The eighth chapter!! I hope you guys like this one! Oh, but don't blame me if I don't know how a Walkman works. I don't know how it works, but I'm going to pretend that you can connect it to a sound system to play the music aloud.
FEATURED SONG:"Cry" by Faith Hill. If you haven't heard it yet, you can go search for it on YouTube or I can e-mail it for you if you'd like. (Hey, who wouldn't turn down free music??)
Vocabulary:
"Tomare" - It's like "stop" or "stop it" in Japanese.
The first half is told from the third POV, and after "Cry" starts playing, it will be from the third person's POV again.
Chapter 8
Hazed. Aya Minase's usual red eyes have turned hazed, like smog. Her mind was utterly blank, too, and she thought of absolutely nothing as she stared out the airplane window. It's the day after the dance, and Seigaku had bordered a plane, going back to Tokyo.
The long, winter nightmare was over.
At the dance, things sort of became tangled—girls rushed over towards Fuji, various drinks swishing in their cups that they held, hopeful about offering the tensai a drink. Nothing exactly happened. No romance, no fires, no kisses or tears of regret. Nothing. That seemed like the perfect word to describe the recent situation. Nothing changed but a certain pair of people's attitudes toward each other.
Miyu shuffled and sat next to Aya. She wasn't sure if her blank-looking friend was all right. "That was some boring night, huh?" she beamed, trying to start a positive conversation. "I mean, they didn't even have music. I'm glad this trip is over, don't you think?"
Aya nodded, eyeing the clouds.
"Um. ...What's wrong?"
She smiled and tried to make a joke about Fuji and herself: "He dumped me," she wanted to say, but it came out: "Dummy."
It wasn't that they were a couple in the beginning, anyhow. But nothing happened. Aya wanted something to happen, so it wouldn't feel like eternity. Just say that you have nothing to do with me, get it over with, so I can move on with my life. In a way, this getaway will haunt her for a long time, because Fuji didn't say anything, and she sure as hell isn't going to say anything back unless he does first. And since nothing happened, Fuji's not someone important anymore.
"Hey, I'm just worried! I'm not dumb," Miyu huffed proudly, taken aback by the insult. "I'm on the honor roll."
"What's Fuji doing right now?"
"Eh? Oh. Um..." Miyu looked back, trying to find Fuji.
Fuji Syuusuke was sitting with the regulars and a crowd of girls was starting to gather around, listening in on their conversations.
He is still smiling.
"He's sitting with his friends."
"Ha!" Aya scoffed, smirking to herself. That came out involuntarily, like a sneeze. Fuji's sitting with his friends, like he always does.
Soon, a chaperone stood at the front of the aisle and shouted at the students to shut up. She announced that they would land in Tokyo in about 15 minutes. "Everyone secure their seatbelts! You!" she pointed at the fan-girls crowding in the backseat, "Disperse!"
Miyu stared at Aya, then stared at the smiling Fuji, then stared at the giggling fan-girls. She stared back at Aya again. "Those girls don't have decent lives and shouldn't hang around Fuji all the time," she said, trying to make Aya feel better. "I'm glad you're not like one of those fan-girls."
Aya smiled faintly, then stared back into the window again.
----------------------
"Thank God you're home!!"
Aoi rushed up to Aya as soon as she stepped through the door of their home. "Ma is a mess!" she whispered loudly, shaking her little sister by her shoulders.
"What's wrong with her?" Aya asked, pushing her away.
"Re-member?" Aoi gave her a look of disgust mixed with sympathy. "Dad's...death anniversary is tomorrow!"
"I didn't forget."
"So do something! I'll take care of Ma—you go out and buy flowers for him!"
She pushed her outside and slammed the door in Aya's face. The wind howled slightly as skeletal leaves brushed on the sidewalk. OK, it hadn't been 30 seconds since Aya was finally home, and she was once again pushed outside. Way to be welcomed back, Aya thought sarcastically. She turned on her heels and started to walk to the nearest flower shop, not that she actually knew where she was going. School was going to start in another week, and she's got to enjoy the rest of her break. She made plans in her mind, maybe hang out with Miyu at her place tomorrow. For some reason, as she walked, she didn't think of her father as she should, but she thought of Fuji.
The pretty boy, she thought, eyes narrowing. He's got silkier hair than me. How is that possible?
Have you ever heard of a good-riddance list? A good-riddance list was supposed to contain all of the bad qualities in a guy, and Aya wanted to make one for Fuji, because she can't get him out of her mind. "Might as well get it over with," Aya said, hopeful that after she made the list, he'd get out of her head. The sun was still high in the sky, and Aya took a piece of blue chalk that was in the sidewalk and scribbled, Stupid hair! on the sidewalk. Always calling me by –san. What a jerk-off!
He probably uses hand lotion!
Smiles all the time. Can you spell "annoying"?
Moronic ass
"Ha!" Aya smiled, satisfied with the list so far. She read and reread the list, adding, Friends with giggly twit. She threw what was left of the chalk on the ground, then grinded it up with her feet, turning the bottom of her white flip-flops blue. She was going to have to make a new list when she gets home. "Good riddance."
It isn't so much that I'm angry at Fuji, she thought. But since I'll never talk to him again, I might as well enjoy making fun of him. He's a nobody to me now.
Aya resumed her walking. She dug inside her shorts pocket to find her Walkman and jammed the headphones over her ears. It's no use thinking about some pretty boy with silky hair. Focus on getting your precious father flowers.
Father. Aya's pace slowed when she lowered the volume; she was listening to heavy metal—this broke her heart—because her dad used to be in a rock band before he went to law school. They never played outside of that small town, though, so the world never saw what they could do. His band's biggest gig was playing at the grand opening of a theme park in a city, but they never played after that, because his tumor was growing worse—and the next thing you know, he transferred from the hospital to a graveyard.
She missed him more than ever now. She needed him now. To soothe her hair and play her a soft song on his guitar and say it's going to be all right, you're going to make it through.
He was childish, but he was artistic, and that made an impression on her.
The grocery store came into clear view, and a floral shop could be seen two building down. She dashed for it.
"Ohayo," she panted, slamming through the door and making the doorbell ring loudly. "I need flowers. Doesn't matter what kind."
A teenage girl who was hoisting a magazine with one hand stood behind the counter. She held a finger to her lips when she saw Aya, a message to stay quiet, for she was on the phone. "Uhn-huh. Uhn-huh. Like, I know," she snapped into the phone. A firm voice from the other line said a few words, sounding very angry. She snapped the phone shut on him, irritated, but then put on a so-it-goes smile when she faced Aya.
"My boyfriend. You know how they are," she said, shaking her head.
"Oh, I totally know what you mean..."
...if I only had one.
Once Aya was outside with a dozen lilies sitting in her lap, she crossed and re-crossed her legs. She should probably go home, set the flowers by her father's memorial, with the burning incense prickling her nostrils and the blurry photograph of him smiling at her. Olive skin; thick, dark hair. But she didn't want to think about it.
Let's go for a walk, her feet insisted, and don't worry about going back home. Just walk.
She walked aimlessly into Tokyo, stopping by once or twice under a tree by the freeway to stare at frisky squirrels plowing their way through a retreating horde of pigeons, both species wanting to get their share of the spilled breadcrumbs that littered the opposite side of the street. She bought a latte at a café, but as soon as she took one sip, she lost her appetite and gave it to a guy who was selling CDs on a piece of discarded clothing. He took it gratefully. She went into the nearby mall, staring at the latest line of spring skirts on display, making tapping noises on the glass with her fingers. She exited into the parking lot, still feeling blank. What was it exactly that she wanted to do? She ruled out going to the park; it was a Saturday, and she had heard from Miyu that Saturday was the day when many cuddly couples held hands and walked along the rim of the lake together. Ugh.
Aya was supposed to write her father's eulogy on the day of his funeral. She was too short for the microphone and had to lower it, making it squeal. The gathered guests smiled a little at this, tears streaming down their windburned faces. Aya was nervous at first.
--
"My name is Aya Minase, and I am Daichi Minase's daughter. We are gathered here today to mourn."
Faint laughter.
"He was a great father, a great friend, a great person. I loved him, and always will."
There were small nods and smiles of agreement. One of her dad's band members, the one who played the drums, blew his nose in a handkerchief.
"I liked his songs that he played for me if I were upset."
--
Night came, and the bright sky turned pink, then turned black. The city soon sparkled alive with lights. Aya stuck her hands inside her pockets and trudged on, kicking aluminum cans on the street.
It wasn't long before she came upon the street tennis place.
Aya thought she heard faint laughter from those courts and the sound of tennis balls in the air. She lingered below, staring up at the long flight of stairs and the bright white light. She wasn't going to go up there. She turned to leave when she recognized a girl's giggle in the faint air.
Aya had lost her mind—she was walking up the pathway to the courts. The light got brighter and she could see the edges of the green court now. The voices were also getting louder by each step. Is An there? Is Seishun there? What was she going to say when she got up there? What was going to happen once she got up there? Would everyone turn and see her approach? Would they just ignore her and continue with what they're doing up there?
"Shit!" she cussed, realizing that one of her flip-flops broke. There was nothing she could do to fix it, so she just abandoned it on the stairs. She can almost imagine what An has to say about it: Just why are you wearing one shoe?
The light soon turned yellowish, and she realized that there was a bonfire—a Japanese festival? She squinted her eyes once she was at the top of the stairs, the light and a flying tennis ball dropped to the ground and rolled to the tip of her feet. With a gasp, she quickly hid the shoeless foot behind the other and looked around to see if anyone noticed her yet.
She spotted a hooting Momo in the crowd. Heart stoppage—if Momo was here, then the rest of the Seishun tennis team had to be here, too. And what looked like Fudomine was here. But the most mind-blowing thing was that there seemed like a hundred other boys and a few girls that she didn't know were there, all wearing kimonos. Talking, laughing, eating, having fun by a bonfire. They were all not on the courts, but were crowding around the courts, in the grass, watching the current game. A boy with red hair banged on the drums. Aya was still in the shadows; no one saw her.
"Next up—Momoshiro from Seishun and Jiroh from Hyotei!"
A lot of cheering and murmuring went through the crowd. All eyes were on the two boys who were entering the court, peeling off their kimonos, revealing a layer of T-shirts and sports shorts underneath. They both looked pretty determined. Oh, the mysterious stranger—Atobe—is here, too? Aya noticed him sitting on a chair, crossing one leg over the other with a tall, bulky guy standing next to him. He was smirking. So, everybody must know everybody here, don't they? The drums in the background raised a tempo; the little match was about to begin.
"I've got it!" called a voice, suddenly. Momo.
The next thing Aya knew, the spotlight was on Momo, who was dashing towards the tennis ball.
Aya held her breath when the boys turned to see who the outsider was.
A roar went through the crowd. A duck-billed boy was the first one to exclaim: "Kawaii dane!"
"Who is she? I think I've seen her hang outside of Seigaku once."
"I've never seen her here before."
Murmurs spread through them all in just one second. "Aya-chan!" Eiji, with a caramel apple in his mouth, exclaimed. But she kept her eyes on one boy in particular, who has not noticed her and was talking with another guy, two fingers placed rationally on his chin.
You guessed it—Seishun's very famous tennis prodigy and the 2nd best player on the tennis team, Fuji.
Aya was just deciding whether she'd stick around or start walking away when she heard a girl's voice call her name.
It seemed like An grew prettier every time Aya saw her, whether if she's wearing a pink miniskirt or an evening gown. She emerged from the crowd, her small figure clad in another fabulous outfit: a silky pink kimono that was decorated with sakura pedals. She wore two matching pink burettes on her smooth hair with butterflies at the tip, and her bangs bobbed when she placed one hand on her waist, her manicured nails making a V-shaped imprint on the fabric. Surprisingly enough, she looked surprised to see Aya. "What are you doing here?"
Aya was still clutching the lilies behind her back, the Walkman earphones still ringing with Western music. She removed them from her ears; Momo stepped aside when the two faced each other.
Aya could see An studying her outfit: crème shorts, a black tank top, and, when An raised a small eyebrow when looking down at her feet, Aya cringed. As for her make-up and accessories, Aya only had a bit of eyeliner, a silver choker, and a hair band on her wrist. Nothing too glamorous compared to An, who looked like she could pull it off as a kimono model. "Um, I was just passing by," Aya said, trying not to wriggle her toes.
"So...do you want to join us? We got a permit for the bonfire," An said, nodding at the fire.
Most of the guys have lost interest and have started to talk again. Aya gripped the lilies tighter and smiled. "Oh, that's okay. I was just...on my way somewhere."
"Where?"
"Stay with us, Aya-chan!" Eiji waved at her. "It'll be fun, nya!"
"Uh..." Aya brushed her bangs behind her ear. Where? She was on her way to nowhere, to speak the truth. But suddenly, music—soft, J-pop music—started playing in the air, and now everybody was standing up.
"An?" Momo interrupted, his cheeks flushed. He looked around as if someone might hear what he was going to say. "Would you...?" He nodded toward the crowd, catching a glimpse of a stumbling Sakuno in the arms of Ryoma, slow-dancing. His cheeks flushed as he shrugged.
"Uh..." Her stammer hanged in the air. The silence was deadly. "I'm really sorry, but--"
Momo's shoulders dropped.
"—I've already asked Fuji." Her cheeks flushed: "It's just that...I really like him."
----------------------
-Aya-
I know that I swore to myself to never get discouraged, to be strong after my father's untimely death, but as much as I tried to control myself, I watched An with great intensity when she stammered in front of Momo, trying to explain about her crush, alias the guy that I truly despise.
"It's just that..." She bowed her head, blushing. "I really like him."
I have been really psycho these days, but in spite of all the craziness, what I did next was totally unheard of to any therapist: I laughed. A heavy, heartfelt, psychotic laugh that was not at all attractive, like An's giggle. It wasn't at all like the Ben & Jerry laugh, either. Instead, it was more mindless and utterly unstoppable.
Oh, An, you don't say! You like Fuji? Yeah, that was a tough one to figure out, don't you think?
Craziness isn't something you'd use to describe me, but tonight, after An revealed her crush about Fuji, it seemed like all of the world stopped. I didn't care what others thought of me at this moment, because they are not there. They don't know anything. I think I have the right to say what I thought, which was, in case you needed a recap: I said, "Oh, you don't say! You like Fuji? Yeah, that was a tough one to figure out, don't you think?"
I smiled. Sweetly.
She abruptly turned to me, bangs clashing on her cheeks. "What?" she hissed.
"I mean, I had absolutely no idea! It's such a surprise to find out that you like him, you know? Because you never did anything about it." You've never, ever done anything that showed the slightest clue that you wanted Fuji in your clutches, such as planning an entire getaway for us and then telling everyone except me that you threw a little love fest on Christmas Eve.
Momo stepped back, much, much further back. More eyes were on me again. I could feel—not see, but literally feel—Fuji's open eyes, piercing and surprised.
"Gosh, An, you probably think I'm dumb, don't you?" I didn't let her answer and let her mouth hang open while I blurted, "It's like, what can a girl like me do? Could I open a bottle of water by myself? Can I dress myself in the morning?"
I opened my arms to show her my outfit. She was still scowling but seemed to be in shock that I was, for once, standing up for myself. I then lifted my knee, now loving the fact that I wasn't wearing a shoe on that foot. She glared at it and then glared at me.
The slow dance was interrupted. My fake smile was now replaced by a frown. My expression showed pure dislike that God probably hadn't intended on inventing for the human race. "Can I fucking dress myself in the morning?" I could feel the bystanders' shock in the air as the background music picked up another tempo. Satin must be so proud of me right now.
"Stop with the music!" An snapped. The music immediately stopped.
"That's okay!" I chirped. "Play the music. The festivities can't stop 'cause of stupid me. Hey, you know what?" I walked up to where the music came from, in the midst of all the chatter and whispering. My hands hovered around my Walkman earphones before I plugged it in the stereo system.
"You guys wanna hear a bit of Western culture?"
I cranked up the volume and hard rock overtook the atmospheric Japanese air.
"What are you doing?!" An tried pushing past me to unplug the music, but I held my ground. Her glistening lips were heavy with pink lip-gloss. "You're ruining everything!!"
Me? I'm ruining everything? Wasn't it you who made me feel like an idiot ever since the moment I met you? Wasn't it you who always butted into my new life, which was once actually eager at the thought of starting over? Wasn't it you who's always ruining everything?!
I pursed my lips and watched An's face turn red with anger.
"This is all your--!!"
Rustle.
A hand landed on her shoulder, and she bolted around.
The next few seconds were the longest that I could remember. My brain whirred a hundred miles a minute, trying to recall a time when time moved so slowly that I could barely stand because my head was thumping so hard. I couldn't. Because Fuji's face was so unreadable, with his eyes open and his mouth in a small frown. "An-chan," he said, looking down at her. The cackling light from the bonfire made a shadow on his forehead and casting a shade of orange and red on his face. His glowing cerulean eyes stood out more than ever. A white sports shirt peeked from under his navy blue kimono.
"Tomare," he said.
I also tried to remember when was the last time I'd seen him. Was it on the plane? Or was it off the plane, when I was at baggage claim? He didn't matter to me during the last day of our time in Yamanashiken, when I decided that I didn't need him in any way, shape, or form. He didn't matter to me when I saw him at the party and called him Fuji-san without sputtering or screaming or crying. He didn't matter to me when I was staring out the window on the plane, the clouds reflecting off my colorless eyes. Come on, he's a nobody.
But I wasn't half as sure now.
"It's all her fault, Fuji!! Look at what she's doing, just strumming in here uninvited," she said, stretching the emphasis on the word uninvited as if it meant something worse than just not welcome. "She's always ruining everything!!"
My heart surged. I wasn't so insane now, and I wanted to explain to her and to everyone that I wasn't here to ruin their night, but An spun around before I could say anything, her attention back on me.
"Have you even noticed how weird you act around Fuji-kun? You're always running away or stuttering or being upset about something completely stupid! Don't you know that Fuji-kun doesn't like you?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, looking both confused and irritated at the same time. I ignored Fuji and focused on An.
I tried to ignore Fuji and focus on An, because, truth be told: "Fuji-kun doesn't like you." My reaction to this was a phenomenon! Because at that statement, even if it's only a little bit, it shot through my fucking heart.
"You heard what I said! We're together now, and there's nothing you can do or say about it!!"
They're together? My eyes started shimmering and suddenly I was seeing stars crawl up An's kimono and on the trees around me. I knew ever since I was back to Tokyo and got off that plane that Fuji didn't like me, I really did. But I didn't know that he liked An either. In all the ways that he'd hurt me so far, all leading up to when he betrayed me when he didn't tell me about the stupid party, didn't hurt me as much as finding out that An and Fuji got together. I've seen a ton of fan-girls around him and he'd never flirted with any of them, so, here I am—naïve and not knowing that Fuji is actually a boy with hormones, that he'd be interested in girls like every other boy. It's as if I don't know him at all.
I looked irritated and spat, "Could you please shut up and tell me what--"
"Are you really that stupid?! He doesn't like you, Aya—"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!"
Moisture gathered at the corners of my eyes, mounding one on top of the other, daring to pour out. Please, no, not now! Not here! I blinked. Anywhere but here! The music on my Walkman had already finished, and I was afraid that without the loud music, people would draw attention to my eyes now.
She scowled, and said something so hurtful that, for the first time in my life, I've never felt so caught off-guard and couldn't even remember those words clearly. The teardrop felt itchy against my skin and salty when it fell from my lips and into my mouth.
"No wonder her father left her."
I wanted to die.
I clutched the lilies to my chest and walking out of that horrible place. Not running, but walking, and my footsteps echoes in my chest. I pass An, I pass Fuji.
Okay, so who really cares that I found myself naively being friends with the boy I'll never understand? Who cares that I can't face Fuji or even An anymore? Who cares that my father is dead? Nobody cares that I'm alone. First, it's my dad, and the friend that I thought I knew turned out to be somebody...totally different.
I just know that An is smirking when she says, "Oh, she's leaving. Isn't that a shame?"
I scratched the back of my hand against my cheek.
Idiot! no crying! I scolded myself, but the tears just kept dropping faster. Once it starts, you can't stop it; it's always been the same since kindergarten. You revive yourself from the numb state of shock to realize that it really does hurt to speak the truth. It was all my fault that my father died. I shouldn't have been so whiny about being clumsy and not having a boyfriend. He practically had to sing songs and brush the hair away from my face and make me hot chocolate every weekend, for chrissake!
What kind of daughter am I?
The always-tripping-on-everything, gaining-two-hundred-pounds-over-a-single-night-due-to-obsession-with-Ben-&-Jerry kind.
I was really tired of this Fuji crap.
But I hadto have one last revenge on An, who is now fully back into that bitch mode I despised.
I dropped the bouquet of lilies, snapped my hips around, and slapped An right across the face.
"KYAAAHH--!!" she screamed, staggering back, clutching her bleeding nose. My hand vibrated from the force of my slap. I stuck out my tongue.
"A-An-chan!!" Momo rushed forward to help her. A few other boys that I have never met rushed forward, too.
"Are you okay?!"
"Your nose is bleeding!"
"Who is this crazy girl?!"
They started rumors about me, about how I was a lunatic, right in front of my face. I heard, "I hear her mother's a widow," and "Her sister' goes to my brother's high school. She admitted that she used to be a dropout." I just smiled. I knew, I knew, that I was going to start crying once I left this place, but I couldn't let them see me cry right now. I proudly steadied my shaking body and tried to rush energy back inside me.
"You can't call me a crazy girl," I said, "because my dad's a lawyer, and he could sue your sorry ass right out of this country."
I have never said anything so wrong in front of so many people. The throbbing of my head was in unison with the beat of my voice and the rock in the background. Somebody suddenly unplugged the stereo and the music stopped. Without the beat, it was a whole lot more to bring in the reality, but being the lady that I always am, I gracefully turned around and walked away from the shocked boys.
"'Bye!" I called. Nobody said anything back; that was exactly how I'd anticipated it.
Once I made it to the bottom of the stairs and into the shadows, I wiped my eyes with my shirt and started to make my way home. But when I tried to move my feet, a hand gripped my arm and pulled me back. The back of my head bumped into the person's chest.
"Hey!!" I bellowed.
Okay, I really don't need this right now. I know that these guys are really angry with me for hitting their friend, but I don't think they know my side of the story. I'm not the mean one! I'm the better person here. I don't think I've ever hit anyone on purpose and I certainly wasn't going to be that low. But up there, that was when I've truly gotten enraged—they had to stretch the truth and push me so hard that I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do and the only thing I had in mind was to knock that An off her feet, and, if Fuji was still standing next to her, I think I would've hit him, too.
But, thinking about it rationally, I don't think this is reality. This is a Jdorama, like a Japanese drama show that I should be watching from the comfort of my sofa. The main character would be someone who can make it on time in her first day of school, some girl who doesn't trip over twigs and can giggle in the girlish way. She would be pretty and have a supermodel-like, skinny body because she doesn't have the tendency to consume two hundred gallons of ice cream. She'd fall in love with a good-looking Japanese dude who'd look like Aiba Hiroki and they'd elope together and spend their honeymoon in the countryside after their secretive, romantic wedding that took place in the midnight rain.
I look into the face of the assaulter, feeling like screaming again. It was dark outside, but not dark enough for the night to cover those fluorescent blue orbs that I was staring into.
He spoke. I recognized my name:
"Minase-san."
Thu-thump.
The stranger drew me into a breathless kiss.
If I had just one tear running down your cheek
Maybe I could cope, maybe I'd get some sleep
If I had just one moment at your expense
Maybe all my misery would be well
Spent
Yeah
Fuji clutched Aya's arms at her sides so she couldn't make an attempt to run. The cool wind blew the hair off of the two's foreheads, and Aya pulled back, inhaling the sharp air through her hot lips.
"Wh-what are you doing?!" she said. She tried wrestling her arms out of his hold.
It was her first kiss, and he had to steal it from her.
Could you cry a little?
Lie just a little
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain
I gave, now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me
"I kissed you." Even though Fuji's body appeared small, they were very strong, and Aya found it hard to get away from him, her shoulders cringing. But he let go soon enough.
Her face felt hot. "I don't like you like that!!"
If your love could be caged
Honey, I would hold the key
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me
And you'd hunt those lies
They'd be all you'd ever find
And that'd be all you'd have to know
For me to be
Fine
Yeah
She ran a safe distance away from him and turned around.
Now, with tears now pouring and illuminating under the limelight, and shouted back: "I don't like you, Fuji!! And I never will!!" She closed her eyes and screamed, "Because after all this time, you're still toying with me!"
"Minase-san is..."
And you'd cry a little
Die just a little
And baby, I would feel just a little less pain
I gave, now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me
"...the person who I really like."
Fuji's eyes were serious and deafening, without a trace of a smile on his face.
She heard something, and wondered for an instant if she had screamed before she turned and fled.
Give it up, baby
I hear you're doing fine
Nothing's gonna save me
I can see it in your eyes
Some kind of heartache,
Honey, give it a try
Still running, running, running to nowhere, the one flip-flop making it harder for her to run. She kicked if off and kept running.
Minase-san is the person who I really like.
I don't want pity, I just want what is
Mine
Yeah
...The person who I really like...
Please don't lie to me. Aya stopped running, out of breath. She gasped for air, but mucus and spit clogged at her throat, and it felt like she couldn't breathe, like when you're in kindergarten and you're wailing uncontrollably that you can't stop to attempt to breathe.
Please don't lie to me, because it hurts.
Could you cry a little?
Lie just a little
Pretend that you're feeling
A little more pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me
Yeah
She panted, and thought she heard a stray cat knock a garbage can onto the street. Aya looked up and her eyes immediately widened. That has to be a hallucination, a fucking hallucination that's messing with her already-messed-up mind. It has to be Grief working its way through her brain, its breath sour, wrapping its sticky arms around her neck and breathing into her ear.
Standing next to a pole, the silhouette of Daichi Minase was seen, wearing his faded jeans and his white button-down that he always wore.
He smiled over his glasses and took them off, motioning her to sit as he did himself.
Hell, Aya rubbed her eyes and managed to smile. Father or hallucination, this was a blessing. Just for this one night, I think I got the permit to be crazy... Aya slowly approached him. She laid her head on his knees.
Cry just a little for me
Woo, ooh
Could you cry a little for me?
The smell of his cotton shirt slowed Aya's gasping and pretty soon, she closed her eyes and dozed off. She dreamed of the day after the funeral, when all the mourners left her house. How she wished that her dad had lived. How she wished on that her dad's shoes wouldn't start coating with dust or that his toothbrush wouldn't start growing hard and dry on the cup by the sink.
...Yeah, yeah...
...I think I've got the permit to be crazy tonight.
So, how was it? I especially had fun making up this chapter because I could relate to Aya. And I'm just curious to know...have you ever cried like that, when you wail like a kindergartener, unable to gasp between cries? I think I've cried like that only once in my life.
Remember to review, ne?
Love you guys!!!
lUvRaCcI!