"Now let's go back inside. I'm freeeezing," I insisted, dragging her back into the heated building. We returned to the table, and I slid in next to Mark. "We're cool again," I answered softly to his questioning gaze.
"So dude, you and Maureen are hooked up?" Collins asked Benny.
"Yeah, how did that happen?" Mimi asked as she took a sip of the beer in front of her.
Maureen's eyes were looking down at the table. I could tell she was about to dive into a whopper of a lie.
"Well, when I got back from L.A, I ran into Benny at - you know that little cafe - next to the courthouse. Well, I was leaving that cafe, and ran into Benny coming in.We were talking and decided to go on a date."
The instinct of knowing my former lover made me excpect to see her nose grow. She was lying, but I wasn't going to point it out.
"What happened to Allison?" Mark asked.
"She left me for a cop named Stacey."
Mark bust a gut laughing. "You're kidding?"
"No, we're divorced."
"I'm sorry, man," Roger managed to say, laughing too.
"To Benny and Maureen," Mimi declared, raising her glass to the sky before everyone at the table was into what we had been talking about. Everybody raised their glasses.
"To babies," Mark yelled.
"To anarchy," Collins shouted.
"To weddings," I yelled. Everybody stopped and stared at us.
I just realized we hadn't told anybody we were engaged yet.
"You two are engaged," Collins shouted, as he grabbed my hand, and saw my ring. "That's fantastic," he exclaimed, grabbing Mark off the floor in a bear hug, before hugging me.
"Have you two set a date yet?" Mimi wanted to know.
"We thought we'd tell you guys first."
"To Joanne and Mark," Maureen slurred, raising her glass.
"To couples everywhere," Roger toasted.
"To happiness everywhere," Mimi shouted.
"To prosperity everywhere," Benny toasted.
"To music everywhere," Roger yelled.
"To films, lots and lots of films," Mark announced, standing on his chair.
"To conquering disease," Collins roared.
"To us," I shouted.
"To more wine and beer. Waiter!" Roger called.
Once a brilliant songwriter asked how you measure a year in a life. This year my life was measured in trimesters. I was entering my second with the conviction that it had to get better. All the books said it. Morning sickness was supposed to stop, which it was, and for that I was thankful. It was replaced by an oversensitivity to smell. When the carpets in my office were cleaned, the scent of the shampoo they used made me so ill that for the next two days I worked from my home office.
On top of everything else, there was the wedding to plan. We had talked about eloping at the courthouse, but it would have broken Mark's mother's heart. She was set on her son having a traditional Jewish ceremony, with all the trappings. Which is why we were doing a massive planning session at my apartment.
"I wish we had more time to plan this," I muttered for the umpteenth time.
"Well, do you want to wait until after the baby comes?" he asked.
"No."
I had found a cream colored wedding dress that worked wonderfully at concealing my stomach, I would also be carrying a huge boquet. It wasn't that I was ashamed of my pregnancy. We just didn't feel it appropriate to put it on display at our wedding.
Mark asked Roger, Collins and Benny to be his best men. Benny was fast becoming part of the group again now that he was dating Maureen. So I had to come up with one maid of honor and two bridesmaids. The first two were no problem. I asked Mark's sister to be my maid of honor, and mimi to be one of my bridesmaids. There was only one choice I had for a third.
Maureen.
I asked her, fully expecting her to say no. In true Maureen fashion, she said yes, and I was glad I had her help. One thing I had forgotten was that she was a speedy shopper. She was the one that had found my dress, and went on to find absoltely stunning bridesmaid, and maid of honor dresses. All in the same deep toned wine color, and all within an hour.
Now we just had to plan the rest of it. Mark and I were deciding on cake when I felt a flutter in my stomach. I dropped the magazine I was holding. Mark was busy writing out instructions on how to operate his camera. He was actually going to entrust it to Roger for filming.
"The baby moved," I said, putting a hand on my stomach. I felt it again, but couldn't feel it on the outside.
"Moved where?" he asked absentmindedly.
"No, Mark," I said nudging his arm. "The baby moved."
"Oh, really? Can I feel it?" he asked eagerly as he put a hand on my stomach.
"I don't know if you can feel it on the outside yet," I said.
"I'm not feeling anything," he frowned.
"Don't worry. We have months and months more to go," I sighed.
"I still can't believe you're voluntarily letting someone else handle your camera," I said, leafing through caterer's menus.
"It's being duct taped to his hand," Mark insisted.
"You know Roger wouldn't do anything to screw up your camera," I said massaging his shoulders. "Except maybe drop it," I cracked.
"That's not funny," he protested, looking at me with a gleam in his eye. He started to tickle me. The wedding plans were forgotten for awhile.
Mark went home that night. After he left, I looked at the calendar. We had only met back in October, and here we were in late January, preparing to commit for the rest of our lives. I fought down a wave of panic. This is not me. What happened to level headedness, and calm? I couldn't possibly be jumping into a lifetime commitment after only a period of five months?
What about the baby?
The baby needed two parents, but would how would it's parents do being married. Everything had been calm so far. We'd never even had a major fight. What if we had a conflict so big we couldn't get past it?
I didn't know how to be married. Heck, I was still learning that I was bi, and not full blown lesbian.
It wasn't good for a person to make such life rattling decisions in such a short amount of time, was it?
'The commitment thing wasn't such a great idea for you last time was it?' a voice whispered in my head. I started to pace back and forth across my living room.
"Mark is not Maureen. He's levelheaded and calm, just like me. He proposed to me. He wants me. Do I want him? Of course I do" I talked it out to myself.