Okay

Injury

Now she remembered why she didn't go to quidditch games.

Her life was stressful enough without the added pressure of going to quidditch games and worrying about someone getting injured. But James had poked, prodded and used every trick in his book to prey on their friendship in just the right way to guilt her into going. So, eventually, he wore her down enough so she agreed to go.

She sat between her friends, Alice and Emmeline, her mind racing, chewing on her nails in anxiousness. Gryffindor and Slytherin had a rivalry, but she'd never seen it manifested on the quidditch pitch. She knew quidditch was a dangerous game, but this was just above what she'd ever imagined or she'd dreamed of anticipating.

And it seemed like she was a bad luck charm. Catherine Matheson, Gryffindor's little wisp of a Seeker, had almost been bowled off of her broom by one of Slytherin's beaters. Their Keeper, Tessa Smith, had been lucky enough to make a spectacular save while avoiding a well-aimed bludger. Chaser Johnathan Morgan's arm had met a bludger hard enough to break his arm and was pulled from the game.

Slytherin hadn't made it out without their own scares, scratches and scars. A beater had a broken nose thanks to a speeding bludger and James had managed to break the Slytherin keeper's finger with a rather violent goal.

But the worst was happening right in front of her eyes. Most of the game was focused on Matheson's diving for the snitch, but meanwhile, James was racing for the goal posts, quaffle in hand. The Slytherin Chasers were converging on Matheson, and yet Lily's gaze was focused on James and the action that was going on above Matheson's head.

As a result, she was one of the few that saw the bludger aimed at James head, and she was one of the few that cried out as the small, deadly ball made contact with the back of James head. It hit hard enough that James actually overbalanced on his broom and went tumbling off, hurtling towards the ground. The crowd's happy shouts quickly turned into gasps of outrage and frustration as they watched their famous Chaser fall.

And Lily was among them.

Dumbledore managed to catch him as he fell, setting him down on the ground lightly. The crowd swarmed the edge of the stands watching as the teachers worked to whisk James off. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin followed closely behind.

Lily sat heavily, her eyes unfocused. Emmeline and Alice sat with her, ignoring all of the other fans trickling out of the stands.

"Lily?" Emmeline asked tentatively. Neither girl had expected the redhead to react so violently to Potter's injury. They weren't particularly against the Marauders – Emmeline had been denying an attraction to Sirius Black for years – but generally kept away from discussing them.

"Lily?" Alice repeated, hoping to get the redhead's attention.

Lily's shoulders raised and lowered in a deep breath before her head came up. "I hate quidditch."

Emmeline actually chuckled. "Why?"

"It's violent," Lily shivered as she pushed herself to stand.

"Why does it matter?" Alice asked. "Catherine didn't fall, Tessa wasn't hit by the bludger and she made the save. And you don't even like James."

Silence reigned and Lily felt embarrassment and guilt bloom red across her cheeks.

Emmeline gasped. "You've been holding out on us!"

Alice cocked her head, considering Lily. "Not really."

"Not really?" Lily asked nervously, her eyes finding Alice's. "What are you talking about?"

Alice shrugged. "Really, this kind of thing has been a long time coming."

Lily's mind was racing, already concerned with her reaction to begin with. Why had she been so upset about James' injury? Why was she worried now? This was not the first time James had been injured by far and all of the other ones she'd been able to shrug off without issue, yet here she was, sitting in the stands, worrying her bottom lip, and terribly, horribly confused.

She looked up at Alice. "What kind of thing?"

"You can't tell me you haven't been feeling it, Lil. We've noticed, students have noticed, teachers have noticed. You and James don't fight as much. You bicker, you argue, sure, but really, it's become more cute than anything else," Alice explained.

"Is it so wrong that James and I are friends?" Lily asked, irritation blatant in her voice.

"Not at all," Alice contradicted. "And that's not the point that I'm making."

Lily folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself. "What is the point then?"

"You're not stupid, Lil," Emmeline said, catching onto where Alice was going. "You know James is practically in love with you. He's made it very obvious."

Lily looked away.

"And you wouldn't be wrestling with yourself so much if you weren't thinking the same thing," Alice said softly.

"I'm not in love with him," Lily snapped.

Alice nodded. "No, no you're not. But you don't hate him. You might even fancy him."

Lily turned away, looking down on the pitch to the spot she'd seen James fall. She didn't fancy him, did she? She couldn't. They'd been enemies and he still drove her crazy most of the time. They fought all the time, they had completely different lifestyles. Heck, she'd given him more detentions than she could count, and that was only over the course of two years!

"I can't fancy him," she said. "I can't."

---------------------------------

Lily stepped quietly into the Hospital Wing long after nightfall. It was weird to do her patrols by herself. She was used to James' stupid comments, little things that made her laugh. She hadn't realized it until that night, her mind fixated on the young man lying in the infirmary and her hackles up. She'd never realized how safe she felt when James was walking beside her.

Her green eyes scanned the room, identifying the messy black head half way down the room. She walked slowly, quietly, hoping not to wake either James or Madam Pomfrey. She stood by his bed, just looking down at him, her hand itching to brush his bangs away from his face. It was a curse, that messy hair.

But it was still very James.

She felt a small soft smile blossom over her face stopping her hand on the edge of the bed. Then she closed her eyes, rolling them under her eyelids. "Why am I here?" she whispered, more to herself than to him. But it was a comfortable feeling.

"Why does this matter to me? Why did I have to come here? Why did I freak out? We're not really friends, definitely not close enough for me to be so…. Worried."

James didn't move, still unconscious. Lily found her hand gravitating towards the one he had resting beside him.

"This doesn't make sense," she said softly. "Alice says I fancy you, but I can't, can I? We've been enemies so long it doesn't make sense. We just became friends."

By this point her hand had wormed its way to his, her fingers brushing his. Lily pulled in air, the sound ragged in the back of her throat.

"I don't know what's happening anymore," she said, surprisingly at ease with talking to an unconscious ex-enemy. "You know I was actually a little scared walking through the halls without you? And to think, a few months ago I hated patrolling with you. I guess that's how I ended up here. Well, it had better be, because I sure can't find another reason." She chuckled to herself, self-deprecation harsh in the sound.

Her fingers wound around his, her eyes staying fixed on their entwined hands so as to not focus on exactly who she was spilling her heart to. She stayed quiet, trying to gather her thoughts. It was then that his hand squeezed around her own and her eyes darted up to his.

"Hey," he said, voice groggy and scratchy.

"Hi," she whispered back.

James swallowed, trying to get some moisture into his throat. "What are you doing here?" Then he looked around. "What am I doing here?"

"Um…" Lily began. "Do you… Do you remember falling..."

"Off my broom. Quidditch," he remembered nodding only slightly. "You were there."

Lily smiled to herself. Pomfrey had to have put him on something so he wouldn't feel the pain of the bludger's impact. "I was," she agreed softly.

"Because I asked."

"That was part of it."

Silence fell until Lily broke it with a sigh, avoiding James' eyes. "I should get to bed."

James' hand grasped at his. "Go out with me."

Lily blinked. Had he heard everything she'd said? Is that why he was asking now, out of the blue? He hadn't asked since their last fight in the Heads' common room. She shook herself inwardly. It was whatever potions he was on. They lowered his inhibitions, that had to be it. It had nothing to do with what she said.

It didn't stop the sharp shiver that drilled down her spine at the knowledge that he still wanted her.

What is wrong with me? She asked herself scathingly. However, she bestowed a small smile upon James. "No. Get better soon."

She was gone before he could try to convince her otherwise.

I don't think it's my best work, but they always say you're your own toughest critic. Let me know if I'm wrong.

I apologize for the HUGE delay in updating too. Everything that got pushed to the front earlier... Well, long story short I've got hell coming to haunt me. We're getting closer now though, closer and closer and closer...