Brooke walked into the gym after school.
"Hey Pretty Girl!" Lucas called from the other side of the gym.
Brooke sat down on the bleachers and Lucas ran over to her.
"Hey you," He said placing a kiss on her lips. "How was your off campus-ness with Peyton?"
Brooke shrugged.
"You okay, you seem a little out of it?"
"I'm okay,"
"You sure? I'll go get my stuff and we can go,"
"No, Luke, practice, I'm fine,"
"Okay," Lucas said and kissed Brooke's forehead.
Brooke's cell phone started vibrating and she jumped startled.
"Hello," Brooke said hitting the answer button.
"Hey Buddy,"
"Hi Haley,"
"Um, have you heard from Peyton? We were supposed to hook up tonight to study French…"
"Um, I think she's at her house, but her cell's probably off,"
"Okay, thanks,"
"Have fun" Brooke told her.
"Thanks," Haley laughed.
"Yep, bye,"
"Bye,"
Brooke closed her phone and then closed her eyes.
"Hey Pretty Girl," Lucas whispered moving some hair out of Brooke's face.
Brooke's eyes fluttered open.
"Tired?" Lucas laughed.
Brooke nodded.
"Come on, I'll drive you home,"
"K," Brooke said and stood up.
Lucas wrapped his arm around her as she laid her head on his shoulder.
"So where'd you two go to today?" Lucas asked in the car.
Brooke felt her heart stop beating for a second. "Um…" She said groggily.
Lucas glanced at her. "Go to sleep Pretty Girl, I'll wake you up when we get to your house,"
Brooke nodded and fell right to sleep.
When Lucas pulled into Brooke's house she was still sound asleep and he didn't want to wake her so he carefully picked her up and carried her to her room.
"Luke?" She whispered as she laid in bed, her eyes still closed.
"Yeah baby?"
"Stay with me?"
"Yeah," He said gently rubbing her head.
"K, thank you," Brooke whispered and again fell asleep.
Lucas moved to Brooke's desk and did his homework looking over at her constantly, making sure she was okay.
A few hours after they got to Brooke's house, her phone began ringing. Lucas quickly grabbed it and hit ignore, not recognizing the number. As soon as the vibrating ended, Lucas checked to see if Brooke was still asleep, she was. Before Lucas could look back at his homework, Brooke's phone was going off again, the same unrecognized number.
Brooke began to move around in her bed.
Lucas quickly picked up the phone and hit answer. "Hello," He said quietly.
"Is Brooke Davis there please?"
"She is, but she's asleep right now, I'll tell her you called when she wakes up,"
"Okay, she was expecting a call from us, just tell her that we have her test results back and we'd like her to come back down here tomorrow, same time as today if possible,"
Lucas sat there puzzled. "Oh, um… yeah, no I'll let her know,"
"Thank you,"
"Yeah, bye," Lucas said and closed the phone. He looked at his sleeping girlfriend. "Test results," He whispered to himself. He eyes darted right to her stomach. 'Was she pregnant?' He thought. He debated waking her up, but figured it would be best if he just let her sleep, he'd talk to her when she woke up.
About 7 that night Brooke began stirring around immediately catching Lucas' attention. He walked over to her bed and sat down next to her rubbing her back.
Brooke's eyes slowly opened.
"Hey Pretty Girl," Lucas said softly.
"Hi boyfriend," She replied just as softly.
"You feel better?"
Brooke nodded.
"Good," Lucas said and placed a kiss on her lips.
"Mmm," She groaned. "I need to brush my teeth," She said and got out of bed and went into her bathroom.
"So, where'd you go today?" Lucas asked.
Brooke was caught off guard but picked up right away. "I told you… Peyt and I went shopping," she said with her toothbrush in her mouth.
"Yeah?"
Brooke stuck her head out of the bathroom. "Yeah,"
"Okay…"
"What'd you do while I slept?" Brooke asked, needing to change the subject.
"Homework,"
"Aww, you're so smart, so when are you doing mine?"
Lucas laughed a little. "So your phone rang while you were sleeping,"
"Who was it?"
"I don't know, I didn't answer but they called right back so I picked up so it didn't wake you up. They said they your test results are in and they'd like you to come in tomorrow the same time you did today…" Lucas said.
Brooke walked out of the bathroom.
"What's going on Brooke?"
"Luke…"
"Just tell me Brooke, don't try and lie your way through it… just tell me," Lucas almost begged.
"There's nothing to tell Lucas," Brooke lied.
"Then what test results do they have Brooke?"
Brooke sighed.
"That's what I thought - -"
"What? What'd you think Lucas?!" Brooke yelled.
"That you wouldn't tell me!" Lucas yelled back. "But that means it's serious," He said calmly.
"No it doesn't Luke, I swear,"
"Then tell me Brooke,"
"… I can't…"
Lucas sighed and got off Brooke's bed and walked to the door.
"Luke don't," Brooke begged.
"Until you can tell me the truth… I'm - -"
"Lucas! There's noting to tell, it's probably nothing!"
"I've gotta go,"
"Luke," Brooke cried softly.
He looked over at her.
She looked up at him, tears in her eyes.
Lucas's heart broke; he hated seeing Brooke like this.
"I'm scared," She whispered.
"Damn it Brooke," Lucas cursed bringing her into his arms.
"I'm sorry," She cried.
"What is it?"
Brooke looked up at him.
Lucas sat in his bedroom the next day waiting for Brooke to call. She had left before lunch and told Lucas she would call him after her appointment but insisted she go alone.
Lucas jumped when he heard his door open.
Brooke slowly walked in.
Lucas wrapped her in a supporting hug.
Brooke broke down in his arms.
Lucas couldn't let her go, he knew that is he did she would fall to the ground. "It's gonna be okay Pretty Girl,"
Brooke wanted to believe him, she wanted to say 'I believe you' and mean it… but she couldn't, every bone in her body was telling her it wasn't going to be okay and she was scared.
Lucas led Brooke to his bed and the two sat down.
Brooke breathed heavily trying to catch her breath. "I didn't want you to see me like this…"
"Brooke, I don't care what you think you need to hide from me, if you're upset, or you need me…"
"I don't let people see me cry," She said trying to compose herself.
"I don't mind Brooke," Lucas said trying to convince her it was the truth. "Does Peyton know?"
Brooke shook her head. "I couldn't tell her, it'll kill her Luke," She said getting upset again.
Lucas nodded. "Okay, calm down," He said soothingly. "So what are we gonna do?"
"Can we just lat here for a while, I'm too exhausted to think right now…" Brooke asked.
"Yeah," Lucas agreed and laid down with Brooke wrapped in his arms.
Brooke quickly drifted to sleep but Lucas couldn't, he had too much on his mind. He laid there for a good hour just staring at his girlfriend sleep peacefully. The rhythm of Brooke's slowly breathing in and out against Lucas' body eventually took it's toll on him and he too fell asleep.
Lucas opened his eyes and for a second his heart stopped beating when he saw that Brooke wasn't lying next to him. 'Was it all a dream?' he thought but quickly threw out that thought knowing it was real because his heart ached too much for it to have just been a dream. "Brooke?" He called walking around. He walked into the kitchen and laughed slightly. "What are you doing Pretty Girl?"
"Fixing you dinner,"
"Oh yeah?" Lucas asked wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Mu-huh, okay well kinda, it's easy mac, but dinner none the less,"
"Someone's been hanging out with Haley too much…"
"No, it was just the only ready to make thing in this house,"
"Again, thanks to Haley,"
"Whatever, come sit down with me," Brooke said grabbing her bowl and walking to the living room.
Lucas did as he was told and followed her.
Brooke sat Indian style on the recliner, her bowl in her lap. "Okay," She said once Lucas sat down. "I've got a joke for you,"
Lucas looked at her.
"I'm gonna have two sons, okay? One's name will be 'Jose' and the other's 'Jos-B'" Brooke said and started cracking up. She looked at Lucas who was not laughing. "It's a joke Luke, funny,"
Lucas shrugged. "I'm sorry,"
"No you're not, what's up?"
"How can you be like this?"
"Like what?" Brooke asked.
"This! Like nothing happened today! Like everything is okay!" Lucas yelled aggregated.
"How else am I supposed to act?"
"I don't know, like you're somehow affected by it?"
"Lucas," Brooke said seriously. "I'm sorry, I can't be upset, I don't do that,"
"You did when you came over,"
She sighed. "Yes, but not again, Luke you don't understand, I wasn't planning on telling you any of this, okay? I didn't want you to freak out, I can handle it,"
"How?" Lucas asked.
Brooke sighed frustrated. "I don't know right now,"
"Wait, are you gonna do - -"
"I don't know Luke! I don't know, okay?" Brooke barked. "I think I need to go…" She whispered standing up.
"Wait! Brooke, don't,"
"Lucas, please… I'll see you tomorrow at school, okay?"
Lucas just stood there and watched her leave, he wanted to be with her right now and she was pushing him away.
"Hello P. Sawyer," Brooke said walking up to her friend the next morning.
"Hey, I didn't hear from you last night,"
"Oh, yeah, I crashed early,"
Peyton nodded.
"Sorry," Brooke added.
"It's no big deal,"
"K,"
"So, where'd you go yesterday?"
"Oh… I felt a little sick, but I'm good now,"
Peyton nodded. "You heard from the doctor yet?"
"Um… no," Brooke lied, then her phone started ringing.
"Good sign or bad?" Peyton asked.
Brooke looked at the caller ID. "Bad," She joked. "Hello," She said holding one finger up to Peyton and stepped away.
"Where are you?"
"At school…" Brooke said like it was obvious.
"Thank you smart ass, where, I've been looking for you,"
Brooke stood on her tip-toes. "I see you," She giggled.
"Where are you Davis?"
"Find me Scott," She teased. "If you do a 360, you'll find me,"
"Brooke, a 360 is a full circle,"
"And…"
"You're right in front of me?"
"Nope, behind you," Brooke laughed and snapped her phone shut and tapped him on the shoulder. "Good morning,"
Lucas wrapped his arms around her. "Good morning,"
"Are you mad at me?" Brooke asked.
Lucas sighed. "No,"
"You promise?"
Lucas paused. "Yes,"
"Not convincing Scott,"
"I'm sorry,"
"Okay, don't say anything to Peyton, I told her I haven't heard back from my first Doctor's appointment…"
"Brooke," Lucas said shocked.
"What? No, you didn't see her in the hallway Lucas, it was bad,"
"I trust you,"
"Do you?"
"I'm gonna have to,"
Brooke took a deep breath. "Okay, thank you,"
Lucas kissed her forehead. "Let's go Pretty Girl,"
Brooke laid her head on his shoulder and they walked over towards their friends.
"Okay guys, on three, one, two, three!" Brooke yelled at her cheer squad. She shook her head. "No guys, that's wrong, watch," She said and started to show the squad what they were to be doing. Not half way through it the room began to spin slightly and Brooke closed her eyes to try and stop it, but failed causing her to stumble more than slightly. "Um…" she said, her eyes still closed, "Do it like that, but… actually, go, we'll end early today, okay?" She said and walked over to the bleachers as the rest of the girls headed to the locked rooms.
"Hey, you okay?" Peyton asked sitting down next to her.
"Oh… yeah, I just… I haven't eaten today or something,"
"You sure?" Peyton asked.
"Yeah, I just needed some water," Brooke said and took a drink. "See, I'm fine," She said and stood up but quickly collapsed to the floor.
"Lucas!!" Peyton yelled panicked across the gym.
Lucas looked over at Peyton and darted over to the two girls. "Peyton, what happened?"
"I don't know, she was stumbling a minute ago, bus she said she just needed some water or something, then she stood up for like half a second."
"Okay, go get your phone," Lucas instructed.
Peyton hurried to her bag to retrieve her phone.
"Damn it Brooke…" Lucas sighed.
Brooke started to move around trying to get comfortable. She slowly opened her eyes. "What the hell" She whispered not being in a place she recognized.
"Hey Pretty Girl," Lucas said walking over to her. "How you feeling?" he asked kissing her forehead.
"What happened?"
"You passed out at practice, you scared everybody,"
"I'm sorry,"
Lucas nodded. "Don't worry about it,"
"Luke…"
"Yeah?"
"Does everybody know now?"
"…no…" He said hesitantly.
"Peyton…"
Lucas nodded.
"Damn it," Brooke said beginning to cry. "She wasn't supposed to find out,"
Lucas pulled her close to him. "Shh, Brooke,"
"Luke, you don't understand. Ellie, Peyton's real mom, she had cancer,"
Lucas nodded. "I know,"
"And she did chemo, that killed her Lucas and it killed Peyton to see her go through it,"
Lucas listened to Brooke carefully.
"I don't wanna do that Luke… I can't,"
Lucas' eyes grew. "No, Brooke - -"
"Lucas, look where I am… in a hospital! I hate this place and I don't want to spend anymore time in here, okay?"
"No,"
"Lucas, you can't change my mind…"
"Damn it Brooke! You can't do that!"
"Yes I can,"
"Brooke," Lucas said, his voice cracking. "I need you here with me,"
"Me during chemo wouldn't be like me being here Lucas,"
"But you'd be here, you'd be here after,"
"Not for certain, Ellie isn't,"
"But - -"
"I'm sorry Lucas,"
"You're just gonna let this thing win? Let it beat you?"
Brooke looked up at Lucas, her eyes filled with tears. "I love you," She told him.
"I love you," Brooke whispered weakly.
"Stop it," Lucas said, tears pouring down his face.
Brooke took a deep breath. "Lucas…"
"No, you can't do this to me Brooke,"
"Luke, you knew this was gonna happen,"
"Not yet, it wasn't supposed to happen yet Brooke, not this soon,"
Brooke squeezed Lucas' hand. "Don't leave me," She whispered.
Lucas nodded and kissed her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere," He assured her.
Brooke nodded slowly and her eyes fluttered closed. "K," She whispered in the process.
Barely 5 months ago things went way down hill.
I
Peyton walked into Brooke's room trying to be quiet. She looked at Lucas who was keeping a close watch on his sleeping girlfriend.
"hey," Lucas said noticing Peyton.
Peyton nodded, having being able to talk.
Lucas wrapped Peyton in a hug. "She's gonna be okay Peyton,"
Peyton again nodded.
"I'll leave you alone with her,"
"Thanks," Peyton whispered.
Lucas went back to Brooke and placed a kiss on her forehead then left the two girls.
Peyton sat down next to Brooke and exhaled shakily.
"And you wonder why you and Lucas didn't work out…" Brooke said her eyes still closed.
Peyton looked down at her friend.
Brooke opened her eyes. "Too much brooding," She told Peyton. "Hey buddy," She smiled slightly.
Peyton clenched her teeth to keep her chin from quivering.
"I think… you were the one that told me it was okay to be upset," Brooke reminded Peyton.
"Are you going to be okay?"
Brooke looked down. "Peyton…"
Peyton's breath was caught in her throat.
Brooke's eyes darted back up to Peyton. "I'm not doing chemo…" She whispered.
"What… Brooke, no you - -" Peyton said breaking down.
"Peyton," Brooke interrupted. "I'm not doing it. You and I both saw Ellie go through that, I can't."
"Yes you can Brooke,"
"I won't,"
End I
Lucas sat in Brooke's bed, her wrapped in his arms. "Do you regret it?" He whispered.
Brooke looked up at him. "What?" She asked simply.
"Not doing chemo, do you wish you would have?"
Brooke fiddled with Lucas' hands that were wrapped around her. "Do you?" She asked.
"I don't know, I want more time with you, I know that, but I don't know if I could have watched you suffer through that with the thought of it not working being in the back of all of our minds, ya know?"
Brooke nodded.
I
"Brooke, please, please think about it," Lucas said driving Brooke home from the hospital.
"Lucas, I have thought about it, and I can't do it, I can't go through this and it maybe not work, do you get that?" Brooke asked.
Lucas nodded slowly. "I can't lose you Pretty Girl," He whispered cupping the side of Brooke's face.
A tear slid down Brooke's cheek. "You know you're gonna have to," She finally got out, looking up at him gently.
Lucas closed his eyes, tears streaming down his face.
End I
Lucas' heart broke over and over as that memory distracted him from the real world.
"Hey," Brooke whispered as Haley walked into the room, finally snapping Lucas out of the flashback he wished he never had.
"How you doing?" Haley asked walking over to Brooke.
Brooke shook her head. "Haley, you don't have to… you don't have to act strong, we both know… I'm not okay,"
Haley bit her lip and she nodded.
"Luke, will you…" Brooke whispered.
"Oh yea," Lucas said and carefully got out of the small bed. "Don't go anywhere?"
"I promise," Brooke assured him.
Lucas kissed her fore head and smiled slightly at Haley as she headed out.
Haley stayed a few feet away from the bed that her friend was laying in and stared at the ground.
"Haley," Brooke whispered.
I
"Where's your husband?" Brooke asked.
"Practice,"
"Luke said it was cancelled."
"Nope,"
Brooke rolled her eyes.
"Don't be mad at him,"
"Haley, he needs to be at practice,"
"But he wants to be with you,"
Brooke shook her head. "This time next year, I won't be here, basketball will, he needs to keep up with the thing he loves,"
"And that's you, if you're not going to be here this time next year, why wouldn't her want to be with you?"
"To get de-attached,"
"He'll never get de-attached from you Brooke,"
"He needs to," Brooke said breaking down slightly.
"He needs you" Haley corrected.
End I
"I'm not gonna bite," Brooke told Haley.
"Huh, what? Eh… yeah, no, I just got distracted," Haley said trying not to erase the memory of the strongest person she knew becoming weak.
Brooke nodded.
"So what happened Brooke? Why are you back in here?" Haley asked getting upset.
"I passed out again…"
I
"Brooke!" Lucas said walking into her house.
Brooke's eyes fluttered open, she could hear Lucas coming up the stairs.
"Brooke," He whispered opening her door.
"I'm up," She told him.
"How you feeling?"
"I'm scared to go to sleep at night because I'm afraid I won't wake up the next morning, then when I do, I'm scared that… that was my last nights sleep," Brooke admitted.
"Oh Pretty Girl," Lucas said wiping away some of Brooke's tears.
Brooke sniffled and sat up, she immediately knew something wasn't right. "Um… I think… I'm gonna go take a shower,"
"Okay," Lucas said getting out of the way.
Brooke stood up slowly.
It killed Lucas to watch her, even though she hadn't done the chemo, Brooke had lost weight, color and so much of her energy.
"Lucas," Brooke said, panic obvious in her voice. "I think I need… hospi - -" she tried to get out but collapsed on the floor.
End I
"Brooke," Haley said tears streaming down her face.
"Haley, please, don't' worry about me. You focus on being Naley with your husband, okay?"
Haley sniffled and nodded. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.
Brooke noticed how shaky her hands were. "Haley," She whispered placing her hand on Haley's.
More tears streamed down Haley's face at Brooke's touch.
"Hales…"
"Yeah?"
"Will you get Luke?"
"Are you okay?" Haley asked worried.
"I'm just tired… I want him here,"
Haley nodded and gave Brooke a hug. "I love you Tigger,"
Brooke laughed slightly. "I love you too Tutor-wife, tell Boytoy I love him too,"
Haley nodded, more tears falling.
"Don't worry about me Haley,"
"Okay," Haley said walking to the door. "Bye," She whispered.
Brooke nodded.
A minute later Lucas walked back into Brooke's room. "Hey Pretty Girl,"
Brooke opened her eyes and smiled slightly.
"You okay?"
"You're not supposed to ask me that,"
I
Lucas walked into Brooke's bedroom. "Hey Pretty Girl," He said his usual greeting.
Brooke ½ smiled.
"What's wrong?"
"I wanna go back to school," She whined.
"Wow, you really are sick, you want to go back to school?"
"Yes, I miss my friends, my homeroom, my squad," She said, tears running down her face.
"Come here," Lucas said and wrapped her in his arms. He brushed some hair out of her face. "Baby, you're burning up,"
Brooke nodded. "I know," She whispered.
"You okay?" Lucas asked worried.
"No Luke… I'm dieing, we both know that!" Brooke said breaking down.
"Okay, I'm sorry,"
Brooke laid back still wrapped in Lucas' arms. "Don't ask me that anymore, okay?"
"Ask you what?"
"If I am okay…"
"Why?" Lucas asked.
"Because I'm never going to be okay again, and it kills me to have to tell you that everyday and to see your expression when I do,"
Lucas kissed Brooke's temple. "I love you so much Pretty Girl,"
Brooke nodded, a new batch of tears beginning to overwhelm her body.
Lucas just held her tighter.
"I think I'm tired," She whispered.
"Okay,"
"Promise you'll be here when I wake up?"
"Promise you'll wake up?" Lucas asked seriously.
"If I have anything to do with it," Brooke said curling into him.
End I
"I think… I'm…" Brooke said breathing heavily.
"Tired?" Lucas asked.
Brooke nodded. "Promise… you'll be here… when I wake up?"
Tears fell freely from Lucas' eyes. "Promise you'll wake up?" He barely got out.
"Don't be upset Luke…"
Lucas nodded, knowing he was lying. "I love you Pretty Girl," he whispered.
"I love you too Broody. You'll do me a favor?"
"Anything,"
"My ipod… will you get it?"
Lucas nodded and reached over to the table and handed Brooke her ipod.
Brooke clicked to the song she wanted and hit play. "Go to sleep Luke… I'll see you in the morning," She whispered.
Lucas didn't want to go to sleep, he wanted to watch Brooke as long as he could, but eventually his constant tears too their toll on him and her fell asleep.
Brooke looked down at him and took her ipod off, wrapping the earphones around the player, after making sure it was set on the right song. "I love you too Broody," She repeated in a whisper.
Lucas woke up early the next morning, Brooke's semi-warm hand he had been holding was cold. His heart stopped he was sure. "Brooke…" he whispered.
Brooke's left hand was laying lifelessly next to her, she had been holding her i-pod only a short few hours ago in that hand.
"Brooke," Lucas cried, needing her to wake up.
Lucas sat next to Brooke's now empty bed, his head in his hand, tears streaming down his face. Something caught his eye as he continued to let the tears fall. 'Her i-pod' he thought. He picked up the pink mini i-pod, pink earphones plugged in and wrapped around it perfectly, something Brooke never did.
Lucas' hands shook as he undid the earphones and put them in and hit play.
If I'm gone when you wake up, please don't cry.
Tears cascaded down Lucas' face.
And if I'm gone when you wake up, it's not goodbye.
"She knew," Lucas whispered to himself.
Don't look back at this time
As a time of heartbreak and distress,
I
"Plus side of me not going to school," Brooke said sitting Indian style on her bed.
"And what's that?" Lucas asked, smiling because obviously Brooke was feeling okay today.
"You come home and see me everyday, and guess what we do next?"
"Make out?" Lucas asked.
"Tempting, but no!" Brooke said clicking the TV on.
"Oh Brooke," Lucas whined.
"Shut up," Brooke said and hit him with a pillow. "One chick flick won't kill you,"
"Yes, but when have you ever watched only one chick flick?"
"True… sucks to be you," Brooke smiled and snuggled into Lucas' chest as the first movie started.
End I
Remember me, remember me
'Cause I'm with you in your dreams.
Oh I'll be with you, oh,
Lucas walked out the door just as Haley was coming in.
"Lucas," Haley said, her eyes swelling up.
"She's just…" Lucas cried.
Haley pulled her best friend into her and let him break down.
But if I'm gone when you wake up,
"I fell asleep," Lucas said, obviously upset with himself.
Please don't cry.
"Lucas, it's not your fault," Haley tried.
And if I'm gone when you wake up,
"But if I hadn't, Haley I could have done something," He said more upset than Haley had ever seen him.
Don't ask why
Haley looked into Lucas' broken eyes and saw the one question everyone was dying to ask.
"Why," He finally blurted out. "Why her? Why now?!"
Don't look back at this time,
As a time of heartbreak and distress,
"Did you tell her you loved her?"
Lucas nodded.
Remember me, remember me,
I
"I love you Brooke," Lucas told her.
She looked up at him from her position on her couch, her head resting in his lap. "I love you too Luke,"
"G'night Cheery, I love you," Lucas said kissing her forehead.
Brooke smiled sweetly. "Night Broody, I love you too,"
Brooke slowly opened her eyes, Lucas was laying right beside her in her bed at the hospital. "I love you," She whispered.
"I love you too Pretty Girl," Lucas said back and gently placed a kiss on her lips.
End I
'Cause I'll be with you in your dreams
"Hales," Lucas cried. "… I miss her,"
Haley's heart broke over and over again. Her best friend was falling apart and there was nothing she could do to help him.
Oh, oh
Lucas left the hospital later that morning. He needed to tell Peyton, Haley asked if he wanted her to do it, but Luke knew he had to.
Don't cry, I'm by your side.
Lucas put his car in park and slowly got out. He took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.
A few moments later the door opened.
Lucas looked up.
Don't cry, I'm with you.
Peyton's eyes filled with tears immediately. "No," she whimpered.
"I'm sorry Peyton," Lucas whispered, his voice breaking a little.
Don't cry, I'm by your side
Peyton collapsed into Lucas' arms. "Lucas,"
Lucas had no idea what to say, he felt just the same as she did right now and had no way of consoling her.
Lucas walked into Brooke's house, chills ran up and down his body.
And though my flesh is gone, whoa
He slowly opened her bedroom door. He closed his eyes as the smell that he had become used to caught him off guard. His chin began quivering as a tear ran down his face.
I'll still be with you at all times
He opened his eyes and stared at the lamp that Brooke had left on. He looked down and saw a picture of the two of them in a frame he had just got Brooke a few weeks ago.
And though my body's gone, whoa
Lucas' eyes quickly moved to the big bed that still looked as if Brooke had rolled out of it only minutes ago.
He walked slowly to the bed, feeling the tears burning in his eyes.
I'll be there to comfort you, at all times
Lucas let himself break down, he hadn't really done it yet, not wanting to break completely down in front of Haley and feeling the need to be strong for Peyton.
His head buried in his hands, elbows on the bed, knees on the floor, Lucas let the emotions he fear the most overcome him. As he inhaled, again a smell he was oh-so used to, Brooke's shampoo, filled his nose and for a split second, he thought she was right there with him, comforting him as he broke down.
Oh, oh
I
Brooke pounced on her bed. "Smell!" She said excitedly waving her wet hair in Lucas' face.
"Brooke," He protested.
"Broody, come on, put your damn book down and smell my hair," She half joked.
Lucas rolled his eyes and smelt her hair. "Nice," He said.
"Ugh!" Brooke groaned. "It's not just nice Luke, it's amazing!" She said attempting to smell her own hair. "You know, some day I may not be around anymore for you to smell my hair and you'll miss it," She said so sure of herself.
"Right… like you will never be around" Lucas said sarcastically. "Seems like you tend to show up every time I try and read a book…" Lucas said, hinting that he wanted to read.
Brooke sighed. "Fine," She said and plopped back on her bed. "You know… you're a boring boyfriend,"
Lucas looked at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Uh-huh," Brooke nodded.
Lucas looked back at his book, pretending to start reading again.
Brooke rolled her eyes. "See, boring!"
Lucas quickly closed his book and began tickling her. "Boring?" He asked.
"No! Luke, no, you're not!!" Brooke laughed.
"You want me to stop?" He asked.
Brooke nodded. "Please," She begged.
"What would a boring person say…"
"You're not boring Luke!" She laughed. "Please,"
"Fine," Lucas said giving in.
Brooke looked up at him attempting to catch her breath. "God, I love you," She said running her hand gently over his face.
Lucas kissed her forehead. "I love you too," He whispered.
End I
But if I'm gone when I wake up, please don't cry
Lucas opened his eyes slowly, his body still felt exhausted and then he remembered what had happened and why Brooke was not there next to him. Tears sprang to his eyes as he recalled the previous events.
And if I'm gone when you wake up, it's not goodbye
"I'm not telling you goodbye!" Lucas could have sworn he head Brooke yell. He closed his eyes as the memory came flooding back.
I
"Brooke," Lucas tried to reason.
"I can't Luke," She cried. "I can't just say goodbye… it's like… I'll never see you again,"
"But I'll see you tomorrow,"
"Then just say goodnight," She sobbed.
Lucas pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head, her hormones had been so out of whack the last few weeks, and he had no idea why. Little did he know it was a side effect of a medicine she was on.
"I'm sorry… I'm just really upset…and… it's storming… and if I tell you goodbye…" Brooke tried to get out.
"Play, where are you getting these crazy ideas from?"
"Haley's dreams…"
Lucas sighed. "Don't let Haley tell you her dream, they are whacked out Brooke,"
Brooke laughed slightly. "Tell me about it, I've had dreams about her dreams,"
Lucas, too, laughed.
"How bout we make a deal?" Brooke suggested.
"Okay,"
"We'll meet in our dreams,"
Lucas looked at Brooke funny.
"Have you never seen 'Step mom'?" Brooke asked.
Lucas shook his head.
"I don't have the time to explain, we'll watch it tomorrow," Brooke said and gave Luke a kiss. "See you in your dreams Broody," She asked and smiled at him as he walked out to his car.
End I
Don't look back at this time
As a time of heartbreak and distress
Lucas smiled remembering Brooke, he quickly felt guilty for doing so. Brooke… his Brooke was gone.
Remember me, remember me
Lucas closed his eyes trying to block out everything around him, the flashbacks and the stupid Hanson song he had listened to on Brooke's ipod and when his vision went completely black, Brooke's dimpled smile became incredibly visible in his mind.
Cause I'll be with you
Lucas clenched his jaw, he wanted the image to go away, but at the same time wanted it to stay, fearing he may forget her.
Oh…
I'll be with you
"You won't forget Broody," Brooke told him.
Lucas smiled
I
"And how do you know that?"
"Because it's my birthday, you won't forget it,"
"But it's like 8 months from now,"
"And? Name one thing you've forgotten that I've told you,"
"What?! That doesn't even make sense Brooke."
"See, you won't forget!" She said and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"You're right," Lucas said seriously.
"Um… duh, have you met me? I'm always right," Brooke said much less serious.
"I love you," Lucas told her.
Brooke smiled. "I love you too…"
End I
Tears rolled down Lucas' face, once again, he was sure he'd run out soon.
I don't want to cry and weep
Oh, oh
Lucas wiped away his tears, knowing Brooke wouldn't want him to be like this.
I
"You knew it was going to happen…"
"But I'm gonna miss you too much Pretty Girl," Lucas cried.
Brooke's heart broke. "Lucas… please don't cry, you're killing me,"
"I'm sorry," He apologized.
Brooke leaned towards him and kissed his forehead then put her forehead against his. "It's gonna be okay," She assured him.
End I
I want you to go on living your life.
Lucas looked at the clock on the wall, 3:25.
I
"Lucas…" Brooke said breathing heavily. "You… you can't stay here with me all day,"
Lucas' heart broke with every word Brooke said, she was getting worse by the day and they both knew it. "Why not Pretty Girl?" He asked brushing some hair out of her face.
"Because… what are you gonna do when I'm gone?"
"Brooke - -"
"Don't Luke," She interrupted. "Please…"
Lucas looked up at her.
"You've got to keep living Luke… once I'm gone,"
"Brooke," Lucas pleaded, tears streaming down his face. "I can't," he said shaking his head.
Brooke looked at him pleadingly. "…please,"
End I
Lucas never agreed to do so, he knew he should have done whatever she had asked him, but he couldn't agree to that… he just couldn't. Brooke was his life and without her there he didn't know how he could go on.
Just then Haley walked in, she looked worse than Lucas.
"Hey buddy," Lucas greeted softly wrapping Haley in his arms.
"I'm pregnant," Haley sobbed.
"What?" Lucas asked looking at her.
"She knew," Haley said, her eyes looking at Brooke's bed.
I'm not sleeping an endless sleep, oh, oh
I
Haley walked into Brooke's bedroom. No one else was there and Brooke was deathly still. Haley's heart skipped a beat as she looked at the increasingly pale, motionless girl lying in front of her. Haley sat down beside Brooke's bed and began to cry.
"I'm not dead yet Haley," Brooke said, her eyes still closed.
Haley shot up. "Brooke… I thought you were - -"
"Dead?" Brooke asked.
"No! Asleep,"
"Sweetie, how can I be sleeping with you thinking so loudly?"
"I'm sorry," Haley apologized.
"It's okay," Brooke said and sat up. "I need to get up,"
"So where's Luke?"
"Oh, I sent him away… he needed to get out of here…"
Haley nodded and bit her bottom lip.
"What's up Hales?"
Haley looked up at her.
"Are you okay?" Brooke asked seriously.
"If I tell you something… you swear you won't tell?"
"I'll tale it with me to the grave,"
Haley shot her a look. "Not funny,"
"Sorry,"
Haley took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant,"
Brooke's eyes widened then filled with tears.
"Oh, Brooke, God, I'm sorry," Haley apologized for making her upset.
"No, no, it's okay, I'm happy for you, I swear," Brooke said looking upwards trying to prevent new tears from falling.
"Then what's wrong?"
"I'm not gonna get to see it," She whispered.
Haley immediately felt horrible, maybe she shouldn't have told Brooke.
"Hales…"
Haley looked at Brooke.
She again had her eyes closed, but a smiled on her face. "Don't name her Brooke,"
Haley and Brooke both started laughing slightly.
"Why not?" Haley asked.
"Because…" Brooke said still smiling. She looked at Haley, her smile disappearing. "Luke won't be able to look at her,"
Haley knew she was right. "Middle name…?"
Brooke laughed. "Okay," She agreed.
"And what makes you think it's a girl?"
Brooke again opened her eyes and looked at Haley. "You're so having a cheerleader just so Nate and Luke can squirm while she's growing up."
Haley laughed, a tear rolling down her face. She looked at Brooke, her laughter quieting quickly.
Brooke had her eyes closed once again. "I'm gonna miss you too Tutor Girl," she whispered.
Haley nodded, not being able to say it back, but Brooke knew she felt the same.
End I
"So are you going to be okay Luke?" Haley sniffled.
"No," He said honestly. "But now I have to take care of you,"
"No, Luke, you don't…"
"Hales, have you seen yourself? I do…"
"I'm sorry," She whimpered.
Lucas wrapped his arm around her.
It's in your heart you'll have all of our good times
Oh, oh, all of our good times
Oh, oh… you have
"Are you scared?" Haley whispered as the two sat on the floor at the foot of Brooke's bed.
"Of forgetting her," Lucas told her.
Haley shook her head. "You won't."
"Memories fade Hales…"
"She's in your heart Luke… you'll have that forever,"
Cause if I'm gone when you wake up,
Please don't cry.
And if I'm gone when you wake up,
It's not goodbye.
Don't look back at this time,
As a time of heartbreak and distress,
Remember me, remember me,
Cause I'll be with you in your dreams.
Oh…
Lucas laid in bed listening to that song again. Brooke's funeral had gone by like he was an onlooker to it, he couldn't remember one detail from it all. He hadn't eaten, slept or done much anything since Brooke died.
I'll be with you in your dreams…
"See you in your dreams Broody," Brooke said and winked.
Lucas closed his eyes and for the first time in 4 or 5 days, he slept.
"Hey you," Haley said walking to Lucas.
Lucas looked up at her and couldn't help but smile.
Haley sat down next to him. "How you doing?"
Lucas looked at her.
"Sorry, stupid question…"
"Her birthday's next week,"
Haley sighed and placed her hand on her stomach. "You gonna go see her?" She asked looking up at Lucas.
Lucas nodded.
"You want me to go with you?"
"No, I'll be okay,"
Haley nodded. "Feels like it's been longer than 3 months,"
"More like 3 years,"
"I'm sorry Luke…"
"I should have made her do chemo,"
"She wasn't going to… we both know that,"
Lucas bit down hard as his chin quivered. "I miss her,"
Haley nodded. "I know… I know," she said and again placed her hand on her stomach.
Lucas looked at her. "You had a doctor's appointment yesterday didn't you?"
Haley smiled a little. "Yeah… found out what we are having,"
Lucas smiled back at her.
Lucas sat in the empty gym staring where the cheerleaders practice.
Nathan walked in and went to sit by his brother.
"She used to wait right here for me after practice,"
Nathan nodded. "I know…"
A laugh escaped Lucas' mouth. "Our poor squad, they lost 2 of their best cheerleaders this year,"
Nathan placed his hand on Lucas' back.
"I heard you're having a girl,"
Nathan laughed. "Yeah…"
"She's gonna be so spoiled,"
"She will,"
"You guys got a name?"
"Haley does, but she's keeping it under wraps as of now…"
Lucas laughed "She would…"
Nathan nodded.
"You don't have to stay Nate,"
"I - -"
"Go, Haley's probably waiting on you, I'll be okay,"
"You sure?"
"Yes, go Nathan,"
Nathan nodded and patted his brother's shoulder.
Lucas put his head in his hands and broke down again.
I
"It's okay Lucas," Brooke tried to tell him, crying slightly.
Lucas shook his head. "No it's not Brooke!"
"Yes it is Broody…"
"Then stop crying,"
Brooke gasped for a breath, her sobs getting in the way. "I can't…" She said shaking her head.
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to leave you either,"
Lucas pulled her into one of his million dollar hugs.
"I'm… so sorry Luke," She apologized.
"Shh," Lucas whispered not even wanting to know what she could possibly be sorry for.
"It's gonna be okay… right?" Brooke asked, needing someone to reassure her like she had been doing to everyone else.
Lucas kissed the top of her head. "It's gonna have to be…"
End I
Peyton plopped down next to Haley on a bench outside school.
"Morning," Haley said.
Peyton laid her head on Haley's shoulder. "Morning," She mumbled.
Haley sighed, she was surprised to even see Peyton at school today. "How you holding up?"
Peyton shook her head. "Not good," she said truthfully. "Everyone should see their 18th birthday,"
Haley nodded. "Yeah,"
"Have you seen Lucas?"
"No…" Haley said with a heavy sigh.
"Hey guys," Lucas said walking up to the girls.
Haley smiled weakly.
"Hey," Peyton whispered.
"Lighten up," Lucas said almost annoyed by the two girls' behavior.
"Lucas," Haley said somewhat shocked.
"I can't do this today!" He yelled.
"Then don't! Go home Luke, it's okay," Haley pleaded.
"And do what?! Think about her all day? I have to keep my mind off of her okay, and I can't be around you guys if you're going to act different around me today!"
"Lucas, she was my best friend way longer than she was your girlfriend and I get that you two were in love, but she meant just as much to me as she did you. And I miss her just as much as you do! But you are not going to tell me that I can't be upset today," Peyton said.
"That's not what I'm saying! I'm saying I can't be around it, I can't handle it, Peyton" Lucas said breaking down.
The three teenagers looked at each other, tears running down each of their faces.
None of them moved as the first bell rang.
Lucas looked at Haley, she looked down. He then looked at Peyton, she looked right at him. "Come here," he whispered and took her in his arms as she broke down.
"Haley!"
Haley looked up to see Nathan running towards her. "Damn it woman," He breathed relieved. "You had me worried," he said and kissed her forehead. Nathan looked at the 3 of them. "Come on," He whispered, helping Haley up.
Haley laid her head on Nathan's shoulder and Lucas had Peyton wrapped in his arms, supporting her.
Everyone got settled in their first period classes, Nathan and Lucas in the same, Peyton and Haley in another.
"Alright, and birthdays today…" The voice from the main office said over the intercom.
Lucas grinded his teeth.
A tear rolled down Peyton's cheek.
"Looks like only one, Brooke Davis, so if you see her today - -" She said, but catching herself quickly, but still too late.
Peyton exhaled heavily, tears rolling down her face.
Lucas' teacher looked at him, along with Nathan, concerned.
"I'm sorry about that," the voice over the intercom said.
Lucas violently stood up and stormed out of the classroom.
Peyton quickly turned and got out of her desk, exiting her class.
"Shit," Nathan mumbled and ran after his brother.
"Peyton," Haley tried, but was ignored. Haley looked at her teacher, she nodded and Haley followed Peyton out into the hallway.
Lucas stood in front of a row of lockers, staring at one in particular.
I
"Open it" Lucas told her.
"Actually, I'm kinda scared" Brooke told Lucas honestly.
"Brooke, come on,"
"Why Luke?" she pressed.
Lucas sighed. "Brooke,"
"Okay, but you're coming with me…"
Lucas laughed as they walked closer to her locker.
Brooke cautiously opened the locker door, closing her eyes, scared something was going to scare her.
"Open you eyes Pretty Girl,"
Brooke did as she was told and opened her eyes slightly. "Hmm…" She said seeing a small box.
"Open it,"
Brooke turned to Lucas and smiled. "Okay," She said and did so. "Oh Lucas…" She said seeing what was inside. "Lucas…" She said looking up at him. "This is beautiful… but… why'd you get it for me?" She asked confused.
Lucas took the bracelet out of the box and put it on Brooke's wrist. "Because, it's your half birthday and I wanted to show you that I won't forget your real birthday"
Brooke laughed, "Come here," She said wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you,"
"I love you too," He told her.
Brooke curled into his chest. "Let's not go to class today," She whispered.
End I
Lucas looked over his shoulder and saw a broken Peyton walking towards him. "Same idea?" He asked.
Peyton simply nodded.
Lucas wrapped her in his arms. "Let's not go to class today," he suggested.
"You think she'd be mad if she saw us?" Peyton asked lying in Lucas' bed with a tear stained face.
"Why would she be?" Lucas asked.
"I don't know… you're Brooke's Luke," Peyton said looking at the arm he had draped around her.
"So were you Peyton," he told her. "Besides, I've got to take care of you,"
I
Brooke was laying in her bed, Lucas' arms wrapped around her. "I'm worried about Peyton…" She said out of the blue.
"Why?" Lucas asked.
"Because," Brooke started. "I was there when her mom died, and Peyton was only a little kid, but it was so hard on her. Then when Ellie died… she only knew Ellie for a little while. I've known her the longest Luke, what's she gonna do?" Brooke asked looking up at him.
"Brooke, it's gonna be hard on her… it's gonna be hard on all of us,"
Tears filled Brooke's eyes. "I'm sorry…"
Lucas kissed her forehead. "Don't cry Pretty Girl,"
Brooke nodded. "Yeah," then laughed a little. "I'm such a mess,"
"It's okay,"
"No, no it's not," She said breathing heavily now. "I'm tired," she said snuggling into Lucas.
He wrapped his arms around her tighter. "Get some sleep,"
Brooke nodded. "Hey Luke…" She asked, almost asleep.
"Yeah?" Lucas whispered.
"Peyton… will you take care of her?"
"Brooke,"
"Luke, please, she's gonna need you,"
"I need you," Lucas said, letting his emotions get the best of him.
Brooke moved even closer to him. "Luke," She could feel him begin to cry.
"I'm scared Brooke,"
She shook her head. "Don't be Lucas, you're gonna be okay,"
"But you're not!"
Brooke sighed. "I know but… you'll make it without me…" she told him, her heart breaking with every word.
"I don't want to. You're my Pretty Girl, what am I going to do without you?"
Brooke leaned up and placed a kiss on Lucas' forehead, then nuzzled her head up against his chest, wanting his arms around her again. "You'll be okay Luke," She assured him.
"I'll take care of Peyton," He assured her.
"Thank you," Brooke whispered then shortly fell asleep.
End I