Part 3: What if it's you

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Jag.

Author's Note: I've been debating which part of this song to use for almost two days (do you know how hard it is to argue with yourself?). I hope I got the point across with this. Of course if you read this, please, please, please review it.

Setting: Sometime in the sixth season and just pretend that Harriet wasn't pregnant with baby Sarah. HM all the way!!

"If I ever hold you I'll never let go

But if I never do how will I know

What if it's you"

Mac never knew she could be so scared. What happened to the tough as nails marine? She was replaced by Sarah, the scared little girl who wanted to know if her feeling were right. She had been standing outside of Harm's apartment for almost an hour now. She didn't know if she could actually muster up the courage to go and knock on the door or if she should just get back in her car and drive away as quickly as she could.

Different scenarios kept running through her head. The first was that she would go and knock on his door, kissing him senseless the second he opened his door so that he didn't have time to ask her why she was there. The problem was she knew that there was no way she could be sure he wanted her. That was where her nightmare was, the unknown. The other scenario she had envisioned was that she knocked on his door and he had Renee there with him. Renee, just her name made Mac angry. She was a blonde bimbo, just the type that Harm always fell for. Renee was also the one that currently had him. If Mac had anything to do about it tonight would change all of that forever.

Summoning courage from somewhere she didn't even know was there Mac chose to raise her hand to the door. With each resounding tap of her knuckles against the hard wood she felt her heart speed up. She could feel all of the nerves in her body buzzing with anticipation. She still didn't know what to do or say when he answered the door, but she had to get this settled.

Suddenly the door swung open revealing Harmon Rabb Jr. She was transfixed on the spot. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans, a simple outfit really, but he couldn't have looked better to her. He smiled when he saw her, it wasn't his flyboy smile, but she would take anything at this point. That's all it took for her. She lunged at him like a tiger going in for the kill. Her lips crashing on his in a kiss that she hoped would tell him everything she couldn't say in words. He didn't back away but he didn't respond like she wanted him to either. Once she realized she was doing all the work she backed away, looking in his eyes for some kind of confirmation. She got it, but not in the way she expected.

A familiar female voice sounded from somewhere in the apartment making Mac's heart sink the second she heard it, "Harm, how could you!"

It was official; her worst nightmare had come true. Mac quickly turned on her heel and ran back down the hall and out of the building. Sliding into her car as quickly as she could she started the engine and hightailed it out of there.

She knew she couldn't go home to an empty apartment right now so she decided to drive around for a while. She didn't know where she was going to go right now, but anywhere was better than home. Home would just remind her of what she'd just done and that's the last thing she needed to be reminded of. She drove on autopilot the whole time, finding that she managed to get to Bud and Harriet's, amazed that she hadn't been in an accident with the amount of tears being shed. She glanced down at the clock noting that it was already after nine, guessing that little AJ was already in bed. It took less time than she would have figured for her to get out of her car and making her way to the Robert's door. Once she rang the door bell it didn't take too long for the door to open. Harriet was on the other side smiling as she saw Mac, taking a closer look her smile quickly faded into a look of concern, "What's wrong Ma'am?"

Mac barely managed to squeak out, "I was so stupid."

Without another word Harriet quickly wrapped her in a soft, motherly hug. Mac was her best friend and it killed Harriet to see her like that. Harriet rubbed her back soothingly and just let her cry, knowing Mac didn't cry often she knew it had to have been something big. When the bulk of the tears subsided Harriet let go a little, taking a good look at Mac. She had a feeling something had been up with her this last week at work, but she wasn't about to ask; now she finally had reason to. "What happened?" she asked, still trying to comfort her friend.

Mac sat down on the front steps, taking a deep breath. "I can't believe I did that."

"What did you do?" Harriet asked, taking a seat next to her.

"I…I kissed Harm." She said in almost a whisper.

"You did what?!" Harriet's eyes were as big as saucers.

"I went over to his house. When he opened the door I just… threw myself on him. He didn't even do anything Harriet. Not that I blame him. Renee was there." Words were now just spilling out of her mouth she didn't even know or care if they made sense anymore, she just need to get them out.

"You kissed the Commander?"

"Yes I kissed him. I still can't believe I did it." Mac said now starting to play with the hem of her shirt.

Harriet was now thoroughly confused, "What happened to Mic?"

Mac internally kicked herself for not telling Harriet about what had happened. "We broke up a week ago. I haven't seen him since."

"What happened? I thought you were going to get married."

"He found out how I felt about Harm. He knew he couldn't compete, so he left." tears forming in Mac's eyes once again.

Harriet shook her head, trying to wrap her head around all of the information she had just received. "So Mic left because you're in love with the Commander, and you kissed the Commander tonight."

"Yes Harriet. How could this happen? How could I let it happen?" Mac asked looking up to the sky as if the answer was going to be written in the stars.

"You're in love, anything can happen. Trust me it's not always what you want to happen, but anything can. Ma'am please believe me, this won't turn out as bad as you think it will. Even if it doesn't happen now something good will come from this. If nothing else at least you didn't marry a man you don't love." Harriet tried to get Mac to see the silver lining even though she knew it was going to be a long shot right now.

"That may be Harriet, but I have to work with Harm. This is going to change everything. What am I going to do?" For the first time since Harriet had met Mac she sounded like a lost little girl.

"What you're going to do is stay here for the weekend. You can worry about what you're going to do about the Commander on Monday. Trust me Little AJ will keep you busy." Harriet smiled and stood up knowing she was going to have the last word. Mac knew better than to argue at this point and followed Harriet into the house.

A/N: I hope you like this chapter I know it's longer than the last two. The length is just for michelle UK because that was the first flame I got for this fic, hopefully things will change now. By the way, if you're getting worried that this is going to be a sad story, it will change in the next chapter.