A/N: Yes. It took me forever and yes, it is short. The good news is that the fact that summer is here means university is out of the picture for two months which means I only have to juggle with my paying job and a summer practice so... I make no promises, but I try my best and update this story more (khm) frequently.

DISCLAIMER: Not mine.

CHAPTER #7

"Did you talk to my father?" "Is he going to come?" "What are we going to do?" "Who else is going to come?" "I don't have to talk to him if I don't want to, do I?" The next morning Ella had even more questions than usual. Rory tried to act like she was deaf, but that didn't really help. If she wanted the week to be normal-ish she had no other choice than to talk to her. So she took a big breath, released it as slooooowly as humanly possible, and bent down to Ella.

"OK, for Mommy's sanity's sake, please listen to me. On our guest list there is Paris with Finn and Stephanie with Colin. I have yet to talk to your father, but I am going to talk to him today. I know that you have many many questions. But I only have answers for the not too relevant ones. You get to chose what we do, since it's a special evening. We can play board games, we can talk, or even watch a movie. It depends on you. And you don't have to do anything that you don't feel comfortable with. I don't know how it's going to be. But one thing I know for sure. You are a great kid, and most people who get to know you love you, so don't worry about anything. OK?"

"OK-ish." Nodded Ella trying hard not to ask any more questions. It was hard to do that. She was excited, she was worried. There were so many things on her mind. But then she looked into Rory's eyes and she saw something there she'd never seen before. She didn't really had words for that, but if she'd had, she'd probably said she saw pain, worry, love, determination, insecurity. She'd never seen her mother this vulnerable her entire life. No, she didn't know what restrained her from asking all the questions she had, but something that was bigger than her did.

Rory wasn't convinced by Ella's weak 'OK-ish' but that was all she could get out of her. She could swear she saw her daughter take a breath to ask another question, but then for a second their eyes met, and the expected question never came. And she saw something in her daughter's eyes she'd never seen before. Of course she told Ella she loved her countless times, and her daughter always responded with "I love you too," but the love she saw that moment in the four-year-old's eyes was different. It wasn't just love, but understanding too. Like her daughter somehow deep inside understood what she went through, and she refrained from asking any more questions out of love. How can a four-year-old love in such mature way? Rory was so touched by Ella swallowing her questions she couldn't stop the tears that were burning her eyes, so she just hugged her daughter and held her for dear life hoping that lil' Sherlock wouldn't notice, but she didn't have such luck.

"Why are you crying Mommy?" Asked Ella with a puzzled look. She didn't want to make her Mom cry.

"I am crying, because I am happy. You make me happy. And it may seem now as an oxymoron, but one day you'll understand, that tears can be sign of happiness too. Some kind of deep happiness thatsmiling or laughing just can't express, happiness that is almost unbearable, happiness that almost hurts, happiness that is stronger than your willpower. This kind of happiness fills your eyes with tears. And you can't stop the tears, no matter how hard you try." Ella looked a little bit sceptically, but didnT say anything. They just held each other on the kitchen floor like the rest of the world didn't exist. And that was when the bird shaped alarm clock started to chirp signaling that they had to leave if they wanted to be on time. So mother and daughter reluctantly stood up, and returned to their rooms to gather their things. Five minutes later they were on their way to the preschool, holding hands, commenting on funny outfits and lame shoes they've seen on others. You could say mocking was a tradition in the family. At the preschool Rory kissed Ella goodbye, and headed to her office.

She didn't expect her day to be all that productive. She was distracted the whole day and she was grateful for her co-workers obliviousness. Otherwise they might have questioned her, and answering personal questions was something she wanted to avoid. Right at 5 PM she got up from her desk, slowly gathered her purse and coat and went to the elevator. Again, she wasn't sure what to expect. She was just like the poor boy to whom Paris once said, "You need a couple of them." She needed a couple of them too as soon as possible. Stepping out of the building she noticed Logan standing at a lamp-post. She knew she had to talk to him, and letting him follow her to the school wasn't a real option, so she stepped towards him. Logan was ready to follow her just like he did the previous day, but a moment later when he realized her aim he did the same thing: stepped towards her. They just stood there for a minute, staring at each other, neither of them speaking. Logan had to bite his tongue not to, but he knew that Rory is the one who's allowed to speak first. At this state of their relationship she dictated the pace, basically everything depended on her. It was a whole new situation for Logan. He wasn't used to being passive, to not being in control, at all. He experienced first hand yet again that being responsible for his life is not as easy as he thought it to be. But the fact that he wanted to do things right, that he wanted to get closer to the amazing woman who was the mother of his child, and wanted to get to know his daughter gave him the strength to stay silent and wait for Rory to speak.

"Umm... So I talked to Ella yesterday. She knows that her father is back in the States, and she knows that you are her father. Now she wants to watch you. So... what are you doing Sunday afternoon?"

"She wants to meet me?" Logan asked, and Rory could tell that he was excited. But she knew her answer would cool him.

"I never said that. I said she wanted to watch you. So I invited the whole gang, and now I am inviting you to come over and participate in our crazy gathering. We can play board games, we can talk about the good ol' days, or we can watch a movie - that depends on Ella. The point is she can watch you. She's an observer. Her first week in preschool she didn't even talk to anyone..."

"I see. Like mother like daughter, huh?" Logan was convinced that Ella didn't get anything from him except her hair, and to be honest he was a little bit sad about that. Little did he know that Lorelai kept calling Ella 'little circus freak' every time she chose fruit over candy on movie nights.

"I guess you could say that, sometimes."

"Well, my answer is yes. I am free on Sunday, and even if I wasn't, I'd make myself free. When should I be at your place? Do you want me to bring something?"

"Umm. I guess 3 PM would be fine. We'll be done with lunch and maybe I can lay her down for a short nap, however the chances of that are slim to none. She's not easy when she's grouchy, and she's definitely grouchy when she's tired... I guess excitement and sleep doesn't go well together... Still I'll try." Rory said the last part more to herself than to Logan but he heard nonetheless.

"Deal. I'll be there 3 PM sharp. Since that's done we only need to decide what to do now. May I follow you, or that is not an option since the bracelet incident?"

"Bracelet incident?"

"What else would you call that?"

"To be honest I didn't think about giving a name to that event."

"So what should I do now?" There he was again, asking for her permission to do something.

"What do you want to do?"

"I like watching her. She seems to be a cool kid." Even he was surprised at his reaction to Ella. The moment they met eye to eye was one of those moments of life when you just don't know what hit you. Logan felt some kind of connection he never felt before, a connection which he wasn't even it sure existed.

"She is. She really is. Umm. Listen. I really don't want to say this, but she would definitely spot you the moment we step out of the school. She's pretty much confused as it is. I'm not sure if she could understand why you aren't there when you are there."

"Can I at least walk you to the school? You could tell me how she took the news."

"I think that can be arranged..." With that they headed to the preschool. Rory wasn't sure it was a good idea, but it felt good to walk beside him again, and she just couldn't resist the temptation. For a second she almost could see the three of them walking down the street in the summer sunshine, Ella on Logan's neck, ice cream in their hands, laughing, and discussing which flavor really is the best. If Logan would have been a mind-reader, he would have stayed quiet, but he wasn't. However he was eager to hear Rory talk some more. The magic broke when he said

"You didn't tell me how she reacted."

"She asked a lot of questions. She wanted to know why did we act like strangers, why didn't you work in New York, are you going to live with us, so basically all the 'Why aren't we like all the other families?' kind of questions resurfaced again. From time to time we go back to this conversation. I guess because I never really had good answers. But what should I have told her? I didn't have good enough answers to all of those questions myself."

Logan kept staring at the pavement under his feet. He was the cause of those questions as well as the lack of the answers.

"I am so sorry. I am sorry I was a coward, a jerk, I don't even have words to describe how horrible it was what I did. Yesterday as I watched you with her I remembered the time when I was a kid and my dad still played with me and was proud of me. After you went home I sat there for about half an hour, and I felt ashamed. You know, since I can remember I was always the disappointment in my father's eyes, and let's just say I thought he was the worst father walking on earth. Watching the two of you brought back those memories, and I realized that I am a worse father than mine ever was. Ella doesn't even know her father. All these years I've been fighting and rebelling against something that wasn't even there. Like an angry teenager. I can't tell you how sorry I am."

Rory felt relieved when they reached their destination. She could have responded to Logan's confession, but there was no point to do so. He screwed up, yes she could have made a sarcastic comment, but she decided against sarcasm when it came to Logan Monday because she knew it wouldn't get them anywhere. But she couldn't just say "It's OK. True, you weren't there for her, but from now on you are going to be." or some comforting line like that either, because she had no idea how would Ella respond to Logan (she hoped they would be great together, they were so alike after all, but she couldn't be sure of that yet) and she still wasn't sure Logan was there for the long run. That was something only time would tell so Rory remained silent. After a few seconds later when Logan knew for sure Rory wouldn't say anything according to his self flagellation, he was about to say "Miranda rights are quite useful sometimes, aren't they?" but he swallowed the bitter comment.

"So this is me. Thanks for walking me here. Next time you could tell me about your London life or how the settling down in the Big Apple goes." With that she waved good-bye and went in to get her daughter. By the time they exited the school Logan was nowhere to be seen.