"Where were you, Steph?"

"I told you I might not be there, Derek."

"But I didn't think you actually wouldn't!"

"C'mon, I don't have to do absolutely everything with you every Friday night, do I?"

"So what did you do that was better than hanging out with me?"

Stephanie sat down on her bed, starting to wish she hadn't called Derek.

"I went and hung out with Virgil."

"Virgil? Anyone else?"

"Well, Charlie, Zeke, and Jeanette were there too."

"No way! Stephanie, what's wrong with you?!"

Stephanie felt tears prick at her eyes. "Derek," she said softly, "I needed someone to talk to, not someone to nag at me."

"You're right, Steph. I'm sorry. What did you want to talk about?"

She opened her mouth, then shut it. She had wanted to tell him that Zeke was a foster child, but something made her rethink doing it.

"Stephanie?"

She sighed. "Look, I'm sorry I bailed on you but I had a really good time."

"Did any one see you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did any of the popular people from school see you hanging out with them?"

"No, we were at, uh, we were at Zeke's house. Why would it matter anyways?"

"I don't know, it's just, well, I don't want you to totally ruin your reputation by hanging out with them."

Stephanie frowned. "Or is it that you don't want me to ruin your reputation?"

"Stephanie, come on, don't be like that. You're my girl, I care about you and what other people think."

"No, Derek," she whispered.

"What?"

"You've always just cared about what people think about you. You don't care who you hurt, so long as you're still popular."

"Steph, what are you talking about? Of course I care about you."

"When did you stop caring about Virgil?"

"I, uh, I didn't."

"Then why does it matter if I hang out with him?"

"It's not Virgil, ok Steph." Derek sounded more annoyed than genuine. "It's Charlie and that other guy."

"Zeke! His name is Zeke."

"Whatever, Stephanie."

"No, not whatever!" Her voice started to rise as a tear slid down her face. "If you really cared about Virgil you would care about them, too. They're his friends!"

"Well that's his fault that he chose loser friends after ditching us."

"Ditching us?! Derek, we ditched him if anything! What happened that first day of freshman year..."

"Look, Steph," Derek interrupted, "calm down, ok? It doesn't matter what happened then..."

"Derek!" Now it was Stephanie that was interrupting. Her voice became suddenly quiet and sad. "What happened to you?"

"What do you mean, Steph?"

"I mean you don't care about anyone anymore! All you care about is yourself and being popular. Even our relationship is only about you. If being the head cheerleader's boyfriend will keep you popular you'll stick with it, even if you'd rather be with Jocelyn Lee! I don't know how long it's been like this, or if it's been this way the whole time and I was just too blind to see it, or didn't see it because I didn't want to see it."

"Steph, c'mon, you're taking this way too far." Stephanie heard the words, and wanted to believe them, but the boy on the other end of the phone didn't sound very sure of himself.

"Am I, Derek?"

"Oh man Stephanie I am so sorry, but I have to go. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Ok."

"Hey, it's ok, all right?"

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me we will talk about it."

"We will, promise. Now I gotta go."

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye."

Stephanie hung up the phone and laid back on her bed with a groan. Something told her Derek really wouldn't want to talk about it. She realized that she didn't want to, either. She quickly grabbed her diary and started writing.

How can I keep ignoring this? she wrote. I wish I could pretend like it wasn't happening, like these obvious problems weren't so obvious. I've kinda tried to just ignore things that Derek says, but it's not working anymore. He's not the same guy he used to be. At least I don't think he is. Or was he always this guy? Am I just seeing it now? Like I told him a few minutes ago, he doesn't care anymore. All he cares about is himself. I don't really want to be his girlfriend anymore. I would so much rather hang out with Virgil, and even Charlie and Zeke. They seem pretty cool. At least I think they do. I don't know what to think of anything anymore! It looks like I have two choices. Either I stay with Derek, stay popular, and go on being friends with Virgil just in the background, basically keep my life the way it is now. But I feel like that life is a lie. Or I can break up with Derek, be friends with Virgil and his friends, and stop being popular. What am I supposed to do? I just feel so...torn.