: Yeah, she requested that you make out with Davy Jones in the last episode, but I decided against it.
Will: You're my new best friend.
Captain Chartman: Thank you, but you have to do her current dare.
Will: Well, after all the experience I've been through on this show, this dare isn't so bad in comparison to wearing a dress and kissing Jack.
Jack: What? Too much passion for you?
Will: You're never going to let me live that down are you?
Jack: no. Just like you never let go of that speedo thing for a while.
Will: Yeah, but THAT was hilarious. I quote DxS Phreak said something like: (is one of those fangirls) OMG! JACK! TAKE IT OFF!! (bursts out laughing)
Jack: SHUT UP! THAT WASN'T FUNNY!!
Captain Chartman: Will, try to calm yourself and do the dare.
Will: (wipes away a tear from laughing) Okay, okay. (starts rolling across the floor and singing) I'm so pretty! Oh, so pretty and witty and GAY! (gets up) Okay, I'm glad I got that over with.
Captain Chartman: Part 2 of the request: Lizzie: your not aloud to eat anything but Junk food untill next episode and come up with pet names for Jack,Will and Beckett and they have to be nice.
Lizzie: The junk food thing is okay I'll just throw it up afterward.
Jack: (cough) anorexic (cough)
Lizzie: What was that?
Jack: Oh, nothing.
Lizzie: I'll get you for that later.
Jack: (sweatdrop)
Lizzie: Now for the pet names, Will, I will call you sweetheart because you are my husband.
Jack: ha ha.
Will: I don't mind as long as she's the only one that calls me that.
Lizzie: Beckett I will call you shorty.
Beckett: (glare)
Lizzie: And Jack I will call you…um…
Jack: Yes? Is it really that hard?
Lizzie: um…Rummy!
Jack: Rummy?
Lizzie: Yes, Rummy.
Jack: Honestly, love, have a bit of imagination next time.
Liz: If there is a next time.
Captain Chartman: Okay, let's not start any more arguing. That's your specialty today for some reason. Anyway, final part of the request: Beckett:Go be locked up in a room with Jack and Lizzie, oh and you're tied to a chair.
laughs evily
Beckett: I have to listen to their disagreements?! For how long?
Captain Chartman: 10 minutes I guess since there's only one request left and it's for Jack.
Beckett: Oh no. (goes in a room with Jack and Liz. Captain Chartman locks it.)
Jack: Oh, I seem to be trapped in a room with Elizabeth. Whatever shall I do?
Elizabeth: Don't get any ideas in your perverted mind, rummy.
Jack: Don't call me that.
Elizabeth: Fine, Jacky.
Jack: Don't call me that either.
Elizabeth: So many preferences on nicknames.
Jack: Why do I need a nickname? Can you just call me Jack, my real name? It's four letters after all, not that hard to pronounce either.
Elizabeth: What if I said I didn't like your real name?
Jack: Then I'd have to say you're crazy.
Liz: Why's that?
Jack: Everyone loves my name.
Liz: not everyone.
Jack: Yes, everyone.
Liz: No.
Jack: Yes.
Liz: No.
Jack: Yes.
(10 minutes go by and Captain Chartman unlocks the door to see Beckett run out and Jack and Liz argue as they come out and make their way back to their seats.)
Captain Chartman: ENOUGH!
(Liz and Jack stop arguing)
Captain Chartman: I have one last request of the day and it's for Jack.
Jack: (sarcastic) Wonderful!
Captain Chartman: It's from Vicster's Jar of Dirt, a muggle named Caity, mrspatrickdempsey, and LostWitch5 typed out for Emma and Tresier (pronounced treasure).
Jack: Okay, a bit worried right now…
Liz: 4 people had the same request?
Will: (smirk) is it a dare?
Captain Chartman: No it's a truth.
Jack: (gulp)
Liz: Well, it must be as good as a dare if four people requested it.
Captain Chartman: Okay, here is the truth/question: Jack, who were your two lovers mentioned in the last episode?
Jack: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY LISTENED TO THAT EUNUCH!!!
Will: I KNEW IT!! THANK YOU REVIEWERS!!!
Captain Chartman: Okay, Jack tell us who are your two lovers? The only two people that you've actually loved for purposes other than sex?
Find out in the next episode! Yay! My very first cliffhanger in this story! Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, and please review. If I get enough reviews, then there will be another episode and you'll find out who Jack truly loves. Next episode there will also be Barbossa, please review and bye!