Much
Marian was always going on about everything being a choice. God, did I ever get tired of that when we were younger. I had, until recently, believed in fate. But then we ended up in the forest, and I began to wonder. Was it fate that we ended up outlaws? Or was it the result of a choice?
What if Robin and I had not saved Will, Allan, Luke, and Benedict? We would be living at Locksley and Bonchurch, next to warn fires and under dry roofs. But Robin's conscience, for one, would be aching, for letting four people die like that, for such a slight crime. And mine would be aching, too, for not persuading my master to save those poor people. Altogether a good decision, right? I asked myself. Of course right.
What if the others hadn't come to Nottingham and helped me get into the castle when Robin had turned himself in? That was an easy answer to reach- he'd be dead.
What if we'd been able to reach Tom A'Dale before he was hanged, and had rescued him and his friends? Well, I mused darkly, while Allan and Gwen in the same place amounts to some laughter and fun, I don't think the forest could hold all three of them together again.
What if we hadn't taken Gwen under our wing? What if she'd left before we had the chance to accept her into our tight band? Things wouldn't have been that different, would they? I knew, of course, that was the wrong answer. Allan would have gone on believing that his whole family was dead; and as much as Allan annoyed me, I didn't want him feeling that pain. Djaq might have burst, keeping so many thoughts inside her own head, unable to share them with another woman, someone who'd understand. And Will? That was a difficult one to picture. He might have kept on trying with Djaq, tried to sway her in his favor rather than Allan's. And he'd probably have lost the battle.
What if Allan could have kept his temper to himself, and not been so childish? Gwen wouldn't have left, of course. She'd still be making us laugh, making us want to pull our hair out in frustration, and making Allan look ridiculous. She'd probably have fallen for Will and made yet another happy couple within our band. She might have become our most important strategist next to Robin. A whole multitude of things might have happened. But because of one choice, Allan's choice, she wasn't still making us laugh, and wasn't making us tear our hair out. She wouldn't fall for Will, since she wasn't here at all. She wasn't the most important strategist below Robin. All because of Allan.
I sat, staring into the fire gloomily, and listening to the deep, even breathing of Robin, John, and Djaq. Allan was taking a walk, something he seemed to do more often that he did before. I didn't bother to look for Will; he was undoubtedly sitting in the dark corners of the cave, cold inside and out. I sighed. What a melancholy mood that had settled on this cave. I prayed that it would soon lift.