AN: Trying to finish this story before my life gets ridiculously busy again. Reviews are a true motivation, thank you! Please keep the the feedback coming!
Lost and Found
By lfleurdelys
Chapter 4
I was breathing again, letting the fresh air fill my lungs. The rainy weather would not put a damper on my mood. Not this time. I smiled, determined to let my past go and branding my umbrella like a sword, I marched on forward to my classes of the day, with perseverance and a will like no others.
Regardless of my resolution, I secretly thought of him from time to time and I wondered when our paths would cross again. Since our last encounter at the fraternity, I had not seen him and I knew without a doubt that he was avoiding me. The day went on with a slight nostalgic note as I walked past the party house but my resolve kept my feet firmly grounded and I dismissed the thought as rapidly as it had assaulted me. I sighed deeply. His insistence on evading my presence was a blessing in disguise.
o o o
Between classes, I walked toward the eclectic street packed with odd store fronts and window displays which was conveniently located across campus. It suited the mood of the liberal environment of the town and it had become a defined and popular feature of the university. I aimlessly entered one of the local bookshops and browsed the thick volumes in the fiction category. The calendar section was in plain sight and I could not help but move hastily to the glossy booklets, always in search of a new one to add to my collection. I absently noted today's date and gasped audibly. Next Tuesday was Darien's birthday.
Since I was a little girl, I had always valued the remembrance of birthdays. I had consciously memorized those annual dates for family and friends. Darien had been included in this list and the nagging thought that March 24th was around the corner was floating in the recess of my mind. I was suddenly infuriated with my own self. He did not deserve such pleasant consideration. Surely, I would not buy him a present. Or would I? I shook my head adamantly. I was a walking contradiction.
What a hopeless cause.
Why was I thinking of him on this beautiful sunny day?
o o o
Pushing the remaining garment in the overflowing suitcase, I closed the charcoal carry-on and wiped the sweating beads from my forehead with the back of my hand.
My studious roommate paused from her genetics textbook and casted a glance at my packing efforts. She told me with a beam, "that must be exciting to see your friends again."
I nodded cheerfully. "What about you? What are your plans for spring break?"
"I just want to get ahead in my classes. I'll probably go home and spend some time with my family and my books."
"Don't study too hard Amy, it's a vacation you know."
She grinned as she steadied the black rimmed glasses perched on her nose. "I think studying is relaxing."
"Well, have a good spring break Amy!" I said goodbye and realized I was running late with a quick peek at the clock. The patient cab on the corner of the street thankfully waited for my arrival and while fastening my seat belt, I smiled again, eager to depart the college town.
Quite easily, I spotted the dark locks of my best friend as I made my way down the wide staircase of the terminal, dragging my luggage down the steps. She gave me a joyful smirk and waved her hand impatiently. I noticed the tall young man standing next to her and my smile widened. Raye had decided to pursue her education in psychology and had picked the best university program the nation offered. Without an afterthought, Chad had followed her, unwilling to give up his pursuit of claiming her love. They were a beautiful vision and as I approached them, the independent woman before me embraced me in a bear hug.
"I've missed you!"
I laughed. "Me too. It's not the same without my girlfriends. You too, Chad," I added quickly when he mocked resentment.
"I'm glad this day finally arrived. Raye cannot stop talking about your visit," he replied merrily before his girlfriend punched him nonchalantly in the arm.
By the baggage claim, the festive chatter started and continued until we reached her dorm room. It was good to be amidst longtime friends again.
o o o
Under the canopy of trees, basked in the warm sunshine, my mind wandered on its own to a well-known individual. I did not know why I was still thinking of him. I wondered how he was, if he knew the burning mark he had placed upon my heart. No matter if he never returned my feelings, he would be known as my first love, a realization I could not change with all my strength and desire. Peace washed over me like waves of a calm sea after a turbulent storm and I sighed, wondering why my attachment to him did not fade away. I could not forget him but life would go on after all. A dark haired girl gently summoned me back to reality as if she already knew where my trail of thoughts had leaded me. I gave her a bright smile, reassuring her that I was leaving engraved memories in the dusty and stormy path. I joined the forgotten conversation once more, chasing away the futile daydreams of my first love and heartache.
"He never loved me," I exclaimed bitterly, my previous resolve of keeping this particular subject silent gone with the rich warm concoction I gulped down.
In a swift motion, Chad grabbed my shoulders, shaking me violently as if he was waking me up from a nightmare. "You're wrong Serena," he declared with ardor. His chocolate brown eyes were staring at me intently.
"Chad is right," Raye quietly chimed in, before she furiously rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's harsh and direct manner. "This wasn't how you were supposed to convince her."
"Convince me of what?" I said suddenly suffocating from this turn of events.
The dim light of the contemporary floor lamp casted an eerie glow on my two friends and I gasped at their concerned expressions which no longer hid the knowledge they appeared to possess.
"Serena, Darien loves you. Chad had been in contact with him and he told him everything," Raye revealed all at once, reaching for my arm across the table. She squeezed my hand in an attempt to reassure me of her words.
My heart was pounding and I gasped for the second time, unaware that my cheeks were flushed from anger and disbelief. "How dare you say this to me?" I suddenly said, unable to control my mind racing and still reeling from the news.
"Serena…" Raye began slowly, comprehending the impact of her words.
"No, don't say anything more. Please, I beg you. I'm finally starting to get my act back together and I cannot handle this, I cannot go back and hope for something that will never be."
My friends nodded in unison and reluctantly, they pushed the demanding matter and dismissed the conversation after awhile. I knew what they were attempting to do but I stubbornly refused to let hope stumble on its tedious path back to my heart. The next few days were spent in a silent truce concerning him and I was grateful that they gave me the peace I had craved anxiously.
On my way back from the airport, I woke up from a nap colored with past memories. I opened my eyes, feeling slightly disoriented from the reality. Without any other choices, I embraced the emptiness now present, brought by the fleeting happiness and comfort of those images. They were disappearing before my eyes, escaping back to the corners of mind and I suddenly wondered if they would always cover thoughts and worries alike, like an impenetrable blanket of security. I groaned furiously. They were only memories of the past, of an aching young man.
o o o
My chemistry lab class required four hours a week in the confined of a bright classroom filled with white lab coats and fumes arising from unsuccessful experiments. I was assigned a partner at the beginning of the semester and he and I had developed a friendship of some sort while attempting the latest assignment. It was another day behind the unflattering safety goggles that we were racing against time and I shakily poured the light brown bubbly liquid into the beaker. The deeming sunlight which entered through the large glass windows of the room and the incessant humming from the clock above the elements table reminded me too well that there were thirty minutes left before the experiment was to be over.
"Did you weight the crystals?" my lab partner asked, holding the tray of transparent minuscule rocks in his hand.
"Yes, you can go ahead," I mentioned quickly, concentrating on the boiling formula before me. "But Seiya, don't forget the lid this time," I recalled to him and he laughed as we both remembered last week's incident.
After class, we walked together, both starving and in the search of food to appease the hunger that developed from working fervently for an entire afternoon. Thankfully, the popular burger joint on campus was bare of the usual dinner crowd. We quickly sneaked in the quiet restaurant and grabbed our meals, before the wait for orders would inevitably grow against the brick wall as the oversized retro square clock ticked closer to eight.
Momentarily forgotten by my appetite, I finally continued the conversation I had with Seiya concerning his past. He was an exchange student from Japan and the varied but rich culture from his country was a fascinating topic. Engrossed in his colorful and vibrant depictions and the soft way he spoke in the foreign language, I tossed my fries aside and let him pull me in a world I longed to visit thanks to his lively storytelling.
"Hey, can I ask you a question?" he solicited suddenly, decisively switching topics.
"Of course, what do you want to know?"
"You talk a lot about your family and friends, but you never mention a boyfriend. Are you single?"
I cautiously pondered his question. I was single but my heart was chained to the ghost of an individual. Pushing the bitterness aside, I replied, "Yeah, I guess I am."
"Would you like to go on a date with me?"
"What?" I asked, shock clearly painted on my features. I had expected a friendly prying and was abruptly unprepared for his request.
"I think you're great Serena and I'd like to get to know you more. How about a movie and dinner on Saturday?"
It seemed at first an unfathomable thought that I was considering his proposal but Seiya was a handsome and nice guy and I could not think of any reasonable answer to decline. The back of my mind silently whispered the name of a familiar character but I was inclined to forget it at the moment. To take a step forward would allow me to stop dwelling in the murky waters of the past. I plastered a smile at my companion and nodded affirmatively.
We dated a few times afterwards and each outing ended with a chaste kiss. He was a wonderful being and we had a fun time together. Ultimately, I was unable to forget him completely and my heart was gradually closing its doors, hesitant to accept any individual who posed himself as a romantic interest. Despite the deterrent setback, my determination did not waver and grew with each passing day.
Furthermore, my social life certainly kept me occupied as I regained a newfound identity. Spending time with friends was reinvigorating and a pleasant pastime that I had almost forgotten due to my disastrous and sullen depression. After my visit with Raye, I decided to catch up with my newly acquainted friends at the university on a regular basis. In addition to spending time with Seiya, I also had Amy and Lita.
My roommate and I had become closer during the beginning of the second semester and we often went to the cafeteria together for our meals and for a quick midnight snack in the late hours of the night. Lita was my partner in crime during shopping excursions and we drove to the mall every so often, our wallets drained but our arms satisfied with the weight of bags filled to the rim with the latest fashionable attire. I was beginning to truly enjoy the freedom of college and the companions I encountered along the way.
o o o
A Wednesday evening, after burying my nose in textbooks at the library for the last two hours, I came back to the dorms, unaware that my roommate had let a stranger into our room. A yawn escaped me and I looked around, suddenly noticing the unidentified presence.
But he was no stranger, I made note bitterly.
His dark blue eyes and jet black hair were unmistakable. He was sitting on my bed, perusing the high school pictures I had used to decorate the bare gray walls. I winced slightly and closed the door. At the small thump, he turned and smiled warily.
"Darien, what are you doing here?" I asked, suddenly infuriated at his presence. I did not realize that my lip was quivering until I sat down by Amy's closet, the furthest location from where he was. I braced myself and retained my angry scowl. What right did he have to assault my life months later?
He ran his hand through his disheveled hair and sighed, before uttering the infamous words.
"We need to talk."