A Recap of Recent Events:

Her chest pounded as Lily and James' lips found each other. Although she was covered in goose bumps and her stomach soared up to her throat as she partook in the scene that had never meant to happen, the feeling of him against her was incomprehensible. For a moment she forgot herself; the kiss was prolonged and she only partially noticed when James pulled her in close. Now she could catch a scent wafting toward her. The scent of – what was this? – simply clean was the only way she could describe it.

And then, as if by imagining contrast, Lily thought of the boy who was currently suffering for her sake…hanging powerless over fatal fumes…witnessing the destruction of their lives. She stood motionless for a final second before subtly breaking off her lips from James. His hands slipped from her waist and she was suspended in air, gracefully falling onto the cool, grimy floor. The smell was lost. The kiss had ended.

Reality hit her as hard as her body hit the ground, actually realizing what she had just done. Lily buried her face in her hands and tried not to break out in sobs. She felt remorse, and wished that she could take everything back; she felt anger, and wished that she could tear out her hair; then she felt longing, and just wished.

A series of shuffling and low whispers issued from behind her, and one by one, the noises traveled away, dimmed, and were silenced. Lily barely acknowledged them, however; her thoughts drifted from daisies in the park to branches on trees, and back again, and over, and over... Now she noticed another indistinct, awkward shuffling and a whisper, this time from a single speaker. The sound grew closer until it stopped directly in front of her. The faintest breath fell against her skin, and a sound issued from this:

"Lily."

Severus barely used her name. Ever so slowly, Lily lifted her head to find his face only a foot away from hers. His expression was searching and held a hint of concern. She did not smile; she could not. Instead, she changed her mien from distraught to blank, almost equal to that of his. They stared at each other in wordless understanding, unblinking and unmoving.

Suddenly, Lily felt a great impulse and, without missing a beat, wrapped her arms around Severus in an act that had never occurred to her before. For a moment she feared that he would recoil, but eventually he relaxed and squeezed back in reply. A rush of emotions filled her insides, but she had no time for them. Only one word throbbed incessantly inside her head which she found she could no longer ignore.

Placing her cheek against his, she felt the warmth of his breath once again on her skin, and whispered just as softly, "Severus."

Lily and Severus barely talked for the next week. Passing in the halls, they mostly just eyed each other for a few brief moments, then blushingly went their separate ways. When in class, they only talked when needed; it seemed that they either had too much on their mind, or not much to say at all to each other... Through this awkward period, James still teased Lily, but instead of responding she gave him a hard, cold stare that shut him up instantly.

About a week after the incident, Lily ascended the steps to the girls' dormitory after having dinner in the Great Hall. Her mind was still full of thoughts about the post-Potions class scenario as she dropped into her bed. She suddenly ached for a Pensieve as new memories lifted themselves before her closed eyes, emerging from the depths of her mind, then flitting away into the darkness, lost forever. Lily tried to recount exactly what had occurred: at first she imagined Severus jinxing James, then more series of spells were cast, but she could not help but to race to the first important detail –

She was pulled into James…He smelled fresh…His skin was warm…And of course, he was an excellent, however surprisingly passionate kisser. They fit so well together, against each other's bodies…Now she could recall his sighing chest, and wondered what they looked like standing there together…

Lily shook the thoughts from her head. It was her first real kiss; this new infatuation must only be fleeting. She now imagined the pain that it had caused Severus to watch the ordeal, and the pain that it probably still inflicted upon him. Why was she so selfish? Then a new memory flashed before her eyes:

This time, it was Lily who pulled Severus into her body. They sat in silent understanding until Lily whispered, "Severus…" A line of tears ran down her smooth face and fell onto his shoulder. Once he noticed, Severus pulled away from the embrace and stared at her, wishing to know what happened, wishing to say something, to stay there forever with her. Lily wiped her own tears away and paused, also wishing to do those things that she could not bring herself to. Grudgingly, she pulled herself up and gathered her pack silently, pretending not to notice that Severus was still slumped on the stone tiles. Before exiting through the door, she turned back and looked with desperation at him. However, there was nothing else she could do, and she left without another word.

Now Lily lay quietly in her bed, and knew that she had lied to herself. Without making another sound, she crept out of bed and pulled on her nightgown, stowing her wand away in her pocket. Lily was never a trouble maker, and would never be caught dead around the corridors at night; but as she padded down the stairs and stepped out of the portrait hole from the Gryffindor common room, the answer became clear.

There was one last thing to do, and it definitely deserved rule breaking.