The next day was Saturday. Why was my clock buzzing at 5:00 a.m. My heart froze as I realized that it wasn't my clock. It was my phone.

"Hello?" I answered groggily. My hand was shaking. No good news comes at 5 a.m.

"Joanne, it's Maureen."

"Maureen, what's wrong?" I hadn't heard her sound that panicky since we found Mimi in the park.

"Collins. He's really sick. Mark and Roger found him passed out on the floor."

"Is he okay?"

"I don't know. He's at City Memorial right now. We're waiting for the doctor."

"Where are you guys at? I'm coming right down."

"The emergency wing."

'Don't die,' I kept silently pleading, while bracing myself for the worst. The scene when I got there was devastatingly familiar. The same people were gathered around the same bed, except now Collins was the patient. The only difference was the question of whether or not he'd come home.

The morning was measured in cups of coffee, how many tests were run, which doctors and nurses were coming to check on him, and when they arrived. It was an interminable wait. Finally the doctor asked us to leave the room while he spoke with Collins first.

To my dismay, Mark continued to be distant. He was hurt, and I felt pain all over again every time I saw it in his eyes. He was turning to Roger - and Maureen. I should have been in Maureen's place, putting my arm around him, rubbing his back.Why shouldn't he want Maureen anyway? Wait, Maureen was with Benny, who was sitting on the other side of her. My mind was too confused. I just wanted to go home knowing Collins was okay, and would pull through.

The door to his room opened again. Automatically all eyes turned to the doctor.

"Friends of Collins?" he asked.

"Yes," Mimi said.

"You can go back in," the doctor said. I tired to read his expression. There was maybe a hint of a smile in his poker expression, but whether it was from sympathy or good news I couldn't tell.

Collins was sitting up, smiling, when we came in.

"Well?" Roger demanded.

"They changed my AZT. As a result, I had high blood pressure. They readjusted it so I should be fine in a couple of days."

I hugged Collins as tightly as I could. "I'm so glad you're going to be okay," I cried.

"Hey baby girl. It's okay. Don't get too upset now."

"I'm not. I'm happy you're okay," I said trying to calm down.

One by one, everyone left, until it was just Collins and I. I was going to leave, but he kept asking me to stay.

"Do you need more ice?" I asked, after Mark had left. It was just the two of us now.

He shook his head

"You and Mark need to get back together," he said.

"Collins, I screwed up so badly. I didn't want to break up with Mark. I just didn't know if I wanted to get married."

"Do you know now?"

"If I could do it over again, I wouldn't have broken it off."

"Do you still love him?"

"Of course I do. I just don't know if he still loves me."

"He does. He was really upset last night."

"Oh, and it's easy for me. I thought I was doing the right thing. Too bad I was doing it out of my backside. I had the jitters, plain and simple."

"A case of nerves is a poor excuse for a lifetime of regret."

"What are you talking about?"

"Joann, it's me, Collins. You still love him, don't you?"

"More then anything. If he asked me again, I'd marry him in a second."

I turned around to sit on a chair and saw Mark's camera. Then I turned to the doorway where he stood.

"You heard?" I asked.

"Every word."

"Excuse us," he said to Collins, and led me out of his room. We walked in silence until we reached the hospital garden. It was beautiful, but more importantly, there was also no one else around.

"What was that about in there?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Last night I heard you didn't want to marry me. Then I hear you telling Collins you do. I feel like I need to have my camera just to keep up."

"I want to be with you."

"That's what I thought two days ago, but last night you said you didn't."

"Mark I got scared. I want lifetime guarantees. My parents have only been married to each other, and I want that too,"

"What if I were to tell you divorce isn't an option?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm never going to get divorced once I get married. So if you want me, you're going to have me forever."

"I want you forever."

We were sitting on a stone bench in the middle of the garden. He got down on one knee and pulled a small jewelry box out of his pocket

"Joanne, will you marry me - again?" he asked.

"Of course I will," I exclaimed happily as he slid the ring back on my finger.

We stayed there for awhile, basking in the moment and each other.

"You know, " I said, "I like this proposal a lot better."

"Me too," he laughed.