Snow White with a Problem
Snow White was a girl in Extraordinarily Long Names land. She used to have a loving mother and father, but the mother died just so Snow White's father could get a new wife.
This new wife was called Long Haired Girl (very random), and was very pretty and kind. But since fairy tales can't work with all good people, the father also married an evil queen. The queen would ask her blind mice who was the prettiest in the world, and they always replied, "Squeak," which was a very satisfying answer since her name was Squeak.
But one day, Squeak got a Magic 8 Ball from Dollar Tree, and asked if she was the prettiest in the world. The ball replied, "My sources say no." Enraged, she destroyed the ball and had to pay a 10 fine.
Well, Snow White found a boyfriend, to which Squeak was very jealous of. So she sent a pencil sharpener to kill Snow White. Well, the pencil sharpener ran out of batteries, and Snow White was found by her boyfriend, who wanted to ask if they could study for the college entrance exam together.