A/N: This one isn't as funny as I hoped it would be...

I also would have had this for you 2 days ago, but the first day my mum wouldn't let me on the net and the second day wouldn't let me login.

Harry Potter Fanclub Chat Room

elbowinthebutterdish has joined the chat.

creevy401 has joined the chat.

creevy402 has joined the chat,

elbowinthebutterdish: Hey Colin, Dennis.

creevy401: Hey Ginny.

creevy402: Hiya.

elbowinthebutterdish: Hey Colin?

creevy401: Yeah?

elbowinthebutterdish: Have you acquired the object yet?

creevy402: Oooooh that object! Have ya Colin? Have ya?!

creevy401: After many hours of hard work and toil, I have it.

elbowinthebutterdish: Excellent. I was beginning to worry.

creevy401: D'you think Harry will notice a piece of his hair is missing?

elbowinthebutterdish: I doubt it. He didn't notice when a pair of his boxers, his dirty socks, and his soap went missing, now did he?

creevy402: No, no he didn't! Did he Colin?!

creevy401: I don't think so, but he seemed to be being extra careful.

elbowinthebutterdish: How so?

creevy401: He slept with all the lights on and with his wand in his hand.

elbowinthebutterdish: ... his wand in his hand? Don't boys do that...?

creevy401: His magical wand, not the other. Get your mind out of the gutter!

elbowinthebutterdish: Oops...

creevey402: Oooooooh! How did ya get the hair then, Colin?!

creevey401: Chloroform.

elbowinthebutterdish: You mean that green stuff in plants?

creevey401: It knocks you out.

elbowinthebutterdish: Now, what else is required?

creevey401: Uh, we still need his toenail clipping and some saliva...

creevey402: Oooooh! We should steal his toothbrush! Can we?!

elbowinthebutterdish: Sure. Dennis, you get the toothbrush. Colin, you get clippings.

creevey401: What are you going to do, Ginny?

elbowinthebutterdish: Observe and plan.

creevey401: Hm.

elbowinthebutterdish: Hey! It's hard!

creevey401: I never said that it wasn't!

elbowinthebutterdish: That's what you insinuated...

creevy401: No I didn't!

creevy402: No he didn't! Did you Colin?!

creevy401: No I didn't, Dennis.

elbowinthebutterdish: I'm offended, regardless.

creevy401: Alright then. Ginny?

elbowinthebutterdish: Yeah?

creevy401: I need you to get your brother to distract Harry. If all else fails, do it yourself.

elbowinthebutterdish: How could I distract him?

creevy402: Yeah! How! How?!

creevy401: I dunno, tell him that a crazed fan girl is searching the castle for him, wearing only a towel. Tell him he'll only be safe if he hides in the Chamber Of Secrets or something.

elbowinthebutterdish: ... how the hell did you think that up.

creevy401: I always dreamed of doing that...

creevy402: Yeah, yeah! Me too! How about you Ginny?!

elbowinthebutterdish: I'd really rather not stoop to that level.

creevy401: Excuse me? May I remind you, 'His eyes are green as pickled toad'?

elbowinthebutterdish: Shut it, Creevy.

creevy402: I'm a Creevy too!

elbowinthebutterdish: Why did we let him join?

creevy401: I dunno. Cause mummy told me she'd take away my Unauthorized Biography of Harry?

elbowinthebutterdish: Ah, right.

creevy402: Something bad's about to happen.

creevy401: What?

creevy402: I always was good at Divination, and something's about to happen.

elbowinthebutterdish: Weirdo...

gryffie4ever has joined the chat.

gryffie4vever: What the hell do you think you're doing?!

elbowinthebutterdish: Uh... fanclubbing?

creevey401: Worshipping?

gryffie4ever: What the hell? You're collecting my things and body parts?!

elbowinthebutterdish: Harry! Don't tell Ron! He'll murder me!

gryffie4ever: You don't want me to tell my best friend that his little sister and her friends want my toenails?!

bookwormgrangerheart 3 has joined the chat.

bookwormgrangerheart 3: Ginny... why?

gryffie4ever: I want to know that, too.

creevy402: We wanted to make a fan club! How'd you like it? Huh? Huh, Harry?!

bookwormgrangerheart 3: How the hell do you think he likes it! You're all stalking him!

gryffie4ever: Exactly! That's exactly what you're doing! You're all stalkers!

elbowinthebutterdish: We are not stalkers!

gryffie4ever: And you're the one who sent the pickled toad poem!

elbowinthebutterdish: That wasn't me!

creevy401: Liar...

elbowinthebutterdish: Hey! Whose side are you on, then?

creevy402: We're both on Harry's.

elbowinthebutterdish: Traitors.

bookwormgrangerheart 3: Hello? Still here!

gryffie4ever: So am I!

bookwormgrangerheart 3: Should you get a restraining order?

gryffie4ever: Can I?

bookwormgrangerheart 3: You should...

creevy401: Noooooooooooo! Not a restraining order!

creevy402: We'll stop stalking and collecting! We just want to be near you!

gryffie4ever: No more stalking?

creevy401: None!

gryffie4ever: Alright them.

creevy402: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

creevy401 has left the chat.

creevy402 has left the chat.

bookwormgrangerheart 3: Don't think we've forgotten you little miss 'Lets Stalk My Brother's Friend'!

elbowinthebutterdish: It was not stalking!

bookwormgrangerheart 3: Shall I tell mum, then?

elbowinthebutterdish: No! Not her!

gryffie4ever: No more stalking?

elbowinthebutterdish: Fine. And it wasn't stalking.

gryffie4ever: I also want all of my things back.

elbowinthebutterdish: Can't we at least keep your hair...?

bookwormgrangerheart 3: Mum.

elbowinthebutterdish: Fine.

elbowinthebutterdish has left the chat.

gryffe4ever: I'm still getting a restraining order.

bookwormgrangerheart 3: I was just about to suggest that, mate.

gryffie4ever has left the chat.

bookwormgrangerheart 3 has left the chat.

A/N: I'm dreadfully sorry for how long it took for this to get to you (I'm also dreadfully sorry for the poor quality...). But, I left for my dad's the day after I posted last, and I was there for about 5 days. As he has no Internet, I couldn't post. But I hadn't written anything, anyway... Any who, I hope to have more for you in a few days.