Djaq
I lay awake late one night, staring at the dark ceiling of the cave. I hated falling asleep last. It meant I was the only person whose mind wasn't shut off, and I hated the feeling of loneliness that knowledge brought. The silence left me desperate to find something to occupy my thoughts, just to fill the silence pressing in on my head.
Just as I was dozing off, my father's voice echoed in my head as I remembered my homeland. "Chose properly, and you will never know regret." My father, I reflected, lived, slept, ate, and breathed such sayings. But he believed blindly in the value of choices. But what if I had made different ones in the course of my life?
What if I hadn't decided to go to war and fight the Christians? I would never have been taken as a slave. That would have been a definite plus. To never be beaten, to never have been taken from my homeland, my people, my life... that would have been good. But that would mean I'd never have met Robin, Much, John, Will, and Allan. I couldn't exactly say what my life would be like if I'd never met them. Since I presently knew them, to imagine life without them was next to impossible.
What if I had not warmed up to Gwen? Ouch. I had told her so many things in the course of knowing her. Things I'd never told the boys, for fear of being laughed at and ridiculed. I wished, prayed, for Gwen to return. And not just for my own sake. Allan was slightly off. Not apparently, but I could tell, by very slight mannerisms he'd never used, such as a clenched jaw here and there, or a very tight fist now and again when anything like the words 'sister', 'family', or 'gone' were mentioned. And Will... the poor boy was brooding. I felt pity for him, and begged God to give him a chance to smile now and again. But until Gwen returned, I feared that chance was awfully slim. For all of us.