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"Uh, god. Where am I?" Shikamaru asked raising his head about 45 degrees, but he quickly remembered what happened last night: a naked girl was somewhere in his apartment, most of the Konaha 11 was in his apartment, and his apartment, for some reason, was a magnet for trouble. His eyes widened and he shot up the rest of the 90 degree angle he almost completed when he woke up. "Oh shit!" he shouted jumping out of bed still in his clothes and stinking of sake, and Shikamaru rushed into his kitchen to see everyone still out cold. "Phew. I have to get another apartment," he said as he walked back to his room, and, after he opened the door, he stopped in his tracks.
"Chi." The girl was there, and she smiled. Shikamaru's nose got a red trail of blood as his eyes traveled down to see her rather large assets. "Chi," she chied again, but Shikamaru's eye just twitched. After a few seconds of a nose bleed, large eyes, a gaping mouth, and a naked girl standing in front of the man getting those very features, Shikamaru finally covered his eyes, turned his head, and thought why she wasn't reacting.
"P-please put some clothes on!" he shouted/ whispered so the other ninja, who were still out cold, wouldn't hear. Then he realized he brought her to his apartment without any clothes. "God damn it."
"Chi." Again she chied, but Shikamaru forgot what happened last time he copied her in a questioning tone.
"Chi?" Again she jumped and hugged him, and again he got a monstrous nose bleed. "G-get off!" This time he yelled. Big mistake.
"Wha? Where am I?" Shikamaru saw Ino wake up, but she was facing the wrong way. Shikamaru would have to thank god this time, but again he forgot what happened last time he thanked someone.
"Chi," the naked girl said still hugging Shikamaru.
"Huh?" Ino looked around, but never looked behind her, which was where Shikamaru and the mysterious girl were. Eventually, Ino said, "Damn rats." Thank you god. Again, big mistake. "Where's Shikamaru? Hm, I bet he's in his room." Shikamaru froze, and, again, damn you god. Ino slowly turned around, but Shikamaru reacted just in time as he got up, the naked girl still hugging him, walked two feet, and ran in the closet where the girl was supposed to have hidden. "Well, the door's open so he probably left. Lazy bastard, left all us out cold," Ino just sighed and stood up. "Well, I guess I'll do him a favor and get everyone out of here." Shikamaru was secretly watching Ino as she picked everyone up easily, and he released a longly held breath. Finally, Ino left with everyone.
"Phew. Finally," Shikamaru said walking out of the closet, but he soon noticed the girl still hugging him and worse
the mess of a sake party. He got another nose bleed, fell over, and died. Not really.
-
"Chi." Shikamau was aroused as a voice spoke, and again he shot up at the sudden memory of who the voice belonged to. Then he remembered the Konaha 11 was gone, and he had nothing to worry about. Again he was wrong because the girl was still, STILL hugging him.
"W-what are you doing!" he asked/ shouted.
"Chi!" she screamed and pushed her body against him.
"Whoa! D-don't do that!" he ordered, and she got off. The look in her eye showed Shikamaru that she was disappointed. "Ok, you can hug me if you get some clothes on."
The girl perked up and shouted, "Chi!" raising her arms making her assets look even larger giving Shikamaru a
nose bleed.
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After many minutes of searching and struggling to get clothes on, Shikamaru got clothes that fit her, but they looked exactly like his. "Ok, if no one sees you it'll be ok," Shikamaru said knowing someone would walk up to him and shake his hand, saying, "Congratulations." "Well lets go," Shikamaru said looking at the girl, but he noticed the same disappointing look she had earlier. "Fine, you can hug me," he conceded.
"Chi!" she yelled jumping and hugging him.
"Why do you always say chi?" Shikamaru asked but regretted it as she squished him tighter. This time he had a small
nose bleed. "L-lets g-go"
-
"I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life," Shikamaru repeated over an over.
"Chi," The now dressed girl said looking concerned for him.
"I'm ok. I think." He whispered the last part so the girl wouldn't hear.
As they entered a hospital a man looked up from his paperwork and said, "Don't tell me your here for a pregnant test." At that statement Shikamaru's eyes widened.
"Oh, she's not my-" Shikamaru couldn't finish as the man interrupted.
"Ok, ok. I just needed to know if you were here for that. What do you need?" he asked releasing a breath to show he was relieved.
"I found this girl in an alley under some trash bags-" Again he was interrupted.
"Trash bags! Who put her there?" the man asked, but he was an idiot for it since Shikamaru obviously didn't know.
"I don't know, but I took her home because she was... er... half... naked, but I got some clothes on her. She doesn't seem to have any injuries, but I think something's the matter with her voice because she can only say chi." As Shikamaru finished, the girl instantly hugged him. "Ah! Not again!" He struggled against her, but her grip was like steel. "Can you just ugh check her," Shikamaru said struggling took get the right words instead of the girl.
"Yeah, right away." The man pushed a button and two other men came in, took the girl off of Shikamaru, and walked through a door with her.
"Ok, I can go now, right?" Shikamaru asked stepping back, eager to leave.
"Oh no, you have to fill out a form," the man at the desk said, which disappointed Shikamaru, but he just sighed.
"Ok, whatever," Shikamaru said groaning. "But don't tell anyone about this."
"Yeah, yeah whatever," the man said going back to his paperwork, after handing one paper to Shikamaru.
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Omake!
Shikamaru: Phew, thank god I- Crap! I said thank god! panics
Ino: Hi, Shika! what happened this chapter? enters
Shikamaru: N-nothing! cowers in fear
Ino: Let me see. starts reading
Shikamaru: Wait! Ino! cowers more in fear
Ino: Shikamaru! Why did you hug a naked girl! stops reading
Shikamaru: I didn't mean it! cowers even more in fear
Temari: Hi, Shikamaru! What happened this chapter? enters
Shikamaru: Damn you, god! dies (really this time)
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Just so you know I don't believe in god. Also remember, one review for the next chapter. Please, I'm begging you! Well, bye!