Emma felt the body in her arms go slightly limp and she sighed, caressing the short hair. Her eyes rose to meet Scott's.
"Scott, go away please." Emma whispered.
"She tried to kill a man, I had to stop her." Scott retorted.
"If she had tried, he would be dead." Emma shot back. "She was reacting to the girl's fear and pain. If you had asked her to leave the room with him, she would have and then she would have released him. Releasing the man in the room increased the fear so she kept hold of him." She felt a shiver from Alex.
"She just crushed my hand!" He growled. Emma saw the pain in his expression.
"Scott, weren't you listening? She was raped before. She asked you to let go, and you didn't. Guess what that reminded her of?" Scott went quiet. "She was young when it happened and she's lived with it since then, lived in silence. She's hurting and you aren't helping."
Scott opened his mouth to reply, closed it, and finally nodded, turning to go back down the stairs.
Emma rocked Alex slightly as students began to go back to their rooms in two's and three's. Most of them shot her odd looks and whispered to their friends, but she paid no attention.
"Alex." She shook her gently. "Alex." She wouldn't wake. She felt her presence and slipped into the dream the girl was having.
It was just as she thought hell would look like. The magma lit the cavernous room. She was standing on a plateau with thousands of demons on the lower levels. Only two people were up here. One was Alex, who had her legs dangling over the edge and the other was someone else.
"They kept calling me a… demon."
"I know sweetlings, I know. But you couldn't have saved her if you weren't. You wouldn't have been strong enough. There would have been two victims instead of one."
"Will it always hurt?" Emma could hear the pain in her voice.
"When hasn't it?" The other woman leaned over and rested her head on Alex's shoulder, pulling her close. "There was always something that made you different. First were the unusual bruises and cuts, and then you came out of the closet, and now you find out that you're a mutant, one with unusual powers. You trade one pain for another." There was affection in the woman's voice. "Don't worry, you'll find someone to love you, you just have to be patient." The woman stood up and turned.
Emma was shocked by what she saw. Standing before her was Alex. Only her horns were longer, and she was older, with a confidence that she had never seen in Alex. She stepped forward and smiled at Emma, her eyes lighting up. She paused just before she passed the telepath.
"You know… she trusts you a lot." The woman's eyes sought Emma's out. "More than you could know. Just as you have your dreams of love and acceptance, so does she." Her eyes pierced into Emma. "Don't make me regret what I'm about to tell you Human. I know you heard. She is gay and not because of the past. She's always been gay. It's part of who she is. At the last school, she was alienated to the point that only her mother would encourage her, that her mother was her only friend. Her mother encouraged her to go to school, to be normal. What she never knew was the constant teasing, the constant bullying and the regular beatings."
"How could her mother not know? They had a telepathic link." Emma replied quietly. The woman shook her head sadly.
"The experiments ruined her telepathy. The bond was pretty much one way, unless Alex specifically called to her. Her mother never knew, never suspected any of it. She thought that even if she hadn't sensed it, Alex would tell her. But Alex didn't. She knew that it would hurt her mother to know she couldn't even pretend to be normal. What I need to tell you, is that this school is reminding Alex exactly of the beginning of the trials of the last school. If it doesn't stop she will run. She will run and she won't stop until one of two things happen. One, she will run all her days, never settling down, always mistrusting, until she becomes what everyone fears, a psychopathic mutant with a grudge against the living. Or two, she will run until she finds someone who cares enough about her to make her feel loved, needed. If that happens, it would be a race between you and those you fight, and the likelihood of you winning is slim, because Alex would be running from you. It has to stop. Please… save her. Don't let her become feral." She placed a friendly kiss on Emma's cheek, smiling a bit. "I know you can do it. I trust you… and only you." She walked past and Emma watched her. She didn't realise she had been watching a little too intently until the older Alex's voice drifted back. "Might want to talk to Alex rather than stare at me." She disappeared into a puff of smoke.
Emma shook her head and turned back to Alex. She looked smaller here, more fragile. She looked like the age she was. Emma stepped forward to rest a hand on Alex's shoulder, which gained her a tired look from Alex.
"Hello." Emma said softly. She gave Alex her small smile. Alex turned to look at the river of lava.
"Hey." She replied. "I'm sorry… for everything." Her voice barely reached a whisper. "I'm sorry I got so mad. I just…"
"It wasn't your fault. You saved Maggie's life. She is a rather fragile person, a rape would have destroyed her. You knew that. You felt that when even Jean didn't." Alex turned to look at Emma again.
"I crushed Scott's hand. Even with Henry's help, it will be painful for weeks." Alex shook her head violently. "I didn't want to hurt him…" Emma was surprised to see tears in Alex's eyes. "I'm a… monster…"
"No, you aren't. You are not a monster. A monster wouldn't be crying now." Emma moved closer to wipe a tear from Alex's cheek. "You were pushed past your boundaries. I know that and now Scott knows that. He may not understand completely, but he isn't mad about his hand." Emma rubbed Alex's tense shoulders.
Alex took a sharp breath in and after a moment let it out slowly. She looked at Emma, really looked at her. "Emma… I'm… sorry about earlier. It's just…"
"Alex, I may not understand, but I can conceive it. I went to a mental institution when I was younger, because of my telepathy and the things they did… were painful to say the least." Alex turned to snake one arm around Emma's waist, giving her a half hug. "Will you talk to me now?" Alex withdrew and stared far across the plane. "You don't have to if-"
"Not here, not now." Alex turned to look at Emma. "I control my dreams with my thoughts. If I remembered them here, it would quickly turn into a nightmare in which we relive every pain. It is pain enough to remember." She hesitated. "You saw the demoness?" Emma tilted her head to one side.
"Yes. She looks like you, but older." Alex sighed at the response.
"I was trying to deny it, but she's right I guess. I think I figured out what my main power is." There was a bitter smile on Alex's face.
"Care to enlighten me?" She shook her head.
"Another time." She waved and Emma felt herself being pulled rather than pushed to her own body. Alex faded from her mind.
But when Emma opened her eyes, she could swear she had felt something touch her cheek. She raised a hand before she noticed Jean hovering over her.
"Thought you might want to head to somewhere more private, or at least more comfortable." She murmured softly. The lights were dimmed again. "Maggie is with Rogue, she's going to be fine."
"I'm glad she is." Both women turned their gazes to Alex, who was smiling wearily. "She doesn't need that kind of thing haunting her." Abruptly, Alex switched topics. "Could I skip your class Mrs Summers? It's first thing and I don't think I'll be able to stay awake if I attend."
"I think I can look the other way this time." She smiled and began down the hall. "You'll have to make it up later though." She turned down another hall.
Alex began to stand up. Emma swiftly got to her feet and helped the younger woman to her feet, though Alex was shaky when she did. She tried to smile.
"I guess I might not be able to make your class either." Alex leaned heavily on the wall. "You can go get some sleep. I think I can make it on my own."
"Come, I'll make sure you get there." Emma slid her arm around Alex's waist and helped her up the rest of the stairs, taking most of her weight on. By the time they reached Alex's door, Alex was shaking from exhaustion. Red mist wrapped around the door knob and swung the door open moments before they passed through the threshold.
Alex collapsed onto the bed immediately when they reached it. She propped herself up against the pillows and gestured Emma to sit down.
"Thank you… Ms Frost… for everything." Alex could barely keep her eyes open.
"Why do you call me Emma in your dreams and Ms Frost out here?" Emma couldn't help but be curious. And from the answer she got, Alex was being a little more open than usual in her exhaustion.
"In the dreams, I am your equal. I can do anything I want, I could fly if I wanted to. In some ways, there, I am superior. But out here, I know I am not your equal. I will be lucky if I'm ever your equal. I know that. In this reality, I know who is stronger than me and I know to respect those that are." Her head fell back to lie on the cushions.
"Scott's stronger than you." Emma commented. That got a wry chuckle from her.
"No, Scott's better trained than me. He isn't stronger than me. There is a difference." She was softly smiling.
"Who else do you respect?" Emma questioned.
"You, Mr McCoy, Mrs Summer, although I can't see why she married Scott, the Professor, but that's more from my mom telling me about my great uncle than anything… that guy… I don't know his name but he's very brawny, very feral."
"Logan?" Emma supplied.
"He smokes a lot and he has that kinda wild vibe to him." Alex shrugged.
"I didn't think you'd met him."
"I haven't. I saw him… in his dreams. He was happy there, truly, blissfully happy. You don't get that often in the dream world." She leaned her head back on the pillow.
"Is there anyone else?" Alex shook her.
"No one that I've met. Well, I respect a lot of people, but those are the ones that are in a class of their own, where they differentiate in the two realms." Emma frowned at the phrasing.
"Why does that make us different?"
Alex blinked lazily at Emma, a small smile on her face.
"Because, when I see someone in the realm of dreams, they... they have this aura… thing. I can tell, at a glance, whether I can trust that person. Sometimes, very few times, I can trust someone with my own soul. Mom… before it happened… was one. But then she changed. I couldn't let her in anymore, I couldn't let her see my world." Suddenly the air in became very tense and Alex's eyes shot open, staring into Emma. They seemed to bare every secret with Emma's very soul. They were a fiery red.
"Your world?" Emma whispered.
"Everyone has a world. Even I do. Only… I can't let many people in. They wouldn't understand it. I don't really understand it. But it is my world and always will be." Alex sat up straight and held out one hand, gathering red mist to it until it was a small ball of energy. "I finally have a reason though." Her eyes left Emma's face to stare at the ball. "Mr McCoy said that the area I mutated in was one they thought to be unchangeable. It isn't involved in digestive, at least, not in the way he thinks. It's involved with the energy someone uses. Mutants usually have reservoirs of power that they call upon, which is still unchanged from normal human reservoir. Mine… taps into a different sort of energy…" She stared at the ball of red energy. "This energy." Her eyes returned to Emma's and they seemed to pulse. "When you saw that cavern, what was your first thought?" Emma hesitated, not wanting to voice it aloud. "I bet it was something to do with Hell. Mom thought so too… but she only got to see it once, so she thought it was just a nightmare I had."
"It's not like you had a choice." Emma growled and Alex smiled.
"What lives in hell Mrs Frost? What did you see on the lower levels?"
"Demons…" Emma was struck with realization. "The energy you were talking about, you're not using the same energy we do… you use demonic energy." Alex let her smile slip and she only nodded, closing her hand on the energy
"The demoness tried to tell me, I just didn't want to listen." The red faded and Emma was staring into Alex's grey eyes. "I'm so alone…" Emma heard the heartache there.
"We're here, all of us. Even Scott. He may be a little unsophisticated at times, but he is a good guy overall. You aren't alone."
"Will you be there?" Emma felt a tentative brush against her shields.
"My office door is always open to students." The mental touch withdrew for a moment.
"Not as a teacher… as a… friend." Alex whispered her voice barely audible.
"I can try." Emma said, giving Alex her soft smile. Not many wanted to be her friend, no matter what age. There was another mental touch on her shields and she lowered them to reply to it. :What!: she snapped. But there was no answer. She felt whoever it was touch her mentally, quite intimately, but before she had the chance to get angry, it vanished. When she placed her shields back up, she saw that Alex had fallen asleep.
Emma smiled and caressed the tousled hair for a moment before she got up and headed back to get some sleep.
"What are you doing here kid? You gotta get out of here! They'll come after you too!" I shook my head and wiped the dream, leaving the two of us in the white plain. He jerked and looked around. "What just happened? Where are we?" he asked.
"You're dreaming. Your nightmare drew me out, I had to help." I smiled shyly at him. "Sorry if it's personal, I know how hard it can be. The events of the past always haunt us."
"You're the new kid, the one who is scared of pretty much everyone but Emma." He replied. I glared at him.
"I'm not scared, just overly cautious. I think I've got reason to be." I stuck my tongue out at him.
"So do most of the other kids here. Don't see them get scared at the guys." He wasn't meaning to be callous, it was just automatic.
"I have a very good reason for that, just like you have very good reason to run from those people. They did horrible things to you. Men did horrible things to me as well. Simple as that." He studied me for a while.
"So it's true then. You were raped."
"Let's not talk about the subject." I held out a hand. "I'm Alex."
"Logan." He scented the air, his nostrils flaring. "Interesting." He commented.
"What? Do I stink or something?" I murmured. He shook his head.
"No, you just smell like brimstone. It's an odd scent for someone living, that's all." He grinned. "You're much more confident here." I smiled at him and suddenly we were in a mall, with dozens of people around us.
"Wouldn't you be if you could do this?" I twirled to indicate the people around us. They vanished after a few moments. "It's like being able to control the world!" I grinned at him.
"Must be like Jean and Emma feel sometimes." He crouched down, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Wanna spar, since you're here?"
"I warn you, I am no martial artist, I just sorta flail around." I said, mimicking his movements. The mall vanished.
"I'll take it easy on you then." He leapleapt at me, fist raised. I scrambled aside and swung my fist at him, barely catching one of his arms. He just smiled at me and came again.
We sparred for what seemed like hours, with me trying to keep away from his blows and him trying to keep up with me. A noise reached me and I stopped, tilting my head to the side. Logan stopped his fist inches away, as though he was aware I wasn't sparring anymore.
"Either my alarm is going off really early or someone is in my room." I smiled at him. "It was fun, maybe I could do it with you sometime for real. You wouldn't by chance offer courses of self defence would you?" He smiled and nodded.
"Only to people I like." He smiled at me. "Just come talk to me, and we'll see if we can arrange a time." I smiled and waved at him.
"Enjoy your sleep, I doubt you'll have a nightmare now."
I opened my eyes, still smiling. But that smile slipped when I heard a noise, very soft noise. It definitely wasn't my alarm. When I heard someone swear softly when they banged into the chest at the bottom of my bed I knew someone was there, and not someone I was familiar with.
I waited, hearing their footsteps come closer. I shivered, but remained still, hoping they would just go away. Of course, when was my luck ever with me?
I felt them lift the covers. It brought back memories I hated, of a time a I despised. I stiffened when I felt someone slid into the bed next to me. Whoever it was leapt out of bed immediately as soon as they had dropped the covers. The candles in the room lit, their flames over a foot long, throwing the room into something close to daylight.
It lit up my intruders face. It was a male, one I wasn't familiar with. Something in his face I recognised, though his expression was foreign to me. I didn't notice the roar that I was releasing. I didn't notice anything but the familiar fear that throbbed in my veins. I scrambled back, trying to pass through the walls, just trying to get away. I didn't care who it was, or why, but I was transported back to the time in which the government had taken my mother. To the time in which I was in foster care.
"Ten minutes." The man at the door said as the other one approached. It felt like I was strapped down, even though I knew I wasn't Mommy was though. The man's breath smelled funny when he moved his face closer. Mommy turned her head away in an attempt to escape the smell. His hand hit her and it felt like it was hitting me.. "I didn't say you could look away you little whore." I didn't understand why he was laying on top of her. It was weird.
"You be a good and stay quiet. Maybe I'll give you pleasure if you do." He moved to take off his shorts before he climbed back on top of my mom. He smiled, grabbed both wrists, holding them in a bruising grip. My wrists felt like they were breaking
"You'll like this…" He murmured, before he thrust into her, into me, causing me to scream. It was worse than anything I'd ever felt and it hurt. The whole time, I wished for it to stop. For the first time in my life, I wanted to die.