Chapter Four
"… and really, the idea of an intergalactic federation peopled with different species interacting in a commonly understood system of barter and trade ..."
"Sheldon!" Leonard interrupted impatiently.
"What?"
"Can we forget about Star Wars for a minute, please?" he begged.
Sheldon stood up, affronted. "Forget about one of the most classic films ever created? Forget about the genius of letting the so-called 'bad guys'" he bent his fingers into quotation marks before continuing, "win in Empire? Forget about Luke Skywalker's epic struggle with the fact that…" he cut himself off and looked over at Penny. "You-know-who is you-know-who's father," he stage whispered.
"Sheldon, honey," Penny said matter-of-factly. "You're not going to spoil it for me. Anyone who hasn't spent their life under a rock knows that Dark Vader is Luke Skywhatever's father."
This time, both men were reduced to merely sputtering at her mangling of the character's names.
"… Just kidding," she laughed, giving Tracy a high five.
Sheldon shook his head in disgust. "Leonard, I know that you're nowhere near as intelligent as I am…"
"I would't say 'nowhere near'" Leonard muttered.
"… but I just can't understand why you're investing such an emotional stake in a… a…"
"…A?" Penny asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.
Sheldon back away slightly until he was protected by Leonard's form. "A layperson," he finished lamely.
"Is that bad?" Penny whispered in Leonard's ear.
"It is to Sheldon, but not to normal people," he reassured her, patting her back gently.
Tracy, meanwhile, had come to a conclusion. "Wait a second," she piped up from her chair. No one really listened to her through all of the glaring going on above her head. "We don't know anyone named Cheryl, and Carol totally has daddy issues."
"I know, but I'd rather let Howard have sex with her than have to deal with one of her moods," Penny dismissed it with a wave of her hand.
Tracy nodded in agreement.
Sheldon accepted the logic.
Leonard remembered why he was upset in the first place and took off down the hall, screaming for them not to touch any of his action figures.
Raj and Ru looked at him quizzically as they came back down the hallway, holding hands.
"And what were you too up to?" Penny asked in a wheedling tone.
"You're looking awfully cozy," Tracy smirked. So far, she was the only one not getting any tonight. She glanced over at Sheldon and sized him up. Looked like she was going to remain the only one not getting any tonight. Damnit.
Raj blushed brightly and looked at the floor, unable to hide his proud grin. Ru faced the girls down and dropped his hand, crossing her arms. "Raj was just showing me around the apartment is all," she replied defensively. Her brows furrowed slightly. "He couldn't explain why one of the rooms had an electronic lock with a number code, palm scanner, and voice identifier, though."
Sheldon stepped proudly forward. "That would be my bedroom," he offered, chest puffing out as far as possible on his frame. When everyone just stared at him in confusion and/or disbelief, he decided he should continue the explanation. "I decided, when Leonard told me about this farce of a social occasion, that I would be well-advised to protect my room, especially given the events which transpired with Penny's stuffed animals the last time Howard was invited to interact with her friends." He paused while Penny refused to elabourate upon this to her friends. "As a result, I have outfitted my bedroom with a state-of-the-art security system with fail-safes, redundancies, and measures enough to ensure that my own childhood memories of nuclear reactors and killer robots need never be sullied by Wolowitz' ejaculate."
Penny and friends all took a moment to gag while Raj nodded in appreciation of a plan well-thought-out and executed.