The Best Ex
Disclaimer: I do not own the show or characters. I own nothing. Oh yeah and I am a Leyton fan you've been warned.
Brooke
She talks in her sleep you know, most people don't know that because for her to sleep around you she has to trust you. And very few people earn that trust from P. Sawyer, I was one of the proud few. I broke that trust not once but twice… she knows about one but not the other. It's funny in a not so funny way but the first time was with Lucas just like her first time breaking my trust. She doesn't see it that way, she doesn't think that she had a claim on him but she did. I saw the way she looked at him and the way she acted, I knew her, I was her best friend of course I knew. I couldn't help myself he was the first guy that treated me as though I was more than a body. I couldn't give that up.
I knew when I walked into that room with them what had just happened, I heard what she said…I knew how she felt, I knew he was hers and I knew that I should walk away, I also knew she would walk away. I let her walk away pretending that I didn't just break the heart I swore I would help her protect. Soon I was able to pretend too. I pretended that we could all be friends, that I didn't see the looks, that I didn't hurt her.
I was willing to hurt her for Lucas, he made me feel like a better person or rather he helped me show the world that I was more. With him I was able to drop the act, the party girl was fun and a part of who I was but it wasn't the whole person. Under the party girl was a person that only Peyton was able to see, at least before him. After him that part of me was allowed to shine. He would say that I grew as a person but I didn't. Peyton would say that he just helped me uncover myself and she would be right.
But I got off the subject, I was talking about pretending that friendship was the only thing between those two. Yeah, I got out of that denial river. How you may ask. By checking on my boyfriend. I'm not sure what hurt more seeing them together or seeing them together on his computer. You see that meant he still watched her (stalker).
I felt sick, physically ill. It hurt so much I wanted to throw up. You know the worst part of it was all of a sudden I knew how she felt watching us together. I hated her for that, I hated her for making me feel bad when she was the one stealing MY boyfriend. I hated her for making me realize what I had done to us. I hated Lucas for being the boy that came between us. We were Best Friends Forever and he broke us. I hated myself for letting him. In short I hated all of us and that hurt. So, I took it out on them. Mainly I took it out on the person that meant the most to me, Peyton.
Believe it or not we fixed our friendship. That's who we are, no matter what, we are pulled to each other. She covered her feelings again for me and I started dating Lucas again after making him pay a bit.
But again I break off, I was saying that I betrayed her twice. Most people would think that I meant Nathan but that's not it. She was shot … I was there with her and I ran without her. I never even looked back till I got out I just assumed she was right there with me. After all she's my P. Sawyer I'm not allowed to lose her. It wasn't me who went back in after her though. No, it was my boyfriend of that time. You wanna take a guess who it was. That's right Lucas, my Lucas, her Lucas. Again knowing how they felt,
even though they buried it, I took him. But it was him, he was always playing her white knight, not mine.
It was after he saved her that I decided that I couldn't pretend anymore. I couldn't play their game. As I told her, "the boy I love protected the girl I love and that's the girl he loves too." She denied it, I knew she would, she was still in that river pretending she wanted Jake. Lying to herself and I let her. I moved in with her everyone knows that and this is where I betrayed her. Remember she talks in her sleep, I've heard it many nights she says the one thing I love and loathe hearing… "I love you…Lucas." I never told her she said it. That was my second betrayal, letting her lie to herself. I loved hearing it though because it meant I was right and I still knew her better than anyone else including herself. On the other hand I loathed it because it meant my world was going to fall apart as soon as she realized the truth. I would lose her and Lucas because I wouldn't be able to help lashing out. He was the one thing that can come between us, I loved the way he made me feel and she loved him. When it all came out I would lose them both.
I still don't know what happen with her and Jake but when she came back, I knew my world was going to shatter and it did. I tried to play it off saying you mean as a friend I tried to give her an out, you care for him as a friend. She wasn't going to do that though, what made it worse was the next day when she said she didn't want him, she wasn't going to go after him because of me. How dare she be noble, how dare she make me remember that I did go after him, that I did steal him. How dare she make me realize I was throwing away our friendship for a boy I wasn't in love with, I just loved the way he made me feel. I also knew as long as I had him I could keep her. A part of me knew that if they got together then Peyton wouldn't need me anymore. Not like she did before, she would have new person to be her hero and to hold her.
So in classic Brooke fashion I lashed out at Peyton, broke up with broody and partied with Rachael. God I was so mean to her, I made fun of her pain, the deaths of her moms, one of whom I knew and loved, I cried with her. I couldn't control it my mouth spoke and I was horrified by the words pouring out. I watched her tear up at times and I wanted to take it back and hold her but I couldn't. When her so called brother attacked her I couldn't bring myself to go see her because I let her down. Again.
I should have been there; I should have been the one helping her but I was too busy being a bitch to notice how psycho-psycho boy was. It was my fault you see, if I hadn't been fighting with her then I would have been with her. While Lucas was with the cops checking in on things I would have been with her because I wouldn't have wanted her to be alone. Psycho boy wouldn't have been able to hurt her, mentally or physically. So how could I check up on her when her wounds were my fault?
So I hid from my guilt and lashed out more. She was the one that gave me the opening to be friends again, or rather Lucas did with his idiotic "Oh." What an ass. The girl of his dreams confesses to being in love with in and he says "oh." Which while funny as hell was extremely sad because I know Peyton and that had to hurt her so much it's such a non-reaction any real reaction would have been better than "Oh". Through her hurt she tells me that I'm the one he wants by his side (again idiot). That's all I could think 'he is so stupidly idiotic'. I asked her why she would tell me that, rather than calling him a stupid idiotic ass like I wanted. After all I've spent so much time being a bitch to her and here she is trying to give me the guy again. It didn't make me mad this time though, it reminded me why I love this girl; she's a bitch with a heart of gold at least when it comes to me. She is the best ex a girl could have. Then, she told me why, "Because I would have given anything to hear him say it was me." That was when I decided to pull Lucas' head out of his rectum.
Well needless to say it worked and we were free to work on our friendship though I wasn't quiet ready to try full force again. Just as I was ready to tell P. Sawyer that all was forgiven she found out about Nathan and myself. Yeah, she took it a lot harder than I ever thought she would. I just didn't understand until she was yelling at me about how I cut her out when she needed me the most for being honest with me. When she said I was dead to her, I can't describe how much that hurt. It was a radiating pain that echoed through out my whole body. There was not a single cell that didn't feel that phrase as it hit. Have you ever had a broken bone? Well that pain cannot even hope to touch the pain of a broken heart, I swear mine broke with just those words.
Did I mention the bitch stole my prom dress? Yep, when she sent it back I was so mad. Why? Because she was giving me my dress back, I was really dead to her if she wasn't striking at me. Then at prom I saw it… WHORE was written across my dress in a paint that only showed up in black light. She cared I was so happy. I wanted to talk to her so I tried to find her, Lucas said she wasn't coming. Ass. Yes that is the word that comes to mind with Lucas these days. Where is the boy that knew my P. Sawyer so well it scared me? I was afraid for my spot in Peyton's life because of this ass who didn't even realize Peyton would not skip Prom.
So I had to hunt her down and save her from psycho boy myself. Okay so there was some mutual saving going on but the thing is we didn't need Lucas we saved each other and our friendship. Peyton Sawyer is the best ex a girl could have but I'm happy knowing the there is no ex involved except for my ex ass (Lucas). And he is not coming between us ever again. If he tries I feed him to psycho boy myself.
I hope Lucas knows she talks in her sleep.
I'm thinking of doing it though the eyes of couple other people what you all of you think should I continue?