Disclaimer: Mine? If it was, it probably wouldn't be a world-wide bestseller.
Harry: Now, about the movies…
Hermoine: And it begins…
Harry: …they are even worse than the books!
Ron: There, you have a point. It has been proven by many Harry Potter fans that the movies are quite different from the books and, sometimes, completely off topic.
Hermoine: Oh Ron, stop trying to act smart. What he means to say is that the movies often differ from the books.
Ron: indignant THAT IS WHAT I SAID!
Harry: quite flattered I have fans…?
Hermione: You see, the first two movies were pretty good with staying true to the books, but the third one was incredibly off, and it only got worse from there.
Author: appears So true!
Ron: Oh, not you again!
Author: Watch it, Ronald. Remember, in this fic I control your entire existence.
Ron: snorts What can you do? You're just a muggle!
Suddenly, Ron fell into a pit of spiders. As he writhed in agony from the combined bites of a thousand or more of the awful creatures, he realized-
Ron: OK! OK! I'M SORRY!
Author: smugly Author: 1, Ron: 0
Hermoine: clears throat About the movies…
Author: Well, the third movie was off on several things. And by several things, I mean AT LEAST HALF OF THEM!
Ron: Sirius and Lupin were FUG-ly…
Hermoine: Well, the fourth one wasn't that bad. It didn't leave out anything important.
Author: Though I would've loved to see the Sphinx…
Harry: The fifth movie made me seem schitzo.
Ron: You friggin' ARE!
Harry: bawls ARE NOT!
Author: thoughtfully Umbrige kinda reminded me of my grandma…
Silence
Ron: Wow…you're grandma's a b!tch…
Author: People think that, yeah.
Harry: changing the subject Has anyone noticed that, ever since the fourth movie, they've been trying to put Ginny in as much as possible, and at the most random times?
Hermoine: Now that you mention it…
Ron: Yeah…
Author: Probably to prepare for the sixth movie, because it would be totally stupid if she suddenly became a main character.
Harry: Yeah, but she just shows up at the most random times-
Ginny: suddenly appears HIYA!
Harry: screams AHHHHH!
Author: Like that?
Harry: You B!TCH!
Author and Ron high-five
Ron: laughing hysterically You shoulda seen your face-!
Hermoine: irritated The MOVIES-?
Author: Yeah, yeah, keep your hair on.
Ginny: Ilikemyhair!
Harry: You really need to stop taking so many drugs, Ginny. mutters to himself …like a fricken' Chihuahua…
Ginny: indignant Idon'ttakeanydrugs!
Harry: Alcohol?
Ginny: No.
Harry: Sniff glue?
Ginny: Nope.
Author: Her leave-in conditioner probably soaks into her scalp at night and clogs up the blood vessels in her brain.
Ginny: total airhead Whaat..?
Harry: shrugs Makes sense.
Ron: finally catching on DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SISTER THAT WAY!
Author: Or it runs in the family…
Ron: like his sister Whaat?
Author: Author: 2, Ron: 0
Ginny: excitedly Oh! Oh! Icancounttotwo!
Hermoine: Oh lord…
Author: humoring Ginny Oh, that's awesome! Why don't we have a party! points to two menacing looking doors on the other side of the room First, let's play a game. Behind one door is a giant pile of CANDY!-
Ginny: totally excited OOOOOOHHHHH!
Author: -But behind the other door is a pit full of rabid monkeys!
Ginny: doesn't hear because she's still about to wet herself over the candy
Author: Now…GO!
Ginny runs to the door on the left. They all hear a painful, drawn-out scream
Hermoine: Guess she picked the one with the monkeys.
Author: closes the door Ginny went through The pile of candy was poisoned anyway…
Ron: slow as always You killed my sister!
Harry: Actually, the monkeys killed her.
Ron: YOU KILLED MY SISTER!
Author: No, I didn't.
Ron: YOU KILLED- Oh, look, a butterfly! chases after conveniently placed butterfly
Author: Author: 3, Ron: 0.
Hermoine: Does Ron have ADHD?
Harry: It would explain so much…
Ron: comes back, looking sad It got away…
Harry: pauses What were we talking about again?
Hermoine: We were-
Author: ticks off tingers Well, we were making fun of Ginny…
Hermoine: It was-
Author: But before that…
Hermoine: THE TOPIC-!
Author: snaps fingers Oh yeah! We were talking about the Harry Potter movies!
Hermoine: DUH.
Author: gives Hermoine Look of Doom™
Hermoine: shifts uneasily
Author: So what have we all learned?
Ron: No way! I'm NOT doing that again! You made me look stupid.
Author: I wouldn't do it if it wasn't so easy to do.
Ron: …
Harry: Author: 4, Ron: 0.
Ron: I hate you all.
Harry: NOW who's schitzo?
Author: What have we learned? (LOOK OF DOOM™!)
Harry, Ron, and Hermoine: That all we have to do is wait for the rest of the Harry Potter movies to come out, and then the remakes will start. And we will all be happy.
Author: Exactly.
Ron: Wait…MY SISTER'S DEAD?!
Author, Harry, and Hermoine: smack foreheads
FIN
Please R&R!:)