First off, THANX 4 ALL THE AWESOME REVIEWS!! I really enjoyed thme. I got a few requests to write Sora's POV and so here it is. This one might be a little weird because I was trying to make his story match Riku's and it's going to be sort of like deja vu, lolz. I know it was deja vu for me to write this. Also, I there is an extra lemon in this, but it's like half a lemon and it's not between Sora and Riku. I was going to add another lemon in it, but I didn't want to drag the story out any further than need. So I hope you enjoy this one as much as the first!!
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My Light
Sora's Story
I almost tripped as I ran down the stairs. I was in a rush and I didn't want to miss my silver. I bumped, and shoved, and pushed every person in my way just to make it out the door. I sighed, there were more people outside. I pushed past them as well and seen him at our meeting spot. My silver. I smiled. Where did I get that nickname from? I never called him that anyway. I made it over to my green eyed friend, a smile still plastered on my face. "Hey..." I was out of breathe, running from the third floor to our meeting spot wore me out. He smiled back. He always smiled back.
"Come on."
We started on our way home. It was always nice to walk with Riku, my silver. I blushed, I couldn't help calling him that. I turned my head and looked up at the sun so he wouldn't see my face. The sun was so bright and warm, I loved the light. Deep in the sun, I felt him punch my arm. I swiftly turned my head to him, his eyes gleaming. "Hey, what's the big idea Riku?"
He chuckled, his laugh echoing in my ear. "What are you staring at?"
"The sun."
He raised his eyebrows. "Why? Your eyes will get messed up from doing that. Don't do it anymore." I gave him a playful pout and looked ahead of us. I realized the sand was underneath my feet, crunching with every step.
"Hold on Riku."
I sat on the sand and kicked off my yellow and black shoes. I stood back up and sighed. I loved the way the sand felt underneath my feet and in between my toes. We walked in silence for a while and I was looking around, enjoying the view, when I seen his smile. I almost smiled at its beauty. Huh? Scratch that thought. Why would his smile be so beautiful? Why is it so beautiful? I shook my head. There goes my hyper active brain. All I really want to know is why he's smiling? And at me? "Why the warm smile?"
"Just noticing your fascination with those shoes."
I smiled and turned my head to look into those bright seafoam greens of his. "They're my fav."
"I figured. What happened to Kairi?"
I felt like I died inside. Two days before, I basically begged Kairi to swim with me. She wouldn't at first, but I just had to beg her. "She got sick after that swim we had last night. I kinda feel like I made her sick because I wanted her to swim with me." I felt so guilty about it. I didn't want to get her sick or nothing. I just wanted her to be with me since Riku wasn't there. Sigh, why did I have to be so selfish? I was looking down at the golden sand when I felt an arm fling over onto my shoulder and pull me close. His body felt so good, so warm, I couldn't help but lean into it and enjoy the feel.
"It's not your fault." I felt our bodies turn into another direction. I didn't question him. "Let's go to..." I didn't hear anything after that nor was I paying attention. I was in a complete trance. His body warmth was enchanting. I wanted to feel more. I snuggled up closer to him, not caring if he protested or not. I couldn't help myself. His body just seemed to radiate warmth that was so hypnotizing. It was never like this before. But I was glad it was like that. I wished it stay like that forever.
Next thing I knew, we were at Kairi's. She had on a green blanket. A blanket not as green Riku's eyes. There I go thinking about his eyes again. She gave me her usual kiss and hug. I blushed so hard. I loved her kisses, but I knew she was only being friendly. I couldn't use the same word to describe the hug and kiss. It seemed like she kissed him forever and her lips seemed to be close to his. It also looked like she hugged him and never wanted to let go. Sigh, my eyes lowered. I didn't want to see him hug her or vice versa. I just wanted to take her place.
Riku had left by now and I couldn't blame him. It was late, only the moon giving us sight. We were sitting by the shore in silence for a moment, just letting the water rise and recede on our feet. I was laying back, my fingers intertwined behind my head. Kairi was leaning back using her hands as support. The silence between us was calming and I wish we would've stayed in silence because the next thing that came out her mouth made me want to leave.
"Do you think I have a chance with Riku?"
If only I could grab my shoes and run. I wasn't that fast. Instead I answered her question with a question. "Chance like what?"
She giggled and I could tell by her laugh that her eyes were squinting. "Don't be silly Sora. I'm talking about like boyfriend and girlfriend. Do you think I'll have a chance with Riku?"
I sat up and positioned my body like Kairi's. I didn't want to look at her, but I did anyway. I gave her another question. "Well what do you think?"
She blushed so hard her face looked like a tomato. "I think so. He seems to like me some. I just don't know how to...you know...let him know how I feel."
"Just give some hint or something. I bet he'll catch on, no problem." I didn't want to hear what she had to say afterwards. I didn't want to see her blush over him anymore. So after that statement, I told her I had homework to do and left. I got home, defeated somehow, and sulked my way to my room. I tossed my bookbag near my window and sat on my bed. My crush liked my crush. That was weird. And how could I give dating advice to someone that I liked and about someone I liked. It sucked. I let the rest of my body fall on the bed. Here I am not letting neither one of them know how I felt about them...especially Riku. How could I let him know? What could I possibly do? Oh Riku, I've been in love with you since 10th grade and I still do and I just wanted to know if you feel the same. Err, I palmed my face, that was so cheesy. And I knew that would back fire anyway. Sigh. Which one did I even want? I mean, I liked Kairi, she made me blush everytime I seen her. But Riku was another story. Riku made me want to hold him for days and play in his hair. I wanted to kiss him as much as I could and hold his hand as we walked home. Simply, he just made my stomach flutter. And I had to let him know. Sorry Kairi. I sat up and looked at my little clock on my desk. 1:47. I flopped back down and kicked my shoes off. I was too tired to take anything else off.
I was anxious all day in school. I was shaking completely; hands, chest, voice, EVERYTHING! I was trying to hide my shakiness from him on our way home. I guess I did a good job because he didn't notice. All the while, I was pondering on what to do that day. I knew I had to tell him that day or at least do something to let him know. I still wasn't sure what to do, but I had a few ideas.
I decided to ask him to study at my house since we had an exam together. He obliged. Now that I had a place, all I needed was the action. I still didn't know what to do. If I screw up and not do anything, Kairi might get him first. Sigh, I was literally jealous of my bestfriend and it torn me up inside. But I knew I couldn't let him go. I just couldn't.
We were studying for a while, he was sitting up on the bed and I was sitting Indian style with the book resting in my lap. I looked over at him, he was buried into the book. I smiled and returned to my own book. I flipped a page as I looked out the window. Then I began thinking. The world was so big, but it was only a small part of something bigger. I always wondered if we're just a lonely species. Hmm, I asked Riku about. I know I couldn't be the only one thinking about things like this. I wasn't crazy. So I slammed the book shut and turned my body around in his direction, a smile on my face. He lifted his head out of the book, looked at me, and smiled. "You ever wonder if there's anything else out there?"
I noticed his eyebrows furrow and he tilted his head. "Out there like what?"
The look on his face confirmed it. I was crazy. "Anything beyond Destiney Island. Like other worlds and stuff?"
The book left his hands and I watched his fingers glide through his hair. My heart started beating a little faster. Watching him do anything made my heart beat fast. He was just enchanting by nature. "Sometimes. Like, I know we're not the only ones out here. The universe lasts forever; there has to be at least one planet similar to Earth." I sighed to myself. If I was crazy, at least I wasn't crazy alone.
"I was thinking the same thing." I got up from the bed and leaned on my window sill and stared at the soggy shore. "Sometimes I just look out this window just wondering if I could go to any of those worlds. To talk with the people there and see if they have ever wondered about other worlds too." I sighed with a smile on my face. I just had this good feeling inside. I always thought about other worlds, but never talked to anyone about it. It was nice to talk to someone about. I realized he didn't respond. I guess he didn't have anything to say after that. Hmm, Riku. What was I going to do? I had him in my room, by myself, and I was looking out a window. I swallowed and turned my head to look at him. He was studying. I smiled softly. I had to do something. And I did the only thing that popped into my head.
I left the window and slowly walked over to him. He never looked up. I stood beside him and just waited for him to acknowledge me. When I seen him look at me with those deep sea green eyes, I started getting nervous. My hands were the first to shake and the rest of my body followed. I really didn't know what to expect if I did this. But I had to keep going. I couldn't stop. I took the thick text book from his lap, dropped it on the floor, and sat on his lap. I put my shaky hands on his chest and it was nice and hard. I had seen his chest plenty of times when we went swimming, but it never struck me like this.
My chest rose and fell slow then fast and I felt my face get hot. I leaned forward and I could feel the tiny hairs on his face touch mines. It felt good, but it did very little to relax me. I just sat there. I couldn't move. I was thinking of all the pros and cons if I did this one thing. Would he like it? Would I screw up? Would he just sit there? Would I lose him to Kairi? Would I completely lose him? The last thought scared me drastically. I didn't want to lose Riku as a friend or potential lover. I just didn't. We been through too much for me to lose him. I was starting to second guess this whole thind. Maybe my satisfaction wasn't worth it. I felt like I didn't need to do this anymore. I'd just be content with keeping my feelings to myself. I looked at him, my eyes heavy. I was going to get off. But then I heard him speak.
"Hurry up with whatever you're going to do."
That sentence changed my mind. I gulped, swallowing my pride, friendship, and everything else I might lose, closed my eyes, and kissed him. Yup, I kissed Riku. But Riku didn't kiss me back. I quickly left his lips and stared at him. I decided to try just one more time; one extra kiss couldn't destroy me more than the first one did. I pressed my trembling hands on his chest harder as I kissed him again. I instantly got another warm feeling. I was happy. He kissed me back and he hugged me so close I could feel his heart beat. So much weight was lifted off of my shoulders and my nervousness disappeared. I kissed him deeper. We kissed deeper. His warm tongue graced my lips and my mouth instinctly opened to the touch. It invaded my mouth and it felt so good. My tongue crept its way into his mouth. His mouth was so warm and slickened with both my and his spit. I wish I could've been there kissing him forever.
Next thing I knew, I was pushed on my back. I was completely sprawled out on the bed. What just happened and why? I just sat there and waited for him to say something, but he didn't. He quickly packed his things, got off the bed, and left. When I realized he was really gone and wasn't coming back, I punched the bed. I screwed up. I just knew it would happen. I looked at the white door. I had to get him. I'd just pretend like none of this happened and just be his friend. Not his crush, lip locker, bed mate, lover, or anything like that.
I hopped off the bed and ran to him. I couldn't let him leave. I felt my mother's eyes glued on me as I ran out the door. I seen a shadowy silhouette. Nobody else was out right now, I just ran to it. It was just instict to run after him. My feet pummeled the sand as I tried to get to him. When I got to him, I grabbed his arm. I managed to stop him. I wanted him to turn around, but he didn't. My hands found their way to his hand and I started to rub his knuckles. I enjoyed the wave-like feel of his skin as they rose and fell over his bones. "Riku...come back and study with me." Right after I said that, my throat began to tighten up. I was going to sniff, but I didn't want him feeling sorry for me.
He began to move, but not towards me. He was walking away. I held on so tight and just kept walking with him. "Please come back and study with me." My throat tighten up some more. It was getting hard for me to talk now. We were still walking, ever so slowly. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to lose him. But deep down, in one part of me that had already given up, felt like I already lost him and he was never coming back.
His hand escaped mines and I stood there with needles in my heart. I watched him walk away from me and when I couldn't see him anymore, I walked home with my head down. A lone tear dripped out of my eye like a leaky faucet. I sniffed. My eyes cried some more. My heart cried. God, I felt so broken and destroyed.
My eyes were red and watery by the time I made it home. My mother was cooking something in the kitchen. She turned and looked at me in all my shame. "Sora, what's wrong sweety?" She dropped the spoon and went to hug me. She cupped my head with one hand and held my waist with another. I didn't hug her back. It's not like I didn't want to hug her. I would hug my Mom any day. But I guess my body was just too weak. So my arms just hung there. "What's wrong Sora?" I shook my head. I tried to say 'nothing', but it only came out as a squeak. "Are you going to be ok?" I wanted to say yes, but I shook my head no. She gently rubbed my hair and sighed. "Dinner will be ready in a few." She let me go and went to go finish cooking.
I slowly walked upstairs and fell asleep with an empty stomach and pillow full of tears.
It was about a week since that day. And since that day, I've started staring. But not at just any random thing. No. It was him. Riku. I don't know why I kept staring, but I did. I just couldn't help myself. He was always the constant reminder of that great yet sad day. Everytime I looked at him, I had an instant flashback. And I sort of enjoyed it. I began enjoying my memories more than I enjoyed the present. Usually when I'd look at him he would be either working, sleeping, or catching my stare. And he'd look for a while with a question mark look on his face, then turned his face away from me.
Another thing I seemed to be doing since that day was draw and write. I'd draw pictures of my feelings and write what I had in my mind. Like if I were talking to Kairi, I'd just write it down as a little story. It kind of made me feel better. It got some of my feelings off my chest at least.
It was Thursday and I was starting to miss Kairi so I went to her house after waiting about fifteen minutes to see if Riku would walk with me home. Yes, yes I know. I sound like a desperate sucker for love, but I still wanted him. If I couldn't kiss him, I'd just smile as we walked home. But neither one happened.
Kairi answered the door munching on a piece of watermelon, some of its red juice sliding down her smiling face. "Hey Sora. I've missed you so much." I smiled.
"I missed you too." I walked into the very familiar house and sat on the couch. "When are you coming back to school Kairi? Starting to miss you in last period." She smiled and sat down across from me. Her smile was so pretty and the juicy watermelon was only a nice accessory to her smile.
"I'll be back tomorrow. I gotten better since the swim a while ago. I've just been chilling in the house since I guess Monday. Wanna piece?"
"Huh?"
She giggled. "Do you want a piece of watermelon? My mom brought a lot of it yesterday so it's fresh."
"Sure." I got up from the soft plush couch and dug through the refrigerator until I got the biggest reddest piece I could find. Yes, I know, I'm greedy. "Hey you know what? We should go for a little walk or something. It's nice out."
"That sounds great. Let me get my shoes."
I shook my head as I walked back into the living room eating the watermelon. "Forget your shoes. Hmm." I kicked off my shoes and socks. "We'll walk barefoot."
"That's great," she said with a smile. I couldn't help, but smile back.
We left the house, munching on watermelon, enjoying the sun hit our face and water gently crashing up against the shore. We were just walking, not having a destination really. We walked along the beach in silence and then we past his house. I wish we hadn't. I gulped so hard I thought I swallowed my tongue with it. I guess Kairi noticed his house as well because she wanted to let him come along. I made up some dumb lie saying we had gotten a report and Riku was still buried in work. She believed me.
Our walk relieved me a little. She told me about how her mother thought about getting them a dog and how she wanted to go shopping some time soon. I told her some stuff about what's been going on at school. I really didn't talk about myself too much. I didn't want her to know.
God I hate rainy days. It just makes the whole day sad and bleek. The thunder seemed like it was right in my ear and the lightning appeared to be cracking in my face. I sighed. I walked out of my room and went downstairs right in time. My Mom just got finished making some kind of noodle, fish, and vegetable dish. I guess she was trying something new out. At least it smelled good. I made her and myself a plate and we sat down at the small round table in the dining room. It was a quiet dinner until she broke the silence with a disturbing question. "What had you crying that day? It usually takes something kind of serious. Did Riku say something?"
"No."
"Did he do something?"
"No."
She sighed. I sighed too. I hate lying to my mother. It makes me sick. So I gave her a look that basically said he had either said or did something to make me cry that day. She simply nodded her head. "You'll be ok Sora. You always bounce back." She leaned over and pinched my cheek with a wide smile on her face. "You never let anything hold you down too long." I smiled with a mouth full of fish. I seen her smile widen and she began to giggle. Her laugh could cure anything.
After dinner, I went upstairs to my room, this time with my stomach nice and full. It was good for a first time dish. She should make it some more. I was lying on my bed, my hands tucked behind my head, staring at the ceiling. I listened to the dog and cat sized raindrops pound the roof like a mad man. Boom. Crack. Then the dogs and cats again. It sounded something like a chaotic yet hypnotic song. Something Beethoven would probably make. I sighed. I had nothing to do, so I just lie there staring at the ceiling. I felt a whoosh of air hit me, but I paid it no mind. Maybe I should've because next thing I knew, Riku was on top of me, pinning me down like prey. My eyes quickly widened. What was he doing here? What was he going to do? "Riku..."
"Shut up."
He took off all of our clothes like he was in a rush. I didn't stop him. I was still in a little shock. My legs were literally thrown over his shoulders. I seen him smile and I thought well ok, maybe he changed his mind about everything. That this was friendly, but rough. But his smile left as quickly as it came and I soon felt a sudden spike of pain.
"AAAAHHHHH!!"
He put his hand over my mouth, his eyes were angry. "Didn't I tell you to shut up?!" I just nodded. "Okay then, so do what I say."
Then the terrible ride started. He was digging into me and it hurt so bad. First off, it was dry and so his skin scraped at mine. Then it's not like I've every did this before, so it felt like he was forcing his way in and it hurt. I could feel my skin tearing a little and I cringed. But despite how I felt, my body enjoyed it. It seemed like it was commanding itself, just ignoring what my mind was saying. It tried to get all of Riku in and keep him in as long as possible. I moaned his name. I couldn't even stop myself.
"Shut up."
Why did he want me to shut up? Maybe it was because my Mom was downstairs and she'd hear me. I don't know.
I moaned his name again.
"Shut up!!"
His pretty sea green eyes were raging, almost like the storm outside. I didn't want to look at them anymore so I closed my eyes. I didn't even want to be underneath him anymore. I wanted to hit him or something just to get him off of me, but my body wouldn't let me. It wriggled and squrimed. I arched my back to his touch and I wish I hadn't because I was then flipped over on all fours with my head between his strong hand and the suffocating covers. I was trying so hard to breathe through all the cotton, but it was hard. With every violent stroke, my head was dove deeper into the covers. I was starting to choke, I thought he trying to kill me. Did I really mess up our friendship so bad whereas he wanted me dead? I couldn't even cry about that. My body was more focused on meeting his strokes and breathing.
My breathing slowed and my body became limb. Here it goes.
I was going to die.
But with a strong grasp to my hair, my head was lifted from the covers. I inhaled like I never did before. I coughed a little and I was glad to feel my chest rise and fall. That feeling didn't last long. With only a few breathes, my head was dove back into the dreaded covers. This was simply torture. He was grinding into oblivion and it was still hurting like hell. It stung so bad. My breathing was slowing again. I wanted him to just leave. I wanted him to get out of me and my room. Him touching me made me twitch and I didn't feel comfortable anymore.
My body cringed inside and I was starting to feel a little funny. It started moving a little different. I wish I hadn't because it gave him some kind of invitation to bang my body harder. I screamed. He went in harder and deeper. I screamed. God it hurt. My body trembled and I collasped underneath him. I came, and I messed up my bed and got some of it on my chin. I felt really dirty. Not from coming on myself, but just having Riku touching me felt dirty. I wished he'd stop, but he didn't. His hand left my head and he grabbed my hips, forcing my body to bang up against him. I turned my head to the side and inhaled deeply again. I could finally breathe.
He dug, and scraped, and pounded me till he came. It felt so weird. I could feel him explode in me. I had this weird full sensation. Right after he came, he left. It seemed like he left in a second. Good. My body fell and I curled up into a ball. I sniffed the air. It smelled so dirty and so stuffy, it made me go take a shower. I stayed in that shower forever. I scrubbed for days and washed my hair twice. When I was done, I went into my room. I noticed the storm get stronger. I hoped it would knock his house down. I stripped the bed of the dirty sheets, and fell asleep with my towel on.
Ever since that day, I was feeling like everything was my fault. I know you're kind of wondering why are you feeling bad when he did wrong, but if that kiss hadn't happened, none of this would've happened. I would still be his friend and vice versa. I triggered all of this and, to me, it was all my fault. I felt like I had to do something about it. Like I had to explain myself, even if he wanted to hear me or not.
So on some random day when the sun was out bright, I went over to his house. His father greeted with a smile and told me Riku was in his room. He warned me that he has been angry lately and don't do anything to tick him off. I nodded and with his warning in mind, I went up to his room and softly knocked on the door.
"Come in."
I opened the door, but I didn't go in yet. "You sure you want me to come in?" Maybe he would change his mind since he knew it was me standing in the doorway.
"Come in," he said as he got up from his bed and went to go sit down some where else. I crept in his room and sat on the bed, frightened. My thumbs were swirling around each other and I didn't know what to do. I was nervous, scared, everything. I didn't know if he was going to attack me again or just sit there with an evil glare. I didn't know if he'd apologize or what. Not knowing what he was going to do, had me shaking for dear life. My breathing was shaky and I realized that I was kind of having a little breathing problem from the choking situation. I stopped fiddling with my thumbs and looked at him. His green eyes were calm...unlike that day. I sighed heavily and started. Here it goes.
"I'm sorry for ever forcing you into something you didn't want to do. I shouldn't have kissed you that night. I should've asked you before I did it. That was my mistake. Since then, I've been losing you and I don't want that. If it has to be, I want things to go back to normal. But I don't want it to be like it used to be. I...I want...I want to be with you Riku. I know that sounds odd and you'll probably hate me later, but I love you. And...I couldn't think of saying it to you earlier so I just had to kiss you and I'm sorry. So..." I stood up, walked over to him, and stuck my hand out. "Friends?" I smiled and I knew my smile wasn't my usual.
I thought my hand was going to stay there empty, but it didn't. He grabbed. "Friends." I smiled wider now. I was happy again. I had my friend back and then that's all I could've asked for.
Out of nowhere, I felt him grab the back of my head and pull me down to his lips. He kissed me. He kissed me this time. I felt my lips press up against his some more and his warm tongue slid in like a stealthy snake. I let my tongue creep in after his. I almost melted. His taste was so sweet and addicting. I could kiss him and taste his sweet mouth forever. His hand left mine and he pulled me to his chest. I let my body relax to his touch and I was now sitting on his lap, his body in between my legs. We lunged again and I could feel spit sliding down the side of my lips. This felt sooooo good. This was a lot better than the first time.
We parted and I looked at him for a while, my eyes darting from his eyes, to his hair, to his lips, to his eyes again. "Riku...why? I thought..."
I was silenced. He had placed his finger on my lips only to replace them with his extra soft pink lips. I held his face and kissed him a little deeper. This was perfect...this was bliss. I had him. He didn't push me off or choke me to death. He was just here and we were enjoying the taste of each other. A tear slipped out of my eye. I guess it had hit me harder than I thought. I realized that I loved him more than I thought. He meant a lot to me. He started to rub these magic circles in my lower back and I moaned in his mouth. I could be here forever.
We parted again and we just stared. And I could stare into his eyes forever. They were so beautiful. I loved how the light would hit them and make them sparkle. I loved how when he laughed, they would squint into perfect slits. I loved everything about them. I rubbed his cheek with my thumb and he closed his eyes to my touch. I smiled a soft smile. "I always loved your eyes...so green."
He smiled and I could tell it was genuine.
I wished that moment could have lasted longer so I could've had more to remember, because after that he ignored me again. Why would he always do that? And why did I always easily fall for him again? It was confusing. But I was used to it...sort of.
I stood at our meeting spot for a while. I don't know what possessed me to continue to stand there. I knew he wouldn't come, but I had to make sure. I noticed him walking; he was already far off walking in the sand. I sighed and dropped my head. I guess he wasn't coming. I lifted my head in his direction and he turned. He was going in some direction that wasn't the direction his house was. So I walked after him. I didn't approach him, but I just followed him. I was about a few yards behind him and I looked at the houses. I knew those houses. He was headed for Kairi's. I didn't fret though. Nothing was banning him from seeing her. She was absent again today even though she was there yesterday so maybe he was going to check on her.
I went behind this large shrub near her house and sat down. I was just going to sit and watch.
He knocked a few times and the door quickly opened to a bubbly Kairi. "Hey Riku." She had this odd smile on her face. So did Riku.
"Hey."
They went into the house and I heard them talking a little bit, then the back door slid opened. I quietly crept forward and ended up behind another little sections of hedges so I could see them out back. Kairi kissed his cheek and pulled at his shirt. The white uniform shirt came off and so did his pants and boxers. Riku kissed her neck as he slid off her yellow wife beater and her denim shorts.
They were in their underwear...but not for long. Her bra came off and he quickly went down to bite her nipples as he got her girly pink off. She moaned...and moaned...and moaned. She moaned like no tomorrow and he seemed to drink up her moans. He didn't even tell her shut up. Her just kept on biting her nipples. He left her nipples and let Kairi take off his boxers.
In no time, they were on the sand, him on top, grinding for days. She screamed and hollered. She wriggled and writhed. And he did nothing, but dig deeper into her. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. He didn't shut her up, turn her around or nothing. I closed my eyes, but they were soon opened when I heard her scream his name.
"Oh God Riku..."
I heard him snicker afterwards. He enjoyed it. They both did. She pulled at his hair. My throat tightened again. I didn't even get a chance to touch his hair. I sniffed. I didn't want to see anymore. I had to go. I quietly left their sex park and walked home. My head was racing with questions. How long had this been going on? Why did they do it? What started all of this? Was Riku doing this before he put those lips on mine? I touched my lips. I wish he didn't. I gulped hard. I wasn't going to cry. I was tired of crying. So I just bottled it up inside and wrote a story about it.
I had started bottling up a lot of things since then. I stopped crying. I stopped thinking sometimes. I stopped talking so much. I just drew and wrote. And I'd stuff all of them into the locker me and Riku shared. I didn't care if he seen them. I didn't care if anyone seen them. I stopped caring for a lot of things and my hair was one of them. My hair wasn't as spiky and it was dull. It fell out almost every other day. It was extrmemly brittle. But it didn't matter. Not to me anyway. My Mom asked me about it one day and I told her I don't know. I hated lying to her, but unlike last time, I just let the lie stay there.
One day, I heard the front door being pounded. I quickly ran to the door and answered. It was Kairi and she was crying. What happened to her? She fell into my arms and I was hesitant to hug her back at first, but my arms soon enveloped her small body. I held her close as I walked backwards and shut the door. She was crying so hard. Her tears were soaking the shoulder part of my sleeve. She sniffled a few times and exhaled heavily. I rubbed her back and sighed. "What's wrong Kairi?"
She sniffed a few times before she answered. "It's Riku." My body stiffened a little. What did Riku do? And did I care to hear what she had to say? "He...he stopped..."
"He stopped what?"
"He stopped loving me."
I sighed and kept rubbing her back. I knew what she was talking about. Riku probably broke it off with her out of blue like with me and didn't give her any explanation. "How?"
"We used to...you know...have sex and stuff...and...he just stopped. He didn't even let me know why or anything. He just left me...after he told me he loved me so many times."
That part kind of stung. He never said, 'I love you' to me. Maybe because he just doesn't love me. I swallowed that up like everything else and I sat her down on the couch. I gave her a box of tissues. She took one and dabbed her eyes.
"Sora, it really hurts you know. I mean...I do love him and all even if he did just leave me. I just want to know why."
I walked into the kitchen and got her some water. "You may never know." She just looked at me. That wasn't an answer I would've given her about three weeks ago before any of this happened. "But it'll be ok Kairi. Everything will sort itself out. Don't stress." I kissed her forehead. "Do you want something to eat?" She quietly shook her head. "Kay." I sat beside her and hugged her till she left. I knew that she wanted someone to hug and I was there so...yea.
It was Saturday. I wanted to race with Riku around the island with Riku, but I knew it wouldn't happen. Instead, I was sitting on my bed drawing. It was thundering and cloudy. It was a picture of that day. It was called Beethoven's Cats and Dogs. It was an ugly picture, but it brought back a sudden flashback. I couldn't contain myself anymore. My tears had to fall. They lightly fell as my chest rose and fell. I got off the bed and I let the paper sit on the bed. My body jumped as I hiccuped. My body fell to the floor with my legs spread. My tears stared falling a little more. I held my face in my cupped hands and hicupped a little more. And I started talking. Everything I had been wanting to say to anyone for so long just came out. I didn't have my usual two to talk to and I couldn't talk to my Mom about it so I talked to myself.
"I remember when I first seen your silver hair. I laughed because it was so weird. But you laughed at me because of my spiky hair. We laughed at each other. I knew we would be close and we have been since. We would sit near our tree and just talk. We would see who could swim the farthest before the other got tired. But now, we don't do anything. I wait for you every day to walk with me home and you never acknowledge me. One time I did follow you and noticed you at Kairi's. But you didn't go there to play a game or watch a movie. You guys went out back and..." My tears fell down like rivers now and I coughed a little bit. It hurt to say this, but I had to get it off my chest. My bottle was bursting. "You two were having sex. You didn't shut her up, you didn't turn her around. You even let her pull your hair." I sniffed. "I want to touch your haiirr." I held my face tighter and cried harder than ever. I was sniffing, coughing, hiccupping and everything. My breathing was irregular. I'd breathe in twice and exhale a long and heavy sigh.
I slumped over the bed, my knees on the floor, the upper half of my body on the bed. "You were there since the beginning. But now that you're gone, what's left of me? What's left of me now?" I knew the answer to that. It was nothing. And it made me cry harder. My head fell into my folded arms and I cried so hard I thought my face would burst. I didn't think I had that many tears and definitely not that much for Riku. My bed was turning into a water bed with all the tears I let out. I wiped my eyes and sniffed. God I missed Riku. I wanted to go see him, but I knew I couldn't bring myself to do it. And he wouldn't want to see me anyway.
I got up on my feet, still crying uncontrollably, and left the house. I heard my Mom calling after me, but I didn't care. I just needed to get to the island. I got there in about five minutes thanks to the calm waters. I sat by the shore and threw a rock into the water. I sniffed. Why couldn't my life be as calm as this island? It had to be odd an screwed up like that bent palm tree. Hmmm, I haven't been to that tree in a while. I walked the rickety wooden bridge to the tree and sat down on it. I smiled. This tree was only good memories and it always had this warm and welcoming vibe about it. It was peace and that's all I needed then.
Riku wasn't nowhere to be found for about two days. He was in school, but I stopped paying attention to him as much as I used to. I had come to terms with the fact that he didn't love me and that maybe he wouldn't love anyone based on the way he treated me and Kairi. And I was kind of tired of going through this weird cycle with him. I'd fall for him, get denied, fall for him, get denied, and it'll just keep going from there. It was getting tiresome and I wanted the old me back.
But that didn't stop me from standing at our spot everyday after school. I just wanted him to walk with me and bring things back to the good old days at the bent tree. And one day, I got that wish and more.
It was Tuesday and I was standing at our spot. He walked right past me and didn't say anything. I had gotten used to that. But what I wasn't used to was him stopping. He had stopped, turned, and held his hand out to me. I didn't even think twice. I ran to him. I just couldn't help myself. I pushed past every person and I kept reaching for his hand. It felt like I'd never get to him, but when I did, I hugged him tight. And I just started crying. I don't know why, but I did. He used one arm to hold my waist and the other gently rubbed my hair. I sniffed and fiddled with his hair. His hair was so soft and it felt like strands of silk. He rubbed my hair for a while and spoke. "You want to walk home with me?"
I looked up at him and seen him looking down at me. "Yes please," I said as I nodded. I seen him smile and he kissed my forehead. He gave me the same smile that he gave me that day we were in his room. We turned and started walking home. I grabbed his hand and turned my head. I seen so many faces staring back at us. I seen laughing faces, shocked faces, red faces, happy faces, appalled faces, and some with a combination of two or three of them. But one face stood out from the crowd. The face that had the deep ruby red hair framing it. It was Kairi's. She was looking at us, shocked and appalled. I mouthed an 'I'm sorry' and held onto Riku's hand tighter. He held my hand back.
We walked home like we used to and it was awesome. I took off my shoes like always and let the sand grace my feet as me and Riku talked about nothing. Through the entire walk, I kept a smile on my face and so did he.
He didn't walk me to my house like we usually did though. Instead, we went to his house. He asked me to come over so I did. I wasn't going to say no to that. When we got there, I dropped my shoes and bookbag by the door. I looked at the couch and had a bunch of memories come hitting me. I know Riku had to remember some of them. "You remember when we were small and we used to jump all over the couches?" He smiled.
"Yea I remember. We used to always get in trouble for it."
"And your mom used to get mad because we would get sand all on the couch." We laughed. I held my stomach and laughed a little harder at how his mother used to act. "Get your dirty feet off my sofa. Sora I swear I'll give you such a beating. And you Riku, I'll make sure you never sit again!!" Riku laughed his hearty laugh. He sat down on the couch. Our laughter died down and I went to go sit down beside him. We sat there in silence for a little bit until Riku turned his body and licked his luscious lips.
"What do you see in my eyes?"
"Your eyes?"
"Yeah, what do you see? What do you think about when you look into them?"
I didn't even think. I just started talking. "The sea. Not just its sea green color, but everything else about them. Sometimes they could be raging and something you don't want to coss paths with. But than you have the calm beautiful sea that you want to just dive in and swim in forever. That's what I think about when I look in your eyes." I noticed him smile. I guess he liked what I said.
"Really?"
I smiled back at him and nodded. Before I knew it, I was on his lap being literally consumed by his lips. I felt his tongue go over each one of my teeth and it grazed over my tongue as I slipped mines in. His mouth had its usual sweet taste. It had a taste that reminded me of oranges and strawberries. His mouth was a heavenly bowl of fruit. His strong hands gripped my butt and I squeaked out a yelp in his mouth. He parted and I pouted. Why was he stopping? "You like it when I do that?" I nodded and quickly dove down to his lips. I didn't want to be seperated from his rosey lips no longer than I had to. My tongue went back into his mouth and it went everywhere. He squeezed my butt again and I let him swallow another one of my moans. My fingers glided across his face and went into his silver mane. God, I loved his hair.
He pulled me closer and made those magic circles in my back. I couldn't hold back another moan. He bucked his hips into mines and WOW was it good. I could kind of feel his hard-on rub against mine and it felt so good. I left his lips and inhaled through clenched teeth. "Again Riku...again..." He gave me what I wanted. He ground his pelvis into mine again. The friction between us was so good. I couldn't wait to take his clothes off and feel the real thing. My face got hot and red and I started panting like I just ran track. I had one arm around his neck and the other on his thigh behind me, so when he rocked up, I could grind down and feel a little more. I looked down and enjoyed the way it even looked.
But he stopped. That got me a little mad. But then he started to unbutton my shirt. And he did it so agonizingly slow. I looked at him unbutton each button slowly and I could feel him drinking in my skin. Him staring at me like that made me harder than I thought possible. I bit my lip and grinded it under my lip anxiuosly. When he finally unbuttoned the shirt completely, he held the back of my neck with his right hand and gently slid off the shirt. He started to lick and nibble on my neck and I couldn't help, but grab his hair. His teeth grazed my heated skin and it drove me crazy. Everything he did drove me crazy. If I wasn't careful, I would've came all in my boxers before we really got started.
As he kept on bruising my skin, he started to undo my navy blue pants. My erection smacked his fingers when he was done. My thin boxers couldn't possibly hold me back. I heard him laugh a little before he spoke. "Stand up for me." I didn't think twice. I quickly stood up and went to go slide my pants down when he stopped me. "I'll do it." His husky, breathy voice made my body hot and I wanted him so bad. I felt my face get so hot and I knew I was blushing super hard.
I don't know when Riku was able to make my body hit back flips and cartwheels, but God he was making me want to explode.
He nipped at my belly button and my hips. My head fell back as I closed my eyes. If his teeth could do this I wonder what the rest of his body can do.
His teeth left my skin. I was a little disappointed when he did that, I guess he was good at leaving me wanting more. I looked down and seen his fingers seductively undoing his belt buckle and unbuttoning his pants. As he was pulling down his pants, I seen that very green I loved to look into. "...green..." That sea green was always so addicting. Not as mesmerizing as his silver hair, but close enough.
When the demon pants were finally off, my eyes widened and I inhaled heavily. Wow he was big. No wonder it hurt last time. How did he fit all of that in? I don't even care, I just wanted to be filled again.
"Come here."
I was snapped out of my trance due to his naked body and tried to walk over to him, but I tripped a little. I looked down and realized that my pants and boxers were at my ankles. I hadn't realized they were even down there. I guess I was just too wrapped up in him to pay any attention. Riku laughed hard at my clumsiness. "Take them off silly." I gave him a lopsided smile and slid my deserted clothes off my ankles. I sat on his lap afterwards and stared into his eyes. His eyes were so beautiful to look into.
Riku began to play with my hair and it felt so good. His fingers felt good in my hair and I closed my eyes to his touch. This moment...this moment right here...was what I wanted from the beginning. This was what I've been wanting. Ever since 10th grade...ever since that kiss. This was all I wanted...Riku with me, loving me. You know how people say, 'Go to your happy place'? This would be my happy place...now and forever.
He pulled me close and nuzzled my face. I could feel the soft little hairs on his face graze mine and it made my body shudder. His face was nice and warm, just like the rest of his body. He stopped nuzzling my face and placed his forehead on mines.
"I love you."
That shocked me. My face got really hot and my eyes were on the verge of pouring over. I don't know why, but Riku had like this spell on me to just make me cry. Sometimes he'd do the simplest thing and I'd start crying. It was weird crying near him all the time. I sniffed. I didn't expect him to say that, ever. Was he serious? I had to make sure. "Really?" Please say yes.
"No joke."
I sighed. I got everything I wanted then. Literally everything. "I love you too."
We kissed a while before he parted. "You ready for me to take you to another world?"
I was so confused. Why would we be leaving to another world now of all times...and how? I didn't want to leave. I gave him a confused look. "Which one?"
"You'll see. Are you ready to go?"
Just the fact that he wouldn't tell me where we would go, made me automatically know what he was talking about and I couldn't help but smile a small smile. "Yeah." I felt his warm arm wrap around me and he gently laid me down on my back. He kissed me and got off of me. "Where are you going?"
"To get some lube."
"...oh..." Wow that was just straight-forward and blunt. I rolled over on my stomach and watched his nicely shaped and built body jog up the stairs. Hmm...all this happened because of a kiss. A simple kiss. A kiss that could've destroyed everything. But it built so much. It built a stronger beautiful relationship with Riku. And it built some kind of light inside me. I felt so much better near him...or even just thinking of him. He gave me a warm glow that made my whole body just sparkle. Riku...geez. I smiled and shook my head. His name even...
"Got it."
My thoughts were interrupted as I seen him wave the small white bottle of lube in his hands. I allowed him to flip me over and put my legs on his shoulders. I heard the squishy sound of the lube squeezing out of the bottle and into his hand. Then I got the rush of cold and I cringed. Wasn't expecting that.
"What's wrong?"
"It's cold."
He smiled and threw the lube bottle somewhere either in the living room or the kitchen. I felt his head lightly graze me and I couldn't help myself. I didn't want this to end up like last time with me looking death right in the face. So I just blurted it out. "I won't say anything this time." He paused and I swore he was about to hurt me. He swept my hair across my forehead and sighed.
"Don't worry about it. Do what you want."
That was a weight lifted off my shoulders. I sighed and smiled. I couldn't wait to scream and moan his name.
"You ready?"
I nodded and in no time, I felt a sharp pain. "AAHH!!"
He immediately, a little shaken, and looked at me. "What's wrong?"
"It...it still hurts from last time. You left me a bit scarred up." I completely forgot about those scars. I literally couldn't sit down for a while because it hurt so bad.
"Oh...I'm sorry."
"Just go a little slower."
He nodded and started to go slowly. I felt everything...and it hurt like hell. From when the tip pushed its way through to the point when he filled me completely. My head flew back as I sucked my teeth. I didn't tell him to stop though. I didn't want to. I wanted him to keep going because I wanted to feel all of him. And I knew it was going to feel so good.
I felt my toes graze his silky hair and I wiggled my toes. I felt his body go in reverse and he started to slide out. I couldn't resist, I had to moan. And I'm glad I did because he thrusted in a little harder and deeper. I moaned again. His thrusts were magic. They felt so good and made all the pain disappear. I could care less about the now slight pain. All I cared for was for him to dig deep, dig hard, and not stop digging in me.
He swung his hips into mine and I arched my back and moaned. A moan escaped my lips with almost every heavenly pelvic thrust. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to. I don't think Riku wanted me to stop either. He seemed to drink up every moan that I let pass my lips. I opened my eyes to look in his face. His sex face was simply sexy. His face was scrunched and he looked down at himself grind into me. That made me start panting. His face was making me hotter than I thought possible. I flung my head back again onto the arm of the chair. While my eyes were glazed with lust and love, I felt something warm and wet lick my tongue. I licked his back. It was different, but it felt good. He left my tongue wanting more as he clasped my hands and put them beside my head. I rubbed his knuckles like I did plenty of times before.
Out of nowhere, I got this bright flash in my eyes and this rush of pleasure that seemed to spike out of nowhere. I let out a howling scream. I knew the cranky old lady next door could hear me.
"What," he asked breathily.
"Hit...again...please..."
He had me begging and speaking in such a weird broken language. That was good. At least I could actually say something this time. Riku met my pleading demands and hit my pleasure spot countless times. I got the flashing white lights every time. I was traveling. I was traveling to that world Riku was talking about. It was such a beautiful planet.
I felt him drive in faster than earlier and I didn't mind. The pain was gone and I was kind of getting tired of the slow thing. Skin smacking skin echoed throughout the house. It was music to my ears. I leaned forward and gripped his hair tight. I moaned and pulled his hair as he plunged into me. Now I see why Kairi loved to pull his hair. I started panting from the lusty air around us and sweat trickled down my face. Riku pushed my legs closer to my head, allowing him to dig deeper and hit my spot with more intensity. My mouth hung open a little bit and as I inhaled, I inhaled some of his breathe. It felt so good.
My body fell back onto the couch, but I didn't let go of his hair. I don't think I was ever going to let go. With my eyelids heavy and me barely seeing a thing, I seen Riku lean down towards me. His nose touched mines as he placed his candy lips on mines. I let go of his bangs, but to only palm a handful of hair in the back of his head. His tongue attacked my mouth and mines went into his. His automatically won the battle of dominance. He licked my tongue and teeth and soon left my lips. Riku grabbed my legs and started to drive into me harder. I moved my body in a way to meet his slams right on time.
I opened my eyes as much as I could and seen Riku looking down at my body. He seemed to be admiring every inch of my sweaty body and it made me hotter to know that he couldn't keep his eyes off me.
"Riku...ah Riku..."
Through my half lidded eyes, I seen a slight smirk spread across his sweaty pink face. He began to thrust into me so hard now that my head was banging the arm of the chair. My body shuddered. My insides were twitching and tingling differently than earlier. My hands gained a mind of their own and started grab at anything in sight. They found their way to Riku's bangs again and pulled on tight. My face srunched up and I screamed louder than before.
"Ahh Riku Riku Riku Riku AH!!"
I exploded. I fell back onto the couch and I came all over myself. I noticed a little got on Riku's chin. I shaking as if I had a seizure. I couldn't control myself. I just couldn't stop shaking and trembling. I couldn't breathe right. It was so irregular, trying to regulate it just made it worst. The white flashes came again and hints of gold came along with it. The faded and all I could see was silver. It was his silver hair. Riku began to shake now, and then he grumbled a screwed up version of my name and collasped onto my chest. He said my name...this was bliss. My legs fell to either side of his body. We exhaled at the same time and sucked in each others breathe when we inhaled. I felt so connected to him. It was weird. I never had any connection like this before.
I quickly held the back of Riku's head and pulled him close to me. My fingers twirled around idle strands of lustrous grey as my chest began to rise and fall like it normally did. Riku lifted up a little, my hands still in his hair, and gave me a mischievous grin. "You liked the new world you went to?" A blush cascaded my face and I nodded. "We can go again if you want." I smiled and continued to play in his hair. My fingers seemed to not want to leave the soft strands. His head fell back down onto my chest, obviously drained. I sighed. The after sex glow was all around us. I could feel it. I could see it. It enveloped us. It wasn't leaving any time soon. "Sora, come on. We gotta clean up," he said in a groggy voice.
He got up and tossed his clothes over his shoulder. "Get your clothes and put em in my room."
"Kay."
He went upstairs after that. I lifted myself up and just sat there for a while. I looked down at my chest. The warm liquid was still on my chest. I swiped some off and just looked at it sit on my finger tip. I giggled. Only Riku could make this stuff come out. I chuckled a little more as I picked up my clothes and went into his room. As I tossed my clothes on the bed, I noticed a broken lamp. He was sitting in darkness this whole time. I'd have to get him another.
Rushing water came to my ears and I walked over to the bathroom. I took out a spare wash cloth from the closet and pulled the shower curtain back. We locked eyes for a minute before I went in a began to wash. We washed in silence with no eye contact. I didn't like it too much. So after I washed myself, I set my wash cloth down and went up to Riku to wash his hair. He turned around and seen me smiling. He smiled back and I seen his eyes sparkle. They soon disappeared as he began to nod off to my touch. I giggled to myself. I washed his hair a little bit and rinsed it out. He opened eyes and seen me still smiling. I giggled and leaned in to kiss him. He kissed me back.
This was more than just a happy place; this was my sanctuary.
Plenty of those warm feelings came after that day. Riku didn't go into hate-Sora-relapse. He always came over and I sometimes stayed over his house. I finally got up the courage to tell my Mom about us. She smiled and I remember her saying, "I kind of felt it after all the times you were crying. But no matter who you like...or love, you're still my son and I love you." I was glad she was accepting of us. I don't think Riku told his parents yet, but he'd have to eventually. One person who wasn't to accepting was Kairi. Me and Riku told her about it and she broke into tears. Riku told her he was sorry, hugged her for a while and left, saying there was nothing he could do to change her feelings.
Kairi was really mad at me that day.
"You knew I liked him Sora...you knew. And you went and took him yourself. You should've...at least told me that you liked him...at least I would've known."
"I'm sorry Kairi, but after that night with me telling you to give him a hint, I just thought I should give it a try. I know I was being a real backstabber and a terrible friend, but to be honest with you Kairi, I was jealous of you."
She sniffed. "Jealous?"
"Mmhmm. I thought he liked you the whole time and I knew you liked him so I thought you two would end up together. So I just tried to see if he liked me or not. Just to see if I was the one he wanted or not. And with all the times he denied I thought he didn't like me at all. I thought he was just toying with me because he knew I liked him."
She shook her head and walked away from me.
"I don't know how many times I can say sorry, but I'll say it forever if I have to," I yelled after her. I don't know if she heard me or not. I hoped she did. She did hold a grudge against me and Riku for a while. Doing things like slamming the door in our face when she finally decided to open the door for us; giving us the evil eye; completely ignoring us. She eventually got over it, thank God.
It was about 4 in the morning and I was awaken by the heavy tapping at my window. It sluggishly got out of bed and seen my silver on the other side of the window. I lifted it up completely and rubbed my eyes.
"Hey love."
"Mmmm, what time is it?"
"It doesn't matter, just come on."
"Mmhmm." I turned around to walk out my room and walk out the front door, but he grabbed my arm before I was able to turn around.
"No stupid, you don't want to wake your Mom. Come through the window."
"Mmhmm." He helped me out the window and down the huge tree. He held my hand as we walked across the sand. "Where are we going Riku," I asked as my rubbed my eyes some more.
"You'll see."
We ended up on the raft and I fell asleep as he rowed through the calm waters to the island. "Wake up."
"I'm up, I'm up." I clung to his shirt as I got out of the raft. He held my hand again as we walked along the passageways. I heard the rickety wooden bridge under our feet and seen our bent tree ahead of us. When got to the little semi-island, he sat down, placing me in between his legs. We sat in silence for a while and I was about to go back to sleep when I felt warm kisses grace my neck and shoulder. "Mmmm..." Riku stopped kissing me and placed his chin on my shoulder.
"Pretty isn't it?"
I knew what he was talking about. Dead ahead of us was the bright pinkish orange sun gradually coming above the water. I never seen a sun rise before. I've only seen it set. I nodded and leaned my head back and it landed on his shoulder. He clasped my hands and wrapped his arms around my waist, engulfing me in eternal warmth. This was made me happy inside. I got to see my first sun rise with my silver. This kind of small thing, things just so simple and clean, were things that made my heart warm up instantly. I felt Riku kiss my cheek and sigh.
After the kiss, the only thing I remembered was the sun rising, my silver's warm embrace, and the calm sea. Hmmm, I still called him my silver. I'll start calling him that out loud when he found a nickname for me.
--...--