Defense Against the Dark Arts
If you're looking for a job
There are quite a few you could choose
Check today's Daily Prophet
It is certain that you can't lose
There are openings at the Ministry
Try Gringotts or the Three Broomsticks
Or perhaps you would prefer
A job manufacturing wizard tricks
But there is on e job to stay clear of
A position that can't be filled
Those who have tried to take it
Have either left quickly or been killed
Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher
Is not something you should rush to try
There's a good chance you won't last long
Or your normal life will go awry
One teacher of the Dark Arts
Knew too much about what he said
He had something that was quite dark
Residing on the back of his head
All year no one suspected him
As he worked just for the Dark Lord
And although he did deserve it
The fact that he died cannot be ignored
The next teacher to grace Hogwarts
Had loads of fame and lots of wealth
And he seemed to like his subject
Almost as much as he liked himself
But he didn't turn out to be
The man many thought they adored
And at the end of that school year
He was impaled upon his own sword
Finally there came a man
Who was quite fit for his position
His teaching style was effective
And he had a kind disposition
The best teacher so far he was
But he had secrets too
When Snape revealed him to the school
His teaching career was through
Yet another teacher was different still
He was quite strange to look at
An auror, or so he said
He wasn't so truthful about that
The trouble all year was caused by him
And the rising of evil he did assist
But before he could tell all he knew
He received a horrible kiss
Finally, no teacher could be found
So the Minister appointed a new one
She was quite an evil toad
And wouldn't let Hogwarts have any fun
Day after day she made her decrees
And punished the breaking of imaginary rules
But she got her comeuppance in the end
She and those who respected her looked like fools
Now the position is open again
But you see why not to apply
With all the dangers at Hogwarts school
It's just better not to try