If Only
Glinda arrived home to find she was alone. Chanter had gone out and she was left to occupy herself. She wished that he was around because she wanted to talk to someone.
Chanter had been distant lately and the last time they had been together intimately was a couple of weeks before. She missed being held tight in his arms and the taste of his lips. The last time they were together was fierce and they had been content with the joining of their bodies despite their increasing problems.
Lately though, he was acting strange and it scared Glinda. Maybe he had found another woman, a woman who was not as busy or as powerful. Glinda fought hard not to think on this scenario. She couldn't lie to herself; she knew that Chanter found it hard to deal with her current position.
She also knew that she didn't always want to be the ruler of Oz. After all, it had been practically thrust upon her at the last minute. She wanted to be able to enjoy married life. If being the ruler of Oz meant that she had to sacrifice happiness and love, then she would gladly give up the title.
Why couldn't he just be happy for her? She knew of other women, less important than her but still important nonetheless, that had supportive husbands. Yet her husband was getting bitterer by each passing day and breaking her heart with his obvious disdain.
Glinda sat on their bed feeling as if she were about to burst into tears. She began to recall the nights spent with Elphaba in the room they shared. Although they wouldn't have admitted it to anyone else at Shiz, they were best friends.
While at Shiz, Glinda would wake up in the middle of the night and find that Elphaba was awake as well. They would talk almost all night about the current situations of things, and of course, about love.
Glinda found her heart aching for the green girl who had become like her sister. If only things had turned out differently. If only.
If only Elphie had lived, Glinda would feel more confident right now. It seemed as if part of Glinda had melted along with her friend.
The door slammed shut, waking Glinda from her reminiscent state and causing her to let out a small scream. She saw Chanter stumble into the room and watched as he nearly smacked into the wall.
"Where have you been?" She questioned, trying to keep her cool.
"Why do ya care where I been? It doesn't matter. Nothing I do matters to you and your fancy little people." He was obviously drunk, something new to the both of them.
"Oh really? Nothing you do matters to me?" She said almost mocking his slurred speech.
"No, I sit beside you day out and out in." He was too drunk to even put together a coherent sentence, and if Glinda wouldn't have been so mad at him, she would have laughed.
"Chanter, I don't know what you want me to do. I have a job and the job that I have is to rule Oz. Now, that job comes with responsibilities. These responsibilities come with sacrifices. And some sacrifices are going to be passed on to you."
She was proud of her explanation, but he obviously wasn't impressed. He had passed out on the couch with his mouth agape and eyes half open.
She shook her head angrily and spoke aloud to herself, "The one time I make a good point in a fight and he falls asleep. So typical! What did I say again? I better write it down. No need to let such prolific words go to waste."
She left him on the couch to sleep of his alcoholic influences. Meanwhile, she lay in bed trying to turn off her mind. She wasn't having much success.
What was going to happen to them? They weren't even a year into their marriage and it was looking as if they were headed for the end.
Glinda had not imagined that being a wife was going to be this difficult, but then again, she was no ordinary wife. She was the ruler of Oz. Everything that made her unique stemmed from the fact that she was the leader of a group of people and her problems seemed to originate from that too.
She tried to close her eyes, but they wouldn't shut. Insomnia was a beast, and right now it was attacking Glinda ferociously.
The stillness was driving her insane; so much so that she decided to get up out of bed. She put on her robe and walked out onto the balcony. Below her, the world was still. She curled up in the rocking chair, and rested her head on her hand.
She felt as if she was the only person awake in the whole city. Humming made the silence bearable. The tune was soft. It was an old song that Ama Clutch used to sing to her when she was a little girl.
It was hard for Glinda to recall the words, but she did remember a few, "Hush little girl, everything is alright. Hush little girl, don't wake in the night. Sweet thoughts will come, to you as you dream. Hush little girl, troubles aren't as bad as they seem."
The lullaby did its job by calming her mind and lulling her into sleep. In the morning she awoke to a horrible bout of nausea. Her throat stung, and she felt her stomach bubbling. She rushed to the bathroom to accommodate the impending and unfortunate expelling of food.
She barely made it to the receptacle. Her body heaved, causing a cleansing that she had not wanted, but had welcomed once it was over.
Over the past few days, she had not been feeling well. She felt sick to her stomach, mostly in the mornings, and found herself extremely tired. At first she had blamed it on her work schedule. Then she had blamed it on the situation with Chanter, but now she was beginning to think it was something else all together. This something else terrified her.
Could she be? No, it wasn't possible. She had been careful to take all of the necessary precautions. Then again, there was that night a couple of weeks ago. Oh sweet Oz! She fell to her knees, overcome by the reality of her current dismal situation.
She had to find out if her presumption was right. So, she dressed quickly and headed to visit the midwife.
Madam Aldo resided in a small cottage about forty-five minutes away from the palace. Glinda had taken a carriage, and the whole time she was traveling she felt the need to pinch herself to make sure that she was awake. She was so tense that her jaw ached from clamping it shut. If she was indeed pregnant, would she be willing to face the consequences?
The carriage came to a halt abruptly, almost catapulting Glinda from her seat. She entered into the quaint abode, and brushed back a spider web that had attached to her arm. The woman was crouched over the fire tending to a pot. Glinda heard someone squeal then turned to see a woman laying on a bed. She was swollen with child and was screeching like a wild animal.
Glinda watched as Madam Aldo found her way to the end of the bed. She was quiet and calm as she instructed the woman to prop up her legs. Glinda was about to speak when the midwife called her over.
She wasn't sure that she wanted to get too close to the event that was about to occur, but the look on the woman's face made it hard not to comply.
"Go to the side of the bed and hold her hand." Aldo instructed as she lowered her hands closer to the woman. The woman lifted her back off of the bed and made a sound that Glinda could only
compare to growling, for she had never heard anyone make that kind of noise before.
It was awkward being in the tiny room holding a stranger's hand, while that same stranger was half naked before her. The woman's round inhabited belly contorted as the she squeezed Glinda's hand.
"Okay Gael, when you feel the next contraction, bare down and push as hard as you can." Aldo instructed.
It was only seconds later that the woman was constricting Glinda's hand and screeching from the pain. Glinda was afraid mostly because the woman was in such agony, but also because she was beginning to lose the feeling in her fingers.
Then something wonderful happened. With one last shout, Aldo reached out her hands. A baby appeared and began to wail. Glinda couldn't believe it, out of all that agony came a beautiful baby.
The woman joined her baby in the crying, and held out her arms as Aldo placed the little creature with its mother.
Glinda found that she was nauseous again, and rushed outside the door. This time was more painful because she no longer had any food to dispel. Aldo witnessed this and came up to her.
"Well, Honorable Glinda the Good, did you come to tell me that I should be expecting to have you on that bed in a matter of months?" She chuckled, causing the short graying ringlets on her head to bounce.
"Wha, what do you mean?" Glinda managed to say despite the horrible feeling caused by her dry heaves.
"Well, it seems as though you have morning sickness. Unless you just have a weak stomach and couldn't stand the site of the afterbirth."
"No, I have been sick in the mornings lately. That's actually why I'm here. Madam Aldo, do you have a way to tell if I'm pregnant or not?"
Madam Aldo smiled, "Dear, from the moment you walked into my cottage I knew. Your skin is glowing and I just have this incredible ability to sense when a woman is carrying a baby." She placed her hands on Glinda's flat belly, "you're not too far along. I would say no more than two weeks."
Glinda felt her heart drop. With such accuracy, there was no denying the fact.
She burst into tears and collapsed in Aldo's arms.
"Well, I never would have expected this from you. I was expecting happy tears and a huge smile." Aldo said as she cradled a crying Glinda.
"I can't have a baby right now." Glinda sobbed, "there's no way that I can do it. My husband is not speaking to me and I barely have time to sleep, let alone take care of another living thing!" Glinda was shouting, but she couldn't help it. She was falling apart, well, more like unraveling.
"Well, I do have a solution." Aldo cooed, "It's an elixir. I usually find myself providing it to young girls who have had an unfortunate pregnancy out of the bonds of marriage. It takes care of the problem, and you will be back to work the next day."
Could it be true? A solution to her problem that would only take a day to recover from? Glinda looked up through tear filled eyes.
"Are there any side effects?"
"Oh, well there are some really horrible cramps for about an hour, but other than that, no. You'll be worry free after only one dose. Hold on a second, and I'll go fetch a bottle for you."
Glinda found her heartbeat had slowed back down to a normal pace and that she was no longer crying. Of course there was a magical elixir to cure pregnancy, why hadn't she thought about it before?
Aldo returned with a glass bottle filled with a red liquid. The bottle felt heavy in her hands when Aldo handed it to her.
"Okay, go home and drink the whole bottle. Then lie down and place a hot rag on your abdomen. If your husband asks what you're doing, just inform him that it's your monthly curse, and I'm sure he'll leave you alone."
Glinda hugged Aldo, "Thank you so much. And, please, don't mention a word of this to anyone."
Aldo smiled, "Oh dear, I never do. It's part of the midwife's code. Never speak of what you hear."
Glinda heard the newly born child begin to cry as she walked away, and felt relieved that she wouldn't be hearing that sound in her home anytime soon.
Inside the carriage, she decided she would go ahead and take the elixir. She slowly unscrewed the top, "Sorry about this," she said as she raised the bottle to her lips.