The next call for Ed led him to an empty park on the other side of the city. Roy had dropped him off and gone into hiding in order to observe, not wanting to subject Ed to another peanut butter incident.
Ed sat down on the specified bench and waited. Finally, his date arrived. She was a pretty woman in her early twenties. She sat down next to him and introduced herself as Sally.
After they talked about random stuff for about half an hour, Sally took Ed's hand and led him to an ice cream parlor. They got ice cream and wandered around the city for a while.
After a while, Roy got bored and realized that Sally was a perfectly normal lady, despite the fact that she was dating a fifteen-year-old midget. He went back to work, since he was getting behind due to all this dating nonsense that he had started but didn't want to end because it was amusing to see Ed in such awkward situations.
They wandered around for another hour or so before Sally brought Ed back to the park. There, she sat down on a bench. Ed sat down next to her. She turned her face away.
"Um, is something wrong?" Ed asked.
"No, no. Today was wonderful. It's just that…" Sally paused a moment. "I WANT CHILDREN DAMN IT! LET'S GET MARRIED!"
Ed fell off the bench in surprise. "Married? Um, I'm still a little young for that…"
"I DON'T CARE! I NEED KIDS!"
Ed looked around, hoping to see Roy spying on him somewhere nearby. Sadly, Roy had gone back to work, so Ed had to get himself out of this situation on his own. He stood up and slowly backed away. Sally stood up, a scary glint in her eye.
"You can't escape! I will make sure you become my bride!"
"Don't you mean husband?" Ed shouted back to her as he ran away.
"Yeah! You're going to be my husband!"
Ed sprinted through the park with Sally hot on his trail. After a while, he got far enough away so that he could use some alchemy. He brought his hands together and placed them on the ground. Nothing happened.
Sally tackled Ed to the ground and pushed his face into the ground. "Ha, this ground right here isn't what you think it is. I had a feeling you'd try to run away, so I coated it with dirt from Florida, which is completely different from any other kind of dirt you'll ever see."
"Damn it, I don't want to marry you! And where the hell is Florida, anyway?"
"It doesn't matter! I have you now!"
Just then, Al came running up with his army of kittens. The kittens all jumped on Sally, who ran away screaming with a bunch of kitten claws in her skin. Al helped his brother up.
"Are you okay?"
"No. If I have one more crazy lady tackle me on a date, I'm leaving the military. There isn't much that's worth this."
"Don't worry, brother. I'll make sure things don't turn out like this again, okay?"
"Yeah, thanks."