Chapter Five

"There you are. I was beginning to get worried about you," Jackie said as the three of them came in the door.

"We just went out for a quick walk, mum," Rose replied.

Jackie snorted.

"I've seen what can happen on a quick walk with the Doctor," she said.

"Jackie, I'm hurt," the Doctor said with feigned shock. "You talk about me like I'm a jinx or something."

Jackie rolled her eyes.

"Won't even be dignifying that with an answer," she muttered as she sat back down.

The Doctor winked at Rose as she shook her head.

"Well, troops, are we about ready to go?" the Doctor asked, looking at Rose and Mickey. "It's been a relaxing Halloween, but the universe needs savin'."

"Depends," Mickey muttered.

"Depends on what?" The Doctor asked.

"Depends on if you are gonna play your little practical jokes on me while we're flyin' 'round up there."

"Oh for heavens sake, Mickey; don't be a baby," the Doctor said, rolling his eyes. "I play practical jokes on Rose all the time, don't I, Rose?"

"He does. He's a right holy terror when he gets in the mood."

Mickey snorted.

"Yeah, right. He plays practical jokes on you. That's rich," he said

"He does. Like that time he swiped my lipstick and wrote chav on my forehead while I was asleep. Then sat there and didn't say a word about it until I went into the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror."

The Doctor snickered.

"That was great," he said. "The scream when she saw herself in the mirror was priceless. Still, it couldn't compare to the scream she let out when I put on this old Yeti costume I made a long time ago and jumped out at her while she was rummaging around in the fridge."

"God knows why he had a Yeti costume to begin with," Rose said.

"I made it for a costume ball they were having one year on Xanthis," the Doctor replied. "It was a huge shindig too. People from all over the solar system came. Unfortunately, I took second place. Some tart dressed up as a Corlax took first place. Those Xanthidians wouldn't know a prize winning costume if it bit them in the bum. But luckily, Rose came along and I found a better, funnier use for it. So, you see, Mickey. You aren't the only one who gets teased. So quit being a wet blanket. You wanted to have some adventures, after all."

"Yeah, I wanted to have some adventures. Not get abused by you every five minutes. If you're gonna do that, I'll just stay right here."

"Um, that won't work," the Doctor said.

"Why not?"

"Because, I'm in a time machine. So, if you decide to stay here, I'll just fly the TARDIS back to this exact point in time every once in awhile, open the door, kick your bum and disappear before you can retaliate."

"Um, Doctor, if you keep flying back to this exact spot," Rose cut in "Wouldn't you meet your other selves, create a paradox, and bring the reapers back?"

The Doctor turned and stared at her.

"I have told you before that you were too mouthy for your own good, haven't I? Because I seem to recall having said that," the Doctor said as Rose giggled.

He leaned in to Mickey.

"Women. Can't keep their gums from flapping if you tried."

"Oi!" Rose said, as the Doctor snickered.

"Anyway, Smith, if you come with us, you might have to endure a few well-placed jibes at your expense just like Rose has to. But I think you'll find that it is well worth it after you see all the wonders the universe has to offer, right, Rose?" he asked, looking at her.

Rose nodded.

He leaned in to Mickey.

"Besides, it gets you away from Jackie."

"Doctor!" Jackie yelled.

The Doctor gave her a look of innocence as she glared at him.

"And on that note, I think it's time to go," the Doctor said, noticing that Jackie was on the verge of slapping his face again. "Jackie, it's been a thrill seeing you again."

Jackie snorted.

"You're just sayin' that so you don't get a smack."

The Doctor gave her a sheepish grin.

"I guess saying you look stunning tonight won't help matters much, then?"

"No, it won't."

The Doctor coughed nervously. He paused and put a hand to his ear as Jackie advanced on him.

"Oh my God, the…flux capacitor…is malfunctioning in the TARDIS. I can hear it from here. I better go fix it before my fabulous ship explodes. BYE!"

Rose giggled as the Doctor ran into the next room. Jackie sighed as she heard the TARDIS door slam.

"Don't know what you see in him," she said to Rose.

Rose smiled.

"He's fun to be around," she said, shrugging.

"Oh yeah, he's a real riot, he is," Mickey muttered as Jackie nodded in agreement.

Rose looked at him.

"Then, why do you want to come with us, then? If he irritates you that much, stay home."

Mickey glared at her.

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Then, you'd get to be alone with him."

Rose said nothing.

Mickey narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah, you'd love it if I was out of the picture, wouldn't ya? Well, you ain't gonna have the opportunity to be alone with him. I'm coming just to make sure he doesn't do something to you."

Rose let out an exasperated sigh.

"Goodbye, mum," she said, giving Jackie a hug and a kiss. "I'll call when I can."

She looked at Mickey.

"Comin'?" she said coldly.

Mickey nodded and started towards the TARDIS. When his back was to her, Rose rolled her eyes and shook her head wishing he would stay home. She had a feeling it wasn't going to be much fun being around the Doctor with Mickey on board.

As they reached the TARDIS door, Mickey stepped aside and let her go through first. They entered and looked around for the Doctor.

"Doctor? We're in the TARDIS," Rose called out. "You can leave now."

Rose sighed when she didn't hear an answer from him.

"Alright, Doctor," she said, folding her arms over her chest. "My mum's not gonna come in here and get you. It's safe to come out."

They paused. Still no answer from the Doctor.

Rose shook her head.

"Now where'd the little coward get to?" she muttered, as she and Mickey walked towards the back of the control room. "I swear to God, the Doctor doesn't bat an eye at Daleks and Krillataines, but when it comes to my mum, he just turns tail and hides."

They neared an open doorway near the back; Rose getting more and more frustrated at the Doctor as she saw no sign of him.

"Doctor!" she yelled as they walked towards the open doorway. "You need to come out right now because I'm not going all over this TARDIS looking for…"

Suddenly, Mickey and Rose let out a scream as a big furry monster leapt at them from the doorway. Rose held her hand over her heart and glared at the Doctor as he removed the head from his Yeti costume.

"Yup, I'm so glad I decided to keep this old thing," he said. "I'm getting a lot of mileage out of it, turns out."

He smiled at Mickey.

"Sorry about that, Smith. But if you come with us, you have to get used to monsters jumping out at you. It's all part and parcel of traveling with a Time Lord. Just thought I'd give you a bit of practice and…"

He happened to look down at Mickey's trousers and noticed a huge wet spot around his crotch. He coughed nervously as Mickey gave him a look of death.

"Um…well, yes…bladder control is an important part of dealing with monsters too," he said sheepishly. "Can't go peeing on the surface of other people's planets. It's incredibly rude."

He let out a laugh that quickly died in the uneasy silence. He coughed.

"Well, on that note, I better get up back up into the vortex. We have places to see and work to do. Can't stand around chit chatting while universes need saving, eh?"

He quickly maneuvered around Mickey and Rose, ran over to the console, and began to input a destination as Mickey glared at him.

THE END