A/N: Eek, I am so, so, SO sorry for the lack of humor in this chapter. I know, I suck.
Former DADA Teachers Chat Room
moonythemagnificent has joined the chat.
idonotlooklikeatoad has joined the chat.
idonotlooklikeatoad: Filthy half-breed.
moonythemagnificent: ...what?
idonotlooklikeatoad: You're a werewolf. Therefore, a filthy half-breed.
moonythemagnificent: I'm not even going to respond to that.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway has joined the chat.
moonythemagnificent: Who're you?
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Lockhart! Would you like my autograph?
moonythemagnificent: Er, no thanks. Perhaps another time.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Very well then! I have been practicing, you know. The nurse says I'm getting much, much better!
idonotlooklikeatoad: Lockhart? As in Gilderoy Lockhart?
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: The same.
idonotlooklikeatoad: Omg! I am such a big fan! I particularly like that one book of yours! You know? The one where you kill that half-breed?
moonythemagnificent: I dislike you already.
idonotlooklikeatoad: Silence, half-breed! You are not to speak while Gilderoy is speaking!
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Ah, don't fret. I'm sure he's only trying to bask in the radiated glory!
moonythemagnificent: Yes, I really want to, ahem, 'bask in the radiated glory' as you so eloquently put it.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Doesn't everyone?
moonythemagnificent: ... I'm afraid not.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: I can fix that. Just come to me with a brussel sprout, half a pound of newt eyes, the toenails of an Albanian Chimpanzee and 13 cups of crushed unicorn horn and I'll have you right as rain!
moonythemagnificent: Hm.
idonotlooklikeatoad: Don't doubt him! Ah, Gilderoy. Is there anything you can't do?
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: I can't seem to find any pudding. Be a dear and pick some up for me?
idonotlooklikeatoad: Oh, of course! Right away!
idonotlooklikeatoad has left the chat.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Delightful woman. Not many would find me pudding.
moonythemagnificent: Me being one of them.
turbanmaster has joined the chat.
moonythemagnificent: Who're you then?
turbanmaster: Is it not obvious in my name?
moonythemagnificent: I'm afraid not.
turbanmaster: I am... Quirrell.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Aren't you that bloke with that man in the back of his head?
moonythemagnificent: Right! The DADA teacher in Harry's first year.
turbanmaster: Correct. Why is it that you refer to different years as 'Harry's first year' or 'Harry's second year'?
moonythemagnificent: I... don't know. It just seems natural.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Odd.
turbanmaster: Indeed.
moonythemagnificent: Wait, now lets not get off topic. Aren't you dead?
turbanmaster: Dead?
moonythemagnificent: Dead, as in deceased? Extinct? No longer among the living?
turbanmaster: Oh, yes.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Would you care for my autograph?
turbanmaster: No.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Drat.
moonythemagnificent: Then how is it that you're still alive?
turbanmaster: I'm not.
moonythemagnificent: Then how are you talking to us?
turbanmaster: I'm not.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: I'm confused.
moonythemagnificent: Wait... what?
turbanmaster: They have computers over here.
moonythemagnificent: Where's here?
turbanmaster: I don't know where here is, where's there?
moonythemagnificent: There is here.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: I'm still confused.
turbanmaster: Ah, how then can you every be sure that there is actually here and not there?
moonythemagnificent: You can't. You have to trust that there is here and not actually there, because if here was there, then you'd know it.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Fine, I'll just sit here. Still confused.
turbanmaster: Very wise. For that, I shall enlighten you as the where I am.
moonythemagnificent: And where is that?
turbanmaster: Here.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Am I the only confused one here?
moonythemagnificent: Thanks. That really helps.
idonotlooklikeatoad has joined the chat.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Do you have my pudding?
idonotlooklikeatoad: I'm afraid not. There was an intervention and I'm no longer allowed to access the pudding.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway: Then you are of no use to me.
lockxoxmyxoxhartxoxaway has left the chat.
idonotlooklikeatoad: Wait, my love! I haven't yet gotten your autograph!
idonotlooklikeatoad has left the chat.
moonythemagnificent: Are you still there?
turbanmaster: Who are you to dictate where there is? For all you know, there could still be here.
moonythemagnificent: I'm not starting up with that again.
moonythemagnificent has left the chat.
turbanmaster: What? I think my ideas are rather ingenious.
turbanmaster: Oh, BTW, if you come back later, a couple up here says 'Hi'. A very nice couple, too. Red headed lady, green eyes? The man, messy hair, glasses? Recognize them?
turbanmaster: Oh well. You're gone anyway...
turbanmaster has left the chat.
A/N: Awwwwwww. Poor Moony. Anyway, I repeat, I am very sorry for how bad this chapter was. But I wrote it at my friend's house a little after four in the morning. Again, sorry.