A/N: First of all: thank you for the reviews. It's good to know that there are peolpe who read and enjoy the thing I write. So again, thanks. To my Beta 'dcrendi' too. I mean thanks.. ummm... rough day. Sorry. I should stop writing and start posting. So I'll just do that. :-)

DISCLAIMER: Not mine.

Chapter 5

The weekend in Stars Hollow was less relaxing for Rory than usual, but Ella didn't seem to notice. Since April and Lorelai kept her occupied. Lorelai wanted to know what was up, but Rory was less than willing to share anything other than the fact that she was going to meet Logan on Monday, so she decided it was better not to push. She would find out eventually. Sunday afternoon the girls left the crazy small town to head back to the crazy big one.

The ride to New York seemed endless to Rory. Ella was in a particularly chatty mood, but Rory couldn't concentrate. She usually answered her daughter's questions no matter how many thousands she had. But right now her mind was somewhere else. Talking to Logan on the phone was one thing. Facing him, looking into his eyes again - well that was something else. Why was he back? Was he back for good? If he was back, did he want to be in their lives? If he did, in what role did he want to participate? What did she herself want him to be? What did she want him to want? If Rory would have been a punctuation mark she definitely would have been a question mark. She was confused. She wanted answers and at the same time she dreaded getting those answers.

On Monday she started out early, she wanted to complete her tasks for that day before lunch, just in case she wouldn't be able to concentrate after talking to Logan. It was 12:50 when she saved her work, shut down her computer and grabbed her coat and purse and left the crowded newsroom. She met Logan in front of the building five minutes later. He was pacing on the street - he was slightly early too...

They greeted each other, and then headed to the park. He didn't know how to walk to the park. Just go beside her? Offer her his arm? Hold her hand? None of these options seemed good. He weighed his options. Walking close to her and not touching her - that was hard for him. He didn't think it would that be hard, but it was. Offering his arm? Hmm. That would be the polite thing to do, but he wasn't ready to risk refusal. And of course holding her hand was not a real option. Maybe it would be in an alternate universe, but not in this one. He didn't even know what they were. Enemies? Strangers? Acquaintances? He couldn't find a proper expression in his dictionary for the relationship they had no matter how hard he tried. So he just tried to walk close to her, but no too close - he could practically see the walls built up around her. There was no point pushing her to the defensive side even more. Those walls seemed thick and high and hard enough to fight.

On the way to the park she didn't feel emotionally strong enough to look at him. Walking on his side took all her strength. After all the things he'd done and hadn't done - he was still a walking Rory-magnet. She could smell his familiar scent. For a short moment she closed her eyes and forgot about the past five years. It felt like they were still at Yale, and he had waited for her after one of her classes. Then she opened her eyes, and felt like touching him, and running away from him at the same time. Rory felt ambivalent. She wanted to feel anger and despise him, but she just couldn't. There was a time when she wanted to live her whole life with that man next to her. There was a time when she would have done anything for that man next to her. And then there was the fact that she couldn't change - she had his daughter. That was a connection that couldn't be changed, no matter what.

Logan couldn't tear his gaze away from Rory. It was something he didn't understand. He was the one who ran away. Sure he used to love her, but he spent five years without her. But now? Just walking next to her made him feel as though continuing to live away from her would be impossible. Now he couldn't figure out how he was capable of walking away from her five years ago. He couldn't understand how he could have survived those five years without the woman next to him. She was the same now, and yet she was different somehow. Good different. She was radiating. She was everything he remembered and so much more. She had some supernatural power, or at least Logan felt so. What made her this irresistible? The fact that he wasn't allowed to touch her? Or was it something else? Walking next to her made him want her, made him need her so much he felt like screaming out loud. There was a tension that was almost impossible for him to handle.

When they reached the park they sat down on a bench. Neither of them wanted to speak first. But eventually they had to start, and Logan realized it was him who had to start the conversation. The whole situation was surreal. All the balls were on Rory's side of the court and yet he had to start the game... Making some small talk wouldn't work; he knew it wouldn't lead anywhere. No beating around the bush. In medias res, right in the middle, jump into it - so many expressions, all of them meant that he had to say something... He, who never had problem with words, now found himself unable to talk again. This was the second time in less than a week, and all because of one woman. He slowly breathed in and out trying to calm himself.

"Can I see her picture?" The sentence left his mouth without warning. He didn't want to start with that.

Rory opened her purse and fished for the photo album she brought and handed it to Logan. For a long moment that seemed like hours to him he just held it, afraid to open it. Then he opened it slowly. The first picture was Rory and a crying baby on a hospital bed. That was the moment when it dawned on Logan that he didn't even know his daughter's name. He felt ashamed. He now knew what was going to be his next question, but he just couldn't find his voice. Seeing the exhausted yet beautiful and radiating Rory with his baby in her arms was something that made him feel like crying. He thought newborns were everything but beautiful. But he was proven wrong. He looked into Rory's eyes and asked in a shaky whisper:

"What is her name?"

Rory was ready to spat a cruel answer, but seeing something in his eyes didn't let her. Instead she simply said "Lorelai Blythe Gilmore. But she goes by 'Ella'. - You know she's a girl, so giving her the first name 'Lorelai' was a given. I didn't even think about that. It's a tradition. And I like that bond between great-grandma, mom and me, and now Ella. It's special. And I chose 'Blythe' because it means 'joyous' and you know how they say 'Nomen est omen.' and I want her to be happy, and she makes me, and I think everybody else, happy. Ella came from Lor elai, just with a double l. And the fact that it means 'beautiful fairy woman' was definitely on the pro side of my list... I mean just look at her!" She trailed off saying the last part pointing to the picture Logan was holding.

That was the longest sentence he heard from her for five years. It was almost her trademark ramble, and that made him smile. Leave it to Rory to make a pro/con list of names, and do some research for baby names. He was wondering whether she organized her research on names into color coded files... he could see her in lounge pants and sweater in company of books like '100,000 + Baby Names: The Most Complete Baby Name Book', 'The Baby Name Wizard: A Magical Method for Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby' or 'Cool Names: for Babies' and '55,000 plus Baby Names: A Great Selection of Popular and Unusual Names From Around the World' with her laptop on her lap surfing on the net for names and meaning of the names. Something he should have done with her, but she had to do alone.

"Great choice." That was all Logan said, but his tone told Rory that he was sorry more than words could say.

He turned to the second page, and saw the three Lorelais, then the four Gilmore Girls, Ella with the proud Richard, and then pictures of Ella with Steph, Colin, Finn, Paris or Lane. Ella on Rory's graduation both in identical caps and gowns. Then Ella with a cake with one candle on it. Ella in the park, Ella with dolls, Ella, Ella, Ella. A few pages later there was even Ella with Mitchum. That was weird. Seeing his father with his granddaughter. He could tell Mitchum was proud of the little girl. He hadn't met the munchkin yet, but what he saw in the pictures told him that the girl was beautiful, and the glint in her eyes made it obvious that she was adventurous and mischievous as well. There were some pictures of Rory during her pregnancy. Her friends and mother had made sure that life during her pregnancy was just as crazy as a life without Ella would have been. Logan couldn't stop smiling. There was a picture that was taken at a Halloween party. Ella's existence was obvious by then, and Finn made Rory go to the party. He chose her costume: she was Obelix, and Finn dressed as Asterix. And well... Ella was Obelix's huge belly. The last one in the album was only a few weeks old: mother and daughter in Stars Hollow at the 'End of Summer' festival. Ella was on Rory's back, and they were laughing, their identical eyes were full of light and sparkles. They were irresistible.

Logan was just looking at the pictures, and random questions popped into his head. Did she have morning sickness? And cravings? If yes, what did she have cravings for? How did she do going without coffee for more than six months? Did Lorelai tell whale jokes? Was his daughter addicted to coffee too? Was Ella grouchy in the mornings or was she chirpy and smiley like him? Did Rory have a boyfriend or maybe a fiancé? 5 years is long time. He checked her fingers for a ring, but didn't find one and he found himself happy about that.

"Rory?" Saying her name felt good for him. Besides he wanted to ask something, something big. He needed to understand the situation, but asking that particular question was not easy for him.

"Yes?"

"I don't really know how should I put this, so I'm just gonna ask, and you try to answer, OK?" Rory nodded 'yes'. "Why aren't you yelling at me? Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but if I were you, I surely would yell at the guy who had left me alone to deal with a pregnancy and a kid."

"You know, first I was waiting for you. I wanted you to come back. It was like hell when I realized you wouldn't come, that I was on my own. I was a mess. God, even Finn was worried. But I had to get up and start walking on my own. For myself, and for Ella. And we did it. I graduated in time, I got my job, we moved here. I have a great daughter, not to mention the family and friends who have been there for me. I'm not saying that my life is a fairy tale, but complaining won't lead me anywhere. Funny that your father was the one who taught me that lesson, and first I really hated him for it. But it paid off. Yelling at you won't erase the past, and I'm over the point when it would have made me feel better. I gave up long ago on understanding why what happened happened. All I want to know is what your intentions are. I need to know what your intentions are."

"Well, you might not care, and I understand if you don't, but when I left I wanted to go back to you. You were sleeping and I waved good bye, and as soon as the elevator's doors closed I felt like running back to you. But I despised myself for all the things I said the night before. I didn't believe that there could be a way back. I thought about calling you, but again: my pride stopped me. In London I threw myself into work. And as time went by I think I just suppressed all the feelings I had. I tried to forget you, because remembering you meant remembering me being a coward. But as you see: I just can't keep running away from myself. That is why I came back. I know I have to face the guy, who I was in the past. It sure isn't a Disney marathon, but if I want a future, I just have to do that, because this is the right thing to do. I was acting like a crabby teenage boy, rebelling against my father, my life, against anything and everything. I won't do that anymore. My intentions? I want to be in your life. I want to be in my daughter's life. I want to act like the person you deserve as the father of your daughter. Let me get to know you again, and let me get to know her."

Rory swallowed hard, and kept staring at her shoes. "I want you to be in her life, I won't deny that..."

"Why do I feel that there is a 'but' on its way here?"

"Maybe because there is a but. So... I do want you in her life, but I can't let you walk in and out. My father did that and that was one of the reasons I was so insecure... I don't want her to feel insecure. She deserves the best."

"I know. I know. So where does that leave us?"

"Well, you'll have to wait. And I'm not telling you this to punish you, or because I want you to suffer, because I don't. But you have to understand me too. As I told you, you can be a part of her life, but you have to know, we are like foxes. There are many, many levels, and you can't skip even one."

"Foxes?"

"Wrack your brain, Huntzberger." A small smile appeared on Logan's face as realization dawned on him.

"It wouldn't be you if you hadn't come up with a literary reference. So I have to tame you. Oookay. I will be your Little Prince. I will take my time. I promise. I have the golden hair after all." He let himself smirk the first time.

"Don't. Please, don't. Do not promise anything. Just try." His face fell. It was a good thing that Rory didn't look at him. She didn't trust him. He knew it wasn't gonna be easy to get close to Rory again, but those words showed him exactly how hard it was going to be.

"Oookaaay. When can I meet her?"

"I don't know. I haven't talked to her about you yet." It was true. She didn't want to mention anything to Ella. Not until she knew what he was up to. It was a defence mechanism, something she needed so much.

"Well, take all the time you need. I just want to see her. You don't have to tell her that I'm his father if you think that it's for the best. I'd understand..."

"No. That's not what I want. I'm gonna talk to her, and then you can come and meet her. She's asked about her father, but I told her he had an important job in London. She even asked Mitchum about you, and he told her the same. She doesn't think that you don't love her. Mitchum even told her stories about you when you were a child. So she doesn't think that you abandoned her, she just doesn't know you."

"Thank you."

"It wasn't for your sake. It was for hers. But I'm warning you. She's sharp. And she's like a walking question mark. You better have answers. Good answers."

"I'll try my best. Just give me a chance."

"For my daughter's sake I won't tell you that you already had your chance. But as I told you, don't expect us to become a happy family from Pleasantville in 2 seconds, just because you decided to come back. It's not that easy. We have to get to know you, and you have to get to know us."

"I understand."

"I should get back to work."

"You should. Do I get to walk you back to your office?"

"It's a free country. You can walk wherever you want." With that Rory stood up and headed back to her office. Logan didn't wait long to follow her. So they walked out from the park on each other's side, but Logan made sure he didn't go too close... After all he was the Little Prince now, on his way to tame two girls at the same time.

"5 PM."

Logan gives her a questioning look.

"5 PM. That's when I usually leave my office and go to the preschool to pick up Ella..." With that she entered the large building leaving a smiling Logan on the street.

--

A/N: Umm... I just wanted to tell you that the baby name books are (believe it or not) REAL. One of my best friends is an "every second" now (It's code for 'her baby was supposed to come out yesterday, but the little girl likes it inside, or so it looks, because she's definitely not about to come out anytime soon.') and I looked for these kind of books a few weeks ago. Let me just tell you, it's a jungle out there on amazon when it comes to baby name books... one is crazier then the other. The ones I mentioned are just the tip of the iceberg... And I think there is a competition or something on who can give the longest title... here's my personal favourite, I really think it's a gem: 'The Everything Baby Names Book, Completely Updated With 5,000 More Names: Pick the Perfect Name for Your Baby' - You might ask 'And your point is?' Well, my point is: it lasts longer to read the title than the whole pregnancy...!

The next chapter will be up in abou three weeks. Sorry. Busy, busy, busy.

Ok, one last thing. My Beta told me that you might not know anything about Asterix and Obelix. Well, they are heroes of a series of French comic books. I searched for some pictures, so you can imagine them. You can find the links in my profile.

Thanks for reading!